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Domino's Replies to Man Who Claims He Burned His ____ on a pizza


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#41 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:24 PM

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:42 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 01:39 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:38 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 08:49 AM, said:

View PostChronos, on 25 February 2014 - 08:31 PM, said:


:eh:
:blink:
:o
:beathorse: :lol:

Wait... what... Donny Osmond?!   :o

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#42 Narps

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:26 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:24 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:42 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 01:39 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:38 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 08:49 AM, said:

View PostChronos, on 25 February 2014 - 08:31 PM, said:


:eh:
:blink:
:o
:beathorse: :lol:

Wait... what... Donny Osmond?!   :o
That was a good 1. He looks awful young too.... :)

#43 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:47 PM

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 03:26 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:24 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:42 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 01:39 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:38 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 08:49 AM, said:

View PostChronos, on 25 February 2014 - 08:31 PM, said:


:eh:
:blink:
:o
:beathorse: :lol:

Wait... what... Donny Osmond?!   :o
That was a good 1. He looks awful young too.... :)

And that knife..!   :scared:

#44 KennyLee

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:58 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:47 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 03:26 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:24 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:42 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 01:39 PM, said:

View PostNarpzilla, on 26 February 2014 - 01:38 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 26 February 2014 - 08:49 AM, said:

View PostChronos, on 25 February 2014 - 08:31 PM, said:


:eh:
:blink:
:o
:beathorse: :lol:

Wait... what... Donny Osmond?!   :o
That was a good 1. He looks awful young too.... :)

And that knife..!   :scared:

Made me cringe, too even though I don't have a ... sheath... shall we say?

#45 Xanadoood

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 05:00 PM

I've only attempted this with a Subway 5 dollar footlong

Edited by Xanadoood, 26 February 2014 - 05:00 PM.


#46 HomesickAlien

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 11:03 PM

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 25 February 2014 - 09:41 PM, said:

At the risk of taking this thread further into the gutter:

7 Bizarre Items That Were Lodged in. . .


:outtahere:

#47 Cygnus 2112

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 11:10 PM

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 26 February 2014 - 11:03 PM, said:

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 25 February 2014 - 09:41 PM, said:

At the risk of taking this thread further into the gutter:

7 Bizarre Items That Were Lodged in. . .


:outtahere:
Concrete?  What did he expect to happen with it?

#48 Babycat

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 12:47 AM

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 26 February 2014 - 11:10 PM, said:

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 26 February 2014 - 11:03 PM, said:

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 25 February 2014 - 09:41 PM, said:

At the risk of taking this thread further into the gutter:

7 Bizarre Items That Were Lodged in. . .


:outtahere:
Concrete?  What did he expect to happen with it?

The only one I've ever heard of was about Ryan shoving that car up his butt in Jackass. Painful to watch too.

#49 Mara

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 11:49 AM

View PostRushAreAwesome, on 25 February 2014 - 06:51 PM, said:

I know of a lad who experimented with a hoover - it got stuck, and he had to go to the hospital like that.

About 20 years ago there was an incident at a hotel in my hometown (Atlanta) involving a late night skinny dip in the pool and the intake for the pool filter pump.  Dude was naked, alone, and the intake was waist-high in the water and had some powerful suction.

He ended up having to scream for help and wake up all of the hotel's occupants in his efforts to get the attention of the night management.   Seems that once he succeeded in mating with the pool filter, things became swollen and stuck and he was unable to extricate himself.  Merely turning the filter off didn't work either, and it was only with the aid of the fire department and a jackhammer that they were able to free him.

This was in the days before Youtube and all the other social media, of course, but the local radio stations had a field day with it.

Most guys I know would have probably just drowned themselves rather than endure that humiliation.

#50 Babycat

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 11:58 AM

View PostMara, on 27 February 2014 - 11:49 AM, said:

View PostRushAreAwesome, on 25 February 2014 - 06:51 PM, said:

I know of a lad who experimented with a hoover - it got stuck, and he had to go to the hospital like that.

About 20 years ago there was an incident at a hotel in my hometown (Atlanta) involving a late night skinny dip in the pool and the intake for the pool filter pump.  Dude was naked, alone, and the intake was waist-high in the water and had some powerful suction.

He ended up having to scream for help and wake up all of the hotel's occupants in his efforts to get the attention of the night management.   Seems that once he succeeded in mating with the pool filter, things became swollen and stuck and he was unable to extricate himself.  Merely turning the filter off didn't work either, and it was only with the aid of the fire department and a jackhammer that they were able to free him.

This was in the days before Youtube and all the other social media, of course, but the local radio stations had a field day with it.

Most guys I know would have probably just drowned themselves rather than endure that humiliation.

Bet that must have been really embarrassing......   :o

#51 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 12:10 PM

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 11:58 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
I know! Maybe she just really wanted a three-way.

That was in poor taste. I'm sorry.
Makes me think of Scrubs... they walk in on an x-ray showing a guy with a lightbulb up his ass...
Dr. Cox: I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

#52 HomesickAlien

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 12:55 PM

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 26 February 2014 - 11:10 PM, said:

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 26 February 2014 - 11:03 PM, said:

View Postsubstancewithoutstyle, on 25 February 2014 - 09:41 PM, said:

At the risk of taking this thread further into the gutter:

7 Bizarre Items That Were Lodged in. . .


:outtahere:
Concrete?  What did he expect to happen with it?

The concrete up the butt story has been circulating for quite some time. I heard about it at least 10 years ago, but just assumed it was an urban myth. I guess it actually happened:

http://curezone.us/f...am.asp?i=464986

Now I have to delete my search history.

#53 Mara

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 12:56 PM

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 27 February 2014 - 12:10 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 11:58 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
I know! Maybe she just really wanted a three-way.

That was in poor taste. I'm sorry.
Makes me think of Scrubs... they walk in on an x-ray showing a guy with a lightbulb up his ass...
Dr. Cox: I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

The story in the emergency room is always that the patient "fell on" whatever object he's got lodged up his ass.  I stumbled on a forum for ER professional staff once and spent an afternoon reading some of the hilarity.  One intern said that the most important thing he learned from working in an ER is to NEVER leave any round or cylindrical object, like a shampoo bottle, lightbulb, or vacuum cleaner extension wand on the floor, because you WILL slip and fall butt-first on it and it'll get stuck in your rectum.

#54 1-0-0-1-0-0-1

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 02:31 PM

View PostMara, on 27 February 2014 - 12:56 PM, said:

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 27 February 2014 - 12:10 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 11:58 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
I know! Maybe she just really wanted a three-way.

That was in poor taste. I'm sorry.
Makes me think of Scrubs... they walk in on an x-ray showing a guy with a lightbulb up his ass...
Dr. Cox: I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

The story in the emergency room is always that the patient "fell on" whatever object he's got lodged up his ass.  I stumbled on a forum for ER professional staff once and spent an afternoon reading some of the hilarity.  One intern said that the most important thing he learned from working in an ER is to NEVER leave any round or cylindrical object, like a shampoo bottle, lightbulb, or vacuum cleaner extension wand on the floor, because you WILL slip and fall butt-first on it and it'll get stuck in your rectum.

When a conversation about a brand of pizza turns into THIS...well, that's not a brand of pizza you should be eating.

#55 treeduck

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 02:38 PM

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
Well the lightbulb went off in their head and and being very literal thinkers they went and got a real lightbulb...

#56 Narps

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 02:52 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 27 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
Well the lightbulb went off in their head and and being very literal thinkers they went and got a real lightbulb...
I could see where the threaded end of the bulb might be of some use but the glass end.... :sarcastic:

#57 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 02:56 PM

View Post1-0-0-1-0-0-1, on 27 February 2014 - 02:31 PM, said:

View PostMara, on 27 February 2014 - 12:56 PM, said:

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 27 February 2014 - 12:10 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 11:58 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
I know! Maybe she just really wanted a three-way.

That was in poor taste. I'm sorry.
Makes me think of Scrubs... they walk in on an x-ray showing a guy with a lightbulb up his ass...
Dr. Cox: I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

The story in the emergency room is always that the patient "fell on" whatever object he's got lodged up his ass.  I stumbled on a forum for ER professional staff once and spent an afternoon reading some of the hilarity.  One intern said that the most important thing he learned from working in an ER is to NEVER leave any round or cylindrical object, like a shampoo bottle, lightbulb, or vacuum cleaner extension wand on the floor, because you WILL slip and fall butt-first on it and it'll get stuck in your rectum.

When a conversation about a brand of pizza turns into THIS...well, that's not a brand of pizza you should be eating.
Posted Image

#58 1-0-0-1-0-0-1

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 02:59 PM

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 27 February 2014 - 02:56 PM, said:

View Post1-0-0-1-0-0-1, on 27 February 2014 - 02:31 PM, said:

View PostMara, on 27 February 2014 - 12:56 PM, said:

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 27 February 2014 - 12:10 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 11:58 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
I know! Maybe she just really wanted a three-way.

That was in poor taste. I'm sorry.
Makes me think of Scrubs... they walk in on an x-ray showing a guy with a lightbulb up his ass...
Dr. Cox: I don't know what to tell you, there, Bobbo. Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.

The story in the emergency room is always that the patient "fell on" whatever object he's got lodged up his ass.  I stumbled on a forum for ER professional staff once and spent an afternoon reading some of the hilarity.  One intern said that the most important thing he learned from working in an ER is to NEVER leave any round or cylindrical object, like a shampoo bottle, lightbulb, or vacuum cleaner extension wand on the floor, because you WILL slip and fall butt-first on it and it'll get stuck in your rectum.

When a conversation about a brand of pizza turns into THIS...well, that's not a brand of pizza you should be eating.
Posted Image

Hey, Assman!

#59 ThatLightInYourEyes

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Posted 01 March 2014 - 02:21 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 27 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View Postbillybobjoe1881, on 25 February 2014 - 09:36 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 05:05 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 25 February 2014 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostJanie, on 25 February 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

You never hear of women doing this. What would the equivalent even be?

Could you imagine going to the OB/GYN and having her pull out a piece of pepperoni, asking what it was doing there? "Pizza was looking so fiiiiiine the other night."

I have heard stories of girls going to the doctor to have broken off carrots removed. People just do weird stuff I guess :huh:
A doctor once told me about how some girl put a lightbulb up there and it shattered.

Why are people... don't put... why... :facepalm: I don't get it.

People and their cut up and burned junk.

A lightbulb?  How could they possibly think that's a good idea?
Well the lightbulb went off in their head and and being very literal thinkers they went and got a real lightbulb...

Considering where their brains obviously are, that theory isn't entirely implausible.

#60 laughedatbytime

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Posted 01 March 2014 - 03:31 PM

Domino's used to suck but it's actually been pretty good for the last year and a half.

You want shitty pizza, try Little Caesar's.




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