chaotica Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Apr 9 2006, 07:42 PM) QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Apr 9 2006, 04:20 PM)QUOTE (dead burger dave @ Apr 9 2006, 04:08 PM)After 4 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1) The woman buys the food. 2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine.... 5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine..... 8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.... Amen! I bet Carrie Nuttall, Charlene and Nancy Young don't complain That's why Neil wrote: Know your place in life Is where you want to be or Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose If only I could get into the mind of Neil Peart (or the shoes of Carrie Nuttall ) Amen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenJennings Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Why do women hold such grudges? If men have something to deal with, they just get it out of their systems, then drop it. Women don't shut up and form weeklong, monthlong, yearlong, and lifelong divides. I recently got in a shoving match with a friend of mine, and two days later, I heard he wanted a ride home from a party, and went to pick him up. We've been fine since. If we were chicks,i'd be talking behind his back right now, and bickering 24/7. Why stay mad at people? If you're mad at someone, duke it out, and leave the problems there. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted April 10, 2006 Author Share Posted April 10, 2006 QUOTE (KenJennings @ Apr 9 2006, 11:46 PM) Why stay mad at people? If you're mad at someone, duke it out, and leave the problems there. Sheesh. U just Wanna see a Cat Fight any chance u can get & hope theres a bucket of ice water or pudding around at that same time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/snq060413.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Why Men Wear Earrings A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an ear ring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my truck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 good cover up story there lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian Rush Fan Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I would actually call him an idiot, why get married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted April 28, 2006 Author Share Posted April 28, 2006 Apples and Wine Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked! Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian Rush Fan Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ Apr 28 2006, 06:48 AM)Apples and Wine Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked! Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. We may be fine wine and get the shit stomped out of us but you women still swallow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
open secret Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 QUOTE (sundog @ Jun 10 2005, 08:59 AM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/joke6.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnalschick Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 QUOTE (blonde77th @ Apr 29 2006, 09:08 PM) QUOTE (sundog @ Jun 10 2005, 08:59 AM) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v111/sundog918/joke6.jpg That's great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asian Rush Fan Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 Again I repeat, the members of Rush are all MEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blonde77th Posted April 30, 2006 Share Posted April 30, 2006 QUOTE (Asian Rush Fan @ Apr 30 2006, 04:25 AM) Again I repeat, the members of Rush are all MEN NU HUH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh' so she socked me a good one." The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey." But I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you evil self-centered fat-assed b!tch.'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 1 2006, 08:15 AM) A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh' so she socked me a good one." The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey." But I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you evil self-centered fat-assed b!tch.'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaotica Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Been having a fight with my hubby this weekend... it started yesterday and well we already got into it this morn.... I feel horrible and pissed off! I can't remember the last fight we had that lasted this long So I just wanted to get that off my chest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 TheKentuckyBlonde and the Casino: Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Kentucky arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." Moral - Not all Kentuckians are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 QUOTE (Cygnus @ May 1 2006, 02:13 PM) TheKentuckyBlonde and the Casino: Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Kentucky arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching." Moral - Not all Kentuckians are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 QUOTE (chaotica @ May 1 2006, 09:38 AM) Been having a fight with my hubby this weekend... it started yesterday and well we already got into it this morn.... I feel horrible and pissed off! I can't remember the last fight we had that lasted this long So I just wanted to get that off my chest http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c74/kadialin/graphic1.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fendergirl4001 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 boys are stupid. so is my little sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 QUOTE (fendergirl4001 @ May 1 2006, 05:08 PM) boys are stupid. so is my little sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABZ Highlander Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 QUOTE (DonnaWanna @ May 1 2006, 11:07 PM) QUOTE (fendergirl4001 @ May 1 2006, 05:08 PM) boys are stupid. so is my little sister. Don't even go there.................................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeeJ Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours. donna...help...please make sure that if these classes are still offered that my necro is signed up....if a lobotomy is necessary please consult with me first because i don't want certain things to be affected..he does have talents that shouldn't be messed with....also please let me know if you find any classes for slackers....ooops...i mean procrastinators...he really needs help here too... thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 QUOTE (CeeJ @ May 1 2006, 06:46 PM) Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going to be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours. donna...help...please make sure that if these classes are still offered that my necro is signed up....if a lobotomy is necessary please consult with me first because i don't want certain things to be affected..he does have talents that shouldn't be messed with....also please let me know if you find any classes for slackers....ooops...i mean procrastinators...he really needs help here too... thank you Ill send yous a free brochure In the mail Itll have all the Info ull evA need ImAfraidSlackerIsBeyondRepair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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