You`re No Fun Anymore - Monty Python, Vol. 3

[IbanezJem]

24 minutes ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said:

 

Well, she came at me with a banana!!!

 It's a Brazilian dagger. 

[blackhawkrush]

4 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

 It's a Brazilian dagger. 

Yes, she's an unpredictable sort. 

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

3 minutes ago, blackhawkrush said:

Yes, she's an unpredictable sort. 

 

Yes, please excuse my wife. She may appear to be rather nasty but underneath she has a heart of formica.

[blackhawkrush]

2 hours ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said:

 

Yes, please excuse my wife. She may appear to be rather nasty but underneath she has a heart of formica.

This is my wife Norah, er, Norah Jane, Norah Jane blackhawkrush. 

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

3 minutes ago, blackhawkrush said:

This is my wife Norah, er, Norah Jane, Norah Jane blackhawkrush. 

 

Is your uh, is your wife a sport, eh? She likes sport, eh? I bet she does, I bet she does!

[IbanezJem]

1 hour ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said:

 

Is your uh, is your wife a sport, eh? She likes sport, eh? I bet she does, I bet she does!

I have just won a Kellogg's Corn Flake Competition. I got the ball in exactly the right place. 

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

15 minutes ago, IbanezJem said:

I have just won a Kellogg's Corn Flake Competition. I got the ball in exactly the right place. 

 

Oh Bevis, should we? Be gentle with me.

[IbanezJem]

4 minutes ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said:

 

Oh Bevis, should we? Be gentle with me.

 I've asked along a simply gorgeous little man I picked up outside the Odeon.

[blackhawkrush]

5 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

 I've asked along a simply gorgeous little man I picked up outside the Odeon.

Well, that's extremely interesting, thank you for coming along on the thread tonight, Mr. Stools.   

[IbanezJem]

9 hours ago, blackhawkrush said:

Well, that's extremely interesting, thank you for coming along on the thread tonight, Mr. Stools.   

Well why didn't it say on his form that he's a gorilla?

[blackhawkrush]

4 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

Well why didn't it say on his form that he's a gorilla?

Yes, it's a hell  of a nuisance all this damn paperwork, really it is. It's a real nightmare, this damn paperwork. 

[IbanezJem]

1 hour ago, blackhawkrush said:

Yes, it's a hell  of a nuisance all this damn paperwork, really it is. It's a real nightmare, this damn paperwork. 

Well look I'll phone the bishop and see if we can get the Abbey. 

[blackhawkrush]

3 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

Well look I'll phone the bishop and see if we can get the Abbey. 

You couldn't afford me, dear.    

[IbanezJem]

2 hours ago, blackhawkrush said:

You couldn't afford me, dear.    

Thank you Robert. Well that seems to be about all we have time for tonight. Unless anyone has anything else to say. Has anyone anything else to say? 

[blackhawkrush]

2 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

Thank you Robert. Well that seems to be about all we have time for tonight. Unless anyone has anything else to say. Has anyone anything else to say? 

Somebody said 'mattress' to Mr. 73...twice!  

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

5 minutes ago, blackhawkrush said:

Somebody said 'mattress' to Mr. 73...twice!  

 

The beds here at TRF are warm and soft,  and very, very big. What is your name, handsome knight?

[IbanezJem]

4 minutes ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said:

 

The beds here at TRF are warm and soft,  and very, very big. What is your name, handsome knight?

Cardinal Richelieu - sixteen stone of pure man. 

[blackhawkrush]

2 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

Cardinal Richelieu - sixteen stone of pure man. 

No, no, look, I'm not interested in any of that. I just want to know what it would cost me to have a fully comprehensive insurance on 

[IbanezJem]

5 minutes ago, blackhawkrush said:

No, no, look, I'm not interested in any of that. I just want to know what it would cost me to have a fully comprehensive insurance on 

 Well I deal mainly with mortgage protection policies, but I also do certain types of life assurance.

[blackhawkrush]

2 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

 Well I deal mainly with mortgage protection policies, but I also do certain types of life assurance.

I think I can say, without fear of contradiction, that the ideal job for you is chartered accountancy.    

[IbanezJem]

45 minutes ago, blackhawkrush said:

I think I can say, without fear of contradiction, that the ideal job for you is chartered accountancy.    

Er, you don't think you should make it clear that I'm a psychiatrist? 

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

3 hours ago, IbanezJem said:

Er, you don't think you should make it clear that I'm a psychiatrist? 

 

Can I just say that this is the first time I've been on television?

[blackhawkrush]

4 hours ago, 1-0-0-1-0-0-1 said:

 

Can I just say that this is the first time I've been on television?

Haven't I seen him on the television...television doctor?     

[IbanezJem]

10 hours ago, blackhawkrush said:

Haven't I seen him on the television...television doctor?     

Mr blackhawk, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. 

[1-0-0-1-0-0-1]

18 minutes ago, IbanezJem said:

Mr blackhawk, as you know I am a leading Harley Street surgeon as seen on television. 

 

Thank God for that. For one ghastly moment I thought I was...too late. If only more people would call in the nick of time.