owlswing Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 14 2007, 10:30 AM)Oh, The Good Old Days http://newmedia.funnyjunk.com/pictures/battleshipsforbotys.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/cartoons%20and%20fun/men_are_pigs_7x7-265x264.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Mar 15 2007, 07:29 AM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/cartoons%20and%20fun/men_are_pigs_7x7-265x264.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/cartoons%20and%20fun/pig1.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolinda Bonz Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/hell1.jpg http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/hell2.jpg http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/hell3.jpg http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/hell4.jpg http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/hell5.jpg http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c167/RolindaBonz/hell6.jpg   funny as hell, if not a little too JerrySpringer.   Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 @ rolinda's post!!!   i was just thinking about bumping this !!!  http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/cartoons%20and%20fun/pig4.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumnut Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeeJ Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes. How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."  How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. How many men does it take to tile a bathroom? Two. If you slice them very thinly. What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window. What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him. What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure. What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it. How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.  Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell. Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions. What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!  What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes. What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game. What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football? The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer. What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.  What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? Sex. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name. What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes. What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.  What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted a several times. What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..." What's the quickest way to a man's heart? Straight through the rib cage. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs. Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice.  Why did God create man before woman? Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.  Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones. Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts. Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? They all already have boyfriends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 This Thread is Great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Feb 27 2007, 05:47 PM) "Advice for office managers: If you keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer, then when a woman goes to get one out you'll get a great view of her ass."  New OSHA required work hazard signs  http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/127020.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladirushfan80 Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jun 29 2007, 10:12 AM) QUOTE (Cygnus @ Feb 27 2007, 05:47 PM) "Advice for office managers: If you keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer, then when a woman goes to get one out you'll get a great view of her ass."  New OSHA required work hazard signs  http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/127020.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Oh My Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 well some things never change! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turn Me On Dead Man Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 I think I'm a nice enough guy. All the girls I know say I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rnrgal Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. (this has been attributed to Andy Rooney; I'm not sure if he really said it!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 QUOTE (rnrgal @ Jul 15 2007, 09:25 PM) For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. (this has been attributed to Andy Rooney; I'm not sure if he really said it!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolinda Bonz Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Snausages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyrob Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Native Australian word for white man translates to "Long Pig" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolinda Bonz Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 It doesn't pay to piss a woman off...  She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow end of the all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/14th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and, within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 2 2007, 11:02 PM) It doesn't pay to piss a woman off... She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow end of the all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/14th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and, within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods. OMG Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie7 Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 2 2007, 11:02 PM) It doesn't pay to piss a woman off... She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow end of the all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/14th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and, within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods. Sweet revenge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porthleven's rose Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 My God---that's not true is it? !!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted August 3, 2007 Share Posted August 3, 2007 QUOTE (Frankie7 @ Aug 3 2007, 07:59 AM) QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 2 2007, 11:02 PM) It doesn't pay to piss a woman off...   She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and   suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her   things.   On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining   room table by candlelight, put on some soft background  music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of  Chardonnay.  When she had finished, she went into each and every room and  stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow end of  the all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.  When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the  first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried  everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were  checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners  were hung everywhere.  Exterminators were brought in to set off gas  canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the  end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing  worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work  in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any  longer and decided to move.  A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not  find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the  local realtors refused to return their calls.  Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to  purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things  were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened  politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be  willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house  back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on  a price that was about 1/14th of what the house had been worth, but only  if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and, within the  hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods. Sweet revenge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted August 8, 2007 Share Posted August 8, 2007 QUOTE (Daylin @ Aug 3 2007, 01:07 PM) QUOTE (Frankie7 @ Aug 3 2007, 07:59 AM) QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Aug 2 2007, 11:02 PM) It doesn't pay to piss a woman off...   She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and   suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her   things.   On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining   room table by candlelight, put on some soft background  music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of  Chardonnay.  When she had finished, she went into each and every room and  stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow end of  the all of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.  When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the  first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried  everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were  checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned, air fresheners  were hung everywhere.  Exterminators were brought in to set off gas  canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the  end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing  worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work  in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any  longer and decided to move.  A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not  find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the  local realtors refused to return their calls.  Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to  purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things  were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened  politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be  willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house  back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on  a price that was about 1/14th of what the house had been worth, but only  if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and, within the  hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home........ including the curtain rods. Sweet revenge! http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h173/blonde77th/clapW.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metaldad Posted August 11, 2007 Share Posted August 11, 2007 heres to pigs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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