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Clockwork Angels Tour Leak


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#1 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 07:45 AM



Rush Tour Rehearsal Under Ominous Signs???
yukonbladegrinder.com

June 28, 2012

Music Field Corresponent
By Ahmet Rozier

Clockwork Angels, the 20th studio album from Rush, has blown up the Billboard top ten with a debut at number two. Canada’s favored sons are now gearing up for the tour of the ages by expanding the bands sound to include an orchestra.

The highly secretive tour preparation was taking place downtown Toronto at Maple Leaf Gardens when it was interrupted by an unusual incident. Cellist Manfred Belsorus was ejected from the Gardens abruptly for what he calls “an unfortunate and isolated episode of moronic ecstasy” when he physically confronted unknown conducter Ulee Wrentozek during rehearsal. Belsorus was selected from over 100 musicians for the coveted role of Cellist for one of modern rock’s most storied franchises, and now finds himself unemployed. “No big deal anyway. The band has sold out I promise you!” He said as he walked toward the heavily fortified barricade.

The cellist was expelled from the rehearsal for insubordination to the conductor. When asked why he his services were no longer required he responded bluntly about the orchestra leader. “He’s a ham and egger. An amateur from somewhere in Liechtenstein, I think, is the name of the God forsaken place. He kept reminding us that he went to Julliard and we must learn to understand his accent. Anyway, the stiff can’t get it in this thick head that we can rock too—especially when Ged and Al come over and want us to rock out with them.”

Mr. Belsorus had more to add, “and the idea that we must live with the unsettling booms of steam-pipes when they erupt is bloody maddening. Mr. Ungerleider does enjoy his petty torments I must say, a real mad scientist,” referring to veteran Rush prankster and Lighting Director Howard Ungerleider, “they can keep their $50 bucks a night!”

The band couldn’t be reached for comment, and manager Ray Danniels has been conspicuously absent from the explanation podium.

Outside the loading docks of maple leaf gardens the Yukon Blade Grinder can report that up to 20 women donning red jumpsuits were observed filing in and out, along with some other oddities.

Mr. Belsorus, who is still under contract and cannot divulge sensitive tour information, did offer up this explanation: “Those are kids in the veggie costumes. They hail from the Toronto Urban Resource Development League, TURDLs, as they’ve affectionately been called during the production meeting. All the clowns and pirates are dwarfs. They’ve bestowed a different name for the children. They’re filming a bit in the arena while we rehearsed.”

Manfred continued, “The women are a new one for the band as well. Interpretive dance is an area the band’s exploring…no doubt. The fan base has dramatically expanded in terms of demographics and the fans want this according to the bean counters. I tell you it’s a real madhouse in there…it’s like Time Bandits meets Sesame Street meets Hooter's.”

When asked what’s next for the talented but troubled cellist, he responded, “Triumph and Zebra are having a reunion tour together, I may pursue a role in that somehow.”

Good luck there amigo! You’ll need the magic power of music on your side!




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#2 Todem

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 08:18 AM

Hillarious!!

#3 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 08:43 AM

facepalm.gif


o you want to be known as that kind of poster. I see...

#4 The Killer Rabbit

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 08:44 AM

QUOTE
Time Bandits meets Sesame Street meets Hooter's.”


Awesome post..creative...for those who havent seen Time Bandits, your missing out on an interesting picture here to say the least.

TKR

#5 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (The Killer Rabbit @ Jun 29 2012, 08:44 AM)
QUOTE
Time Bandits meets Sesame Street meets Hooter's.”


Awesome post..creative...for those who havent seen Time Bandits, your missing out on an interesting picture here to say the least.

TKR

the tour should be fun big time...I wonder what the pirates call the kids?


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#6 FOH Lights

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 02:22 PM

Draw your own conclusions...

Edited by FOH Lights, 29 June 2012 - 02:23 PM.


#7 beherit

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 03:05 PM

SOURCE??????

#8 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 03:49 PM

QUOTE (beherit @ Jun 29 2012, 03:05 PM)
SOURCE??????

The yukon blade grinder...apparently they have an inside scoop!!!!


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#9 Toasted Ghost

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 03:57 PM

Women huh? Wow. I guess that means that 90% of the women at the concert will be on stage at some time!!!


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#10 losingit2k

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 08:29 PM

Interpretive Dance?  ohmy.gif

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  admin.gif

"Don't Jump the Shark, guys!"  fists crying.gif

I would like to See Triumph with Zebra though!

1022.gif  1022.gif  1022.gif

Pretty damn creative though!

trink39.gif  new_thumbsupsmileyanim.gif  applaudit.gif  new_thumbsupsmileyanim.gif  trink39.gif

and Funny!

rofl3.gif  icon_really_happy_guy.gif  z7shysterical.gif  

Edited by losingit2k, 29 June 2012 - 08:31 PM.


#11 Ancient Ways

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 08:35 PM

QUOTE (beherit @ Jun 29 2012, 04:05 PM)
SOURCE??????

You're killing me dude.
Assume this  trink38.gif  is kool aid.

#12 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 09:45 PM

QUOTE (Ancient Ways @ Jun 29 2012, 08:35 PM)
QUOTE (beherit @ Jun 29 2012, 04:05 PM)
SOURCE??????

You're killing me dude.
Assume this  trink38.gif  is kool aid.

Informative reporting from the good ole Yukon!

Going to be a first on so many levels!



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#13 snowdogged

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Posted 29 June 2012 - 09:45 PM

QUOTE (Tombstone Mountain @ Jun 29 2012, 03:49 PM)
QUOTE (beherit @ Jun 29 2012, 03:05 PM)
SOURCE??????

The yukon blade grinder...apparently they have an inside scoop!!!!


trink39.gif

I think that we are sh#t out of luck with confirming the source because I just read that Yukon Blade Grinder was ordered to close down this afternoon. The reason why is still unclear but they mentioned something about midgets and cages?

#14 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 08:14 AM

QUOTE (snowdogged @ Jun 29 2012, 09:45 PM)
QUOTE (Tombstone Mountain @ Jun 29 2012, 03:49 PM)
QUOTE (beherit @ Jun 29 2012, 03:05 PM)
SOURCE??????

The yukon blade grinder...apparently they have an inside scoop!!!!


trink39.gif

I think that we are sh#t out of luck with confirming the source because I just read that Yukon Blade Grinder was ordered to close down this afternoon. The reason why is still unclear but they mentioned something about midgets and cages?

Women in jump suits, children as veggies, and a bit with some dwarfs...promising!!!!


trink39.gif  

#15 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 09:00 AM

QUOTE (losingit2k @ Jun 29 2012, 08:29 PM)
Interpretive Dance?  ohmy.gif

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  admin.gif

"Don't Jump the Shark, guys!"  fists crying.gif

I would like to See Triumph with Zebra though!

1022.gif  1022.gif  1022.gif

Pretty damn creative though!

trink39.gif  new_thumbsupsmileyanim.gif  applaudit.gif  new_thumbsupsmileyanim.gif  trink39.gif

and Funny!

rofl3.gif  icon_really_happy_guy.gif  z7shysterical.gif

Interpretive dance will take rush to the next level in terms of live performance. The Yukon blade grinder has another article coming about the climate of rehearsals, security issues, and turdls and dwarves.  When I find it I'll share...though ancient ways will hate it.  

#16 mazyyz

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 10:25 AM

The cellist was demanding to play Hemispheres and the conductor wouldn't allow it

#17 mazyyz

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 11:00 AM

We should start seeing some leaks on the setlist

#18 FountainOfSyrinx

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 11:03 AM

  laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif

proof that maybe they shouldn't be bringing along an orchestra after all  wink.gif  

#19 sdhonda

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 12:24 PM

I also hear of reports that the world will end later this year.

Edited by sdhonda, 01 July 2012 - 01:30 PM.


#20 mazyyz

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 01:27 PM

QUOTE (FountainOfSyrinx @ Jul 1 2012, 12:03 PM)
laugh.gif  laugh.gif  laugh.gif

proof that maybe they shouldn't be bringing along an orchestra after all  wink.gif

Orchestra should be interesting.  I like the idea.




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