kazzman Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Ok guys, you know you're guilty of some of these... Raising Boys-- a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding): 1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Rat Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Rat Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 ... Hi, Dweezil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sundog Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Kazz this is sooooooooo funny - but I hope I don't find any of these things out the hard way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonraker Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 QUOTE (kazzman @ Feb 22 2005, 08:33 PM) 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. Is that so Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyrob Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 QUOTE (kazzman @ Feb 22 2005, 11:33 PM)Ok guys, you know you're guilty of some of these... Raising Boys-- a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control. The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas... Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding): 1.) A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh oh", it's already too late. 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies. 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy. 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12.) Super glue is forever. 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB&J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is. 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens. 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. 25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids. I also found out (my ex had two boys, and I brought them up from ages 7 & 5 to 14 & 12): Toast actually doesn't play very well in the video player When washing the car, it isn't a good idea to stand on it whist doing it...especially wearing Football boots (soccer) ....."no, you can't do it again" In the course of bringing up boys, you will get through approximately 250 footballs and 120 pairs of trainers. Dried mud is an art form. Playstation games are reality! 14-year old boys only know two words: "Ug!" and "Money!" (pronounced muh'ni) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowdog Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 As father to an 11 year old and 8 year old, both boys, I can attest to the accuracy of this list Thank goodness I haven't experienced all of these things (yet! ). I try and remember all of the stupid things I did as a kid and that keeps me from getting too mad at them. It's just inherit. It's in their genes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 QUOTE (rickyrob @ Feb 23 2005, 07:56 AM)In the course of bringing up boys, you will get through approximately 250 footballs and 120 pairs of trainers. Dried mud is an art form. Playstation games are reality! 14-year old boys only know two words: "Ug!" and "Money!" (pronounced muh'ni) That's so true rickyrob!! My son has always been better behaved than I was when a child and definately has more common sense than I have now! He's always telling me off, I sometimes wonder who the child is stupid son always bloody right huh mumble mumble. He even beats me at Madden now mumble, always on my PC online gaming mumble, can't get on TRF mumble mumble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit of radio Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Boys will be boys. I've expirienced a few of these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Thank goodies me gots girlies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetmiracle Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 QUOTE (Alsgalpal @ Feb 23 2005, 10:21 AM) Thank goodies me gots girlies. Girls have their own challenges....the 'tea and sympathy' years (10-16) are so wild.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 QUOTE (kazzman @ Feb 22 2005, 11:33 PM) 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. I've seen this a few times now, and every time, I really want to try mixing those together to see if it's true. Does this mean I'm an adolescent or pre-pubescent boy? (BTW - I've never tried it - my hubby would kill me!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let The Fray Begin Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Thankfully, I don't actually have any Clorox at the moment, or mixing it with brake fluid would seem like a perfect way to start Wednesday off right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazzman Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 QUOTE (Let The Fray Begin @ Feb 23 2005, 01:47 PM) Thankfully, I don't actually have any Clorox at the moment, or mixing it with brake fluid would seem like a perfect way to start Wednesday off right Which is exactly what every guy in my drafting class is going to do when they get home today... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
esmeralda Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 boys... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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