failte Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 thanks!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 QUOTE (failte @ Nov 16 2006, 04:41 PM) this is my first post on nww, i've been reading the posts and live chats over my husband thesweetscience's shoulder for the past couple of weeks and decided to join. i've been reading all kinds of threads on this forum and have been enjoying myself immensly all of you are just like a big family (one that seems to get along more than some families....) i'm glad i'm here Welcome to TRF! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnalschick Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 QUOTE (failte @ Nov 16 2006, 03:41 PM) this is my first post on nww, i've been reading the posts and live chats over my husband thesweetscience's shoulder for the past couple of weeks and decided to join. i've been reading all kinds of threads on this forum and have been enjoying myself immensly all of you are just like a big family (one that seems to get along more than some families....) i'm glad i'm here Yes we are a family --> a very happy one at that! Welcome to the TRF family failte! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 QUOTE (failte @ Nov 16 2006, 04:41 PM) this is my first post on nww, i've been reading the posts and live chats over my husband thesweetscience's shoulder for the past couple of weeks and decided to join. i've been reading all kinds of threads on this forum and have been enjoying myself immensly all of you are just like a big family (one that seems to get along more than some families....) i'm glad i'm here welcome to the BEST RUSH message board around!! i know you come to love it as much as WE do.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Welcome to the board sit back relax and have a lot of laughs failte!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud, "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: ...so that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy and more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say; it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me, a person who is in pain because of my self‑centered, schoolgirl, romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a darn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their... "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh my, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. "It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says. (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger. "Yes." (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.) The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 ^^^^ So true to life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I'm sure none of us on here would do that---would we? (smirks guiltily!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maddy Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 The last time a six-month anniversary would have been an issue for me, Bill Clinton hadn't even been elected to a second term... And that one would have immediately accused me of being "bourgeois" just to get a present out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushfanNlv Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Those are perfect. Thanks. I'm passing a copy out to all the women in my office. I'm sure all of their husbands will all be thanking me at the christmas party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 Why Mommy Left Us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesweetscience Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Nov 20 2006, 01:02 PM) Why Mommy Left Us Steven Lynch is hysterical! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Too Funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arleen2112 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old ladies said, "We bet we can tell how old you are." The old man said "there ain't no way you can guess it". One of the old ladies said: "Sure we can. Drop your pants!" He did. The old ladies stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!" The old man was stunned. "Amazing. How did you guess that?" The old ladies, laughed and slapped their knees, "You told us yesterday". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovin'rush Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 That was a good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Dec 7 2006, 03:36 PM) The Secretarys A*ssss I didn't expect that...at all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolinda Bonz Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 QUOTE (Arleen2112 @ Dec 6 2006, 12:19 PM) Three old ladies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. About then an old man walked by, and one of the old ladies said, "We bet we can tell how old you are." The old man said "there ain't no way you can guess it". One of the old ladies said: "Sure we can. Drop your pants!" He did. The old ladies stared at him for a while and then they all piped up and said, "You're 84 years old!" The old man was stunned. "Amazing. How did you guess that?" The old ladies, laughed and slapped their knees, "You told us yesterday". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Dec 10 2006, 07:20 AM) A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there? The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry." This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
failte Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Kidnapped Wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afurrything Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Oh this is some funny stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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