I'm so done. I've had it.

[Cyclonus X-1]

You should find something else that will give you some peace.. like meditation, writing (as you mentioned before) yoga, going for a walk in nature... just something that allows you to unwind.

 

These are good suggestions whether you go with meds or not.

Agreed. I believe everyone needs something. Something that is theirs to have and to hold on too. Whether it be a hobby, knitting a sport or whatever. An outlet to blow off steam or to relax and to forget about the seriousness of it all. That's pretty much what I've done throughout my life anyway.... :)

Couldn't agree more. This is why I exercise. I run daily and it's the best medicine for me. I get to pound all of my frustrations out into the pavement. I used to paint and write to get things out. The point is, as others have pointed out, that there are alternatives to being medicated.

:cheers: I believe I once heard it called a "distraction". That's why many people are into sports fandom so much too. My two vices at this point are working out of course and this forum. Mind and body are both covered.... :)

 

You guys are right on. My morning workout is one of my favorite parts of the day. It's such a productive way of channeling angry or nervous energy, and it's relieving at the same time.

Then you can throw on your flannel and grab the guitar.... :dweez:

 

HAHA yes, the guitar part at least. Man, I should buy some new flannel shirts and tear up my jeans... relive the grunge years. :D

 

And Narpet brings up yet another good method to relieve stress: play an instrument!

[Narps]

You should find something else that will give you some peace.. like meditation, writing (as you mentioned before) yoga, going for a walk in nature... just something that allows you to unwind.

 

These are good suggestions whether you go with meds or not.

Agreed. I believe everyone needs something. Something that is theirs to have and to hold on too. Whether it be a hobby, knitting a sport or whatever. An outlet to blow off steam or to relax and to forget about the seriousness of it all. That's pretty much what I've done throughout my life anyway.... :)

Couldn't agree more. This is why I exercise. I run daily and it's the best medicine for me. I get to pound all of my frustrations out into the pavement. I used to paint and write to get things out. The point is, as others have pointed out, that there are alternatives to being medicated.

:cheers: I believe I once heard it called a "distraction". That's why many people are into sports fandom so much too. My two vices at this point are working out of course and this forum. Mind and body are both covered.... :)

 

You guys are right on. My morning workout is one of my favorite parts of the day. It's such a productive way of channeling angry or nervous energy, and it's relieving at the same time.

Then you can throw on your flannel and grab the guitar.... :dweez:

 

HAHA yes, the guitar part at least. Man, I should buy some new flannel shirts and tear up my jeans... relive the grunge years. :D

 

And Narpet brings up yet another good method to relieve stress: play an instrument!

Sounds like Janie has all the bases covered now aye ?

[hobo73]

My older brother and his girlfriend want me to move in with them. It's in my plans.

brother might have a job lined up for me- he said if it works out, I can use their extra bedroom and save up for my own place. one bedroom places arent too expensive around here- I'd need at least one room for visits with Lucy.

 

Jeff tried to keep me from visiting my brother (Justin) this morning and told Lucy what a cheat and lying thief he was (no he isn't).

I still went. screw that noise.

I finally got to talk about all this in person with someone I trust. he's beyond furious and wants me out. I told him I want to leave. things were good for a bit but went right back.

 

Jeff told me he must approve any new job I get, and create my availability. I said again- we'll put lucy in daycare. he said he won't help with the 17 page application.

He told me to dig around and find info on his total income- when I said it wasn't my job he told me over the phone "Then it won't get done. Thanks a lot. f**k you." and hung up on me.

 

I can almost taste the freedom in my future.

[hobo73]

OH- and since Jeff refuses to teach me how to drive, they'll teach me. just another way for him to keep me in the home like a good little housewife.

[hobo73]

Just got bitched out again for every little thing. I can't wait to leave. I'm about to either scream or punch this asshole right in the face.

[Alsgalpal]

Hobo, you need to catch me up if you can. :(

[Chronos]

:(

[hobo73]

No need to be sad ;) I've got a bright new future. I'm leaving when I have stuff in order. I refuse to be treated like this any longer. I deserve better. Damn right I do. I am done.

He just tried hugging me and I slapped him away. I want him off of me. Now.

 

Alsgalpal....it's just been crap lately. He treats me like a stupid little girl. We're no longer a team. He breaks me down and, I admit....he's gotten physical. I don't deserve it. I'm done.

My grandma would be crying if she were still alive to hear how I'm being treated. She told me to never accept abuse in a relationship, and I won't any longer.

He'll miss me when I'm gone.

[Alsgalpal]

No need to be sad ;) I've got a bright new future. I'm leaving when I have stuff in order. I refuse to be treated like this any longer. I deserve better. Damn right I do. I am done.

He just tried hugging me and I slapped him away. I want him off of me. Now.

 

Alsgalpal....it's just been crap lately. He treats me like a stupid little girl. We're no longer a team. He breaks me down and, I admit....he's gotten physical. I don't deserve it. I'm done.

My grandma would be crying if she were still alive to hear how I'm being treated. She told me to never accept abuse in a relationship, and I won't any longer.

He'll miss me when I'm gone.

 

Yes, he will. But, DON'T EVER GO BACK. They will kick, scream, cry and beg that they've learned their lesson. It never sticks. Stick to your guns.

[Narps]

Don't settle ladies. Alone sounds like it would be a better option.....

[Mara]

Hobo, please be careful. Emotional abuse frequently escalates into physical abuse. The most dangerous time for you will be when you are leaving. Grab some big male friends to go with you when you move out. If the police will agree to accompany you, even better.

 

Document EVERYTHING from this point on. Every verbal attack, shove, EVERYTHING. Find out what you'll need to get a restraining order and get one. If he violates it, report him.

 

I am serious. He sounds like a grenade with a pin 3/4 of the way out.

[Janie]

No need to be sad ;) I've got a bright new future. I'm leaving when I have stuff in order. I refuse to be treated like this any longer. I deserve better. Damn right I do. I am done.

He just tried hugging me and I slapped him away. I want him off of me. Now.

Good for you! No one needs this in their life.

[Mara]

Also - is he the type to snoop on your internet usage? Just saying. PLEASE - your safety and Lucy's is the only important thing here.

[hobo73]

I am at my brothers. It's just now midnight....

I called him in hysterics as Jeff clawed at me, burst through the door and threw me to the ground.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and did not stop.

He and his gf called the cops- 3 of them came in and just circled Jeff, glaring.

My baby girl screamed that she needed me....I feel like the shittiest mother alive. My hearts torn into pieces.

 

Jeff begged me to stay but I had to leave. His dad came in and scooped my baby girl up. Jeff didn't care that she saw it all.

I can't do this. I can't be treated this way.

 

And how did it all start? A freaking child care application. He flipped out and that was that.

 

My marriage is over. I don't have a husband. I have a bully. I miss my baby girl so much and can't stop crying.

I'll go back in the morning. He will be given an ultimatum but I'll tell him he basically needs to jump through hoops of fire to convince me to stay.

He won't change.

 

[Maverick]

I am at my brothers. It's just now midnight....

I called him in hysterics as Jeff clawed at me, burst through the door and threw me to the ground.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and did not stop.

He and his gf called the cops- 3 of them came in and just circled Jeff, glaring.

My baby girl screamed that she needed me....I feel like the shittiest mother alive. My hearts torn into pieces.

 

Jeff begged me to stay but I had to leave. His dad came in and scooped my baby girl up. Jeff didn't care that she saw it all.

I can't do this. I can't be treated this way.

 

And how did it all start? A freaking child care application. He flipped out and that was that.

 

My marriage is over. I don't have a husband. I have a bully. I miss my baby girl so much and can't stop crying.

I'll go back in the morning. He will be given an ultimatum but I'll tell him he basically needs to jump through hoops of fire to convince me to stay.

He won't change.

 

He could still convince you to stay?

[Dscrapre]

I am at my brothers. It's just now midnight....

I called him in hysterics as Jeff clawed at me, burst through the door and threw me to the ground.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and did not stop.

He and his gf called the cops- 3 of them came in and just circled Jeff, glaring.

My baby girl screamed that she needed me....I feel like the shittiest mother alive. My hearts torn into pieces.

 

Jeff begged me to stay but I had to leave. His dad came in and scooped my baby girl up. Jeff didn't care that she saw it all.

I can't do this. I can't be treated this way.

 

And how did it all start? A freaking child care application. He flipped out and that was that.

 

My marriage is over. I don't have a husband. I have a bully. I miss my baby girl so much and can't stop crying.

I'll go back in the morning. He will be given an ultimatum but I'll tell him he basically needs to jump through hoops of fire to convince me to stay.

He won't change.

 

He could still convince you to stay?

 

Please, for your own safety and the safety of your child, cut this man out of your life completely. No second third forth more chances. No hoops of fire. No nothing. Please. You deserve better than this.

[Babycat]

I am at my brothers. It's just now midnight....

I called him in hysterics as Jeff clawed at me, burst through the door and threw me to the ground.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and did not stop.

He and his gf called the cops- 3 of them came in and just circled Jeff, glaring.

My baby girl screamed that she needed me....I feel like the shittiest mother alive. My hearts torn into pieces.

 

Jeff begged me to stay but I had to leave. His dad came in and scooped my baby girl up. Jeff didn't care that she saw it all.

I can't do this. I can't be treated this way.

 

And how did it all start? A freaking child care application. He flipped out and that was that.

 

My marriage is over. I don't have a husband. I have a bully. I miss my baby girl so much and can't stop crying.

I'll go back in the morning. He will be given an ultimatum but I'll tell him he basically needs to jump through hoops of fire to convince me to stay.

He won't change.

 

He could still convince you to stay?

 

Please, for your own safety and the safety of your child, cut this man out of your life completely. No second third forth more chances. No hoops of fire. No nothing. Please. You deserve better than this.

 

You need to get yourself and your daughter away from him! You can't give him any more chances!

[nettiesaur]

In the morning, get your daughter a few necessities if you have time, and leave.

 

You are not safe!

[hobo73]

Sorry- I meant, in other words, I'm not coming back. I woke up to a barrage of texts saying get your stuff and leave. So I will.

[Motorshooter]

It'll be hard, but you'll make it. These may seem like the dark times, but you'll make it. Your a good mother, a good person and you'll make it!!! Count on your friends and close family...you'll be OK

[Ya_Big_Tree]

Start your new year off on the right foot... away from abusive mean assholes.

 

You're gonna be alright kid.

 

:)

[Mara]

Sorry- I meant, in other words, I'm not coming back. I woke up to a barrage of texts saying get your stuff and leave. So I will.

 

Good girl. :) Proud of you.

 

And I am sure you know this already, but lawyer, now. Check with the networks in your area dedicated to helping abused women who cannot necessarily afford the $700/hour divorce attorney, or even the $25 one. They can help you find someone good who you can afford.

 

Because he is going to fight you on the custody aspect because it is the one area where he knows you're most vulnerable. Assholes like this will use your child to get to you.

Edited December 31, 2013 by Mara

[gangsterfurious]

I am at my brothers. It's just now midnight....

I called him in hysterics as Jeff clawed at me, burst through the door and threw me to the ground.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and did not stop.

He and his gf called the cops- 3 of them came in and just circled Jeff, glaring.

My baby girl screamed that she needed me....I feel like the shittiest mother alive. My hearts torn into pieces.

 

Jeff begged me to stay but I had to leave. His dad came in and scooped my baby girl up. Jeff didn't care that she saw it all.

I can't do this. I can't be treated this way.

 

And how did it all start? A freaking child care application. He flipped out and that was that.

 

My marriage is over. I don't have a husband. I have a bully. I miss my baby girl so much and can't stop crying.

I'll go back in the morning. He will be given an ultimatum but I'll tell him he basically needs to jump through hoops of fire to convince me to stay.

He won't change.

 

He could still convince you to stay?

 

NO NO NO NO NO

 

This is just the beginning! Here's how domestic abusive relationship ends. You either leave while you can or one of you will NOT get out alive. I'm giving you statistics from domestic abuse counselors that I studied with during a project for my Sociology class. Those are the stats, get the hell out or you die because he goes too far or he dies while you're trying to defend yourself against him.

[crimsonfrippy]

Get away from him and don't look back. For your sake and your daughter's. Touch base when you can tomorrow so we know you are safe.

[hobo73]

I'm ok :) thanks everyone

I'm staying with my brother ATM, back n forth because of Lucy. He dumped a brand new bottle of vodka down the drain and hasn't smoked since that night. he said he understands my choice but wants to see if he can change for the better while I'm gone.

If he does, that would be great- his mom can't even look at me after we both bitched her out (for going out of her way to insult me day after day after day for almost 2 months), but his dad got teary eyed telling me how much he loved me.

 

I just need to clear my mind, figure out the arrangements and focus on ME.