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Dear people who inhabit my corner of the world:

 

Henceforth, it will be a crime punishable by flogging to say, "Hi, how are you?" when you clearly do not WANT to know how I'm doing. It's not like you can't just say, "Hi," or "Good morning," you know. You act like you've invented a new word: hihowareyou.

 

We will, however, accept the following:

 

"Hi," or "Hello."

"Mornin'" (it's the south, y'all)

Or, alternatively, if you wish to stop and sincerely say, "How are things going?" that would be appreciated and warmly responded to.

 

Thank you.

~M

 

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Dear____________

 

Don't you think you're overdoing it? I mean sometimes it's TFM. Is it really necessary to be everywhere.

 

Losing patience.

 

Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dear _______

 

Your life is just SO great. When I first meant you in college, your parents bought and paid for your new car, and presumably your education. As soon as you graduated, you enrolled in two other profession-based schools and got your degrees but never mentioned paying for that (hmm). You also got married, had this elaborate wedding that in my opinion was tacky as sh!t (sorry, one party favor is enough, not SEVEN and the Elvis impersonator and chocolate fountains were just as bad). And if that weren't enough, somehow the small wages you and your husband were making afforded you a new house! (which I also presume your family is helping out with paying for). And now, you're thinking about having kids -- all before your 25. So I want to say how awesome it is that YOUR life is so great. And while your at it, think twice before offering me advice in my life, in particular my love life. Because I actually have to pay for my own stuff and can't get all the attention you do. Hey, nice Coach purse by the way, is it brand new??!!!

 

Glad we're friends..

 

Bitterly,

your sarcastic but working her a$$ off to even start my own life, friend.

 

 

P.S. that really felt good to get that out!

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Dear Math Exam,

 

Please don't give me too much trouble. I promise I will study really hard to finish you well. I will try not to leave any question blank: or with a sarcastic therefore statement, or very-detailed diagram to waste my time. It would be appreaciated if none of your application questions were hard to understand, such as the niagra falls-boat question no one understood on the last test.

 

Your math exam writer,

me.

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Dear Britney,

 

 

Please get bloody help before you kill yourself which you will.

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Dear _______;

 

I just had to let you know that your phone call ment so much to me the other night.

 

I was floored how something told you to call and not just send a message along though cyber space.

 

You reached me in such a state of comfortable numb but your compassion broke though and gave me such needed support.

 

Of all the things that have happened and come and gone this past year you have been the most treasured and I will forever value our friendship. wub.gif

 

heart.gif me

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Dear God, Allah, Buddha,

 

Could you please make it warm up? I'm tired of this shit.

 

http://www.weatheroffice.gc.ca/city/pages/...4_metric_e.html

 

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MEMO

 

TO: A Higher Office

CC: The Powers that Be

FROM: The Caretaker

DATE: January 31, 2008

RE: new_thumbsdownsmileyanim.gif

 

It has come to my attention that I have somehow inherited the dubious job of taking care of EVERYONE in my life. I would like to resign, at least from part of the job.

 

I would, however, like to apply for the position of caretake-ee. Let someone else do all the work for a while. I'm tapped out.

 

(P.S. Yes, I am aware that my resignation will not be accepted. Can't blame a gal for trying.)

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QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Jan 31 2008, 09:58 AM)
MEMO

TO: A Higher Office
CC: The Powers that Be
FROM: The Caretaker
DATE: January 31, 2008
RE:  new_thumbsdownsmileyanim.gif

It has come to my attention that I have somehow inherited the dubious job of taking care of EVERYONE in my life.  I would like to resign, at least from part of the job.

I would, however, like to apply for the position of caretake-ee.  Let someone else do all the work for a while.  I'm tapped out.

(P.S. Yes, I am aware that my resignation will not be accepted.  Can't blame a gal for trying.)

Memo

 

TO: The Caretaker

CC: The Powers that Be

FROM: A Higher Office

DATE: January 31, 2008

RE: new_thumbsdownsmileyanim.gif

 

 

Whilst we cannot allow you, The Caretaker to fully resign from your designated post, we can allow you a 15 minute vacation from life any time you feel you need it. Follow these instructions carefully to get the best benefits possible from your escapism retreat.

 

Repeat as desired:

 

Monitor time in 15 minute increments.

http://staticfree.info/projects/24h_clock/target_clock.jpg

 

Put all your worries in this trunk:

http://www.legacytrunks.com/images/Circa%201850s%20Gold%20Rush%20Stagecoach%20Trunk.jpg

 

Practice square breathing to gain maximum benefit:

 

Sit comfortably with your feet on the floor

 

Take a slow breath in through your nose while counting slowly to 3

 

Hold the breath in for another slow count of 3

 

Exhale through your mouth for a slow count of 3

 

Hold again for a slow count of 3

 

Repeat just 2-5 times

 

Now imagine your self here:

http://www.manchebo.com/graphics/spa-from-above.jpg

 

You're soaking in this:

http://www.differentworld.com/mexico-hotels/tides/images/spa.jpg

 

You step out to enjoy this:

http://www.theboulders.com/images/golden_spa_img.jpg

 

and then this:

http://www.suncadiaresort.com/images/masthead/spa.jpg

 

and once you feel completely relaxed, you can take your worries out of the box 1 at a time and deal with them as necessary. If too many slip out, allow them to slip out the door and get away leaving no trace of residue behind.

 

 

We need happy, healthy partners in life and a little vacation, even in your mind, can make a big difference.

 

When all else fails, here's a hug2.gif

 

Respectfully,

The Higher Office

 

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QUOTE (sundog @ Jan 31 2008, 10:22 AM)


Now imagine your self here:
http://www.manchebo.com/graphics/spa-from-above.jpg

You're soaking in this:
http://www.differentworld.com/mexico-hotels/tides/images/spa.jpg

You step out to enjoy this:
http://www.theboulders.com/images/golden_spa_img.jpg

and then this:
http://www.suncadiaresort.com/images/masthead/spa.jpg

OMG if only ohmy.gif

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Dear ____,

 

 

I know you're here. I don't appreciate you checking up.

 

 

I said I wanted nothing to do with you, and I mean it.

 

 

Your loss, buddy!

 

 

As ever,

Me

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QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Jan 30 2008, 10:11 PM)
Dear God, Allah, Buddha,

Could you please make it warm up? I'm tired of this shit.

http://www.weatheroffice.gc.ca/city/pages/...4_metric_e.html

Hey it worked.....it's 9 degrees warmer than when I posted this.

 

 

1022.gif

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QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Jan 31 2008, 05:42 PM)
QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Jan 30 2008, 10:11 PM)
Dear God, Allah, Buddha,

Could you please make it warm up? I'm tired of this shit.

http://www.weatheroffice.gc.ca/city/pages/...4_metric_e.html

Hey it worked.....it's 9 degrees warmer than when I posted this.

 

 

1022.gif

rofl3.gif

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Dear someone who f***ing cares,

 

Please help me change my life. I can't seem to do it alone.

I can't seem to make myself let go of those who don't care about me and I want to get out of my life. But at the same time, I can't stand them and how it effects my life.

I have cried myself to sleep more times than I can count in the last 3 or 4 months. More than that, I've wanted to take myself out of this world. I get so frustrated all the time. Even at hockey every week I can't put myself through an hour without breaking down on the bench because it continues to drive the point home that I am worthless and can't do anything right.

 

You know why I want to join the armed forces now?

Because then I'll f***ing do something worth it. Someone might actually appreaciate what the f**k I do. And more than that- I don't care if I die, so at least if I die there, on the field, it'll be "honorable".

("Join the army, if you fail")

 

I'm tired of this shit. f***ing tired of it.

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QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Jan 31 2008, 05:42 PM)
QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Jan 30 2008, 10:11 PM)
Dear God, Allah, Buddha,

Could you please make it warm up? I'm tired of this shit.

http://www.weatheroffice.gc.ca/city/pages/...4_metric_e.html

Hey it worked.....it's 9 degrees warmer than when I posted this.

 

 

1022.gif

are you in Wisconsin???????

 

first snow, then the freezer. Repeat for 6 months.

 

Dear__________________,

could spring come soon please???

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QUOTE (padfoot @ Jan 31 2008, 07:01 PM)
Dear someone who f***ing cares,

Please help me change my life. I can't seem to do it alone.
I can't seem to make myself let go of those who don't care about me and I want to get out of my life. But at the same time, I can't stand them and how it effects my life.
I have cried myself to sleep more times than I can count in the last 3 or 4 months. More than that, I've wanted to take myself out of this world. I get so frustrated all the time. Even at hockey every week I can't put myself through an hour without breaking down on the bench because it continues to drive the point home that I am worthless and can't do anything right.

You know why I want to join the armed forces now?
Because then I'll f***ing do something worth it. Someone might actually appreaciate what the f**k I do. And more than that- I don't care if I die, so at least if I die there, on the field, it'll be "honorable".
("Join the army, if you fail")

I'm tired of this shit. f***ing tired of it.

Dear Padfoot,

I care.

So do others.

Believe me.

Nettie

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