Asian Rush Fan Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Oh yeah, without men, there would be no Geddy, Alex or Neil. Hey, you can always listen to chick bands like: J-Lo, Paris Hilton, Janet Jackson, K-Fed, Madonna, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Nov 28 2006, 02:03 PM) A Mans Favorite Tool So true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Nov 28 2006, 07:00 PM) Oh yeah, without men, there would be no Geddy, Alex or Neil. Hey, you can always listen to chick bands like: J-Lo, Paris Hilton, Janet Jackson, K-Fed, Madonna, well..i for one.... like to listen to and enjoy Janet Jackson's music and Madonna's music... i was just listening to both of them just the other day.....and have been listening to them for years..... the other's can go to hell tho.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?" The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!" "Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" "Sure," the man said, "I love to drink." "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!" The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great." "You a smoker?" the demon asked. "You better believe it!" "You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! . If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?" "Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!" The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do" "Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?" The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ." "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!" "Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" The demon said, "You gay?" "No." "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 WOMAN'S POEM Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. MAN'S POEM I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big boobs who owns a liquor store, a golf course, and a hardware store. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a rat's ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 ^^^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Dec 5 2006, 11:24 AM) One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?" The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!" "Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?" "Sure," the man said, "I love to drink." "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!" The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great." "You a smoker?" the demon asked. "You better believe it!" "You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! . If you get cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?" "Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!" The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble." "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do" "Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?" The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . ." "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!" "Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" The demon said, "You gay?" "No." "Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Dec 5 2006, 04:24 PM) WOMAN'S POEM Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. MAN'S POEM I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big boobs who owns a liquor store, a golf course, and a hardware store. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a rat's ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slime Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/p/fasttalk.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 that is so like something sweet would do!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian Rush Fan Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 That's fun! I should try that That is so funny!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 FUNERAL PROCESSION: (DON'T SKIP THE PRAYER AT THE END...ITS PRICELESS!) A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss", I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My husband's." "What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?" "Get in line." A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromancer Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 I'm reporting this thread. It's just WRONG!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Dec 9 2006, 07:05 AM) FUNERAL PROCESSION: (DON'T SKIP THE PRAYER AT THE END...ITS PRICELESS!) A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss", I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My husband's." "What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?" "Get in line." A Woman's Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/malebrain.gif the male brain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian Rush Fan Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/malebrain.gif the male brain At least it's with women. Imagine a world without men? No child support No alimony No babies No one to pay your gas bill No one to pay your cable bill No Oprah No one to clean the dog poop No one to nag (that's a dream come true) No one to take your trash out No one to kill that spider No one to feed the dog No one to lift the heavy objects No skinny women No washing clothe And worst of all? NO GEDDY, ALEX AND NEIL!!! Cuz they would be with us...da boyz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 agreed about the members of Rush----- BUT,any women living on her own can wipe the floor with your list!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trance Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 (edited) QUOTE (porthleven's rose @ Dec 11 2006, 01:50 PM) agreed about the members of Rush----- BUT,any women living on her own can wipe the floor with your list!!!!! +100. I love the part about how there would be no Oprah without men. I could care less about Oprah, but last time I checked she was a woman Also, that's pretty 1920's of him to assume that women need a man to pay the bills. . . f**k that. Edited December 12, 2006 by Trance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 QUOTE (Trance @ Dec 11 2006, 01:32 PM) QUOTE (porthleven's rose @ Dec 11 2006, 01:50 PM) agreed about the members of Rush----- BUT,any women living on her own can wipe the floor with your list!!!!! +100. I love the part about how there would be no Oprah without men. I couldn't care less about Oprah, but last time I checked she was a woman Also, that's pretty 1920's of him to assume that women need a man to pay the bills. . . f**k that. i don't need a man for any of the things listed. real women don't need men to support them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Yeah--someone's living in the past there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 In my experience, it's the woman of the house who handles finances - my mother's a retired accountant/office manager and my father, the retired engineer, can only balance a checkbook if it's in binary or octal... And yeah, when she was working - she made more than he did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/2042.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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