And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

[Your_Lion]

No, no, I am not the brain specialist. No, no, I am not... Yes. Yes I am.

I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

Mr Your_Lion, why do you contradict people?

He's de-de-de-he's deaf and m-m-m-m-m mad, sir.

When Beethoven went deaf the mynah bird just used to mime.

You assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

But you are tired and you must rest awhile. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.

But it does mean that when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

Right you've got the girl down on the bed, you've got her legs up on the mantelpiece.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy.

Hmm, that's a good idea for a song, er..... Yum-yum, yum-yum-dee buggetty, rum fing f-tooo, Yi! Ni! Ni! Yow-oooo!!

 

For...she's gone to marry Yum Yum. Crikey the old song has finished her off.

Look, tell you what, we'll eat her, if you feel a bit guilty about it after, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it

Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit. :ebert:

Now look here, you may be Chairman but your bloody pusillanimous behaviour makes me vomit!

We're sorry you feel that way, but we did want a block of flats. :16ton:

the Amazing Mystico and Janet can put up a block of flats by hypnosis in under a minute

 

Good evening. Minister, may I put the first question to you? In your plan, 'A Better Britain For Us', you claimed that you would build 88,000 million, billion houses a year in the Greater London area alone. In fact, you've built only three in the last fifteen years.

All the kings said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.

It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp.

[Citizen of the World]

No, no, I am not the brain specialist. No, no, I am not... Yes. Yes I am.

I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

Mr Your_Lion, why do you contradict people?

He's de-de-de-he's deaf and m-m-m-m-m mad, sir.

When Beethoven went deaf the mynah bird just used to mime.

You assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

But you are tired and you must rest awhile. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.

But it does mean that when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

Right you've got the girl down on the bed, you've got her legs up on the mantelpiece.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy.

Hmm, that's a good idea for a song, er..... Yum-yum, yum-yum-dee buggetty, rum fing f-tooo, Yi! Ni! Ni! Yow-oooo!!

 

For...she's gone to marry Yum Yum. Crikey the old song has finished her off.

Look, tell you what, we'll eat her, if you feel a bit guilty about it after, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it

Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit. :ebert:

Now look here, you may be Chairman but your bloody pusillanimous behaviour makes me vomit!

We're sorry you feel that way, but we did want a block of flats. :16ton:

the Amazing Mystico and Janet can put up a block of flats by hypnosis in under a minute

 

Good evening. Minister, may I put the first question to you? In your plan, 'A Better Britain For Us', you claimed that you would build 88,000 million, billion houses a year in the Greater London area alone. In fact, you've built only three in the last fifteen years.

All the kings said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.

It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp.

You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank.

[blackhawkrush]

No, no, I am not the brain specialist. No, no, I am not... Yes. Yes I am.

I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

Mr Your_Lion, why do you contradict people?

He's de-de-de-he's deaf and m-m-m-m-m mad, sir.

When Beethoven went deaf the mynah bird just used to mime.

You assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

But you are tired and you must rest awhile. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.

But it does mean that when he says a bed is two foot wide, it is in fact sixty foot wide.

Right you've got the girl down on the bed, you've got her legs up on the mantelpiece.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy.

Hmm, that's a good idea for a song, er..... Yum-yum, yum-yum-dee buggetty, rum fing f-tooo, Yi! Ni! Ni! Yow-oooo!!

 

For...she's gone to marry Yum Yum. Crikey the old song has finished her off.

Look, tell you what, we'll eat her, if you feel a bit guilty about it after, we can dig a grave and you can throw up in it

Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit. :ebert:

Now look here, you may be Chairman but your bloody pusillanimous behaviour makes me vomit!

We're sorry you feel that way, but we did want a block of flats. :16ton:

the Amazing Mystico and Janet can put up a block of flats by hypnosis in under a minute

 

Good evening. Minister, may I put the first question to you? In your plan, 'A Better Britain For Us', you claimed that you would build 88,000 million, billion houses a year in the Greater London area alone. In fact, you've built only three in the last fifteen years.

All the kings said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em.

It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp.

You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank.

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

[Your_Lion]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

[Your_Lion]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

[Your_Lion]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

[Your_Lion]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

Sounded like snogging to me. I could hear his great wet slobbering lips going at yer ... and his hand going up yer...

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

Sounded like snogging to me. I could hear his great wet slobbering lips going at yer ... and his hand going up yer...

My doctor encouraged me with it.

[Citizen of the World]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

Sounded like snogging to me. I could hear his great wet slobbering lips going at yer ... and his hand going up yer...

My doctor encouraged me with it.

Actually, I'm a gynaecologist but that was my lunchhour.

[blackhawkrush]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

Sounded like snogging to me. I could hear his great wet slobbering lips going at yer ... and his hand going up yer...

My doctor encouraged me with it.

Actually, I'm a gynaecologist but that was my lunchhour.

Um, er...excuse me, um, are you...are you suggesting eating my mother?

[Digital Dad]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

Sounded like snogging to me. I could hear his great wet slobbering lips going at yer ... and his hand going up yer...

My doctor encouraged me with it.

Actually, I'm a gynaecologist but that was my lunchhour.

Um, er...excuse me, um, are you...are you suggesting eating my mother?

 

No. But what we can do, and this is between you and me, I shouldn't really be telling you this, we'll turn your gas on, make a hole in your pipe, you ring Hounslow emergency, they'll be around here in a couple of days.

 

 

[Your_Lion]

Tell 'em about the bleeding rats, too. :o Bloody sharks.

I mean, how many of us can honestly say that at one time or another he hasn't felt sexually attracted to mice...I know I have.

:bang bang: I never did like that kind of person.

Quite frankly I'm against people who give vent to their loquacity by extraneous bombastic circumlocution.

You're all bloody fancy talk since you left London.

Well you can't blame British Rail for that

Not anymore, Lady Partridge. The line's been closed. :(

I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

I didn't know there was a Basingstoke in Westphalia.

But Roberts is over fifteen hundred miles away, and it's beginning to look all over, bar the shouting.

I believe in him and I'm just trying to create the opportunities for Ron to do the kind of things he wants to do...

do you want to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

You young couple just carry on. Take no notice of me ... I don't want to feel as though I'm getting in the way.

Oh, that sounds wonderful. Would you like to talk about the meaning of life, darling?

Oh, dear me. This chatting away wears me out. :codger:

Sounded like snogging to me. I could hear his great wet slobbering lips going at yer ... and his hand going up yer...

My doctor encouraged me with it.

Actually, I'm a gynaecologist but that was my lunchhour.

Um, er...excuse me, um, are you...are you suggesting eating my mother?

 

No. But what we can do, and this is between you and me, I shouldn't really be telling you this, we'll turn your gas on, make a hole in your pipe, you ring Hounslow emergency, they'll be around here in a couple of days.

I don't like the sound of these 'ere boncentration bamps.

[blackhawkrush]

Yes, I'm sorry, I can't say the letter "B"

[Your_Lion]

Yes, I'm sorry, I can't say the letter "B"

Well, I can't help noticing that, for someone who claims to say things in a very roundabout way, your last two answers have very little of the discursive quality about them.