Just for fun

[blonde77th]

My mind was in the Gutter

[owlswing]

OK...I was in the gutter too...but after some thought I worked a few out correctly...Now I want an Almond Joy

[Daylin]

QUOTE (owlswing @ Apr 18 2007, 02:51 PM)

OK...I was in the gutter too...but after some thought I worked a few out correctly...Now I want an Almond Joy

[girlfriend in a coma]

QUOTE (Slaine mac Roth @ Apr 13 2005, 01:05 PM)

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Apr 13 2005, 03:56 PM) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. That is very important and has needed to be said for a long, long, long time I always say this... If you put your bare ass down on something without looking first, you deserve whatever you get.

[porthleven's rose]

QUOTE (Daylin @ Apr 18 2007, 03:22 PM)

QUOTE (owlswing @ Apr 18 2007, 02:51 PM) OK...I was in the gutter too...but after some thought I worked a few out correctly...Now I want an Almond Joy   the gutter for me too!!!!!

[SeahawkRush]

QUOTE (Digital Man @ Apr 13 2005, 09:56 AM)

The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this.

Thats the funniest S**T I've ever heard. Printing a copy for my Wife!!

[owlswing]

Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually.

He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing seems to work.

So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

 

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he throws a

white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

 

Then he says, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once

a year. All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long

as you wish!"

 

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want

to continue?" The medicine man replies : "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down.

But be warned -- it will not work again for another year!"

 

Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and prowess.

That night he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts

on his most exotic shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says,"123."

 

He suddenly becomes more aroused than anytime in his life ... just

as the medicine man had promised. Joyce, who had been facing away,

turns over and asks,

 

"What did you say 123 for?"

 

And that, my friends, is why you shouldn't end a sentence with a

preposition.

 

[GhostGirl]

[Rolinda Bonz]

[CeeJ]

[blonde77th]

[Cygnus]

 

http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/127092.jpg

[iluvgeddy05]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jul 2 2007, 08:40 AM)

http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/127092.jpg

 

HAHA, totally unexpected!

[Stick it out]

How to please a Woman.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

you cant

[Daylin]

QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Jul 2 2007, 10:40 AM)

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jul 2 2007, 08:40 AM) http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/127092.jpg   HAHA, totally unexpected!

[Cygnus]

Men vs Women - different, yet the same!

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/c81a373dd43350d25da8a0917da581b5ca9.jpg--http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/5b2b9cda330dda134c14210ffcaf37a86ce.jpg

Edited July 17, 2007 by Cygnus

[porthleven's rose]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jul 17 2007, 10:13 AM)

Men vs Women - different, yet the same! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/c81a373dd43350d25da8a0917da581b5ca9.jpg--http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/5b2b9cda330dda134c14210ffcaf37a86ce.jpg

[Cygnus]

You Know You're a Mother When ...

 

You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.

 

You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

 

You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

 

Your kid throws-up and you catch it.

 

Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

 

As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

 

You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.

 

You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.

 

You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!"

 

You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

 

You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.

 

You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

 

You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.

 

You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything".

[Rolinda Bonz]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 2 2007, 05:26 AM)

You Know You're a Mother When ... You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. You have time to shave only one leg at a time. You hide in the bathroom to be alone. Your kid throws-up and you catch it. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating. As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!" You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything".

[Cygnus]

WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING INSIDE A WOMANS BRAIN!

.

.

http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/content/129172.gif

[owlswing]

QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 2 2007, 10:09 PM)

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 2 2007, 05:26 AM) You Know You're a Mother When ... You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. You have time to shave only one leg at a time. You hide in the bathroom to be alone. Your kid throws-up and you catch it. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating. As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in your good clothes!" You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything". Are we being watched...

[porthleven's rose]

My God-that takes me back!

 

I'd happily forgotten most of it!!!!!

[Rolinda Bonz]

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/look.gif

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works?

Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/womanbrain.gif

Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done,

a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.

 

A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.

 

 

 

[Cygnalschick]

QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 25 2007, 10:23 PM)

http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/look.gif Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well....it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/womanbrain.gif Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.  A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.

Boy is that true! I have an ongoing "to do" list in my head that never stops!

[porthleven's rose]

Guess that's why women can multi-task and men--*?=%-cant!!!