Men!

[Trance]

QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Oct 29 2006, 01:21 AM)

QUOTE (Trance @ Oct 28 2006, 09:46 PM) QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Oct 29 2006, 12:30 AM) QUOTE (Trance @ Oct 28 2006, 09:13 PM) QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Oct 29 2006, 12:05 AM) QUOTE (Trance @ Oct 28 2006, 09:03 PM) ARGH.................................... +1 +1000         The does not listen. the is stoopid They always say to trust the though, don't they? ye, but that's fuckled up It is quite the predicament

[the masked drummer]

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Jun 5 2005, 07:23 PM)

Ok dont want everyone to think this is for man bashing just a few lil chuckles we can add here an there about them CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS - REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY July 1. NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM. Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 to 2:00 PM. Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. (Note: this class meets at O'Malley's Brew Pub on 16th Street) Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM. Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours. Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing. Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours. Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Althought I think i only fail at about 3-4 of these items, you women LOVE the fact that we're deficient in many of these areas. That's what makes you feel superior to males. It gives you power, and more importantly, a reason to disrespect us at any given moment. I mean how could we live without someone always putting down the toilet seat?

I must say that I always have a nice stockpile of ice in my freezer, though. There might not be much else in there at times(bachelor syndrome) but there is always a pile of ice in my ice bin (which costs $1 to $3, c'mon guys) AND full trays... If your guy leaves like 1 or 2 cubes in an effort to save 7 seconds and screw the next ice-needer, then it's time for an upgrade or a divorce. Seriously...

[ladirushfan80]

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

 

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half

wild,naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

 

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade

especially for someone with cash.

 

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her

own beauty.

 

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm

and desirable place to visit.

 

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war-haunted by past

mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

 

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are

un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

 

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all

conquering past but alas, no future.

 

After 70, they become Afghanistan. Almost everyone knows where it is, but

no one wants to go there.

 

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

 

Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick.

[Digital Man]

NICE

 

 

 

 

[chaotica]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Nov 7 2006, 06:37 AM)

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild,naturally beautiful with fertile deltas. Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently ageing but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war-haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future. After 70, they become Afghanistan. Almost everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there. GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick.

[Asian Rush Fan]

ha ha Donna. but without us, you'd be listening to Kelly Clarkson, Madonna, Paris Hilton. It's men who create darling, unless you're calling the boys girls

[Trance]

QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Nov 7 2006, 02:11 PM)

It's men who create darling,

Tell that to all the influential females in history who've invented things that you use everyday

[daveyt]

QUOTE (Trance @ Nov 7 2006, 05:00 PM)

QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Nov 7 2006, 02:11 PM) It's men who create darling, Tell that to all the influential females in history who've invented things that you use everyday if they were good looking, maybe we would

[Cygnus]

FEMALE POEM

I want a man that''s handsome, smart and strong

 

One who loves to listen long.

 

 

One who thinks before he speaks,

 

One who''ll call, not wait for weeks.

 

 

I want him to be gainfully employed,

 

And when I spend his cash, he not be annoyed.

 

 

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

 

Massages my back and begs to do more.

 

 

Oh! For a man that makes love to my mind, and knows what to

 

answer to "how big is my behind!"

 

 

I want this man to love me to no end,

 

And always be my very best friend.

 

MALE POEM

 

 

I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs

 

Who owns a liquor store and a bass boat

 

I know this doesn''t rhyme and I don''t give a shit.

 

[Cygnus]

When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household there was only one man.

 

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves! I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him.

 

God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

 

The man replied, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

 

 

[Daylin]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Nov 13 2006, 09:56 AM)

When everyone on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line is for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter." Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household there was only one man. God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves! I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him. God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?" The man replied, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

[DonnaWanna]

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9435/238vz8.jpg

[ladirushfan80]

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Nov 14 2006, 12:56 AM)

http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9435/238vz8.jpg

[Daylin]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Nov 14 2006, 05:37 AM)

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Nov 14 2006, 12:56 AM) http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9435/238vz8.jpg

[blonde77th]

Men's answer to Maxine

 

 

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows

Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men fart more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

Build up the required pressure.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes

A woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men until they can

Walk down the street with a bald head and a beer

Gut, and still think they are sexy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and

To the select few women who can handle the truth !

 

 

AND MAXINE SAYS.....

 

 

http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h173/blonde77th/cid_002701c709ed0f8c2390d6d52648hal.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Daylin]

^^^^^

[Rolinda Bonz]

[porthleven's rose]

woohoo!!! Nice!!

[CeeJ]

TOP TEN LIST OF PUT DOWNS TO MEN

 

1. Please don't talk to my breasts. You won't be meeting them.

 

2. If you want to control someone, sleep with your remote.

 

3. I always choose chocolate over men. ALWAYS

 

4. 51% love goddess...49% bitch. Care to push your luck?

 

5. My sexual preference is NO

 

6. My body is my temple, now get on your knees and pray.

 

7. It's not the size that counts, it's...no, wait, size does count.

 

8. Remember men, girls are made of sugar, spice and everything nice.

 

9. Men are like hardwood floors, lay them right the first time and you

can walk all over them forever.

 

10. Save your breath for you inflatable date

[blonde77th]

[fendergirl4001]

Hey all, sorry I have not benn around in a while, had to get my life and priorities figured out.

[failte]

[Cygnus]

[ladirushfan80]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Nov 28 2006, 02:03 PM)

A Mans Favorite Tool

 

 

 

 

 

typical...

[Asian Rush Fan]

QUOTE (blonde77th @ Nov 16 2006, 07:50 PM)

Men's answer to Maxine Men strike back! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to Build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes A woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can Walk down the street with a bald head and a beer Gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and To the select few women who can handle the truth ! AND MAXINE SAYS..... http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h173/blonde77th/cid_002701c709ed0f8c2390d6d52648hal.jpg

Bwahahahaha