Rhiannon_of_Rivendell Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Lakeside Maiden and I lost our incredible grandmother on Monday. Ladies; she was always the one in charge (In a loving way) took no crap from anyone; was ALWAYS there when you needed her for a hug, a shoulder or a swift kick if you needed that too. CAn any of you offer any ways to help us to cope? Anything you've done when you've lost someone and the only one who can help you handle this kind of loss, is the oNE you've lost? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edie Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 QUOTE (Rhiannon_of_Rivendell @ Dec 16 2009, 05:55 PM) Lakeside Maiden and I lost our incredible grandmother on Monday. Ladies; she was always the one in charge (In a loving way) took no crap from anyone; was ALWAYS there when you needed her for a hug, a shoulder or a swift kick if you needed that too. CAn any of you offer any ways to help us to cope? Anything you've done when you've lost someone and the only one who can help you handle this kind of loss, is the oNE you've lost? I am sorry for your loss. I don't know how you cope. I think you just muddle through and keep her part of your everyday life by always remembering and talking about her even though it makes you cry. I miss my Gram still, even though she died almost 18 years ago. You just adapt to loss, I think. You don't ever stop missing people you love. The only things I would say are * allow each other to grieve in her own way: you may not always be on the same page * try to celebrate your Grammy as much as you mourn her, and make a special effort to recall happy memories. At some point you will laugh more than you will cry. for you and LSM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VarianStar Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 First let me say how sorry I am for yours and LSM's loss. Everyone copes in different ways. When my boyfriend died, almost 6 years ago now, I was devastated. I was like you. He was the one who would know how to make it better. I was completely lost and almost angry that he left me all alone. What got me through it were some dear friends and, most importantly, the memories I had of him. When I was able to laugh and smile at a memory, I knew that I was beginning to heal. My advice would be to stay close to those who love you for right now. And really keep those good memories close to your heart. They help more than you know. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. Just know that you're not alone and you will get through this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I can't say it any better than edie and VarianStar. My thoughts will be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Test4VitalSigns Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 So sorry for your loss Tracy and Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen of Megadon Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Prayers to you both...I'm so sorry to hear such sad news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verena Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 QUOTE (Rhiannon_of_Rivendell @ Dec 16 2009, 01:55 PM) Lakeside Maiden and I lost our incredible grandmother on Monday. Ladies; she was always the one in charge (In a loving way) took no crap from anyone; was ALWAYS there when you needed her for a hug, a shoulder or a swift kick if you needed that too. CAn any of you offer any ways to help us to cope? Anything you've done when you've lost someone and the only one who can help you handle this kind of loss, is the oNE you've lost? I hope you both take care. When my grandmother died this year I could remember how she was, the good times by her side and how she was nice to us. I think it's all you both have now: the great moments and the grandma in your hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owlswing Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 This seems to be the year for the loss of GREAT women I am so sorry that your Grandmother has passed...she will always be a part of you. When you least expect it you'll receive that sign she is right at your side! May you fine woman R.I.P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundog Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My most sincere condolences to you and your family. My Grandmother passed away over 20 years ago, and I still think of her often, and pray for her guidance regularly. I believe that she is my guardian angel and that she sends me strength and patience when I am in most need. I know how hard it is. Sadly my boys lost their most cherished "Poppy" about a month ago and they have struggled with this enormous change, (amongst other enorous changes in their young lives) and there isn't any easy way to deal with any of it. You just do. Life goes on as it always does. And when you want to scream at people for being unkind or being thoughtless, you just have to remind yourself that they have no idea what you're going through right now. Mourning is shitty. Celebrate the life your Grandmother lived. Celebrate the example that she set for you and LSM. Celebrate the memories that you are so lucky to have. Celebrate the Love that you know she had for you. A love that only Grandmothers can give. And most importantly, Celebrate her. Share pictures, share stories, share hugs, share the love... She is in the room where her stories are being told, where her memory is celebrated and where her support is required. She'll send you a sign when you need her - you only have to look for it. Blessings to all of you in your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaotica Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 QUOTE (sundog @ Dec 16 2009, 07:08 PM) My most sincere condolences to you and your family. My Grandmother passed away over 20 years ago, and I still think of her often, and pray for her guidance regularly. I believe that she is my guardian angel and that she sends me strength and patience when I am in most need. I know how hard it is. Sadly my boys lost their most cherished "Poppy" about a month ago and they have struggled with this enormous change, (amongst other enorous changes in their young lives) and there isn't any easy way to deal with any of it. You just do. Life goes on as it always does. And when you want to scream at people for being unkind or being thoughtless, you just have to remind yourself that they have no idea what you're going through right now. Mourning is shitty. Celebrate the life your Grandmother lived. Celebrate the example that she set for you and LSM. Celebrate the memories that you are so lucky to have. Celebrate the Love that you know she had for you. A love that only Grandmothers can give. And most importantly, Celebrate her. Share pictures, share stories, share hugs, share the love... She is in the room where her stories are being told, where her memory is celebrated and where her support is required. She'll send you a sign when you need her - you only have to look for it. Blessings to all of you in your loss. Sunny couldn't say it any better and yes I miss her everyday but I know she is arouond me, I feel her from time to time and that is enough for me till I see her again... I am sorry for your loss Missy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhiannon_of_Rivendell Posted December 19, 2009 Author Share Posted December 19, 2009 Thank you to all who have responded. The past few days have been the hardest of my life. And as some of you know; we've had some rough ones. I thought nothing could compare with the house burning down (the one she was born in and that we grew up in) taking the lives of all my feathered & furry children. It just pales in comparison to this; she was everything that held us all together. You're all right; we'll keep the memories and talk about her all the time. It's hardest to see my nieces crying and the littlest one asking if we can take the elevator up to visit with "GiGi." That one pretty much put me on the floor. I've posted a number of photos of her and the family on Facebook so if I can figure out how to link the album here; I'll share with you all. Mary Josephine Young Procter 1912-2009 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v394/Rhiannon_of_Rivendell/Grammy%20-1912-2009/Tracy_n_Gram.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v394/Rhiannon_of_Rivendell/Grammy%20-1912-2009/Grammy_Procter.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 3 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users): LakesideMaiden, Der Trommler, Rhiannon_of_Rivendell RIP Grammy - I love and miss you so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Der Trommler Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 As bad as my memory is, I can recall in detail the day my dad died. One thing I noticed is how everyone handles the loss of a loved one differently. I love Gram. She is the only grandmother I knew. (My mother and father's parents passed before I turned 7 yrs old. I can't remember anything around that time) What helped me was listening to the funny stories my family had of my father as well as all the other family members. But that's what helped me. Each person is different. So, whatever you feel is working, go with it. Don't force it. So, here's a for you. I know it's a difficult time but hopefully the family will make it through. I will miss Gram terribly. :*( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MULTIPLIED REACTION Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Sorry for the loss Tracy and Kathy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 Sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goose Posted December 19, 2009 Share Posted December 19, 2009 QUOTE (edie @ Dec 16 2009, 01:32 PM) * try to celebrate your Grammy as much as you mourn her, and make a special effort to recall happy memories. At some point you will laugh more than you will cry. It warms my heart to think of how blessed you both are to have had such a wonderful person in your lives to guide you. I hope in time the feelings of grief will lessen, and the joy that your grandmother brought you will be what you remember most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v407/lakesidemaiden/InMemoriam.jpg A single perfect white rose, from one of the beautiful arrangements delivered to our grandmother's wake on Thursday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhiannon_of_Rivendell Posted December 21, 2009 Author Share Posted December 21, 2009 complete with tear... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBlonde Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 So very sorry for your loss... My father passed away almost 12 years ago after a 15 year battle with cancer. The pain never fully goes away, but it becomes easier to bear. Dad set the bar high during all of his years with cancer, never once thinking "why me" or feeling sorry for himself. Nine years ago when my sister was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 37, we all realized that the best way to honor Dad was to meet what we knew would have been his expectation of us. And that, I think, would be the best way to honor your grandmother. Yes, she was strong and always knew how to make things right. And you will just have to start doing the same. When you are faced with a challenge, think to yourself "What would Gigi do?" And then do it. She will be watching over you all and will feel pride that she instilled so much strength in you & LSM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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