Girl Stuff

[GhostGirl]

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 08:06 AM)

QUOTE (FuzzplugJones @ Jul 25 2005, 07:02 AM) You gals have got problems :-)   Oh, really?

[GhostGirl]

"I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being perfectly well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which religion is powerless to bestow."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

All together now: "Ohm......."

[GhostGirl]

"Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly."

~Epictetus

 

 

[Huck]

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 01:59 PM)

QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 01:03 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:07 AM) http://allthatjazzdancewear.co.uk/images/pink%20furry%20boots.jpg Somehow, I knew you'd like these!     Babe, you have to wear those at our wedding

[Dweezil]

QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 11:01 AM)

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 01:59 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 01:03 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:07 AM) http://allthatjazzdancewear.co.uk/images/pink%20furry%20boots.jpg Somehow, I knew you'd like these!     Babe, you have to wear those at our wedding       I will.                     If you wear a skirt.

[Huck]

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:10 PM)

QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 11:01 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 01:59 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 01:03 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:07 AM) http://allthatjazzdancewear.co.uk/images/pink%20furry%20boots.jpg Somehow, I knew you'd like these!     Babe, you have to wear those at our wedding       I will.                     If you wear a skirt.

[Dweezil]

QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 11:11 AM)

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:10 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 11:01 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 01:59 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 01:03 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:07 AM) http://allthatjazzdancewear.co.uk/images/pink%20furry%20boots.jpg Somehow, I knew you'd like these!     Babe, you have to wear those at our wedding       I will.                     If you wear a skirt. I'll wear something else pink like I promised

[Huck]

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:14 PM)

QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 11:11 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:10 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 11:01 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 01:59 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Jul 25 2005, 01:03 AM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 06:07 AM) http://allthatjazzdancewear.co.uk/images/pink%20furry%20boots.jpg Somehow, I knew you'd like these!     Babe, you have to wear those at our wedding       I will.                     If you wear a skirt. I'll wear something else pink like I promised

[Cygnus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/109093.jpg

[Cygnus]

My Wifes new Cell Phone

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/00023283.jpg

[kyracat]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 3 2005, 12:06 PM)

My Wifes new Cell Phone http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/00023283.jpg

I wouldn't mind having that for a cellphone

[sundog]

Hair Removal? *Warning - Strong language! *

 

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time -

my throat is killing me from laughing and my eyes are

all red from crying with laughter.

 

One of women's dilemmas...Getting rid of unwanted hair--

 

One woman's story All methods have tricked me with

their promises of easy, painless removal: the Epilady,

the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the

EpilStop, and now The Wax.

 

My night began as any other normal weekday night. I

came home, fixed dinner for my family and got everyone

settled for the night.

 

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my

mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use

that wax in my medicine cabinet. I made sure no one

would need me and I could head for the bathroom in

peace.

 

It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump

of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your

hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg (or

wherever). No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? I

mean, I'm not the girliest of girls but I'm

mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how

this works.

 

You'd think.

 

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips

facing each other, stuck together. I'm supposed to rub

it in my hand to warm and soften the wax. I go one

better. I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to

ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my ass. (Oh, how that

phrase will come back to haunt me.) I lay the strip

across my thigh.

 

I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't

the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I

can do this! So with my next wax strip, I'll move

north.

After checking on my beloved family again, I sneak

into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting

Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on

the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the

wax strip across the right side on my bikini line,

covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up

into the inside of the right ass cheek.

 

(Yeah, it was a long strip.)

 

I inhale deeply. I brace myself. RRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm

blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh crap. I've

managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. Another

deep breath. And RIIIP!! Everything is swirly and

tie-dyed. Do I hear crashing drums?

 

OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my

trophy -- my wax covered pelt that caused me so much

agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph

over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic

gold medallist. But why is there no hair on it? Why is

the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on

the strip?

 

Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on

the toilet.

 

I see hair -- the hair that should be on the strip. I

touch. I feel.

 

I am touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently

shout.

 

Nooooooo!! I peel my fingers off the softest, most

sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold

wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake --

up until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot

on the toilet. I know I need to move, to do something.

So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear

the slamming of the cell door.

 

Vagina? Sealed shut.

 

Ass? Sealed shut.

 

A little voice in my head says, "I hope you don't have

to shit anytime soon. Your head just might pop off."

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately to

figure out what I should do next. Hot water! Hot water

melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and

get in. The wax should melt and I can gently wipe it

away, right?

 

Wrong. I get in the tub -- the water is slightly

hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or

sterilize surgical equipment -- and I sit.

 

Now the only thing worse than having your goodies

glued together is having them glued together and then

glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water.

 

Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax. So now

I'm stuck in the tub -- literally!

 

I call my friend, Liz, because she once dropped out of

beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge

or trick to get wax off skin. It's never good to start

a conversation with "So my ass and vagina are stuck to

the tub."

 

She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the ass.

"Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She

isn't even trying to hide the giggles now. I give her

the run-down of the entire night.

 

She tells me to call the number on the side of the

box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax

actually is. "You know that if we were working the

help line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their

entire crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold

then record the conversation for everyone we know.

You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet

if you tell them the truth."

 

While we go through various solutions, I have resorted

to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing

feels better to the girlie goodies than covering them

in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and

THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off!

 

In the middle of the conversation (which has

inexplicably turned to Other subjects!) I find the

lotion provided with the wax to remove the excess. I

rub some in and start screaming "It's working! It's

working!" I get hearty congratulations from Liz and we

hang up. I successfully remove all the wax and notice,

to my dismay, that the hair is still there. So I

shaved the damned stuff off.

 

Hell, I was numb by that point anyway.

 

I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet.

Never know when a moustache might start to come in.

 

Tonight, I attempt hair dying.

 

[Rolinda Bonz]

[Cygnus]

The Ideal Toilet For Women

 

 

 

 

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/2094.jpg

[CanEHdian]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Aug 17 2005, 05:02 PM)

The Ideal Toilet For Women http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/2094.jpg

 

[ramonesmom]

QUOTE (sundog @ Aug 16 2005, 09:08 PM)

Hair Removal? *Warning - Strong language! * This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time - my throat is killing me from laughing and my eyes are all red from crying with laughter. One of women's dilemmas...Getting rid of unwanted hair-- One woman's story All methods have tricked me with their promises of easy, painless removal: the Epilady, the standard razor, the scissors, the Nair, the EpilStop, and now The Wax. My night began as any other normal weekday night. I came home, fixed dinner for my family and got everyone settled for the night. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next couple hours: maybe I should use that wax in my medicine cabinet. I made sure no one would need me and I could head for the bathroom in peace. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the clear strips in your hand, peel them apart, press it on your leg (or wherever). No muss, no fuss. How hard can this be? I mean, I'm not the girliest of girls but I'm mechanically inclined so maybe I can figure out how this works. You'd think. So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other, stuck together. I'm supposed to rub it in my hand to warm and soften the wax. I go one better. I pull out the hair dryer and heat the SOB to ten thousand degrees. Cold wax, my ass. (Oh, how that phrase will come back to haunt me.) I lay the strip across my thigh. I hold the skin around it and pull. OK, so it wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it wasn't bad. I can do this! So with my next wax strip, I'll move north. After checking on my beloved family again, I sneak into the bathroom for The Ultimate Hair Fighting Championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I then apply the wax strip across the right side on my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching up into the inside of the right ass cheek. (Yeah, it was a long strip.) I inhale deeply. I brace myself. RRRIIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind from the pain! Vision returning. Oh crap. I've managed to pull off half an inch of the strip. Another deep breath. And RIIIP!! Everything is swirly and tie-dyed. Do I hear crashing drums? OK, coming back to normal again. I want to see my trophy -- my wax covered pelt that caused me so much agony. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold the wax strip like an Olympic gold medallist. But why is there no hair on it? Why is the wax mostly gone? Where could the wax go, if not on the strip? Slowly, I eased my head down, my foot still perched on the toilet. I see hair -- the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I feel. I am touching wax. I look to the ceiling and silently shout. Nooooooo!! I peel my fingers off the softest, most sensitive part of my body that is now covered in cold wax and matted hair, and make the next big mistake -- up until this point, you'll remember, I've had my foot on the toilet. I know I need to move, to do something. So I put my foot down on the floor. And then I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Ass? Sealed shut. A little voice in my head says, "I hope you don't have to shit anytime soon. Your head just might pop off." I penguin walk around the bathroom trying desperately to figure out what I should do next. Hot water! Hot water melts wax! I'll run the hottest water I can stand and get in. The wax should melt and I can gently wipe it away, right? Wrong. I get in the tub -- the water is slightly hotter than is used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment -- and I sit. Now the only thing worse than having your goodies glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of a tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, does not melt the cold wax. So now I'm stuck in the tub -- literally! I call my friend, Liz, because she once dropped out of beauty school so surely she has some secret knowledge or trick to get wax off skin. It's never good to start a conversation with "So my ass and vagina are stuck to the tub." She wants to know exactly where the wax is on the ass. "Are we talking cheek or hole, here?" she asks. She isn't even trying to hide the giggles now. I give her the run-down of the entire night. She tells me to call the number on the side of the box, but to have a good cover story for where the wax actually is. "You know that if we were working the help line at XX Wax Co. and somebody called with their entire crack sealed shut we'd just put them on hold then record the conversation for everyone we know. You're going to end up on a radio show or the internet if you tell them the truth." While we go through various solutions, I have resorted to scraping the wax off with a razor. Boy, nothing feels better to the girlie goodies than covering them in wax, sticking them to a tub in super hot water and THEN dry shaving the sticky wax off! In the middle of the conversation (which has inexplicably turned to Other subjects!) I find the lotion provided with the wax to remove the excess. I rub some in and start screaming "It's working! It's working!" I get hearty congratulations from Liz and we hang up. I successfully remove all the wax and notice, to my dismay, that the hair is still there. So I shaved the damned stuff off. Hell, I was numb by that point anyway. I put the box of wax back in my medicine cabinet. Never know when a moustache might start to come in. Tonight, I attempt hair dying.

can I put enough ?

OMG, I need to...

[ramonesmom]

QUOTE (dweezil @ Jul 25 2005, 12:07 AM)

http://allthatjazzdancewear.co.uk/images/pink%20furry%20boots.jpg

Where do you find this stuff?

[Cygnus]

REAL "MULTI-TASKING" FOR TODAY"S WOMAN

 

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/8803.jpg

[Cygnus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/2110.jpg

[Cygnus]

Want In A Man

Want in a Man, Original List

 

1. Handsome

2. Charming

3. Financially successful

4. A caring listener

5. Witty

6. In good shape

7. Dresses with style

8. Appreciates finer things

9. Full of thoughtful surprises

10. An imaginative, romantic lover

 

Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

 

1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)

2. Opens car doors, holds chairs

3. Has enough money for a nice dinner

4. Listens more than talks

5. Laughs at my jokes

6. Carries bags of groceries with ease

7. Owns at least one tie

8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal

9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

10. Seeks romance at least once a week

 

Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

 

1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)

2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car

3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally

4. Nods head when I'm talking

5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes

6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture

7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach

8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids

9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down

10. Shaves most weekends

 

Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

 

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed

2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public

3. Doesn't borrow money too often

4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting

5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times

6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends

7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear

8. Appreciates a good TV dinner

9. Remembers your name on occasion

10. Shaves some weekends

 

Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

 

1. Doesn't scare small children

2. Remembers where bathroom is

3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep

4. Only snores lightly when asleep

5. Remembers why he's laughing

6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself

7. Usually wears some clothes

8. Likes soft foods

9. Remembers where he left his teeth

10. Remembers that it's the weekend

 

Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

 

1. Breathing

2. Doesn't miss the toilet

[Cygnus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/hemotecontrol_2.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/shemotecontrol_2.jpg

[Cygnus]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/1205.jpg

[sullysue]

QUOTE (Cygnus @ Sep 6 2005, 12:00 PM)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/1205.jpg

Maybe I shouldn't laugh, but this is funnier n' hell.

 

 

[sundog]

My car has a name.

[DonnaWanna]

wonder whats these go for nowadayz, if u wanted to buy a pair

http://www.yesalbum.com/v001/d_l_g/109825.gif