Tom Sawyer Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I should know, I'm one of them. Hey, it's not a dirty word, y'know. You can dress us up, we can be charmers, sweet, sensative, lovingly respectful, but we are still PIGS! It just had to be said. I for one will not live in denial anymore!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 QUOTE (pinkfloyd1973 @ Feb 28 2007, 02:09 AM)I should know, I'm one of them. Hey, it's not a dirty word, y'know. You can dress us up, we can be charmers, sweet, sensative, lovingly respectful, but we are still PIGS! It just had to be said. I for one will not live in denial anymore!! Admitting such a thing (no matter how true it is) will not score you points in this forum. But just in case it does earn points...I'm a pig too. To pigs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesweetscience Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Rush Women are not stupid. There is no need to state the obvious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Crawlers !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 So true No Extra points from me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/cartoons%20and%20fun/H59.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tick Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 i refuse to admit im a pig. whats the next thing above pig ? im that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 "Advice for office managers: If you keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer, then when a woman goes to get one out you'll get a great view of her ass." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Aubrey Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 According to my wife, I am definitely not a pig! She says I have transcended pig and gone straight to ogre! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolinda Bonz Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Well, the ones I just had to scold because they made a mess of the conference room are. Sheesh. Listen, if y'all don't start cleaning up after yourselves, you're not getting any more donuts for your meetings... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madra sneachta Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Here's an old classic that I'm sure has been posted somewhere on the board before, but it's well worth another shot. There's no doubt in my mind this is made up and never actually happened. It would be cool if it did though...... Tandem Story Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" reportedly offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment. The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was turned in by two of his English students, Rebecca and Gary. THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. (second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. (Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent. (Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" (Rebecca) As*h@le. (Gary) B*tch! (Rebecca) F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!! (Gary) In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. (TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 oh,thank you--that's just brilliant!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Q: Why do men like love at first sight? A: It saves them a lot of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sullysue Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Q: What is a man's idea of foreplay? A: A half-hour of begging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owlswing Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 QUOTE (sullysue @ Mar 1 2007, 05:40 PM) THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 One afternoon, Harry Harrington walks into his supervisor's office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Harry," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Harry. "I knew I could count on you!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 i wonder how long it will be before asian rush fan chimes in???? just sayin'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arleen2112 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Mar 2 2007, 09:32 AM)i wonder how long it will be before asian rush fan chimes in???? just sayin'... I was just thinking the same thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 QUOTE (Arleen2112 @ Mar 2 2007, 08:34 AM) QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Mar 2 2007, 09:32 AM)i wonder how long it will be before asian rush fan chimes in???? just sayin'... I was just thinking the same thing Me three Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it-- only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.