TRF Prediction Thread and Roast: Rushgoober's 30,000th post

[H. P. L.]

Dear HPL, they have all deserted me, and Sister Rosalia is totally exasperated with me. In fact, I will bet you dimes to calamari that she doesn't even pray for me anymore and has just left me to slide nonstop down the slippery slope of life.

 

As for the six Seven Cities of Gold dancers, I last left them dancing for their munchkins and the Groucho Marx wanna-be behind the desk. Not one of them - no, not even one, after all I did for them - was impressed with my Ruby Keeler-esque tap dancing steps - not even when I showed them I could jump rope and tap dance at the same time. You try doing that if you think it's easy!!

 

Well, it seems that, like every kind-hearted man knows so well, women let you down. But don't despair, fair Lorraine. YBG never lets you down!

[JohnnyBlaze]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

[JohnnyBlaze]

The Pope from another dimension.

It’s a title we at YBG Europe, in our geeky, deranged movie-buffs minds, could see Val Lewton or Roger Corman turn into a classic low-cost horror flick. Instead, it was the mind-blowing ace that the Pope himself, Francesco “Big Guy” Bregoglio, had up his sleeve for us.

 

When this truth hit our team, Umberto Eco began to ponder the Bell Theorem. Luca Turilli immediately coughed up a new concept album. Rocco Siffredi and Monica Bellucci looked at each other and said: whaaaat?

 

So said the Pope: I come from a dimension where war and misery have taken mankind to the brink of extinction. My dimension Pope SS worked to find out what could have led to this. We had scientists, mathematicians, even seers, prophets and Mark Bolan summoned up with The Interdimensional Vortex. I myself spent many nights with Nostradamus, Ed Cayce, Al Crowley, searching for the truth. Nostradamus was pretty pissed with Judas Priest, by the way. He hated that album. Anyway, we came to a point where the cause, the little snowball, the fly in the ointment, was found.

 

 

It all had started with RushGoober 30.000 post. Another trolling post of hate about Vapor Trails. It was like the proverbial straw on the camel’s back. The fatal penny in that old Scrooge Mc Duck story. It was like the world had seen too much hatred. It all started from there. And it went to hell, literally. It was too late for my world, but I still could travel back in time to this world, and try to save it. And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

 

I wanted to work behind the curtain, but Benedetto was adamant I take the front. So that’s what I did. My Roll the Bones Sermon was meant to put some sense into his mind… Actually, as long as he was held in prison under Ron Howard’s watch, with no internet access, I dared to hope we were safe… But now, mayor Ford has another agenda… and he isn’t returning my calls. The nerve of him! What he wants to do with Goober, nobody knows. So we are back to plan A.

 

But what will you do, exactly? we asked. The moment he logs in to TRF, we zap him back in time. Again.

 

Again?

 

Yes, again. You see, the entity you know as RushGoober is nothing more than a time loop. A time loop that extends from 1965 to the moment he writes his 30.000th post. Every time he tries to write that post, we send him back to 1965. The reality changes a little, every time. Once he had this turd polishing business in Las Vegas. Another time, he was the lyricist for Moby Grape. There was even a time he ran for President against Nixon! But it always, always ends up with him spitting hate about Vapor Trails, and the sh*t hits the fan.

 

Our minds turned numb by this knowledge, only Rocco could muster the intellectual strenght to ask: how many times have you been doing this!

 

How many, Kulty? asked the Pope. The dwarf replied: 42, Your Holiness.

 

Forty-two!! 42 times RushGoober had travelled back through time to The Summer Before The Summer of Love. 42 times the Vatican had conjured unspeakable energies to defy the law of physics. 42 times Goobs had been turned into tachyons…

 

The problem is, said the dwarf, each time we loose some tachyons.

 

What would that mean? Well, it’s not that easy, ok? Those little buggers, they get scattered around all creation. I think it’s safe to say there’s a little piece of Goober in everything, by now. Even in ourselves.

 

The perspective of Goober-Pantheism hit our brains like a bullett made of black terror.

 

Ever the voice of rationality, Umberto Eco was smart enough to ask: how did you get to build this technology? This time machine, this… Interdimensional Vortex, who designed it?

 

The Pope smiled his mysterious smile. I’m afraid I have to ask you all to leave, now. We’re still in red alert. But then, as if it was nothing, he dropped: It was given to us.

By whom? was the immediate question. Francis shrugged and smiled again. You may have bitten off more than you can chew, Mr. Eco, was his answer. But consider this. I know you like to call me “Big Guy” and I’m ok with that. Now ask yourself: what is the greek word for “Big”?

 

 

Our recount of the events surrounding the RushGoober Scenario ends here. The facts, the words, they are all yours to read and interpret. Tune in tomorrow for an editorial penned by YBG Europe Head-oncho himself, or should I say myself, that tries to wrap up some sense in all of this. As for the fate of RushGoober, it seems it lies in the Great White North. And it's up there that our hopeful eyes will continue to stare.

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder Europe...isn't that cool?

The Yukon Blade Grinder Asia...isn't that just as cool?

 

C'mon Asia! You can't just keep giving the forum bare chested women. The die has been cast JohnnyBlaze. Well, ok. As long as 73 is down with it.

Foolish mortal. So you're saying you don't want bare-chested women?

[H. P. L.]

Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India

 

 

It's not the heat, it's the inhumanity

by H.P.L.

 

http://www.vaisnava.cz/fotky/varanasi/varanasi017-v.jpg

 

Dear Readers,

 

this is the view from my window, in a small bunk-bed hotel here in the sacred city of Varanasi. We have relocated here after learning the ultimate truth about the reality that we call RushGoober. An ultimate truth that, perhaps, we weren't ready to know.

 

Indeed, the notion of Goober-tachyons being everywhere around us, even inside of us, has struck us so deeply that, it must be said, the option of taking our own lives has crossed our minds. How can I bear this thought, I went, in a sleepless night of the soul punctuated with vodka shots. How can I? Indeed, it was a night very similar to the night that changes the life of The Unnamed, a character from fundamental Italian novel "I Promessi Sposi", The Unnamed being a crook that finds salvation after a night of despair.

 

And so did we. Truth is a gift, indeed. It's only that sometimes we are not able to see it. The kindness of Francesco struck me like an arrow to the heart. He has opened our eyes. He has bestowed on us the gift of knowledge and compassion. It's up to us to be strong enough, to let the strenght of love inspire our actions.

So it's true: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. Let me say that again: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. It's up to us what to do with it. Let me tell you what to do with the little Goober inside you. Oh no, it's not a Tingler on your back or an Alien growing in your belly. It's like a little child in your heart. Love it. Embrace it. Nurture it. Educate it to love Vapor Trails. And perhaps, just perhaps, the world will become a better place.

 

Good night, good luck and merry Christmas to all of you.

[Tombstone Mountain]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

[Tombstone Mountain]

Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India

 

 

It's not the heat, it's the inhumanity

by H.P.L.

 

http://www.vaisnava.cz/fotky/varanasi/varanasi017-v.jpg

 

Dear Readers,

 

this is the view from my window, in a small bunk-bed hotel here in the sacred city of Varanasi. We have relocated here after learning the ultimate truth about the reality that we call RushGoober. An ultimate truth that, perhaps, we weren't ready to know.

 

Indeed, the notion of Goober-tachyons being everywhere around us, even inside of us, has struck us so deeply that, it must be said, the option of taking our own lives has crossed our minds. How can I bear this thought, I went, in a sleepless night of the soul punctuated with vodka shots. How can I? Indeed, it was a night very similar to the night that changes the life of The Unnamed, a character from fundamental Italian novel "I Promessi Sposi", The Unnamed being a crook that finds salvation after a night of despair.

 

And so did we. Truth is a gift, indeed. It's only that sometimes we are not able to see it. The kindness of Francesco struck me like an arrow to the heart. He has opened our eyes. He has bestowed on us the gift of knowledge and compassion. It's up to us to be strong enough, to let the strenght of love inspire our actions.

So it's true: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. Let me say that again: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. It's up to us what to do with it. Let me tell you what to do with the little Goober inside you. Oh no, it's not a Tingler on your back or an Alien growing in your belly. It's like a little child in your heart. Love it. Embrace it. Nurture it. Educate it to love Vapor Trails. And perhaps, just perhaps, the world will become a better place.

 

Good night, good luck and merry Christmas to all of you.

 

Awww how sweet of you. You're right, there is a little bit of Goober inside of us all. I poop mine out every morning.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Perhaps

[H. P. L.]

Awww how sweet of you. You're right, there is a little bit of Goober inside of us all. I poop mine out every morning.

 

Way to spoil the Christmas vibe...

[Lorraine]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

I am too.

 

Goober, you may make your presence known with a triumphant 30,000 post! Think of it as a Christmas gift to your loyal admirers. You can be the gift that keeps on giving at any time of the season. Or year!

[Lorraine]

Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India

 

 

It's not the heat, it's the inhumanity

by H.P.L.

 

http://www.vaisnava.cz/fotky/varanasi/varanasi017-v.jpg

 

Dear Readers,

 

this is the view from my window, in a small bunk-bed hotel here in the sacred city of Varanasi. We have relocated here after learning the ultimate truth about the reality that we call RushGoober. An ultimate truth that, perhaps, we weren't ready to know.

 

Indeed, the notion of Goober-tachyons being everywhere around us, even inside of us, has struck us so deeply that, it must be said, the option of taking our own lives has crossed our minds. How can I bear this thought, I went, in a sleepless night of the soul punctuated with vodka shots. How can I? Indeed, it was a night very similar to the night that changes the life of The Unnamed, a character from fundamental Italian novel "I Promessi Sposi", The Unnamed being a crook that finds salvation after a night of despair.

 

And so did we. Truth is a gift, indeed. It's only that sometimes we are not able to see it. The kindness of Francesco struck me like an arrow to the heart. He has opened our eyes. He has bestowed on us the gift of knowledge and compassion. It's up to us to be strong enough, to let the strenght of love inspire our actions.

So it's true: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. Let me say that again: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. It's up to us what to do with it. Let me tell you what to do with the little Goober inside you. Oh no, it's not a Tingler on your back or an Alien growing in your belly. It's like a little child in your heart. Love it. Embrace it. Nurture it. Educate it to love Vapor Trails. And perhaps, just perhaps, the world will become a better place.

 

Good night, good luck and merry Christmas to all of you.

 

Too beautiful for words!

 

 

 

 

P.S. Is that really the view from your window?

Edited December 18, 2013 by Lorraine

[Lorraine]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

[Tombstone Mountain]

Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India

 

 

It's not the heat, it's the inhumanity

by H.P.L.

 

http://www.vaisnava.cz/fotky/varanasi/varanasi017-v.jpg

 

Dear Readers,

 

this is the view from my window, in a small bunk-bed hotel here in the sacred city of Varanasi. We have relocated here after learning the ultimate truth about the reality that we call RushGoober. An ultimate truth that, perhaps, we weren't ready to know.

 

Indeed, the notion of Goober-tachyons being everywhere around us, even inside of us, has struck us so deeply that, it must be said, the option of taking our own lives has crossed our minds. How can I bear this thought, I went, in a sleepless night of the soul punctuated with vodka shots. How can I? Indeed, it was a night very similar to the night that changes the life of The Unnamed, a character from fundamental Italian novel "I Promessi Sposi", The Unnamed being a crook that finds salvation after a night of despair.

 

And so did we. Truth is a gift, indeed. It's only that sometimes we are not able to see it. The kindness of Francesco struck me like an arrow to the heart. He has opened our eyes. He has bestowed on us the gift of knowledge and compassion. It's up to us to be strong enough, to let the strenght of love inspire our actions.

So it's true: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. Let me say that again: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. It's up to us what to do with it. Let me tell you what to do with the little Goober inside you. Oh no, it's not a Tingler on your back or an Alien growing in your belly. It's like a little child in your heart. Love it. Embrace it. Nurture it. Educate it to love Vapor Trails. And perhaps, just perhaps, the world will become a better place.

 

Good night, good luck and merry Christmas to all of you.

 

Too beautiful for words!

 

 

 

 

P.S. Is that really the view from your window?

 

Yeah this is great Rocko! What a pleasure to know you and your Hobbit Metal. Thanks for heading up Yukon Blade Grinder Europe. TRF appreciates it!

 

More Hobbit Metal please!

Edited December 18, 2013 by Tombstone Mountain

[greyfriar]

Here's some German Hobbit Metal from the Helloween debut 1986

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug_JdOQDxwY

[Tombstone Mountain]

Here's some German Hobbit Metal from the Helloween debut 1986

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug_JdOQDxwY

Old school kick ass metal. Excellent choice.

[HomesickAlien]

Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh, India

 

 

It's not the heat, it's the inhumanity

by H.P.L.

 

http://www.vaisnava.cz/fotky/varanasi/varanasi017-v.jpg

 

Dear Readers,

 

this is the view from my window, in a small bunk-bed hotel here in the sacred city of Varanasi. We have relocated here after learning the ultimate truth about the reality that we call RushGoober. An ultimate truth that, perhaps, we weren't ready to know.

 

Indeed, the notion of Goober-tachyons being everywhere around us, even inside of us, has struck us so deeply that, it must be said, the option of taking our own lives has crossed our minds. How can I bear this thought, I went, in a sleepless night of the soul punctuated with vodka shots. How can I? Indeed, it was a night very similar to the night that changes the life of The Unnamed, a character from fundamental Italian novel "I Promessi Sposi", The Unnamed being a crook that finds salvation after a night of despair.

 

And so did we. Truth is a gift, indeed. It's only that sometimes we are not able to see it. The kindness of Francesco struck me like an arrow to the heart. He has opened our eyes. He has bestowed on us the gift of knowledge and compassion. It's up to us to be strong enough, to let the strenght of love inspire our actions.

So it's true: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. Let me say that again: there's a little bit of Goober in all of us. It's up to us what to do with it. Let me tell you what to do with the little Goober inside you. Oh no, it's not a Tingler on your back or an Alien growing in your belly. It's like a little child in your heart. Love it. Embrace it. Nurture it. Educate it to love Vapor Trails. And perhaps, just perhaps, the world will become a better place.

 

Good night, good luck and merry Christmas to all of you.

 

 

 

You've been driven to the brink of suicide and forced to embrace the little troll that lurks inside. I hope Tombstone reaches deep into the YBG's coffers and gives you a hefty Christmas bonus.

 

I'm glad my stay at the Huguenot hasn't affected my mental health. . . you'll have to excuse me, I'm putting the finishing touches on a necklace of jumbo shells that I'm making for Goober's stuffed llama.

[HomesickAlien]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

 

When this is over, I want to know who knew what, and when.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

 

When this is over, I want to know who knew what, and when.

There is no 'over'. There is only the appearance of 'over'. There is no rushgoober. There is only the appearance of rushgoober. There is no no appearance of rushgoober. There is only the appearance of no no appearance of rushgoober

[HomesickAlien]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

 

When this is over, I want to know who knew what, and when.

There is no 'over'. There is only the appearance of 'over'. There is no rushgoober. There is only the appearance of rushgoober. There is no no appearance of rushgoober. There is only the appearance of no no appearance of rushgoober

 

:smoke:

 

After a month and a half in this thread, that should have made sense to me. :P

[H. P. L.]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

 

When this is over, I want to know who knew what, and when.

There is no 'over'. There is only the appearance of 'over'. There is no rushgoober. There is only the appearance of rushgoober. There is no no appearance of rushgoober. There is only the appearance of no no appearance of rushgoober

Actually, there's only me and you are all illusions.

 

No wait, there's not even me. There's a god child dreaming all of this while waiting to be born.

[JohnnyBlaze]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

 

When this is over, I want to know who knew what, and when.

There is no 'over'. There is only the appearance of 'over'. There is no rushgoober. There is only the appearance of rushgoober. There is no no appearance of rushgoober. There is only the appearance of no no appearance of rushgoober

 

:smoke:

 

After a month and a half in this thread, that should have made sense to me. :P

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense" - Buddha

[HomesickAlien]

Has Goober ever gone this long without posting? I'm really beginning to wonder what's happened to him.

Perhaps Goobs has never left. Perhaps he is the Billy Milligan type. Or perhaps he is the stealthy dreadlock-stylin' crabfaced alien hunting macho men in South America type. But instead of that continent he is using TRF. "Over here". "Turn around." Perhaps.

This is my theory...perhaps he's a Yukon Blade Grinder contributor.

Mine as well, although I hesitated to even venture the thought in public!

 

When this is over, I want to know who knew what, and when.

There is no 'over'. There is only the appearance of 'over'. There is no rushgoober. There is only the appearance of rushgoober. There is no no appearance of rushgoober. There is only the appearance of no no appearance of rushgoober

Actually, there's only me and you are all illusions.

 

No wait, there's not even me. There's a god child dreaming all of this while waiting to be born.

 

This entire thread has been a dream. . .

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/93/Newhartfinale.jpg/220px-Newhartfinale.jpg

[Lorraine]

More like a nightmare if you ask me.

[Lorraine]

"I think, I think I am. Therefore, I am, I think.

There you go man!

Face piles of trial with smiles.

It riles them to believe

that you perceive

the web they weave.

Just keep on thinking free!"

[H. P. L.]

More like a nightmare if you ask me.

Why do you say that? It's been a long, sweet, psych, sludgy dream... The kind Goobs has when he listens to the entire Popol Vuh discography...

 

PS: about Varanasi: no, actually I'm staying in a 5 star hotel far from the smelling city centre... but I needed integrity to write that piece...

Edited December 19, 2013 by H. P. L.

[Lorraine]

More like a nightmare if you ask me.

Why do you say that? It's been a long, sweet, psych, sludgy dream... The kind Goobs has when he listens to the entire Popol Vuh discography...

 

PS: about Varanasi: no, actually I'm staying in a 5 star hotel far from the smelling city centre... but I needed integrity to write that piece...

 

It was a joke, HPL.