Just for fun

[Daylin]

QUOTE (Cygnalschick @ Aug 25 2007, 11:31 PM)

QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 25 2007, 10:23 PM) http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/look.gif Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/womanbrain.gif Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.  A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts. Boy is that true! I have an ongoing "to do" list in my head that never stops!

[Lady April]

QUOTE (Daylin @ Aug 27 2007, 01:18 PM)

QUOTE (Cygnalschick @ Aug 25 2007, 11:31 PM) QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 25 2007, 10:23 PM) http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/look.gif Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/womanbrain.gif Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.  A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts. Boy is that true! I have an ongoing "to do" list in my head that never stops! Wow, you read my mind!   That is amazing.

[Natch]

QUOTE

Rolinda Bonz Posted on Aug 25 2007, 11:23 PM   Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration: Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved. A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.

 

And our balls are always blue too

[owlswing]

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

 

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

 

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

 

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

 

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

 

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

 

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "F" YOU!

 

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

 

[Arleen2112]

QUOTE (owlswing @ Aug 30 2007, 09:43 AM)

9 WORDS WOMEN USE 1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "F" YOU! 9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

 

Good one!

[steelcaressed]

QUOTE (owlswing @ Aug 30 2007, 09:43 AM)

9 WORDS WOMEN USE 1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "F" YOU! 9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

Thank you Owlie. Suddenly, things make sense now.

[Daylin]

QUOTE (Arleen2112 @ Aug 30 2007, 08:54 AM)

QUOTE (owlswing @ Aug 30 2007, 09:43 AM) 9 WORDS WOMEN USE   1.  Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2.  Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a 1/2 hour.  Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3.  Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5.  Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.) 6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. 8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "F" YOU! 9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking  'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.   Good one!   This is so true

[barney_rebel]

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1403/532558458_c56ec35325.jpg

[Daylin]

QUOTE (barney_rebel @ Aug 30 2007, 02:21 PM)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1403/532558458_c56ec35325.jpg

[ladirushfan80]

Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had been giving their new wives duties.

 

The first man had married a woman from Indiana, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

 

The second man had married a woman from Utah. He bragged that he had given

His wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the

Dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

 

The third man had married a Michigan girl. He said tha t he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything. The second day he didn't see anything,

But by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and start the lawn mower.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/moving%20pictures%20smilies/66.gif

[blonde77th]

[Cygnus]

A young cowboy walks into the town cafe. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded,

staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowpoke, 'If you

ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, go ahead.'

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately

barfs up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'

[Daylin]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Sep 4 2007, 06:35 AM)

Three men were sitting together, bragging about how they had been giving their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Indiana, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. The second man had married a woman from Utah. He bragged that he had given His wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the Dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a Michigan girl. He said tha t he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything. The second day he didn't see anything, But by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and start the lawn mower. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/moving%20pictures%20smilies/66.gif

ha ha

[Daylin]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Sep 6 2007, 10:18 AM)

A young cowboy walks into the town cafe. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?' The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, go ahead.' Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'

ewwww...

 

but, funny

[Lady April]

QUOTE (Daylin @ Sep 7 2007, 12:36 AM)

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Sep 6 2007, 10:18 AM) A young cowboy walks into the town cafe. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?' The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, go ahead.' Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.' ewwww...   but, funny omg! That was soo funny!

[Natch]

Ok...this is a dumb joke, but I'll tell it anyway...

 

This guy's wife is sick and tired of his partying ways and tells him that she's going to leave him. He doesn't want her to leave and pleads with her to stay, gets down on his knees begging.

 

He says, "Honey, I'll do whatever you want. I'll stop drinking and hanging out at the bar. And to show you I'm serious, when you come home from work tonight, I'll make you a candlelight dinner with your favorite meal, escargot!"

 

The wife gives in, and decides to give him one more chance. So, off she goes to work.

 

Later in the day, the husband goes out to buy the live snails to make dinner. He picks up the snails and on the way back home, he passes by his favorite bar. Looking at his watch, he thinks to himself, "Ahh, I'll just have a couple of beers. She'll never know".

 

Next thing he knows, several hours have passed, and he's extremely late for dinner. His wife surely must think he's back up to his old tricks.

So, he rushes out of the bar, bag of snails in hand.

 

As he stumbles up the steps to his front door, he slips and the snails spill all over the walkway. With that, the door flies open, and his wife screams, "Where the hell have you been??!!?"

 

Without responding, the husband turns to the snails and says,"Cmon guys, a little bit further, we're almost there!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Frankie7]

QUOTE (Natch @ Sep 7 2007, 12:23 PM)

Ok...this is a dumb joke, but I'll tell it anyway... This guy's wife is sick and tired of his partying ways and tells him that she's going to leave him. He doesn't want her to leave and pleads with her to stay, gets down on his knees begging. He says, "Honey, I'll do whatever you want. I'll stop drinking and hanging out at the bar. And to show you I'm serious, when you come home from work tonight, I'll make you a candlelight dinner with your favorite meal, escargot!" The wife gives in, and decides to give him one more chance. So, off she goes to work. Later in the day, the husband goes out to buy the live snails to make dinner. He picks up the snails and on the way back home, he passes by his favorite bar. Looking at his watch, he thinks to himself, "Ahh, I'll just have a couple of beers. She'll never know". Next thing he knows, several hours have passed, and he's extremely late for dinner. His wife surely must think he's back up to his old tricks. So, he rushes out of the bar, bag of snails in hand. As he stumbles up the steps to his front door, he slips and the snails spill all over the walkway. With that, the door flies open, and his wife screams, "Where the hell have you been??!!?" Without responding, the husband turns to the snails and says,"Cmon guys, a little bit further, we're almost there!"

Yeah, it is dumb, but still funny!

[gleamingalloyaircar81]

Hilarious, yet so true

[Cygnus]

There was a time when fathers had no chance for the mothers affection

when baby was around, until the secret weapon was discovered...

Will baby take the compition sitting down?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuSBCIV1zuQ

 

 

[Lady April]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Sep 13 2007, 01:47 PM)

There was a time when fathers had no chance for the mothers affection when baby was around, until the secret weapon was discovered... Will baby take the compition sitting down? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuSBCIV1zuQ

My husband still has no chance! He lost the day I gave birth!

[Cygnus]

The Blonde Waitress Gets Even

 

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

 

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the Kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat Tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think This place is . An auto parts store?"

 

"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of Headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of Crisp bacon."

 

"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then Spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

 

The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?"

 

She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, Headlights And running boards, you might as well gas up

 

[porthleven's rose]

Nice one!!!!!

[Cygnus]

FUTURE FEMINIST?

[Daylin]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Sep 20 2007, 10:32 AM)

FUTURE FEMINIST?

[Cygnus]

Dating Vs Marriage

 

 

When you are dating..... Farting is never an issue.

When you are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

 

When you are dating..... He takes you out to have a good time.

When you are married ....He brings home a 6 pack, and says "What are you going to drink?"

 

When you are dating..... He holds your hand in public.

When you are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

 

When you are dating..... A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad.

When you are married ....A King size bed feels like an army cot.

 

When you are dating..... You are turned on at the sight of him naked.

When you are married ....You think to yourself "Was he ALWAYS this hairy????"

 

When you are dating..... You enjoyed foreplay.

When you are married ....You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave me alone???"

 

When you are dating..... He hugs you, when he walks by you for no reason.

When you are married ....He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

 

When you are dating..... You picture the two of you together, growing old together.

When you are married ....You wonder who will die first.

 

When you are dating..... Just looking at him makes you feel all "mushy."

When you are married ....When you look at him, you want to claw his eyes out.

 

When you are dating..... He knows what the "hamper" is.

When you are married ....The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes storage area.

 

When you are dating..... He understands if you "Aren't in the mood."

When you are married ....He says "It's your job."

 

When you are dating..... He understands that you have "male" friends.

When you are married ....He thinks they are all out to steal you away.

 

When you are dating..... He likes to "discuss" things.

When you are married ....He develops a "blank" stare.

 

When you are dating..... He calls you by name.

When you are married ....He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when speaking to others as "She