Fear

[JohnnyBlaze]

For those who are uncomfortable in small social situations, what is it exactly about those situations that make them uncomfortable?

A hate for small talk. I'm funny that way.

 

Seriously, I dread feeling like I have to feign interest in the mundane things people feel compelled to share. If there's a topic that's more intellectual, I have no problem engaging.

 

Isn’t a lot of TRF small talk? That is, polls on favorite songs or bands, movies, etc....don’t they fit into small talk? Or are they so specific that you don’t consider them small talk?

Funny I have no problem "conversing" by text or on line. In person I am shy and introverted - unless alcohol or something else is involved.

 

I understand. Text or online gives a certain level of anonymity.

And an opportunity to gather one's thoughts.

 

Very true too.

 

You guys wouldn’t have done TRF chat when it existed on here? Or maybe you have done it and I’m assuming?

I did a couple of DPR's SOCN death match chats, but that's about it. As a format, chat is a bit too chatty for me.

 

DPR always seemed so desperate to make you believe that he was correct and you were wrong.

 

The only time I didn’t see DPR pissed off was a few posts when he was talking about Dungeons and Dragons.

[IbanezJem]

I fear living the rest of my life in pain. I have problems with my back. I have to keep working to survive. i pray every day to God to help me.

I feel very similarly about pain. I have CRPS which was diagnosed last year, and at its worse, I can barely walk or bend to dress myself. And you know what makes it worse? I even dream of being in pain, and then I wake up and am in horrible pain too! However... it come and goes, quickly and inexplicably. A few weeks ago, I was a pitiable wreck. This week, I have been fitting floors and moving fridges and generally taking advantage of good health, knowing it will go at some point, and hopefully I`m building up strength which will make things better, long term. Then I`ll be back on the cocktail of meds...and knowing one day it`ll be permanently disabling is best not to think about :( I wish you nothing but good back health!

[_hi_water._]

I fear living the rest of my life in pain. I have problems with my back. I have to keep working to survive. i pray every day to God to help me.

I feel very similarly about pain. I have CRPS which was diagnosed last year, and at its worse, I can barely walk or bend to dress myself. And you know what makes it worse? I even dream of being in pain, and then I wake up and am in horrible pain too! However... it come and goes, quickly and inexplicably. A few weeks ago, I was a pitiable wreck. This week, I have been fitting floors and moving fridges and generally taking advantage of good health, knowing it will go at some point, and hopefully I`m building up strength which will make things better, long term. Then I`ll be back on the cocktail of meds...and knowing one day it`ll be permanently disabling is best not to think about :( I wish you nothing but good back health!

the worst pain I felt was when I almost killed my left side (of my body)

 

but yeah pain sucks ass

Edited September 4, 2020 by _hi_water._

[goose]

I was bitten on the forehead by a dog when I was 4, and was next to a friend when his chest was ripped open by a dog a few years after that. So, yeah... Cynophobia. Except that`s an irrational fear, and I have case studies! Barking or approaching me or whatever, I`m pretty terrified and run behind my wife

 

I wish I was scared of a rare thing or something I could more easily avoid.

 

Oh yeah, and I kinda stay in the house most of the time because I`m not keen on interactions in the real world.

Your experience as a young child is bound to have contributed to your fear .....

So, hears something that I experience: Anxiety attacks when flying a kite.

 

My first memory of it occurring was in college when my then girlfriend (now wife) and I decided to fly a kite one day. We launched the kite and got it going really well, way up in the sky. As I held the kite spool and stared up at the kite, I was overcome by vertigo and sense of panic. I had to hand the spool off to my girlfriend. Even though it felt awful, I found it humorous that such a thing could occur. Of course, after that, any time I went to fly a kite the memory of the feeling of panic started to build even before I looked up. Soon, it developed into a phobia, and I just refused to fly a kite.

 

Years later, I was teacher high school psychology and we were studying phobias and behaviorist theory. I shared my very strange and specific phobia with them, and as we learned about strategies for shaping behavior, the kids decided they would conduct an experiment on me. They started by having a kites in the room, then me standing near a kite, then teaching with a kite in my hands. They then took me outside and had me watch them fly kites from a distance, then had me stand near them as they flew them, then they eventually got me to hold a kite. I laughed as I held it, but i still hated it. :P

 

A few weeks later we were studying states of consciousness and I brought in a hypnotist. That's the day I learned what was actually behind my kite phobia...

 

(to be continued)

OK...so, when I was young, my father worked attached to the military. This meant two things, one, that we moved a lot, and two, that he was often stationed away from the family for long periods of time. When I was five or so, my dad got sent to Vietnam where he served primarily in communications. He was gone for 18 months straight, with the only contact with us being via a phone operator where we would talk, say "Over!", and the operator would relay the message. My dad would do the same, and we'd here what he said via the operator. As a result, my memory of my father faded somewhat. Upon his return, we met him a at the Los Angeles Airport. Aa a reunion event, the family, which included my aunts and uncles that lived in Long Beach, had planned a trip to see the Queen Mary. The Queen Mary is a huge passenger ship that no longer sails, but is open as both a hotel and for tours.

 

We were all pretty excited to be together, and you can imagine as a kid I was excited to be going on a huge ocean liner. The gangplank from the dock to the ship is very high up, and my father for some reason thought I'd like to see just how high. Without telling me, he grabbed me from behind and lifted me up over the railing. Being surprised by a relative stranger in this way led to a predictable response. I screamed out in fear of being thrown into the harbor below, and when my dad set me down I ran. What does this have to do with a fear of kites...?

 

I recall that the gangway to the ship was decorated with pennants...

 

http://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61txi9Bkn7L._AC_SY355_.jpg

 

It seems that seeing a kite against a blue sky triggers the memory of being lifted over the edge of the gangway, and the feelings terror experienced as five year-old returns. It's interesting that, as an adult, I experience the physiological response of fear, but not the emotions. After all, it's just a kite in the sky, and I know that there's nothing that can happen to me. But when I look up, it feels like I will plunge upward endlessly into the sky...as if I were falling into the sea.

 

Interesting. How were you able to find that association?

Back to the hypnotist...

 

After she led us through some hypnotism, we had a question-answer session. During that, I mentioned my kite phobia and she said that it sounded like a fear of heights. Instantaneously the memory of my father lifting me over the rail came flooding back and it was an incredible moment of clarity.

 

That’s pretty interesting. Other than the realization, was anything resolved through that moment of clarity? Did you work through your fear with the hypnotist?

No, it was just a passing comment on her part and I kept things to myself.

 

The thing about a stressed response like the one I have, if it's in a context that doesn't impact one's life, it really doesn't matter. If I were a professional kite flyer, I may be driven to work hard on it. But since I'm merely an amateur, it's something I can live with.

[goose]

For those who are uncomfortable in small social situations, what is it exactly about those situations that make them uncomfortable?

A hate for small talk. I'm funny that way.

 

Seriously, I dread feeling like I have to feign interest in the mundane things people feel compelled to share. If there's a topic that's more intellectual, I have no problem engaging.

 

Isn’t a lot of TRF small talk? That is, polls on favorite songs or bands, movies, etc....don’t they fit into small talk? Or are they so specific that you don’t consider them small talk?

Funny I have no problem "conversing" by text or on line. In person I am shy and introverted - unless alcohol or something else is involved.

 

I understand. Text or online gives a certain level of anonymity.

And an opportunity to gather one's thoughts.

 

Very true too.

 

You guys wouldn’t have done TRF chat when it existed on here? Or maybe you have done it and I’m assuming?

I did a couple of DPR's SOCN death match chats, but that's about it. As a format, chat is a bit too chatty for me.

 

DPR always seemed so desperate to make you believe that he was correct and you were wrong.

 

The only time I didn’t see DPR pissed off was a few posts when he was talking about Dungeons and Dragons.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I was bitten on the forehead by a dog when I was 4, and was next to a friend when his chest was ripped open by a dog a few years after that. So, yeah... Cynophobia. Except that`s an irrational fear, and I have case studies! Barking or approaching me or whatever, I`m pretty terrified and run behind my wife

 

I wish I was scared of a rare thing or something I could more easily avoid.

 

Oh yeah, and I kinda stay in the house most of the time because I`m not keen on interactions in the real world.

Your experience as a young child is bound to have contributed to your fear .....

So, hears something that I experience: Anxiety attacks when flying a kite.

 

My first memory of it occurring was in college when my then girlfriend (now wife) and I decided to fly a kite one day. We launched the kite and got it going really well, way up in the sky. As I held the kite spool and stared up at the kite, I was overcome by vertigo and sense of panic. I had to hand the spool off to my girlfriend. Even though it felt awful, I found it humorous that such a thing could occur. Of course, after that, any time I went to fly a kite the memory of the feeling of panic started to build even before I looked up. Soon, it developed into a phobia, and I just refused to fly a kite.

 

Years later, I was teacher high school psychology and we were studying phobias and behaviorist theory. I shared my very strange and specific phobia with them, and as we learned about strategies for shaping behavior, the kids decided they would conduct an experiment on me. They started by having a kites in the room, then me standing near a kite, then teaching with a kite in my hands. They then took me outside and had me watch them fly kites from a distance, then had me stand near them as they flew them, then they eventually got me to hold a kite. I laughed as I held it, but i still hated it. :P

 

A few weeks later we were studying states of consciousness and I brought in a hypnotist. That's the day I learned what was actually behind my kite phobia...

 

(to be continued)

OK...so, when I was young, my father worked attached to the military. This meant two things, one, that we moved a lot, and two, that he was often stationed away from the family for long periods of time. When I was five or so, my dad got sent to Vietnam where he served primarily in communications. He was gone for 18 months straight, with the only contact with us being via a phone operator where we would talk, say "Over!", and the operator would relay the message. My dad would do the same, and we'd here what he said via the operator. As a result, my memory of my father faded somewhat. Upon his return, we met him a at the Los Angeles Airport. Aa a reunion event, the family, which included my aunts and uncles that lived in Long Beach, had planned a trip to see the Queen Mary. The Queen Mary is a huge passenger ship that no longer sails, but is open as both a hotel and for tours.

 

We were all pretty excited to be together, and you can imagine as a kid I was excited to be going on a huge ocean liner. The gangplank from the dock to the ship is very high up, and my father for some reason thought I'd like to see just how high. Without telling me, he grabbed me from behind and lifted me up over the railing. Being surprised by a relative stranger in this way led to a predictable response. I screamed out in fear of being thrown into the harbor below, and when my dad set me down I ran. What does this have to do with a fear of kites...?

 

I recall that the gangway to the ship was decorated with pennants...

 

http://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61txi9Bkn7L._AC_SY355_.jpg

 

It seems that seeing a kite against a blue sky triggers the memory of being lifted over the edge of the gangway, and the feelings terror experienced as five year-old returns. It's interesting that, as an adult, I experience the physiological response of fear, but not the emotions. After all, it's just a kite in the sky, and I know that there's nothing that can happen to me. But when I look up, it feels like I will plunge upward endlessly into the sky...as if I were falling into the sea.

 

Interesting. How were you able to find that association?

Back to the hypnotist...

 

After she led us through some hypnotism, we had a question-answer session. During that, I mentioned my kite phobia and she said that it sounded like a fear of heights. Instantaneously the memory of my father lifting me over the rail came flooding back and it was an incredible moment of clarity.

 

That’s pretty interesting. Other than the realization, was anything resolved through that moment of clarity? Did you work through your fear with the hypnotist?

No, it was just a passing comment on her part and I kept things to myself.

 

The thing about a stressed response like the one I have, if it's in a context that doesn't impact one's life, it really doesn't matter. If I were a professional kite flyer, I may be driven to work hard on it. But since I'm merely an amateur, it's something I can live with.

 

Right. Can’t imagine kites hounding you every hour of the day and causing regular stress

[Krystal]

I'm afraid of large dogs and coyotes running loose through the neighborhood. I'm also afraid of mall security guards. I used to wonder why they always gave me weird looks. Then I figured out it was because I wore a lot of hoodies. I don't anymore. Apparently a hoodie is the uniform of criminals, especially drug dealers. I used to like them when I was in college because they were comfortable and inexpensive.

[_hi_water._]

I was bitten on the forehead by a dog when I was 4, and was next to a friend when his chest was ripped open by a dog a few years after that. So, yeah... Cynophobia. Except that`s an irrational fear, and I have case studies! Barking or approaching me or whatever, I`m pretty terrified and run behind my wife

 

I wish I was scared of a rare thing or something I could more easily avoid.

 

Oh yeah, and I kinda stay in the house most of the time because I`m not keen on interactions in the real world.

Your experience as a young child is bound to have contributed to your fear .....

So, hears something that I experience: Anxiety attacks when flying a kite.

 

My first memory of it occurring was in college when my then girlfriend (now wife) and I decided to fly a kite one day. We launched the kite and got it going really well, way up in the sky. As I held the kite spool and stared up at the kite, I was overcome by vertigo and sense of panic. I had to hand the spool off to my girlfriend. Even though it felt awful, I found it humorous that such a thing could occur. Of course, after that, any time I went to fly a kite the memory of the feeling of panic started to build even before I looked up. Soon, it developed into a phobia, and I just refused to fly a kite.

 

Years later, I was teacher high school psychology and we were studying phobias and behaviorist theory. I shared my very strange and specific phobia with them, and as we learned about strategies for shaping behavior, the kids decided they would conduct an experiment on me. They started by having a kites in the room, then me standing near a kite, then teaching with a kite in my hands. They then took me outside and had me watch them fly kites from a distance, then had me stand near them as they flew them, then they eventually got me to hold a kite. I laughed as I held it, but i still hated it. :P

 

A few weeks later we were studying states of consciousness and I brought in a hypnotist. That's the day I learned what was actually behind my kite phobia...

 

(to be continued)

OK...so, when I was young, my father worked attached to the military. This meant two things, one, that we moved a lot, and two, that he was often stationed away from the family for long periods of time. When I was five or so, my dad got sent to Vietnam where he served primarily in communications. He was gone for 18 months straight, with the only contact with us being via a phone operator where we would talk, say "Over!", and the operator would relay the message. My dad would do the same, and we'd here what he said via the operator. As a result, my memory of my father faded somewhat. Upon his return, we met him a at the Los Angeles Airport. Aa a reunion event, the family, which included my aunts and uncles that lived in Long Beach, had planned a trip to see the Queen Mary. The Queen Mary is a huge passenger ship that no longer sails, but is open as both a hotel and for tours.

 

We were all pretty excited to be together, and you can imagine as a kid I was excited to be going on a huge ocean liner. The gangplank from the dock to the ship is very high up, and my father for some reason thought I'd like to see just how high. Without telling me, he grabbed me from behind and lifted me up over the railing. Being surprised by a relative stranger in this way led to a predictable response. I screamed out in fear of being thrown into the harbor below, and when my dad set me down I ran. What does this have to do with a fear of kites...?

 

I recall that the gangway to the ship was decorated with pennants...

 

http://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61txi9Bkn7L._AC_SY355_.jpg

 

It seems that seeing a kite against a blue sky triggers the memory of being lifted over the edge of the gangway, and the feelings terror experienced as five year-old returns. It's interesting that, as an adult, I experience the physiological response of fear, but not the emotions. After all, it's just a kite in the sky, and I know that there's nothing that can happen to me. But when I look up, it feels like I will plunge upward endlessly into the sky...as if I were falling into the sea.

 

Interesting. How were you able to find that association?

Back to the hypnotist...

 

After she led us through some hypnotism, we had a question-answer session. During that, I mentioned my kite phobia and she said that it sounded like a fear of heights. Instantaneously the memory of my father lifting me over the rail came flooding back and it was an incredible moment of clarity.

 

That’s pretty interesting. Other than the realization, was anything resolved through that moment of clarity? Did you work through your fear with the hypnotist?

No, it was just a passing comment on her part and I kept things to myself.

 

The thing about a stressed response like the one I have, if it's in a context that doesn't impact one's life, it really doesn't matter. If I were a professional kite flyer, I may be driven to work hard on it. But since I'm merely an amateur, it's something I can live with.

 

Right. Can’t imagine kites hounding you every hour of the day and causing regular stress

:goodone:

[Krystal]

I had to do this one-way interview a while ago. I can remember playing back one of my takes and there was this weird noise in the background. It sounded like a ghost or demon or something. Scared the hell outta me. I can only imagine what the manager thought when she listened to it.