Some Tough Things About Aging

[Tick]

I was watching a show today with an old Hungarian woman cooking authentic foods from Hungary. She reminded me of my grandmother. Then my mind started to drift away from what I was watching and I started thinking about how much I miss her. She has been gone 20 years now. Then I thought of my dad who passed away 22 years ago and I just starting getting sad. I guess that's one of the things that bothers me most about aging. I have lost so many loved ones and instead of time healing all wounds, I think it makes it worse. All the things my dad missed from knowing my wife, to knowing my beautiful daughter. My mom is now 76 and not in the best health. I started feeling guilty that I don't call her or make enough time for her like I should.

Just wanted to talk cause I was home sick today and I just started to bum out as my mind brought me to various places during the day.

Thanks for listening.

[RushCanuck]

Yes, we all have to go through this. Unfortunately, that's the way it is. It sucks. Sorry for your pain and take comfort you are not alone.

[snowdogged]

QUOTE (tick @ Mar 31 2011, 05:46 PM)

I was watching a show today with an old Hungarian woman cooking authentic foods from Hungary. She reminded me of my grandmother. Then my mind started to drift away from what I was watching and I started thinking about how much I miss her. She has been gone 20 years now. Then I thought of my dad who passed away 22 years ago and I just starting getting sad. I guess that's one of the things that bothers me most about aging. I have lost so many loved ones and instead of time healing all wounds, I think it makes it worse. All the things my dad missed from knowing my wife, to knowing my beautiful daughter. My mom is now 76 and not in the best health. I started feeling guilty that I don't call her or make enough time for her like I should. Just wanted to talk cause I was home sick today and I just started to bum out as my mind brought me to various places during the day. Thanks for listening.

Sorry that you are feeling down, Tick! It's never easy losing someone that is close to you and means a lot in the to you in this world. I've never been good or comfortable talking about these things with people who have lost someone close. I'm always afraid that I am going to say the wrong thing. I just hope that you start feeling better! I won't say any more than that because I'd probably end up saying something stupid.

[Good,bad,andrush]

QUOTE (tick @ Mar 31 2011, 05:46 PM)

I was watching a show today with an old Hungarian woman cooking authentic foods from Hungary. She reminded me of my grandmother. Then my mind started to drift away from what I was watching and I started thinking about how much I miss her. She has been gone 20 years now. Then I thought of my dad who passed away 22 years ago and I just starting getting sad. I guess that's one of the things that bothers me most about aging. I have lost so many loved ones and instead of time healing all wounds, I think it makes it worse. All the things my dad missed from knowing my wife, to knowing my beautiful daughter. My mom is now 76 and not in the best health. I started feeling guilty that I don't call her or make enough time for her like I should. Just wanted to talk cause I was home sick today and I just started to bum out as my mind brought me to various places during the day. Thanks for listening.

I can relate to this and I'm 17

[ridertoo98]

Sorry you feel bad Tick. Strange how the mind gets when it is idleing for too long. I try and stay away from those thoughts as I get older. Got enough crap on my plate now. I do feel like you do and it sucks. cant stop the clock or even slow it down. It seams to run faster for the ones we love the most..

[1 of the 7]

I'm one of the youngest in my family for my generation, have a much older brother and sister, a boyfriend 24 years older than I am, no kids, and a decent amount of older friends and people I look up to. I get freaked out sometimes thinking how alone I might be at the end of my life. With my health issues, at least I'm not likely to have the longevity a lot of my family has had, and be faced with years upon years of solitude, but it still weighs on my mind. I hope I can continue to find some kind of friend at that stage of the game. And I hope I'll have seized the days and made lots of memories to look back on.

 

Hope you can spend some quality time with mom soon and do the same.

[HowItIs]

Yes indeed, Tick. That's one of the hardest things about getting older. When I lost my Mom 17 months ago, it made me so aware of everyone I love growing older. I was scared of the future for awhile. I wanted to just be able to stop it, stop time (Time Stand Still - and why I still can't listen to that song). When I would think about people I care about leaving this earth, I'd get anxiety attacks. It's lessened over time but, as you rightly say, it never really gets better. Just further away. Know that you are not alone.

[summer_sky]

[Mara]

tick, I'm sorry you're down.

 

I am fortunate enough to have both parents still alive and healthy AND both grandmothers as well. My grandmothers are incredible women - one's 92 and still sharp and active (for her 90th birthday she got herself a new car). The other one is 89 and - get ready for it - still works a 40-50 hour week as office manager for a large corporation. She's been there for 65 years.

 

I am extremely close to both grandmothers and am just USED to having them in my life. They both live nearby so I see them often. I can't imagine life without these fabulous women. It's going to kill me to lose them.

[-D-RocK-]

Look at it this way:

 

 

The only other alternative to aging is dying young.

 

 

So far, you're winning.

 

 

Cheerio mate.

[In A Tidewater Surge]

[Silas Lang]

One of my grandmothers passed away 5 years back and I lost my dad 10 years ago when I was 30. My mom turns 60 this May but she's still very active and doesn't look or act her age. The disconcerting thing though is only in the past year have I noticed her aging a bit and how she's looking different than she always has. So that's a depressing thing to me. But like I said she's still going strong and barring anything unforeseen happening I think I'll have her around for another 20 years.

[Hatchetaxe&saw]

You're in my thoughts Tick, my mum is also 76, and she's old for her age, she's had a tough few years and she's pretty poorly. She's been in hospital for the past 6 weeks and we've been told she might not be able to go home. My brother and I have to tell her fairly soon that she's going to have to go to an old folks home. It's breaking our hearts, but we know she's going to get the 24hr care she needs.

 

I went to visit her on Wednesday and when I said goodbye, I kissed her on the forehead as opposed to the cheek as normal, don't know why, but I suppose my mother has now reverted to being like a child, and I, her carer. Tables have turned, it's weird, and rollercoaster emotional, but we're there for her and she knows we love her, and hopefully she has many years ahead of her.

 

Stay strong chief.

[Babycat]

My mother died at 55 when I was 24. It still hurts. They say time heals, but I don't think so. I miss her and think of her every day, and it's worse when her birthday comes around (she would've been 71 this year), and Mother's Day. My father is 82 this year & he misses her too. Stay strong, Tick. My thoughts are with you.

[Tarkus406]

QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Apr 1 2011, 10:50 AM)

Look at it this way: The only other alternative to aging is dying young. So far, you're winning. Cheerio mate.

Ya know....a lot of things this D-Rock character says are pretty absurd....but this time he's got it down to a tee.

 

Edit: I've been thinking about things lately as well. Whereas you're thinking about the past and how time has gone by...I'm thinking about the future and how uncertain everything is! It's scary that people my age have to either go to college for years and get REALLY high paying jobs to make it...or be poor and go on welfare, or stay with their parents. Where did the middle class go? I'm 21 and about to move to Kentucky to be with someone who's very special to me. To think that I may not be able to take care of her scares me! I have a savings but that'll only last so long these days. I'm trying to find work down there ahead of time but my lack of a college degree is really getting in the way of that. Even though Kentucky is cheaper than Connecticut, it doesn't mean we both can survive on a McJob. Maybe. In the ghetto. But I love her and I want better for her. I'm moving in July regardless of job status, because I promised I would. And I also promised that as soon as I get there, I'm going to college. Community college, but it's something. I just want to do things right and take care of myself and my loved one(s). My efforts could be successful and everything could be alright...or everything could go the wrong way and we could end up in a terrible binding situation. It feels like everything's a big gamble now. I'm not a gambler, but I guess I have to be, right? Can't just sit here and do nothing. I have someone to care for. And so do you, tick! You're a good responsible man who loves his family, and I respect that.

 

Sorry to go on about my issues, I guess I just wanted to say some stuff, too

[Natch]

Sorry you're feeling down, Tick.

 

My grandmother passed away just a few weeks ago, and I also feel guilty for not having made more time to be with her.

 

Maybe you should make arrangements to spend some time with your mother. You can't change the past, but you can work on the present. It might help alleviate some of that guilt.

 

We all feel guilt at one point or another. We all wish we could have done more for the person that passed on. It's normal.

 

I hope you have a better days ahead...

[Mara]

QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Apr 1 2011, 04:18 PM)

QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Apr 1 2011, 10:50 AM) Look at it this way: The only other alternative to aging is dying young. So far, you're winning. Cheerio mate. Ya know....a lot of things this D-Rock character says are pretty absurd....but this time he's got it down to a tee. Well, sort of.   Because, you see, one of the really sucky parts about hitting old age is that you get to watch your friends die. And it's hard. My older grandmother has attended the funerals of every single friend from the town in which she spent her entire married life. These were friends she had had for decades, people she'd shared everything with. She does have "new" friends here, but it isn't quite the same.   Still, both my grandmothers are fortunate to still have their health and be able to get out and do things. They know it, too.

[Tarkus406]

QUOTE (Mara @ Apr 1 2011, 04:32 PM)

QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Apr 1 2011, 04:18 PM) QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Apr 1 2011, 10:50 AM) Look at it this way: The only other alternative to aging is dying young. So far, you're winning. Cheerio mate. Ya know....a lot of things this D-Rock character says are pretty absurd....but this time he's got it down to a tee. Well, sort of.   Because, you see, one of the really sucky parts about hitting old age is that you get to watch your friends die. And it's hard. My older grandmother has attended the funerals of every single friend from the town in which she spent her entire married life. These were friends she had had for decades, people she'd shared everything with. She does have "new" friends here, but it isn't quite the same.   Still, both my grandmothers are fortunate to still have their health and be able to get out and do things. They know it, too. Thanks for quoting my post before I was done editing it Though I guess I added quite a bit to it

[Mara]

QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Apr 1 2011, 04:36 PM)

QUOTE (Mara @ Apr 1 2011, 04:32 PM) QUOTE (Tarkus406 @ Apr 1 2011, 04:18 PM) QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Apr 1 2011, 10:50 AM) Look at it this way: The only other alternative to aging is dying young. So far, you're winning. Cheerio mate. Ya know....a lot of things this D-Rock character says are pretty absurd....but this time he's got it down to a tee. Well, sort of.   Because, you see, one of the really sucky parts about hitting old age is that you get to watch your friends die. And it's hard. My older grandmother has attended the funerals of every single friend from the town in which she spent her entire married life. These were friends she had had for decades, people she'd shared everything with. She does have "new" friends here, but it isn't quite the same.   Still, both my grandmothers are fortunate to still have their health and be able to get out and do things. They know it, too. Thanks for quoting my post before I was done editing it Though I guess I added quite a bit to it You did, and it was worth reading.   I've found in the past few years that I absolutely ache at times with a longing to return to my childhood/teen years. It's absurd, because at the time, especially the teen years, I'd have given anything to get them over with!   Though I suppose I'm not thinking of it in a school/friends context (that's a sort of stress I'm glad to be past) so much as I am a family one. Seriously, I had the most awesome family growing up. Mom & Dad didn't have a lot of use for one another, but they didn't fight either and waited til me & my sister were out of college before divorcing.   It really is bittersweet; it's nice that I have good memories, but sad that it seems to have gone so quickly.

[Tinwoodsman]

I can sympathize with you! Hang in there! I can't find an appropriate emoticon.

 

 

Every day is a new day! Just remember ... you are not alone!

[Tick]

Hi all. I thank your for your responses. It was just one of those days. I had the flu and was way out of sorts in many ways. Not that my post wasn't heartfelt, but it was partially because I was so out of it.

I think we all suppress certain things and feelings(at least I do) in our lives that hurt because its easier that way. Then some days it all smacks you in the face and you kind of have to deal with your emotions.

I am not depressed, it was one of those days.

 

[HowItIs]

We all have 'em, Tick. It helps to get it out sometimes. Hope you're feeling better - the flu sucks.

[Gompers]

[garbo]

QUOTE (tick @ Apr 2 2011, 08:27 AM)

Hi all. I thank your for your responses. It was just one of those days. I had the flu and was way out of sorts in many ways. Not that my post wasn't heartfelt, but it was partially because I was so out of it. I think we all suppress certain things and feelings(at least I do) in our lives that hurt because its easier that way. Then some days it all smacks you in the face and you kind of have to deal with your emotions. I am not depressed, it was one of those days.

I always have to get that in perspective too. I'm glad you realized that and I hope you're feeling better now. The flu sucks.

 

My dad died really young and I've experienced a number of close relatives and friends dying and I'm young, but I always remind myself: I'd rather go young with a full life than go old doing nothing. So I live every day to its fullest extent. Maybe living with a chronic illness that has also nearly taken my life tends to give this mentality, I don't know, but it's a good way of thinking. My dad is the perfect example, though: in his short life he did more than most eighty-year olds.

 

However, when you're feeling sick you have the right to mope around.

[Babycat]

QUOTE (tick @ Apr 2 2011, 01:27 PM)

Hi all. I thank your for your responses. It was just one of those days. I had the flu and was way out of sorts in many ways. Not that my post wasn't heartfelt, but it was partially because I was so out of it. I think we all suppress certain things and feelings(at least I do) in our lives that hurt because its easier that way. Then some days it all smacks you in the face and you kind of have to deal with your emotions. I am not depressed, it was one of those days.

Hope you feel better soon, tick.