Men!

[blonde77th]

with all the toys out there see men h'mmmmmmmm

[Cygnus]

The Rules

 

 

1. The female always makes The Rules.

 

2. The Rules are subject to change without prior notification.

 

3. No male can possibly know all The Rules.

 

4. If the female suspects the male knows all The Rules, she must immediately change some or all of The Rules.

 

5. The female is never wrong.

 

6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was the direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

 

7. If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

 

8. The female may change her mind at any time.

 

9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.

 

10. The female has every right to be angry and upset at any time.

 

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

 

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

 

13. The male is expected to mind-read at all times.

 

14. The male who does not abide by The Rules cannot take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

 

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm. (Uh, oh!)

 

16. If the female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void.

 

17. The female is ready when she is ready.

 

18. The male must be ready at all times.

 

[Cygnus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/leather.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She smells like a new truck.

Edited August 11, 2006 by Cygnus

[Maddy]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 11 2006, 07:47 AM)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/leather.jpg She smells like a new truck.

Hey, whatever gets his attention...

 

I think I'd rather be compared to a red Barchetta than a truck, though. Or at the very least, A VW Beetle...

[porthleven's rose]

QUOTE (Kid_Gloves @ Aug 4 2006, 01:21 AM)

QUOTE (CeeJ @ Aug 2 2006, 09:34 PM) Hope you enjoy this one ladies!!! For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.  Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage,  WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get  a little sausage. Men are like.... 1. Men are  like ..Laxatives  ...... They  irritate the crap out of you. 2. Men are like. ..  Bananas ......  The older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like  ......Weather .  Nothing can be done to change them. 4. Men are like ......Blenders  You need One, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are like  .....Chocolate Bars  ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men  are like ..Commercials  ....... You can't believe a word they say. 7. Men are like  ...  Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off. 8. Men  are like ..... Government Bonds  .... They take soooooooo long to mature. 9. Men are like  ..... Mascara . They usually  run at the first sign of emotion. 10. Men are like . .. Popcorn ..... They satisfy  you, but only for a little while. 11. Men are like  ...  Snowstorms  .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long  it will last. 12. Men are like .......Lava Lamps  .... Fun to look at, but not very bright. 13. Men are like  ...  Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken,  the rest are handicapped.   now that's one of the best I've read!!! Cheered me up no end!

[Cygnus]

Pocket Taser Stun Gun. ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS!

 

 

QUOTE

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary submitted this... Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against flesh or a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really (and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION )*((*)&)(#%)jld*(*#***!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-BITCH... That hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. Submitted by Rusty C.

[DonnaWanna]

Harvey and Gladys are getting ready for bed. Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself.

"You know, Harvey ," she comments. "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag so much that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped balloons,and...my butt looks like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenberg! My body has just gone to hell in a hand basket!"

She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself."

 

Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

 

He never heard the shot!

 

 

[Daylin]

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Aug 21 2006, 02:20 PM)

Harvey and Gladys are getting ready for bed. Gladys is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself. "You know, Harvey ," she comments. "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag so much that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped balloons,and...my butt looks like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenberg! My body has just gone to hell in a hand basket!" She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself." Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." He never heard the shot!

 

 

Cygnus, I love your new signature

[DonnaWanna]

QUOTE (Daylin @ Aug 21 2006, 03:42 PM)

Cygnus, I love your new signature

that poor man duno WTF is goin on does he

 

Looks confused as hell

[Alien Girl]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 21 2006, 05:21 AM)

Pocket Taser Stun Gun. ONLY A GUY WOULD DO THIS! QUOTE Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary submitted this... Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against flesh or a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, right?!!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really (and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION )*((*)&)(#%)jld*(*#***!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-BITCH... That hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. Submitted by Rusty C.  Oh my god this is funny!!!

[Cygnus]

Subject: [The golfer]

 

 

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf.

He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdy

on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first

ever hole in one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor

notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible

accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

 

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and

that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he

realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever

round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before

heading to the hospital. He ended up finishing all eighteen.

He finished his round shooting a personal best 61 shattering

the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best

game by more than 10.

 

He was jubilant, then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he

dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corri dor and

asked about about his wife's condition.

 

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and

finished your round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of

yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying

yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing

in the ICU! Its just as well you went ahead and finished that

round because it will more than likely be your last! For the

rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll

be her care giver!"

 

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

 

 

 

The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?

Edited August 24, 2006 by Cygnus

[fendergirl4001]

Now that's a real commited husband right there. Commited to his game, I mean.

[ladirushfan80]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 24 2006, 07:58 AM)

Subject: [The golfer] A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdy on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital. He ended up finishing all eighteen. He finished his round shooting a personal best 61 shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant, then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corri dor and asked about about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! Its just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will more than likely be your last! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!" The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed. The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/aiw/ohmy.gif

 

 

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/aiw/nono.gif

 

 

http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/aiw/smile2.gif

 

 

 

[blonde77th]

i would haunt his ass

[DonnaWanna]

DESPERATE TO KNOW HER FUTURE, A WOMAN DECIDED TO GO VISIT A PSYCHIC.

 

IN A DARK AND GLOOMY ROOM, GAZING AT THE TAROT CARDS LAID OUT BEFORE HER, THE PSYCHIC DELIVERED THE BAD NEWS;

 

"THERE IS NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS SO I"LL BE BLUNT, PREPARE YOURSELF TO BE A WIDOW. YOUR HUSBAND WILL DIE A VIOLENT AND HORRIBLE DEATH THIS YEAR."

 

VISIBLY SHAKEN, THE WOMAN STARED AT THE PSYCHIC'S LINED FACE, THEN AT THE SINGLE FLICKERING CANDLE, AND THEN LOOKED DOWN AT HER HANDS.

 

SHE TOOK A FEW DEEP BREATHS TO COMPOSE HERSELF AND DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND ASK THE QUESTION SHE SIMPLY HAD TO KNOW.

 

SHE MET THE PSYCHIC'S GAZE, STEADIED HER VOICE, AND ASKED, "WILL I GET AWAY WITH IT?"

 

 

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Aug 30 2006, 03:13 PM)

DESPERATE TO KNOW HER FUTURE, A WOMAN DECIDED TO GO VISIT A PSYCHIC. IN A DARK AND GLOOMY ROOM, GAZING AT THE TAROT CARDS LAID OUT BEFORE HER, THE PSYCHIC DELIVERED THE BAD NEWS; "THERE IS NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS SO I"LL BE BLUNT, PREPARE YOURSELF TO BE A WIDOW. YOUR HUSBAND WILL DIE A VIOLENT AND HORRIBLE DEATH THIS YEAR." VISIBLY SHAKEN, THE WOMAN STARED AT THE PSYCHIC'S LINED FACE, THEN AT THE SINGLE FLICKERING CANDLE, AND THEN LOOKED DOWN AT HER HANDS. SHE TOOK A FEW DEEP BREATHS TO COMPOSE HERSELF AND DECIDED TO GO AHEAD AND ASK THE QUESTION SHE SIMPLY HAD TO KNOW. SHE MET THE PSYCHIC'S GAZE, STEADIED HER VOICE, AND ASKED, "WILL I GET AWAY WITH IT?"

Oh My

[ladirushfan80]

A woman's poem . . .

 

He didn't like the casserole

And he didn't like my cake.

He said my biscuits were too hard...

Not like his mother used to make.

I didn't perk the coffee right

He didn't like the stew,

I didn't mend his socks

The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer

I was looking for a clue.

Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him...

Like his mother used to do

[DonnaWanna]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Aug 31 2006, 11:20 AM)

A woman's poem . . . He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked the shit out of him... Like his mother used to do

 

 

 

 

10% of single men say they have never done this. What is it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: Change Bed Sheets

 

A recent survey shows women say this is the sexiest thing a man can do. What is it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: Take care of her when she's not feeling well

 

 

[DonnaWanna]

http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/4162/image020gq4.jpg

[netgirl]

QUOTE (1-0-0-1-0-0-1 @ Jul 12 2006, 11:03 AM)

QUOTE (barbara.agi @ Jul 12 2006, 11:08 AM) Men Sucks! Interesting first post. Welcome!

[netgirl]

IF DR. SEUSS WAS A WOMAN

 

 

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d93/netgirl2112/carto56.gif

 

 

I'm glad I'm a woman-Yes Iam, yes I am.

 

I don't live on Budweiser, Beer nuts and Spam.

 

 

 

I don't brag to my buddies about my erections:

 

I won't drive to Hell before asking directions.

 

 

 

I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;

 

And I know how to put the damn toilet seat down.

 

 

 

I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.

 

My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.

 

 

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d93/netgirl2112/itch.gif

 

 

I don't go around readjusting my crotch;

 

or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.

 

I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.

 

 

 

and thrilled I'm not covered in shag carpeting.

 

 

 

Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back.

 

And when I bend down You can't see my crack.

 

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d93/netgirl2112/cart46.gif

 

 

 

I'm a woman, alas-and I'm proud, don't you see?

 

I'm blessed to have two boobs and squat when I pee.

 

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d93/netgirl2112/peop153.gif

 

 

I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball

 

 

I don't swagger and spit like a neanderthal.

 

I don't need malebonding; I don't cruise for chicks-

 

I'll never join the "Hair Club," or think with my dick.

 

I'm a woman, by chance and thankful I

 

am!

 

I'm so glad I'm a woman, Not a man, yes I am!

 

 

 

 

 

[Kid_Gloves]

Can we live with them or without them? Depends on the man. I can think of 8 men I could not live without-

 

My father

My boyfriend (soon to be fiance)

My brother

Geddy Lee

Alex Lifeson

Neil Peart

Charles (a best friend)

Daniel (a best friend)

 

Sure, they have their dumb moments, but most men are pretty great.

 

Just ignore the assholes.

[ladirushfan80]

HER DIARY

 

Tonight I thought he was acting weird.

 

We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.

 

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

 

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

 

I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing.

 

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

 

He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

 

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled & kept driving.

 

I can't explain his behavior.

 

I don't know why he didn't say I love you too.

 

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

 

He just sat there and watched TV.

 

He seemed distant and absent.

 

Finally, I decided to go to bed.

 

About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted & his thoughts were somewhere else.

 

He fell asleep - I cried.

 

I don't know what to do.

 

I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

 

My life is a disaster.

 

 

HIS DIARY

 

I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Cygnus]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Sep 13 2006, 11:09 AM)

HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled & kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted & his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. HIS DIARY I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now thats funny

[blonde77th]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Sep 13 2006, 11:09 AM)

HER DIARY Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled & kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted & his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. HIS DIARY I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------