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Deciding to be child-free

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#21 Rushchick10

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 11:14 AM

I never actually wanted to have children and I have no problem saying that.  However, even though I was careful at the time (both birth control AND condoms), my son came to be.  While regret is probably not the best word to describe the feelings I have about having him, I have since decided that I am not doing it again.  I had my tubes tied about 2-3 years ago.  Trust me, it's not just childless younger women (I was in my early 30's) who have a problem finding a doctor who will complete that procedure for them.  It took me nearly 12 years to find one.  

I do feel like I missed out on what I really wanted to do with my life because I compromised and had a child early on.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel:  I'll only be 39 when he graduates from high school.  So, I will still be relatively young and have a lot of life ahead of me.  I'm also single by choice because I really don't want to run the risk of having one of the same problems with another man that I had with my ex-husband.  He was quite happy living in this area and I, quite frankly, hate it no end.  I tried on several occasions to get him interested in moving and he was having nothing to do with that.  The only reason I am staying now is so my son can finish high school with his best friends.  Once that is done, I will be taking aggressive steps to leave his hell-hole.  

I know that there are some people who feel like their lives are fulfilled by having children.  While my son is amazing and I love him no end, I don't feel that my purpose in life has been fulfilled simply by being responsible for the presence of another human being.  Quite frankly, any idiot with sexual organs can get with another and make a child.  It isn't rocket science.  The scores of unwanted, abused and neglected children in the world are a testament to that fact.  So, for me at least, I never understood how a simple act of natural science could make a person feel fulfilled in life.  Maybe it's the raising them, but that always seemed too vicarious for my liking.  It's a mystery to me for sure and I am certainly not saying that people who feel that way are inferior.  I just never had that compulsion, and I have yet to come across another human being (my son included) that I would task with making me happy.  That's MY responsibility.  People comment to me all the time what a "good kid" my son is.  He's achieved some pretty cool things and he is respectful and compassionate.  Yes, I am proud of him, but his achievements don't fulfill me and my needs in life.  Once a child gets past a certain point in life, their achievements are their own.  And, Alex is way past that point.  

So, I guess what I am saying is that I have very mixed feelings about being a parent.  On one hand I never wanted that for myself, and the aspirations that I had in life were pretty much destroyed when I had my son (without getting into a lot of detail, the career path I was trying to start was not the best environment to raise a child due to extensive travel leading to a "gypsy" type lifestyle).  But, I do adore him and I am privileged to know him.  He makes me proud, but not fulfilled.  I'm not sure if I would do things differently if given the opportunity for a re-do.  Probably not, but there has been an empty spot that I have tried to fill to no avail.  I've just had this nagging feeling for the past 14-15 years that I really missed out on the life I wanted for myself because of that one choice I made to keep my son.

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#22 KennyLee

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 11:16 AM

I was never gung ho about having kids, like it was a definite plan for me but I grew up in a big family so I never ruled it out. My wife wanted kids and still wants more. We have three. A 19 year old, 15 year old and a 5 year old.

They are my absolute everything and I didn't even know anything could be before them. I get no greater pleasure than watching them work hard, succeed, experience new things and just enjoy life. Kids are not for everyone and I respect people who realize that before having kids. I am beyond happy that I "fell into" having kids. I would have never pushed the issue, just did not reject her desire to have them. So glad I didn't.

#23 Narps

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 11:24 AM

View PostRushchick10, on 12 August 2014 - 11:14 AM, said:

I never actually wanted to have children and I have no problem saying that.  However, even though I was careful at the time (both birth control AND condoms), my son came to be.  While regret is probably not the best word to describe the feelings I have about having him, I have since decided that I am not doing it again.  I had my tubes tied about 2-3 years ago.  Trust me, it's not just childless younger women (I was in my early 30's) who have a problem finding a doctor who will complete that procedure for them.  It took me nearly 12 years to find one.  

I do feel like I missed out on what I really wanted to do with my life because I compromised and had a child early on.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel:  I'll only be 39 when he graduates from high school.  So, I will still be relatively young and have a lot of life ahead of me.  I'm also single by choice because I really don't want to run the risk of having one of the same problems with another man that I had with my ex-husband.  He was quite happy living in this area and I, quite frankly, hate it no end.  I tried on several occasions to get him interested in moving and he was having nothing to do with that.  The only reason I am staying now is so my son can finish high school with his best friends.  Once that is done, I will be taking aggressive steps to leave his hell-hole.  

I know that there are some people who feel like their lives are fulfilled by having children.  While my son is amazing and I love him no end, I don't feel that my purpose in life has been fulfilled simply by being responsible for the presence of another human being.  Quite frankly, any idiot with sexual organs can get with another and make a child.  It isn't rocket science.  The scores of unwanted, abused and neglected children in the world are a testament to that fact.  So, for me at least, I never understood how a simple act of natural science could make a person feel fulfilled in life.  Maybe it's the raising them, but that always seemed too vicarious for my liking.  It's a mystery to me for sure and I am certainly not saying that people who feel that way are inferior.  I just never had that compulsion, and I have yet to come across another human being (my son included) that I would task with making me happy.  That's MY responsibility.  People comment to me all the time what a "good kid" my son is.  He's achieved some pretty cool things and he is respectful and compassionate.  Yes, I am proud of him, but his achievements don't fulfill me and my needs in life.  Once a child gets past a certain point in life, their achievements are their own.  And, Alex is way past that point.  

So, I guess what I am saying is that I have very mixed feelings about being a parent.  On one hand I never wanted that for myself, and the aspirations that I had in life were pretty much destroyed when I had my son (without getting into a lot of detail, the career path I was trying to start was not the best environment to raise a child due to extensive travel leading to a "gypsy" type lifestyle).  But, I do adore him and I am privileged to know him.  He makes me proud, but not fulfilled.  I'm not sure if I would do things differently if given the opportunity for a re-do.  Probably not, but there has been an empty spot that I have tried to fill to no avail.  I've just had this nagging feeling for the past 14-15 years that I really missed out on the life I wanted for myself because of that one choice I made to keep my son.
Admire your honesty..... :codger:

#24 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 11:48 AM

View PostRushchick10, on 12 August 2014 - 11:14 AM, said:

I never actually wanted to have children and I have no problem saying that.  However, even though I was careful at the time (both birth control AND condoms), my son came to be.  While regret is probably not the best word to describe the feelings I have about having him, I have since decided that I am not doing it again.  I had my tubes tied about 2-3 years ago.  Trust me, it's not just childless younger women (I was in my early 30's) who have a problem finding a doctor who will complete that procedure for them.  It took me nearly 12 years to find one.  

I do feel like I missed out on what I really wanted to do with my life because I compromised and had a child early on.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel:  I'll only be 39 when he graduates from high school.  So, I will still be relatively young and have a lot of life ahead of me.  I'm also single by choice because I really don't want to run the risk of having one of the same problems with another man that I had with my ex-husband.  He was quite happy living in this area and I, quite frankly, hate it no end.  I tried on several occasions to get him interested in moving and he was having nothing to do with that.  The only reason I am staying now is so my son can finish high school with his best friends.  Once that is done, I will be taking aggressive steps to leave his hell-hole.  

I know that there are some people who feel like their lives are fulfilled by having children.  While my son is amazing and I love him no end, I don't feel that my purpose in life has been fulfilled simply by being responsible for the presence of another human being.  Quite frankly, any idiot with sexual organs can get with another and make a child.  It isn't rocket science.  The scores of unwanted, abused and neglected children in the world are a testament to that fact.  So, for me at least, I never understood how a simple act of natural science could make a person feel fulfilled in life.  Maybe it's the raising them, but that always seemed too vicarious for my liking.  It's a mystery to me for sure and I am certainly not saying that people who feel that way are inferior.  I just never had that compulsion, and I have yet to come across another human being (my son included) that I would task with making me happy.  That's MY responsibility.  People comment to me all the time what a "good kid" my son is.  He's achieved some pretty cool things and he is respectful and compassionate.  Yes, I am proud of him, but his achievements don't fulfill me and my needs in life.  Once a child gets past a certain point in life, their achievements are their own.  And, Alex is way past that point.  

So, I guess what I am saying is that I have very mixed feelings about being a parent.  On one hand I never wanted that for myself, and the aspirations that I had in life were pretty much destroyed when I had my son (without getting into a lot of detail, the career path I was trying to start was not the best environment to raise a child due to extensive travel leading to a "gypsy" type lifestyle).  But, I do adore him and I am privileged to know him.  He makes me proud, but not fulfilled.  I'm not sure if I would do things differently if given the opportunity for a re-do.  Probably not, but there has been an empty spot that I have tried to fill to no avail.  I've just had this nagging feeling for the past 14-15 years that I really missed out on the life I wanted for myself because of that one choice I made to keep my son.

:goodone:

#25 Mara

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 12:10 PM

Better to NOT have them and regret it later than to have them and spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn't.

#26 Lorraine

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 12:18 PM

View PostMara, on 12 August 2014 - 12:10 PM, said:

Better to NOT have them and regret it later than to have them and spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn't.

Agreed.  I remember when I was in a halfway house in the early eighties being with an absolutely beautiful woman who had three absolutely beautiful children that she disliked intensely and wished she never had.  I felt sorry for her.

Edited by Lorraine, 12 August 2014 - 12:19 PM.


#27 EagleMoon

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 12:39 PM

View Postx1yyz, on 12 August 2014 - 10:39 AM, said:

I also don't know how to relate to small kids.  (Maybe all of this contributes to not wanting kids?)  You can't talk with babies, obviously, but the older the kids get the easier it is to deal with them.  I can deal with them just fine once they turn about 30.

I have always felt the same way. My sister is like the complete opposite though.  Apparently she inherited all of the mothering genes. She was a real girly girl and even as an adult she collects dolls which I think is a little creepy.

#28 x1yyz

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 01:05 PM

View PostLorraine, on 12 August 2014 - 12:18 PM, said:

View PostMara, on 12 August 2014 - 12:10 PM, said:

Better to NOT have them and regret it later than to have them and spend the rest of your life wishing you hadn't.

Agreed.  I remember when I was in a halfway house in the early eighties being with an absolutely beautiful woman who had three absolutely beautiful children that she disliked intensely and wished she never had.  I felt sorry for her.

People like that really need to give their kids up for adoption.  It's just not fair to the kids to grow up in a world of hate.

Speaking as someone who was adopted (at age 2 months; I was born to an unwed mother who obviously didn't want me) I am thrilled my biological parents gave me up so I could be raised by parents who actually wanted me.

I do wonder if the desire to not have children is hereditary.  If so, maybe I got it from my mother.  Certainly this is a gene which would quickly die out.

#29 x1yyz

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 01:07 PM

View PostRushchick10, on 12 August 2014 - 11:14 AM, said:

I never actually wanted to have children and I have no problem saying that.  However, even though I was careful at the time (both birth control AND condoms), my son came to be.  While regret is probably not the best word to describe the feelings I have about having him, I have since decided that I am not doing it again.  I had my tubes tied about 2-3 years ago.  Trust me, it's not just childless younger women (I was in my early 30's) who have a problem finding a doctor who will complete that procedure for them.  It took me nearly 12 years to find one.  

I do feel like I missed out on what I really wanted to do with my life because I compromised and had a child early on.  However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel:  I'll only be 39 when he graduates from high school.  So, I will still be relatively young and have a lot of life ahead of me.  I'm also single by choice because I really don't want to run the risk of having one of the same problems with another man that I had with my ex-husband.  He was quite happy living in this area and I, quite frankly, hate it no end.  I tried on several occasions to get him interested in moving and he was having nothing to do with that.  The only reason I am staying now is so my son can finish high school with his best friends.  Once that is done, I will be taking aggressive steps to leave his hell-hole.  

I know that there are some people who feel like their lives are fulfilled by having children.  While my son is amazing and I love him no end, I don't feel that my purpose in life has been fulfilled simply by being responsible for the presence of another human being.  Quite frankly, any idiot with sexual organs can get with another and make a child.  It isn't rocket science.  The scores of unwanted, abused and neglected children in the world are a testament to that fact.  So, for me at least, I never understood how a simple act of natural science could make a person feel fulfilled in life.  Maybe it's the raising them, but that always seemed too vicarious for my liking.  It's a mystery to me for sure and I am certainly not saying that people who feel that way are inferior.  I just never had that compulsion, and I have yet to come across another human being (my son included) that I would task with making me happy.  That's MY responsibility.  People comment to me all the time what a "good kid" my son is.  He's achieved some pretty cool things and he is respectful and compassionate.  Yes, I am proud of him, but his achievements don't fulfill me and my needs in life.  Once a child gets past a certain point in life, their achievements are their own.  And, Alex is way past that point.  

So, I guess what I am saying is that I have very mixed feelings about being a parent.  On one hand I never wanted that for myself, and the aspirations that I had in life were pretty much destroyed when I had my son (without getting into a lot of detail, the career path I was trying to start was not the best environment to raise a child due to extensive travel leading to a "gypsy" type lifestyle).  But, I do adore him and I am privileged to know him.  He makes me proud, but not fulfilled.  I'm not sure if I would do things differently if given the opportunity for a re-do.  Probably not, but there has been an empty spot that I have tried to fill to no avail.  I've just had this nagging feeling for the past 14-15 years that I really missed out on the life I wanted for myself because of that one choice I made to keep my son.

Wow, thank you for sharing your story.  And thank you even more for loving your son and caring for him, despite the fact he wasn't part of the plan.

Hopefully once he's done with high school you can go on to bigger and better things, in a better place.

#30 metallithrax

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 02:16 PM

Knew from in my teens that I didn't want any kids.  Some people would say "What if you meet someone who wants kids?".  My answer "Tough shit, better find someone else then".

#31 troutman

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 02:41 PM

View Postx1yyz, on 11 August 2014 - 07:26 PM, said:

Have you chosen to not have children?  (This goes for men as well as women, since it takes two to tango.)  If so, how old were you when you made that choice?  Was it difficult?

I've known ever since I was a child that I never wanted kids.  I just never had the biological or emotional drive to do so.  I've heard friends talking about how much they wanted kids and I find it interesting just how foreign that concept is to me, like telling a fish you want to learn about driving a car.

Are there others here who feel the same way?

Hey,

I know how to drive. :P

Seriously though, I respect your decision. You are very responsible and decided it wasn't for you. It's like pets, a lot of people get pets only to find out it was the wrong thing to do. The animal gets abused or neglected, sent to a shelter or worse.

#32 KennyLee

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

#33 troutman

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

#34 apetersvt

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 04:24 PM

Growing up, I was thinking that I wanted to have kids.  But certainly wanted to get married first, settle down, see the world, etc.. and then have kids.  But, at the age of 24, I got my girlfriend pregnant.  At the time, I was hoping she would get an abortion, but I knew it was her decision and I would support her.  So, we got the shotgun wedding and then the greatest thing in my life happened.  The birth of my oldest sweetie changed my life for the best.  Almost overnight, I matured and became a man.

Fast forward 17 years, several kids later, and a divorce, my kids are my heart and soul.  If they would only listen to good music.

#35 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 05:25 PM

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

I wouldn't even be able to have a pet. Think it's settled then, no kids for me :D

#36 troutman

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 05:32 PM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:25 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

I wouldn't even be able to have a pet. Think it's settled then, no kids for me :D

Why no pets/kids?

Is it where you live? Either way, at least your making a choice that is responsible.

#37 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 05:36 PM

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 05:32 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:25 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

I wouldn't even be able to have a pet. Think it's settled then, no kids for me :D

Why no pets/kids?

Is it where you live? Either way, at least your making a choice that is responsible.

Kids, because I have too much unsolved.
Dogs, because I'd have to feed them and walk them.

Posted Image

Edit: I love kids and animals, but I want my life to be about me and not them :)

Edited by The Analog Grownup, 12 August 2014 - 05:37 PM.


#38 troutman

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 05:48 PM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:36 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 05:32 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:25 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

I wouldn't even be able to have a pet. Think it's settled then, no kids for me :D

Why no pets/kids?

Is it where you live? Either way, at least your making a choice that is responsible.

Kids, because I have too much unsolved.
Dogs, because I'd have to feed them and walk them.

Posted Image

Edit: I love kids and animals, but I want my life to be about me and not them :)

Honest selfishness,

I love it!! :lol: :7up: :haz:

#39 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 06:05 PM

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 05:48 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:36 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 05:32 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:25 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

I wouldn't even be able to have a pet. Think it's settled then, no kids for me :D

Why no pets/kids?

Is it where you live? Either way, at least your making a choice that is responsible.

Kids, because I have too much unsolved.
Dogs, because I'd have to feed them and walk them.

Posted Image

Edit: I love kids and animals, but I want my life to be about me and not them :)

Honest selfishness,

I love it!! :lol: :7up: :haz:

You need a little selfishness every now and then*

*I reserve the right to change my position along the way ;)

#40 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 08:06 PM

I thought I never wanted children, or even wanted to marry, until I unexpectedly met the man who I sincerely believe is my soulmate. I will say, they certainly were worth the wait, and I am so glad I never committed suicide. I have attempted to end my life several times, actually, and the tragic loss of Robin Williams is proof that suicide isn’t the answer. You may believe your entire world has come crashing down before you, especially if you are already struggling with depression, or another health related obstacle. I have been there, many, many times. I promise you, this is not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter. I never would have met the love of my life, or finally attained another job. Who knows what the future holds, you know? I was just hired today, after searching for years. Best word of advice - don’t give up, no matter what. I thought my life would forever be a miserable existence, but I was terribly wrong. Anything can happen, right? I have no intention of changing the topic, but I wanted to share what was on my mind today.





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