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I bought my mom and her husband tickets to the Clockwork Angels screening tonight and I was talking about how cute I think Geddy is, I mean she already knows how cute I think Geddy is but we were talking about it again and I was telling her to watch out for his little butt wiggles. But then for some reason I mentioned that sometimes in the past Geddy had been on these lists where he was like "one of the ugliest" singers, bassists, rock stars, etc.. and that it upset me that these lists even existed to begin with but that they also hit a very sore spot by having Geddy on them. So since these things have been published in magazines I'm sure he's heard of it. And then I wonder if he also knows that on the other token there are people that find him stunningly beautiful and sweet and even angelic... Or if it even matters at all. Anyway, my "deep" thought for the morning. Geddy has changed a lot over the years. He has features that stand out from the norm and are very memorable. With his long hair, glasses and larger than average nose. :) But I think what some others might see as unflattering or not handsome are what make him so appealing. He's not the typical western ideal of masculine beauty, he transcends that. With his quiet intelligence, witty sense of humor, and way of carrying himself, it becomes a very attractive combination. Plus he takes care of himself physically and seems very eternally youthful. What's not to love?

So do I! At this point I have a complicated love/hate relationship with this thread. :P

I love this thread! :ebert: :ebert: :ebert: :ebert:

The Yukon Blade Grinder Felonius Munk Edition 11.18.2013 Santa Barbara, Ca Santa Barbara Courthouse Rushgoober: The Cult Leader Speaks The Yukon Blade Grinder is proving omniscient as ever when news unfolds in the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. Marlon Brando’s famous line from the classic film “Apocalypse Now” seems an appropriate description of the situation—horror. Yep that’s it. Cannibalistic rituals, rock band mythology, and frightened animals running amok have been the calling card for this inner space oddity. The Blade Grinder has learned the disturbed leader of the cult has hired legal counsel and been granted a press conference of his own in an effort to clear his name. According to law enforcement, even the grungiest of ambulance chasers have steered clear of this case. Except for one heavyweight. Who wants to defend the indefensible? John Grisham—Author. Lawyer. Master of Legalese. Willing to leave his Louisiana home for months on end to defend the ringleader of the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch”, Mr. Grisham informs the Yukon Blade Grinder that he’s certainly up to his eyeballs in challenges to overcome. The charges against the defendant are not easily dismissed with such overwhelming evidence on hand. Cruelty to animals. Criminal trespassing. Obstruction of justice. Accessory to cannibalism. Impersonating a Rush fan. All of these claims are tall orders to overcome in Sheriff Howard’s town. The Sheriff, who has been a rock of stability for the city, has called a 10:00 am press conference for the accused. As media outlets push and shove for front row seats, the Yukon Blade Grinder is already there for today’s media event. Sheriff Howard steps up to the podium, accompanied by a shackled Rush Goober, lawyer in tow. Today’s transcript: Sheriff Howard: Been a very quiet weekend here. Thankfully things have calmed down since last week’s well-documented shock. Street crews have cleaned up the last of the ostrich and emu carcasses from our highly successful feeding program. We’re experiencing boisterous crowds outside Neverland Ranch, so we have a constant visible police presence. The Seven Cities of Gold dancers are in a safe house provided by Mr. Larry Flynt, and currently dealing with their own set of legal troubles. Today’s press conference isn’t typical. We’re giving the accused access to you folks in order to say his piece before stepping into the courtroom. The county judge has given special leeway for this to happen. As you all know, Judge Hhang M. Hi, has a soft spot in her heart for dwarves, and Rush Goober fits the bill. So with that said, here’s the man of the moment. Rush Goober: Can somebody please get a stool so I can see over the podium please? Either that, or some phone books to stand on—what kind of an operation is this? Ok, I know that it doesn’t look good holed up at Neverland Ranch with a bunch of strippers in a barn illegally. At one time I was a welcomed friend on the premises. It honestly felt like home to me. After our dismissal from the Clockwork Angels Tour, we were very pissed about the way it was handled. So, the dancers and I just decided to take off and deal with our frustrations and anxiety in a healthy way. Things turned out very different than I ever envisioned. I want to be as transparent as I can. That means brutal honesty. You can ask me any questions you want and I’ll do my best to give you a straightforward and honest answer. I’m told that I have a limited time to field questions. I can’t believe all the reporters here, hard to pick the first one to start off—Ok let’s go with you! Songbird Magazine: Your relationship with Michael Jackson has been described as duo, not unlike Elton John’s collaboration with Bernie Taupin. Is that an accurate portrayal? Rush Goober: Kind of…we weren’t “lovers” in the literal sense. We were just artists seeking the highest plateau of creativity. Michael would call me up from the guesthouse and just give me these incredible ideas. I would expand them in any and all directions. That’s how we wrote the hits. I had to live on the estate because he’s demanding when he was inspired—had to feed my muse ya know. Songbird Magazine: What was the cause of the fractured relationship? Rush Goober: Ever watch a TV show called “Webster”? f***ing Emmanuel Lewis! He was the cause. Next question. David Fricke, RollingStone Magazine: You were a part of the British Repertoire’s Acclaimed Wee Legion, the vaunted acting troupe chosen to bring to life Clockwork Angels in a visual sense, what was your role? Rush Goober: I was the cabin boy in the song The Wreckers and I was shot out of a cannon during the song Headlong Flight. Everyone in the troupe performed three or four roles for the entire show though. David Fricke, RollingStone Magazine: We’ve been informed that your dismissal from the employ of Anthem Entertainment was because of a melee at the Orbit Room, the well-known establishment of guitarist Alex Lifeson. What exactly happened that ill-fated night? Rush Goober: Well, it all started after a rehearsal. Treeduck was messing around on Neil’s kit, playing Hot for Teacher, which is no easy feat. Neil came over and commented on his execution of the song. Treeduck then issued a challenge to Rush for a “Battle of the Bands” at the Orbit Room. They accepted. So the BRAWL’rs threw together a group comprised of four blokes, wrote some songs. They performed and actually won the competition, hands down. Rush is just a bunch of sore losers plain and simple. Hector, Treeduck, Grau, and Tony kicked their ass every which way to Sunday. When Geddy, Neil, and Alex changed the rules midstream everybody got pissed and the fisticuffs started. Never pick on a gang of dwarves—you'll lose every time! The American Journal of Medicine: Rumors have it the band supplied a stimulant to the acting troupe called Todem Natural Male Enhancement as a perk. Is that true? Rush Goober: Yes, and I highly recommend it. Best thing the band has put out since Hemispheres in my opinion. It works. The American Journal of Medicine: Did that increase aggression and sexual tension? Rush Goober: It put a great deal of pressure on the Seven Cities of Gold dancers. Hey, when your work environment was like ours you tend to hit on your co-workers. When we took the medication they seemed to always be around. They thought it was cute and funny at first, hanging around a bunch of randy dwarves. But the power of Todem is not to be denied—just ask the dancers. Next question The Yukon Blade Grinder: What’s with the nose? Why did you feed the dancers the nose of Michael Jackson? Rush Goober: Michael gave it to me as a parting gift. Told me it would be worth millions on the open market. When I couldn’t establish the true owner of the nose legally, I was hamstrung. So during our time at Neverland, I thought it would be cool to be “one” with Michael once again, so we all took part in the ceremony. The Yukon Blade Grinder: Is it true you wrote The way you make me feel? And if so, who do you write that about? Rush Goober: I wrote it for Michael. I miss him so, so much….sniff. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody…sniff. Sorry if I did! Sheriff Howard: Ok, folks our allotted time is up for questioning. This is obviously and emotional time for all parties involved. We’ll learn more at the actual hearings. Thank you for your patience and pleasant demeanors during an awfully unpleasant time. In closing, I do need to mention that we’ve hacked into Rush Goober’s laptop. So much information to go through. It appears he was writing several books at the time of capture centering on a character known only by the initials TM. One called “The Life Works of TM: Understanding the Maze”. He was also was writing a lexicon of this person’s contribution to print media, which is quite substantial. We think they're relatives. We’ll know more about that later as our code breakers work on it --End transcript-- Rush Goober. Villain? Misunderstood artist? The Yukon Blade Grinder is on a quest to find the answer to that very question. As our role grows in the full realization of this mystery, one thing's for sure...it doesn’t get any easier from here. With our field agents scouring Santa Barbara to gain more insight into the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” we’re confident we’ll get to the bottom of this quandary. One painful step at a time.

I bought my mom and her husband tickets to the Clockwork Angels screening tonight and I was talking about how cute I think Geddy is, I mean she already knows how cute I think Geddy is but we were talking about it again and I was telling her to watch out for his little butt wiggles. But then for some reason I mentioned that sometimes in the past Geddy had been on these lists where he was like "one of the ugliest" singers, bassists, rock stars, etc.. and that it upset me that these lists even existed to begin with but that they also hit a very sore spot by having Geddy on them. So since these things have been published in magazines I'm sure he's heard of it. And then I wonder if he also knows that on the other token there are people that find him stunningly beautiful and sweet and even angelic... Or if it even matters at all. Anyway, my "deep" thought for the morning.

Whaaat? This isn't real? Someone's spoofing us again?

Oh, it's no joke. Rumor has it that Neil is replacing Meg White in The White Stripes, but he's having a hard time with the incredible complexity of her drum parts. It's really testing his chops.

I just realised I've been staring at that gif for several minutes! :mwah: Me too! I'm embarrassed to look too long. It's like he might see us. Neil, if someone is showing you our posts right now, we're very sorry. Haha! My thoughts too. it's kind of a little unnerving to think that any of them could be looking at these threads. Yes, Neil, if you are reading this we are very sorry...but you are a cutie. Neil's response to all out love and oogling: http://i.imgur.com/oCQjW6t.gif Also, some Anatomy of a Drum Solo pictures/gifs: http://i.imgur.com/zKaKgfj.jpg http://i.imgur.com/1qo7VxG.jpg http://i.imgur.com/urvIMWV.gif

So if Alex joins Yes, will they then have to call the band No?

I have always thought Geddy was 'an old soul', I don't know how to describe it but just so much more than the sum of his parts, kwim. So I have to agree that there is something special about Geddy's looks, and as I have mentioned before I married someone who looked a lot like him in their younger days. My DH is aging well as is Geddy, but they do not look as much alike as they did before.

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state. Meanwhile

They did ask him but his excessive drool caused a short circuit in the mic and they had to cut the interview short. Just prior to the 'DD' question they did manage to ask how he felt about the 'B' cup fans to which he replied, "meh." In that case, maybe we fangirls are just the morale booster they need. Anyone want to start a "Send Rush Your Nudes" campaign? Is this open for everyone? Even us 'B' cup girls?!?! The guys are off for well over a year. They need to fill their time doing something. Sure, when I drop these post-wedding pounds I'll be a C-cup again lol. I was thinking about doing some pin-up photos as a Christmas gift for my husband, maybe I should have some copies made for the boys and send those in?

Awwwww, so cute! He looks a bit bashful there!

I LOVE the "Singles" soundtrack. Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Paul Westerberg, Mother Love Bone, Soundgarden and also a song with just Chris Cornell, Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, Smashing Pumpkins... it's a totally unabashed grungefest. And, it has a cover of Zep's "The Battle of Evermore" by The Lovemongers, which is actually Nancy and Ann Wilson. AMAZING!!!!! version of this song.

So do I! At this point I have a complicated love/hate relationship with this thread. :P You shouldn't, it's in a Rush forum and the people in here are all good-hearted, even the op.

So do I!

This is usually my reaction to a girl who loves the same kind of music as I do http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/123/d/6/the_wolf_by_dayzeehead-d4yfuzg.gif

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goober's? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread. Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ." Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . . I have been thinking the same thing. What haven't we been through? Even if nothing else happened to us, spending the nights in that wretched motel with the proprietor that looks like Anthony Perkins is enough to send anyone running off in horror. But. Have we complained? No. We have taken it in stride and do it all for RushGoober. And what thanks do we get? Not even a nod. It is a disgrace. Have you noticed how many people have read this thread? Thousands. Surely Tombstone doesn't think people are looking to read his Yukon Blade articles, does he? And not only that, but where is the Ingrate of the Hour - RushGoober himself? No doubt ensconced in his cushy prison cell while we brave terrors and horrors no mortal should have to encounter! :( When I think of that chimpanzee in the negligee, I could cry.

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goobers? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread. Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ." Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . . The story isn't finished...patience.

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goober's? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread. Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ." Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . . I'm in there too. :P

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goober's? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread. Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ." Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . .

I think I'll slip a few sticks of incense into his care package that the Hare Krishnas gave me. He'll like that.

Had a good chuckle; thanks for the link! What is pretty amusing is that during the first conversation I ever had with my husband- before we started dating- I mentioned how much I liked King Crimson. Think he pretty much fell for me then.

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call. I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail. I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous. I couldn't call because my ObamaPhone was out of range. Haven't you even been to that dastardly Laurel Canyon??? Even the coyotes packed up and left.In any event, don't forget to pack cushions for the chairs. If you can't find anyway, bring those useless pillows that fleabag motel provides.And don't drive too fast. I still haven't recovered from my adventure. I need something to take my mind off of the events of the weekend. Here's hoping that the news conference, or Goobs' jailbreak - whichever comes first - does the trick! Your time with the Hare Krishnas must have been traumatic. I should probably throw out that tambourine I found on the back seat of our rental car.

Yes, all have a great time and cheer on behalf of us deprived Europeans! :ebert: Hope you all enjoy the show! :rush: :Neil: :Alex: :geddy:

Ugh Geddy's wife is a very pretty redhead and his kids have red hair and Geddy's green eyes. There's a picture floating around here somewhere. I bumped into his daughter at the San Diego show (I think, she was sitting at the sound booth) she's soooo tiny and cute.

He's headed for Germany. Watch for him rowing his boat up the Rhine. What? Are the rumours true is he out?

Jailbreak! Mercy me!! What will Sheriff Howard do?And as for you Greyfriar, here I thought you showed up here to help us out, and all you do is stand around on the sidelines eating popcorn.Did you at least bring a gift for Goobs? Sorry Lorraine I'm too far away right now, I'm still in Rush heaven. Since I saw that DVD I'm not the same person anymore. A gift for goobs, damn when he really tries to escape I better bring a file.

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call. I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail. I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous. I couldn't call because my ObamaPhone was out of range. Haven't you even been to that dastardly Laurel Canyon??? Even the coyotes packed up and left.In any event, don't forget to pack cushions for the chairs. If you can't find anyway, bring those useless pillows that fleabag motel provides.And don't drive too fast. I still haven't recovered from my adventure. I need something to take my mind off of the events of the weekend. Here's hoping that the news conference, or Goobs' jailbreak - whichever comes first - does the trick!

Jailbreak! Mercy me!! What will Sheriff Howard do?And as for you Greyfriar, here I thought you showed up here to help us out, and all you do is stand around on the sidelines eating popcorn.Did you at least bring a gift for Goobs?

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call. I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail. I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous.

They did ask him but his excessive drool caused a short circuit in the mic and they had to cut the interview short. Just prior to the 'DD' question they did manage to ask how he felt about the 'B' cup fans to which he replied, "meh." In that case, maybe we fangirls are just the morale booster they need. Anyone want to start a "Send Rush Your Nudes" campaign? Is this open for everyone? Even us 'B' cup girls?!?! The guys are off for well over a year. They need to fill their time doing something. Sure, when I drop these post-wedding pounds I'll be a C-cup again lol. I was thinking about doing some pin-up photos as a Christmas gift for my husband, maybe I should have some copies made for the boys and send those in? Gangster, this is your lucky day. We happen to be in touch with Larry Flynt. See Tombstone for details.

This interview is no joke. Wait until you read the next installment. It is even worse. I say let it all come out.

Don't ask any questions. All I will say is don't ever pick up Hare Krishnas hitching. Who knew they were vegans in disguise? And has anyone here ever been to Laurel Canyon? Don't ever go there again. You may not make it out with your sanity intact. The good news is that I was able to charm one of the vegans into giving me her stuffed donkey for Goobs. It will make a nice addition to his collection. Has anyone else noticed how the proprietor of that wretched Thistle Dew looks a lot like the proprietor of the Bates Motel? Any word from our brother in distress? If not, why not? Much more of this I do not know if I can take. I am all for sacrifice, but even Lorraine has limits. I may have to be in counseling until the chicks come home to roost at this rate. As if all of this isn't distressing enough, my computer is acting up today. I bet those vegans did something to it when they were holding me captive.

I like the way that Nancy has been neatly cropped out of this image! Where is that screenshot from by the way? It's from the short movie "The Boys in Brazil" I think is what it's called. Andrew MacNaughton did it, you can find it on Youtube.

Come on children! Behave! I am really digging Counterparts. Has to be said...I don't care about sales statistics (Otherwise we would all be backstreet boys fans!), CP is better to my ears than Snakes and Arrows.

I look totally zoned-out in this pic, but whatevs.

It was a sleepless night at the Thistle Dew. Unable to sleep due to concern about Lorraine, I paced the floor with worry for hours. Then I discovered a box in the corner filled with old VHS tapes. Strangely, one was the Martin Bashir documentary, Living with Michael Jackson. As I watched that odious hack Bashir interview Jackson, I pondered what would cause Goober to become one of his lackeys. Finally, I fell into a fitful sleep at 3am, clutching the stuffed llama that I'd purchased for Goober. I hope Lorraine returns soon. I have to get to the jail and she has our rental car. Maybe I should ask Kato for a ride; he seems to have a lot of time on his hands.

Alex can't sing!? Pfffft! You guys do know Rick Wakeman has recruited Big Al to be the lead singer in another new version of Yes, right?

Intrepid YBG reporter, please don't put yourself in peril. Who knows what foul kind of dastardly lawyers Goobs might deploy if he perceives your quest for truth as merely a way to take the piss off him. He could sue you till the end of time.

The Commitments Volume 1 & Volume 2 http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/92/The_commitments-the_commitments.jpg http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3a/The_commitments-the_commitments_vol_2.jpg

BTW...here's something I hadn't seen before: Everything wrong with part 1: Pretty funny!

Update: I got tired of waiting for Lorraine to return, and since it was a sunny California afternoon, I decided to take a walk around our neighborhood. Upon returning, I ran into one of our fellow Thistle Dew guests as I entered the courtyard. This is a character I'd seen on the grounds before, but had always avoided because he was rather scruffy looking. I was unable to avoid him this time, and he introduced himself as "Kato". He muttered something about being the former house guest of a famous football player before asking me for some spare change. I gave him a Canadian quarter I found in my pocket and quickly ended the conversation. He was such a creepy, pathetic guy. I hope I don't run into him again. Anyway, I did manage to pick up a few gifts for Goober while I was checking out the shops in the area. I hope he's allowed visitors soon. http://i.imgur.com/ycgZYym.png http://i.imgur.com/R4cwqas.png http://i.imgur.com/P9AwPMe.png http://i.imgur.com/Q7ZERsZ.png I wonder if they'll let him keep the llama? It may interfere with his deprogramming. Lorraine isn't back yet, and it's getting dark. That's when the rats come out. :|

She obviously got too close to the truth! I'll be wearing my magneto-shaped tinfoil helmet to make sure that you can't find me. I refuse to be next! Getting close is what she does. I believe she's capable of being influenced by Larry Flynt...she's young, vulnerable, and easily swayed. Pray for her

She obviously got too close to the truth! I'll be wearing my magneto-shaped tinfoil helmet to make sure that you can't find me. I refuse to be next!

As the son of a big Rush father, it sure has grown on me. To the point of obsession, to all the parents here, it truly is a gift. Keep spreading the joy of Rush to everyone!

It should be against the law to be that good-looking Geddy. I will volunteer to arrest him, handcuff him (to me of course) and keep an eye on him. From now until the end. Time to frisk him!

Invite USB to the Thistle Dew. We desperately need reinforcements. I think you're doing pretty well, given that you've taken on such an unpopular cause. Yeah keep him locked up. He should pay for writing those unbearable Michael Jackson songs.

They did ask him but his excessive drool caused a short circuit in the mic and they had to cut the interview short. Just prior to the 'DD' question they did manage to ask how he felt about the 'B' cup fans to which he replied, "meh." In that case, maybe we fangirls are just the morale booster they need. Anyone want to start a "Send Rush Your Nudes" campaign? Is this open for everyone? Even us 'B' cup girls?!?! The guys are off for well over a year. They need to fill their time doing something. I don't see why not. Variety is the spice of life.

The Yukon Blade Grinder Weekend edition 11.15.2013 Santa Barbara, Ca As dawn breaks over Santa Barbara, the local sheriff dept has rounded up the last of wild beasts running wild. The Yukon Blade Grinder is more than happy to report great strides being made regarding the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” cult, and its origins. Always timely and never perspicacious, the Grinder has moved into the driver’s seat taking the lead in reporting the facts of this bizarre case. Bizarre is quite a mild description actually, for Neverland and the “spirits” who communed there specialize in “black helicopter” paranoia. Santa Barbara has seen its share of scandals, but this one looks much darker than its predecessors. Law enforcement has been giving as much information as it can, but still lacks key details. Trying to understand the nature and modus operandi has been difficult to ascertain because of the unknown background of the alleged perpetrators, but our knowledge is growing. Keeping an ever-watchful eye, the Yukon Blade Grinder scored big by landing the first interview of the “Seven Cities of Gold” dancers since their release. Posting a $5 million dollar bond for the dancers, Hustler magnate Larry Flint was being more than opportunistic as he rolled onto the scene, by commanding the price of $10,000 for the chance to ask the question the world is dying to ask—WTF is going on? Well, Santa Barbara Sheriff Ron Howard has been consistent in sharing what he does and doesn’t know. After two mind blowing press conferences, he’s ready to tackle the impossible and offer more clues about the cult figure, Rush Goober. There has been an overwhelming presence of media outlets just waiting to discover more about this man, and Sheriff Howard is ready to start today’s briefing. Here’s the official transcript: Sheriff Howard: Before I get started I’d like to say thank you to all the volunteers who were with us all night, catching the last of the escaped animals. Just to give an example of the difficulty of our task, we’ve had to deal with spider monkeys, rhinos, giraffes, and zebras. A hurdle that we had to overcome was the language barrier. None of the animals understand English, apparently because all of the zoological experts employed by Neverland Ranch are from the jungles of New Guinea. They trained the animals in their native tongue. But, we overcame that by killing and grilling the large birds. The animals saw that and fell in line quickly. Amazing what a little negative reinforcement can do. A new development is the release of the Seven Cities of Gold dancers. They have been charged with criminal trespassing and obstructing justice. Bail had been set at $5 million dollars. Mr. Larry Flynt, the publisher of Hustler magazine, has paid that. Travel restrictions have been put in place, and they appear to be enjoying their new accoutrement, namely GPS tracking collars. At this point, all I can say about their situation is that Mr. Flynt has plans for them after the trial, “freedom isn’t free” as they say. Now for the leader of the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” cult, Rush Goober. He’s been charged with several serious crimes. Trespassing. Obstructing Justice. Cruelty to Animals, and this is a biggie in Canada—Impersonating a Rush Fan. We’ve learned that Goober and the dancers have a previous connection. Rush employed them all before the Clockwork Angels tour. During that time, relationships were developed and then relationships soured. A sort of alienation took place between the band and cast, but that’s another conversation. In regards to Goober and his connection with Michael Jackson, it was both professional and private. You all know he was a lyricist for Mr. Jackson. Now we’ve learned of his ancillary duties at Neverland Ranch. He conducted tours. Washed cars. Fed animals. In regards to Mr. Jackson’s nose, and how Goober came to possess it, we cannot divulge that information at this point due to pending legal action by the estate of Michael Jackson. With that said, let’s open the floor to questions. Cosmopolitan Magazine: Any word on the dancer’s post-trial commitment to Mr. Flynt in exchange for bail? Sheriff Howard: I have no idea of that. Pretty sure it’ll be on their backs though. Next question. National Geographic Magazine: What steps did you take to engage the animals in their native tongue? Sheriff Howard: Can’t believe you even have a job…next. David Fricke, RollingStone Magazine: Has Anthem Entertainment told you the reason for the dismissal of the perpetrators from their employers? Sheriff Howard: It stemmed from several physical altercations at Mr. Alex Lifeson’s bar called The Orbit Room. It was in the VIP section. Apparently a huge fight broke out during a “Battle of the Bands” competition before the tour started. Two lawsuits emerged from that melee, one from John Cleese, and the other from Werner Herzog. I have no other information regarding those two individuals. The Yukon Blade Grinder: You said that Goober is being charged with “impersonating a Rush fan”, what evidence is there to support that charge? Sheriff Howard: All you have to do is log on to The Rush Forum and just read the shit he puts out. Evidence shows he constantly rails against the band's music and abilities, yet claims to be a huge fan. The Yukon Blade Grinder: Ok, but do you have anything more specific? Sheriff Howard: Yes, well just one example is enough. Before the release of Clockwork Angels, RollingStone put out an exclusive early release of the hit song “Headlong Flight”. Just read what he had to say about that song. Unthinkable. He said it was a “chore” to actually play it. Isn’t that messed up? Just read what he has to say about Vapor Trails, I get chills when I think about it. There’s your proof. Thanks for showing up guys…we’ll have DNA results next week. Have a good weekend --end transcript-- The low hanging fruit has been picked and now we find ourselves climbing for the good stuff—the juicy stuff. That means getting into the world of the “Seven Cities of Gold” dancers. Salivation and consternation are sure to rear their heads. We find ourselves going back to the past to revisit the ill-fated days before the great Clockwork Angels World Tour. What will it tells us about Goobs? What will it tell us about the dancers? What will it tell us about Michael Jackson’s nose? Those questions and more will be answered as the Yukon Blade Grinder brings you the exclusive interview with the former vixens of Canada’s number one export.