Presto-a RUSH fan! Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Spoiler...I don't think "spoiler" alerts are needed. Even if you have never seen this movie, knowing the quotes won't make it less funny or blow anything!!! and the fact that it has been out for over 25 yrs. (glad I straightened that out for all you spoiler haters!) Inspired by the "funniest movie I have ever seen" thread, it seems many people are Fletch lovers. I thought that Fletch deserved it's own "favorite quote thread". Let's try to just put one per post, just so more people can chime in and the post will grow! Of course I know I will add more posts/quote probably at least one per day! Here is mine, I already put it on the funniest movie thread, but I will start off with: "What the hell you need ball bearings for? Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State." PS. I am so much of a Fletch fan, and love that name, that I have named 3 of my cat's thru the years, The honorable Fletch the first, Fletch, the second, and finally, Fletch the third! (not all at the same time, sadly they never met each other <---Fletch the third is pictured in my avatar to the left! Of course he goes by Fletcher and many aliases, but that is for another thread...ok, maybe not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unattractive Truth Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I'll repost mine from the other thread: "Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presto-digitation Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 "I hate Tommy Lasorda." "Oh you've remodeled the garage. Must've cost you hundreds." "Ever seen a spleen that large?" "Not since breakfast." "Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gompers Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 QUOTE (Presto-digitation @ Nov 29 2011, 10:33 AM) "I hate Tommy Lasorda." "Oh you've remodeled the garage. Must've cost you hundreds." "Ever seen a spleen that large?" "Not since breakfast." "Yeah, but I mean the very end, when he actually died. That was extremely sudden." I forgot how funny the one liners were in that flick. Teenager: Are you a cop? Fletch: As far as you know. Teenager: Are you gonna take me to jail for car theft? Fletch: Why? Did you steal the car? Teenager: I sure did. Fletch: Well, I'm not even sure that's a crime anymore. There've been a lot of changes in the law. Gail Stanwyck: What are you doing here? Fletch: I ordered some lunch. Gail Stanwyck: You ordered it here? Fletch: Well, I knew this is where my mouth would be. If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostworks Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 PARF, have you read the Fletch novels? Fletch (1974) Confess, Fletch (1976) Fletch's Fortune (1978) Fletch and the Widow Bradley (1981) Fletch's Moxie (1982) Fletch and the Man Who (1983) Carioca Fletch (1984) Fletch Won (1985) Fletch, Too (1986) Son of Fletch (1993) Fletch Reflected (1994) Gregory McDonald is a genius, and (most) of these are every bit as funny as the films Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostworks Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Fletch: ♪♪♫ Moon River... ♪♫♪ Whew...ever serve time, Doc? Dr Dolan: Breathe easy. Fletch: Yeah...breathe easy. Ah, using the whole fist, Doc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 (edited) Look, defenseles babies! Fell for the oldest trick in the book! I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I didn't want to have to do this. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses. If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards. God, I love Chevy's smart ass delivery of those lines. Edited November 29, 2011 by invisible airwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushman14 Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 I'm John Cocktoastin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unattractive Truth Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Fletch: "I saw Alan this morning and you know what I can't figure out?" Gail Stanwyck: "Alan's in Utah." Fletch: "I... can't figure out what I was doing in Utah this morning..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick N. Backer Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 QUOTE (Unattractive Truth @ Nov 29 2011, 01:35 PM)Fletch: "I saw Alan this morning and you know what I can't figure out?" Gail Stanwyck: "Alan's in Utah." Fletch: "I... can't figure out what I was doing in Utah this morning..." In addition to the "Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Oooweee. Yeah. Oh, I lost." I posted in the other thread, another of my favorites from this movie is "Look at her. She looks like a hooker. Could you love someone who looks like that? No, never. Five, ten minutes tops." Really, the harder job is coming up with lines that aren't funny. "You're not going to sing for us Sammy, are you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The K Man Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Come on, Frank, say yes; I'll buy you some new deodorant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostworks Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Alan Stanwyck: You do own rubber gloves? Fletch: I rent them. I have a lease, with an option to buy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostworks Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Dr. Dolan: How long have you been having these pains, Mr. Barber? Fletch: That's Babar. Dr. Dolan: Two 'B's? Fletch: One. B-A-B-A-R. Dr. Dolan: That's two! Fletch: Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant. Dr. Dolan: Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named 'Babar'? Fletch: I don't know. I don't have any. Dr. Dolan: No children? Fletch: No. Elephant books. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostworks Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Chief Karlin: After I shoot you, I stick myself with this knife... and place it in your dead hand. Self-defense! We don't do it much anymore, but back in the old days... Fletch: You're serious? Chief Karlin: Ask anybody. Fletch: Can I ask anybody now? Can I call my mom, tell her I love her? Chief Karlin: Uh... I guess not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghostworks Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 http://awesomebmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Fletch-1.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unattractive Truth Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 "God, I admire you..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cowtothesky Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Madeline: I'm sorry, who are you again? Fletch: I'm Frieda's boss. Madeline: Who's Frieda? Fletch: My secretary. "It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, and I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unattractive Truth Posted November 29, 2011 Share Posted November 29, 2011 Receptionist: Can I help you Dr...? Fletch: Oh it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file. Receptionist: Dr. who? Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, I just need to get to the records room. Receptionist: What was that name again? Fletch: It's Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room. Receptionist: Dr. who? Fletch: Dr. Rosen! Where's the records room!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presto-a RUSH fan! Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) QUOTE (ghostworks @ Nov 29 2011, 10:33 AM) PARF, have you read the Fletch novels? Fletch (1974) Confess, Fletch (1976) Fletch's Fortune (1978) Fletch and the Widow Bradley (1981) Fletch's Moxie (1982) Fletch and the Man Who (1983) Carioca Fletch (1984) Fletch Won (1985) Fletch, Too (1986) Son of Fletch (1993) Fletch Reflected (1994) Gregory McDonald is a genius, and (most) of these are every bit as funny as the films Damn, no. I had no idea. I read alot so I will have to check into those! Thanks! Edited to add this quote: Fat Sam: I got some reds. Fletch: You don't mean communists, do you, Sam? Edited November 30, 2011 by Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presto-a RUSH fan! Posted November 30, 2011 Author Share Posted November 30, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 30 2011, 02:40 AM) The whole movie is quotable from beginning to end! I was going to post that! It probably helped that I was a movie theater usher when it came out, but yeah, practically every scene had a quote worthy line or lines. An amazing percentage of great lines. "Well, the traffic was murder, you know. One of those manure spreaders jackknifed on the Santa Ana. Godawful mess. You should see my shoes. Wooh!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 QUOTE (ghostworks @ Nov 29 2011, 02:03 PM)http://awesomebmovies.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Fletch-1.jpg Stanton Boyd: What kind of a name is Poon? Fletch: Comanche Indian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisible airwave Posted November 30, 2011 Share Posted November 30, 2011 Fletch: Well, there we're in kind of a "grey" area. Frank Walker: How grey? Fletch: Charcoal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Presto-a RUSH fan! Posted December 1, 2011 Author Share Posted December 1, 2011 Gail Stanwyk: I didn't know you knew the Underhills. Fletch: Yeah, well, I saved his life during the war. Gail Stanwyk: You were in the war? Fletch: No, he was. I got him out. Even the last line of the film: Fletch: When it came to basketball Gail was a loss, but we had our own version of one-on-one and she thought I was the bravest guy in the world. Which, of course, I am. By the way, I charged the entire vacation to Mr. Underhill's American Express Card. Want the number? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt starman Posted February 11, 2012 Share Posted February 11, 2012 (edited) I was always a Fletch fan. Thanks for posting up the quotes, I'm typing with tears in my eyes from laughing. Edited February 11, 2012 by Capt starman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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