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Tell a lie....


The Owl
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I approached Geddy for his autograph once at a Ponderosa restaurant and he just kicked me in the crotch...
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I live in a log cabin with a blind, one legged she-male.
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QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 18 2007, 01:26 PM)
Ged made a booty call to me last night.

I know...he used my cell phone because he couldn't get service in the area on his phone...I think he was just being lazy...

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QUOTE (billydonald9 @ Sep 18 2007, 01:29 PM)
QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 18 2007, 01:26 PM)
Ged made a booty call to me last night.

I know...he used my cell phone because he couldn't get service in the area on his phone...I think he was just being lazy...

No wonder I didn't recognize the number! rofl3.gif

 

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QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 18 2007, 03:11 PM)
QUOTE (billydonald9 @ Sep 18 2007, 01:29 PM)
QUOTE (iluvgeddy05 @ Sep 18 2007, 01:26 PM)
Ged made a booty call to me last night.

I know...he used my cell phone because he couldn't get service in the area on his phone...I think he was just being lazy...

No wonder I didn't recognize the number! rofl3.gif

Yeah, and then after he made the call, Geddy whacked me in the back of the head with my phone and walked away....Geddy is always so damn mean to me... no idea why...

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I'm not tired at all. I got plenty of sleep last night. I wasn't wound-up from the Rush gig, and so I went to sleep as soon as I got home and slept for hours. The gig itself was boring. Those guys are too old to rock. They should really retire, especially because Geddy's voice is shot and he can't sing worth a damn. He's totally wrecked his voice by not taking care of it, and he sounds awful. I don't like Geddy. And those guys he plays with suck too. They should take off, eh!
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I slept really well last night. And my boss was SO nice to me this morning, letting me check my email before doing anything "urgent". I'm so psyched to be here for 8 straight hours, and even more so that I have class from 7-10 tonight. SO glad I won't be home until; 10:30 at the earliest!
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The three foot lime green imp that lives in my stomach has a message for all of you (well, really for all of humanity, but for TRF people especially).

 

"I come from a race of beings that created your sun as easily as you would turn on a flashlight. For many years now your world has been in mortal peril from forces which I shall not elaborate upon here.

 

It is safe to say however that if you wish to survive the coming attack, preparations must be made now. I suggest the following steps be taken if you value your life and those you love:

 

1. From this point forward, do not cook your food on a stove or in a microwave. If you must eat hot foods, the only acceptable ones are toast, waffles and pop tarts; basically anything you can cook in a toaster.

 

2. Cease using the following words in sentences: "the", "how", "combustibles" or "Chevrolet". An example would be, "How did you fit the combustibles in the Chevrolet?" A sentence like this will surely mean a quick and painful death.

 

3. Have your two front teeth removed (if you still have them). It is crucial that you do this immediately.

 

4. The following sports should be avoided at all cost: bowling, ping pong, foosball and naked midget drag racing.

 

5. Start composing epic poems consisting of between 275 and 345 stanzas. The first stanza must include the lines "I will stand upon a puffy cloud and smite thee", "Eulogies for the brain dead were shouted through a megaphone", "The fresh mozzerella of days gone by" and "Like Helios halting his solar ascent to enjoy toast and marmalade with the wife".

 

6. Start sleeping shirtless on low-quality wood boards that give you multiple splinters nightly. Only have the splinters removed in sports stadiums or auditoriums that have a capacity of at least 3,000.

 

7. Read the Bhagavad Gita in its original form and understand at least 70% of what you read. Learn Sanskrit if you need to. You have 14 weeks to get this done.

 

8. Your left pinky is no longer necessary. Have it removed.

 

9. Hop on your left foot as much as humanly possible instead of the usual walking or running (crawling is acceptable). The only place where it is acceptable to not do this will be getting into and out of your car, using staircases and participating in 10K marathons.

 

10. Spend a great deal of time (2-3 hours per day) thinking about the name Oswald and how much you love that name. You don't actually have to love the name Oswald, but you have to think about it as if you do love the name, even if you don't."

 

 

 

Please forgive me if these edicts from my stomach imp (who's name, by the way, is Oswald) are inconvenient, but as it should be self-evident, they MUST be done if you wish to survive the coming onslaught. Please let everyone know.

 

 

*leaves to go to his Sanskrit class*

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the key to happiness, is a goat playing a violin.

 

The key to sucsess is a bumblebee on a treadmill.

 

the key to a door is a deer making cheese toasties.

 

The key to Geddy's front door is in my hand right now.

 

The key to understanding me, is simply : read all these words backwards and write every 5th letter. a message will appear. trust me. i made it. this post. i posted this post.

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i did not just figure out my own code, and this isnt my message:

 

seisiiuelaaeyedraohdysnewntgaioraytss gmaothmtemsuenvyaiioe

 

you cant find any other words in my jumble, can you? no i ddint think so. no.gif

Edited by Grapes_under_pressure
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