BeOhBe Bob Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 UNCLE LEO! JERRY! HELLOOOO! (rip Uncle Leo http://www.smileyhut.com/sad/rip.gif ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeOhBe Bob Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 JERRY: Leo, I saw you in Brentano's yesterday. LEO: Why didn't ya say hello? JERRY: Because you were too busy stealing a book. LEO: You still say hello. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 (edited) Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong. Edited February 18, 2011 by J2112YYZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Who goes on vacation without a job? What do ya need a break from getting up at 11? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 And there it was, mountains of duck. And not fatty duck either, but juicy tender breasts of duck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 QUOTE (J2112YYZ @ Feb 17 2011, 11:15 PM) And there it was, mountains of duck. And not fatty duck either, but juicy tender breasts of duck. Elaine's delivery of that makes it GOLD, Jerry....GOLD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 QUOTE (J2112YYZ @ Feb 18 2011, 12:05 AM) Who goes on vacation without a job? What do ya need a break from getting up at 11? One of the best ever!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 You know, sometimes when I think you're the shallowest man I've ever met, you somehow manage to drain a little more out of the pool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1-0-0-1-0-0-1 Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Would you believe, when I was 18, I had a ssssssilver dollar COLLECTION? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Oh don't worry, you'll crack. Cracking's inevitable, first you crack then you chuckle. That was the motto with the Russians at the Caesar Leningrad... first you crack then you chuckle. You know, because Leningrad when the Nazis attacked, it wasn't a very happy time... because of the war, famine, plus it was cold, very cold... they were eating each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReflectedLight Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 naked naked naked! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 (edited) Hey everybody, I'm on no sleep, no sleep!. You don't know what it's like in there, all night long things are creeping and cracking and that red light is burning my brain! Edited February 19, 2011 by J2112YYZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Soup is not a meal Jerry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Yes it is. Soup and sandwich, that is a meal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 Mendys. Its the best Jerry. The best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Oh, by the way George, you know those condoms I gave you? They're defective, don't use them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 KRAMER: But now I have a big problem, buddy. JERRY: What is it? KRAMER: Well, I waited so long I-- I missed my chance. JERRY: You didn't go? KRAMER: No. And now I can't get it back. JERRY: The thing to do is just not think about it. KRAMER: How could you not think about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeOhBe Bob Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Homeless man: That's the guy officer. The guy there in the middle. The tall guy with the, with the high hair. I'd recognize him anywhere. Cop: Hey you, you with the high hair, step forward. Kramer: Me? Edited February 20, 2011 by BeOhBe Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 I'n not treating you to lunch ANYMORE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted February 20, 2011 Author Share Posted February 20, 2011 Jerry: George is pickin' us up at the airport. Elaine: Get out of here! Why? Jerry: You know that awning outside my building? Elaine: Yeah... Jerry: He's always bragging about his vertical leap, so I bet him fifty bucks that he couldn't touch the awning. Elaine: So what happened? Jerry: He didn't come within two feet of the thing. He's wavin at it... So, I told him if he picks us up at the airport, he wouldn't have to pay me anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeOhBe Bob Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 (edited) Kramerica Jerry I'm goin GLOBAL! The oil tanker bladder is our first product. Tell em about it Darin.... Edited February 20, 2011 by BeOhBe Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Well it's not up my alley! It's one thing if I make it up. I know what I'm doin, I know my alleys! You got me in the Galapagos Islands livin' with the turtles, I don't know where the hell I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted February 20, 2011 Share Posted February 20, 2011 Jerry, a throat clear is a non verbal confirmation of doubt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J2112YYZ Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 I'd like to have a kid. Of course you have to have a date first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted February 21, 2011 Share Posted February 21, 2011 Well, as of today I am a proud parent of a one-mile stretch of the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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