Has Rush ever helped you grieve?

[crimsonfrippy]

My dad passed away suddenly this past February from a heart attack. He was in his mid-60s and though he has some health problems this was totally unexpected. He introduced me to all kinds of music when I was growing up- The Beatles, David Bowie, The Who. I introduced him to Rush. He thought it was cool that the guys signed CD booklets that I sent to the venues. Thought it was really nice that they appreciated their fans. Anyway, since he passed away I am constantly listening to Rush. Really do not want to listen to anything else. Maybe it is because of the nice things my dad said about them, I don't know. When I saw them last week in AC it was the first time since my dad's passing that I had fun, like I felt that I was giving myself permission to have a good time. I know it might not make any sense but since everyone tells me that the first year of a parent's passing is always the hardest; I guess I am hoping that somehow their music will help me cope. Is that weird? Have any of you found their music helpful in coping with your grief?

 

Cheers,

 

frippy

[laughedatbytime]

My father in law died last January. Since then, when I think of him, "The Garden" comes to mind, especially these lyrics...

 

The measure of a life is a measure of love and respect

So hard to earn, so easily burned

In the fullness of time

A garden to nurture and protect

(Its a measure of a life)

The treasure of a life is a measure of love and respect

The way you live,

The gifts that you give

And the fullness of time is the only return that you expect

 

His was a life well led, and a treasure of a life that made a mark on so many, and those marks he left will be passed down for generations.

[crimsonfrippy]

My father in law died last January. Since then, when I think of him, "The Garden" comes to mind, especially these lyrics...

 

The measure of a life is a measure of love and respect

So hard to earn, so easily burned

In the fullness of time

A garden to nurture and protect

(Its a measure of a life)

The treasure of a life is a measure of love and respect

The way you live,

The gifts that you give

And the fullness of time is the only return that you expect

 

His was a life well led, and a treasure of a life that made a mark on so many, and those marks he left will be passed down for generations.

 

Thanks for responding, laughedatbytime.

 

When they played The Garden I had a really hard time keeping my composure. :)

[laughedatbytime]

My father in law died last January. Since then, when I think of him, "The Garden" comes to mind, especially these lyrics...

 

The measure of a life is a measure of love and respect

So hard to earn, so easily burned

In the fullness of time

A garden to nurture and protect

(Its a measure of a life)

The treasure of a life is a measure of love and respect

The way you live,

The gifts that you give

And the fullness of time is the only return that you expect

 

His was a life well led, and a treasure of a life that made a mark on so many, and those marks he left will be passed down for generations.

 

Thanks for responding, laughedatbytime.

 

When they played The Garden I had a really hard time keeping my composure. :)

Me too...:)

[Lorraine]

Frippy, sorry to hear about the sudden death of your Dad. Mine died the same way (suddenly from a heart attack) when I was 17.

 

To answer your question, no. Rush didn't help me, but another band did. Helped me to deal with my father's sudden death and the unexpected and equally sudden death of my best friend who died two days before her 25th birthday.

 

Rush had their first influence on me in 1984. It was a bad year and Grace Under Pressure (an apt album title too) had just come out. Distant Early Warning will always be my favorite Rush song simply because it got me through a very tough year. What Neil meant by his lyrics and what his lyrics meant to me are as different as night and day.

[crimsonfrippy]

Frippy, sorry to hear about the sudden death of your Dad. Mine died the same way (suddenly from a heart attack) when I was 17.

 

To answer your question, no. Rush didn't help me, but another band did. Helped me to deal with my father's sudden death and the unexpected and equally sudden death of my best friend who died two days before her 25th birthday.

 

Rush had their first influence on me in 1984. It was a bad year and Grace Under Pressure (an apt album title too) had just come out. Distant Early Warning will always be my favorite Rush song simply because it got me through a very tough year. What Neil meant by his lyrics and what his lyrics meant to me are as different as night and day.

 

Lorraine, thanks for your reply. So sorry that you lost your dad when you were so young. I am 42 so I keep saying to myself that I had alot more time with my dad then many people do. I lived so far away from him since I have been married over the last 18 years but at least I did get to see him at Christmas. I find myself listening to Grace Under Pressure alot lately.

[Babycat]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, frippy...

[crimsonfrippy]

Thank you, Babycat! Nice to know you guys are out there for me. :)

 

Cheers,

 

frippy

[circumstantial tree]

In 1984, "Between the Wheels" was played often after someone I cared about moved away. While this was not a death, it felt like one, and I was suicidal at the time because of it. I can't listen to that song without taking a mental trip back to that year.

[Citizen of the World]

Frippy, Rush helped me deal with a different type of grief from what you are suffering. In 2000 my wife of 12 years suddenly told me she wanted out. I was devastated as it came as a complete surprise to me. She went on having a great time while I went into a significant depression and did nothing but work. In 2002 Vapor Trails came out and the song Secret Touch. It described me perfectly, out of touch and out of sync with life. That song kick started me back to becoming the person that I had been before. I started getting out and allowing myself to have fun, which in turn led me to the secret touch on my heart who is my present partner.

 

I realize that we have different situations but from what you wrote it seems that you are struggling to move on after the loss of your Dad. Secret Touch was one of the songs written after the death of Neils' daughter and wife and I believe was his story of moving on. It sounds like you had a great relationship with your Dad (you're lucky). He would want you to move on and be having fun.

 

The way out is the way in.

[Garden Dancer]

Music in general has helped me through grieving.

Rush n some situations, my other favourite man in other times.

I think that the way music touches so deep, is also how it helps us to heal and work through things like grief.

[gangsterfurious]

My Grandma just died on Wednesday. She had been in the hospital for nearly three weeks because of a growth in her throat that started to grow at a rapid pace, which took her ability to breathe on her own. Anyway, long story short, we knew what she wanted and didn't want and her tube was removed right in front of me.

 

Geddy's voice was the ONLY thing keeping me together. Especially his solo album.

 

(I wanted to come back and edit this, I did have my husband, mother, and uncle to help keep me together but it was listening to Geddy, or Rush when I was alone, driving, or trying to get though the past three weeks, that helped me keep it together)

Edited May 19, 2013 by gangsterfurious

[crimsonfrippy]

Citizen and Garden Dancer, thank you. Gangster, I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping good thoughts for you and your family.

 

[Chicken hawk]

All the time. Hearing them makes something inside come alive and i get fuzzy. :geddy:

[Rhyta]

My Grandma just died on Wednesday. She had been in the hospital for nearly three weeks because of a growth in her throat that started to grow at a rapid pace, which took her ability to breathe on her own. Anyway, long story short, we knew what she wanted and didn't want and her tube was removed right in front of me.

 

Geddy's voice was the ONLY thing keeping me together. Especially his solo album.

 

(I wanted to come back and edit this, I did have my husband, mother, and uncle to help keep me together but it was listening to Geddy, or Rush when I was alone, driving, or trying to get though the past three weeks, that helped me keep it together)

 

So sorry for your loss and for your's too Frippy :(

[Blue J]

Music in general has helped me through grieving.

Rush n some situations, my other favourite man in other times.

I think that the way music touches so deep, is also how it helps us to heal and work through things like grief.

 

I feel the same. Rush helped through the first big dark period of grief in my life, from 1986 to '90 or so, and there are a couple of other specific albums by other bands that are in there, as well. (I'm not willing to specify exactly what it was that i was going through here, because it would spoil some things I'm going to post later on)...

 

So sorry to hear about everybody's losses, recent or otherwise. But we're all in it together, it seems. And that's a good thing!

[crimsonfrippy]

My Grandma just died on Wednesday. She had been in the hospital for nearly three weeks because of a growth in her throat that started to grow at a rapid pace, which took her ability to breathe on her own. Anyway, long story short, we knew what she wanted and didn't want and her tube was removed right in front of me.

 

Geddy's voice was the ONLY thing keeping me together. Especially his solo album.

 

(I wanted to come back and edit this, I did have my husband, mother, and uncle to help keep me together but it was listening to Geddy, or Rush when I was alone, driving, or trying to get though the past three weeks, that helped me keep it together)

 

So sorry for your loss and for your's too Frippy :(

 

Thank you, Rhyta. It is appreciated. Blue J, you are right. I guess we are all in it together and that is a good thing. :)

[Lorraine]

My Grandma just died on Wednesday. She had been in the hospital for nearly three weeks because of a growth in her throat that started to grow at a rapid pace, which took her ability to breathe on her own. Anyway, long story short, we knew what she wanted and didn't want and her tube was removed right in front of me.

 

Geddy's voice was the ONLY thing keeping me together. Especially his solo album.

 

(I wanted to come back and edit this, I did have my husband, mother, and uncle to help keep me together but it was listening to Geddy, or Rush when I was alone, driving, or trying to get though the past three weeks, that helped me keep it together)

 

Sorry to hear about your grandmother, Gangster. Isn't it amazing how music can give us strength and keep us keeping on through the worst?

[Phantom]

My dad passed away suddenly this past February from a heart attack. He was in his mid-60s and though he has some health problems this was totally unexpected. He introduced me to all kinds of music when I was growing up- The Beatles, David Bowie, The Who. I introduced him to Rush. He thought it was cool that the guys signed CD booklets that I sent to the venues. Thought it was really nice that they appreciated their fans. Anyway, since he passed away I am constantly listening to Rush. Really do not want to listen to anything else. Maybe it is because of the nice things my dad said about them, I don't know. When I saw them last week in AC it was the first time since my dad's passing that I had fun, like I felt that I was giving myself permission to have a good time. I know it might not make any sense but since everyone tells me that the first year of a parent's passing is always the hardest; I guess I am hoping that somehow their music will help me cope. Is that weird? Have any of you found their music helpful in coping with your grief?

 

Cheers,

 

frippy

 

Sorry to hear Frippy. My best to you.

 

Having lost my mother close to 20 years ago, in my own experience, the first year was the toughest. If I learned anything from the experience, it was that for me, I had to make sure not to try to avoid the sense of loss, and to accept the pain I was going through (as difficult as it was). I grieved for a long time for my mother, and some people wondered if I'd ever get over it. It was so awful at some points, but I made a conscious decision just to accept what I was feeling, and not to hurry myself through the grief... I believe that it helped me in the long run, as eventually, I came to feel so much better. Now when I think of my mother, I have only the fondest of memories. It's my hope that you're comforted by those who care most about you and your family, and that your father rests eternally in peace and dignity.

[crimsonfrippy]

My dad passed away suddenly this past February from a heart attack. He was in his mid-60s and though he has some health problems this was totally unexpected. He introduced me to all kinds of music when I was growing up- The Beatles, David Bowie, The Who. I introduced him to Rush. He thought it was cool that the guys signed CD booklets that I sent to the venues. Thought it was really nice that they appreciated their fans. Anyway, since he passed away I am constantly listening to Rush. Really do not want to listen to anything else. Maybe it is because of the nice things my dad said about them, I don't know. When I saw them last week in AC it was the first time since my dad's passing that I had fun, like I felt that I was giving myself permission to have a good time. I know it might not make any sense but since everyone tells me that the first year of a parent's passing is always the hardest; I guess I am hoping that somehow their music will help me cope. Is that weird? Have any of you found their music helpful in coping with your grief?

 

Cheers,

 

frippy

 

Sorry to hear Frippy. My best to you.

 

Having lost my mother close to 20 years ago, in my own experience, the first year was the toughest. If I learned anything from the experience, it was that for me, I had to make sure not to try to avoid the sense of loss, and to accept the pain I was going through (as difficult as it was). I grieved for a long time for my mother, and some people wondered if I'd ever get over it. It was so awful at some points, but I made a conscious decision just to accept what I was feeling, and not to hurry myself through the grief... I believe that it helped me in the long run, as eventually, I came to feel so much better. Now when I think of my mother, I have only the fondest of memories. It's my hope that you're comforted by those who care most about you and your family, and that your father rests eternally in peace and dignity.

 

Phantom, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I really appreciate it. All of my friends and my husband still have both of their parents so I really do not have anyone who understands exactly what I am going through. Your words mean alot and I am going to try what helped you- accept what I am feeling and not hurry myself. I have to remind myself it only happened 3 months ago. Thanks again.

 

Thanks again to all you guys. :)

 

Cheers,

 

frippy

[Phantom]

No problem Frippy. Hope you're doing well.

 

Recently, I read something about an elderly woman recounting something that her husband told her as he was close to passing.

 

She asked him how she was supposed to live without him, and he replied: "Take the love you have for me and spread it around ".

 

As tough as life can be sometimes, I think thats important for all of us to remember.

Edited May 25, 2013 by Phantom

[crimsonfrippy]

No problem Frippy. Hope you're doing well.

 

Recently, I read something about an elderly woman recounting something that her husband told her as he was close to passing.

 

She asked him how she was supposed to live without him, and he replied: "Take the love you have for me and spread it around ".

 

As tough as life can be sometimes, I think thats important for all of us to remember.

 

Phantom, yes I am doing pretty well.

 

I really like the story you relayed. It is so perfect and is just what my father would have said had he had the chance to speak to us. That is the type of man he was.

 

Thanks again,

 

frippy

[Phantom]

I'm glad you're doing well. You'll be honoring your father everytime you practise acts of kindness, and everytime you'll do so, his values will live on in this world.

[crimsonfrippy]

I'm glad you're doing well. You'll be honoring your father everytime you practise acts of kindness, and everytime you'll do so, his values will live on in this world.

 

Thank you, Phantom. Your kind words are helping more than you know. :)

[Phantom]

I'm glad you're doing well. You'll be honoring your father everytime you practise acts of kindness, and everytime you'll do so, his values will live on in this world.

 

Thank you, Phantom. Your kind words are helping more than you know. :)

 

Keep well Fripp.. Your Dad is proud of you. :)