Good,bad,andrush Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (BeOhBe Bob @ Mar 18 2011, 08:09 AM) QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Mar 18 2011, 08:52 AM) I'd go with the topic (though often done) of masturbation. Every boy can relate to that [especially when you're that age] even those that claim they never wank. Anyways, keep on writing. ^^^^^ work this angle in....that's what I was implying. See? you're onto something. keep it up....um well you know what I mean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowdogged Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (BeOhBe Bob @ Mar 18 2011, 08:09 AM) QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Mar 18 2011, 08:52 AM) I'd go with the topic (though often done) of masturbation. Every boy can relate to that [especially when you're that age] even those that claim they never wank. Anyways, keep on writing. ^^^^^ work this angle in....that's what I was implying. See? you're onto something. keep it up....um well you know what I mean Don't worry, I've been working on the masturbation angle my whole life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowdogged Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowdogged Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Mar 18 2011, 07:52 AM) That paragraph reminded me of one of the pre-pubescent characters in The Peanut Butter Solution who tries to put the hair growth formula on his bald groin area. I'd go with the topic (though often done) of masturbation. Every boy can relate to that [especially when you're that age] even those that claim they never wank. Anyways, keep on writing. Thanks Johnny! Yeah, what was up with those people that claimed that they never masturbated? Nobody believed them. Even if it was true, nobody believed them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Maybe I was a weird kid (ok, I know I was), but I never "got" all the excitement over puberty. Hair in places where it's totally pointless, zits, mood swings - I failed then and now to see the romanticism of it. Becoming a woman? Ugh, for me it meant adding a somewhat less-than-comfortable piece of clothing to the wardrobe (a bra) and the horrors of menstruation. But this might just be a chick POV. Plus I was always something of a tomboy. Looking back, I bet my parents worried more than once that I might be a lesbian. However, I look forward to reading more of this work! I was an 80's teen as well and it was, for the most part, a pretty great time to grow up. If you discount the Cold War hysteria and some of the clothes, that is. The music is still my favorite era. *Also "puberty" is probably the word I hate most. Something about the way it sounds. We had a bio teacher in 10th grade who pronounced it "pooberty"; it cracked us up every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (snowdogged @ Mar 18 2011, 06:23 AM) QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Mar 18 2011, 07:52 AM) That paragraph reminded me of one of the pre-pubescent characters in The Peanut Butter Solution who tries to put the hair growth formula on his bald groin area. I'd go with the topic (though often done) of masturbation. Every boy can relate to that [especially when you're that age] even those that claim they never wank. Anyways, keep on writing. Thanks Johnny! Yeah, what was up with those people that claimed that they never masturbated? Nobody believed them. Even if it was true, nobody believed them. I have a girlfriend who has never ever masturbated. I totally believe her. Everyone else... they lie. If we ever meet, it's going to be weird shaking your hand. Cuz I know what you do with that hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (Mara @ Mar 18 2011, 06:53 AM) Maybe I was a weird kid (ok, I know I was), but I never "got" all the excitement over puberty. Hair in places where it's totally pointless, zits, mood swings - I failed then and now to see the romanticism of it. Becoming a woman? Ugh, for me it meant adding a somewhat less-than-comfortable piece of clothing to the wardrobe (a bra) and the horrors of menstruation. But this might just be a chick POV. Plus I was always something of a tomboy. Looking back, I bet my parents worried more than once that I might be a lesbian. However, I look forward to reading more of this work! I was an 80's teen as well and it was, for the most part, a pretty great time to grow up. If you discount the Cold War hysteria and some of the clothes, that is. The music is still my favorite era. *Also "puberty" is probably the word I hate most. Something about the way it sounds. We had a bio teacher in 10th grade who pronounced it "pooberty"; it cracked us up every time. I'm with you Mara. I never understand the hype around puberty. But I started early. I was one of the first girls in my circle of friends to go through puberty. Friends who went through puberty later seemed to be the ones obsessed about it. Probably the single most greatest thing about becoming a teenager was getting my ears pierced and being able to wear makeup. For some reason my mom made me wait until I was 12 for earrings and lip gloss. She ok'd eye shadow, blush (had to fight for this right), lip gloss (absolutely NO lip stick) and absolutely no eye liner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (snowdogged @ Mar 17 2011, 10:48 AM) QUOTE (-Ender- @ Mar 17 2011, 09:39 AM) Despite some initial flaws, like over using the exclamation point, and over using the word "pubes," it does show some promise. You've already established to age old struggle of pubescent kid vs. parents. The funniest part of that struggle is, it only really exists in the kid's mind, as the parents are either oblivious to it, or powerless to stop it. The real struggle is kid vs. nature, of which the kid is unaware, or believes he is in control of. You also use the word "just" too much. Relax with that. Carry on. Thanks, everyone has given me really good advice. Now, I am just going to have to try to put it into practice. Look, not one exclamation mark! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowdogged Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowdogged Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Man Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
workingcinderellaman Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (snowdogged @ Mar 17 2011, 11:01 AM) QUOTE (workingcinderellaman @ Mar 17 2011, 10:35 AM) I think you need the first paragraph to be as interesting as possible. This monologue on pubic hair might fit in better after you have the reader hooked on the story, but I don't think that it's interesting enough to start the story line. Do you have an outline of this story? Not written out, but basically I plan to make it his journey through the eighties and the trials and tribulations that he has to deal with and how he grows and changes in ways. I plan to throw in a lot of pop culture references from the 80's. As I said before, I'd like to make it sort of silly but in a way people could relate to. I don't think it will be easy but I will try. I still haven't thought out the whole story line but I will just move ahead and hope it comes to me as I move along. I think it makes it much easier if you write out a good outline first. You can always change it as you go, but it helps keep the story flowing and prevents continuity problems. That could be an interesting idea. The 80's rock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeOhBe Bob Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 See snowdogged?...I told you everyone can relate to wanking! Janie, I don't believe your friend. I believe you believe her but I think she's just an awesome liar. In fact, when people lie about it, I tend to believe that they could get a gold medal in masturbating if it were an Olympic sport. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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