And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

[Citizen of the World]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

[blackhawkrush]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

[Citizen of the World]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

[Citizen of the World]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

[blackhawkrush]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

[blackhawkrush]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

[blackhawkrush]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

Are you trying to tell me my job? I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored.

[IbanezJem]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

Are you trying to tell me my job? I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored.

And so, Inspector blackhawkrush, the forensic expert from the Chicago Murder Squad sings his song 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong'.

[Citizen of the World]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

Are you trying to tell me my job? I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored.

And so, Inspector blackhawkrush, the forensic expert from the Chicago Murder Squad sings his song 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong'.

Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here

[blackhawkrush]

[blackhawkrush]

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

Are you trying to tell me my job? I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored.

And so, Inspector blackhawkrush, the forensic expert from the Chicago Murder Squad sings his song 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong'.

Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here

"Hello Dolly" is doing good business.

[Citizen of the World]

Whoops, don't look now girls the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant[/color]me='blackhawkrush' timestamp='1557660517' post='4659865']

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

Are you trying to tell me my job? I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored.

And so, Inspector blackhawkrush, the forensic expert from the Chicago Murder Squad sings his song 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong'.

Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here

"Hello Dolly" is doing good business.

No, it's not! It's dull! Dull, dull, my God it's dull! It's so dull and tedious and stuffy and boring and desperately dull!

[IbanezJem]

Whoops, don't look now girls the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant[/color]me='blackhawkrush' timestamp='1557660517' post='4659865']

I'm sorry I'm late m'lud, I couldn't find a kosher car park. Er... don't bother to recap m'lud, I'll pick it up as we go along. Call Mrs Fiona Lewis.

Incidentally, do call me Tom, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Thomas' nonsense!

Well I don't care, I want to know what's going on! I think you're deliberately trying to humiliate people, and I'm going straight out of here and I'm going to tell the police exactly what you do to people and I'm going to make bloody sure that you never do this again. There, what do you think of that? What do you think of that?

I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Mr Citizen, this is no common problem. You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!

Oh, that's marvelous. You're a totally different kind of specimen to Professor Citizen. Straight in your seat, erect, firm.

Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me blackhawkrush, I know all about one-night stands.

Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you musn't ask how 'cos it's naughty. They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich

Look, all I want you to do is change the wife, say the words, blah, blah, blah, back to my place, no questions asked.

And the big news this afternoon is that the British boy IbanezJem has succeeded in swapping his nine-stone Welsh-born wife for a Ford Popular and a complete set of Dickens

Here Little Nell, from Dickens's 'Old Curiosity Shop' fits new nylon syphons into the asbestos-lined ceilings...

Ooh, I must be in the wrong house. :outtahere:

Yes, we live up the road, number 49 - you can't miss it. We've just had the outside painted with warm pus.

This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. Sudden...violent...comedy. :poke:

Ring the police. Yes, that's a good idea. Get them over here fast ... no, on second thoughts, get them over here slowly, so they don't drop anything.

Are you trying to tell me my job? I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored.

And so, Inspector blackhawkrush, the forensic expert from the Chicago Murder Squad sings his song 'Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong'.

Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here

"Hello Dolly" is doing good business.

No, it's not! It's dull! Dull, dull, my God it's dull! It's so dull and tedious and stuffy and boring and desperately dull!

It's the old stockbroker syndrome, the suburban fin de siecle ennui, angst, weltschmertz, call it what you will.

[Citizen of the World]

Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up.

[IbanezJem]

Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up.

Whenever life gets you down, Mr Citizen And things seem hard or tough, And people are stupid, obnoxious or daft, And you feel that you've had quite eno-o-o-o-o-ough,.. Edited May 13, 2019 by IbanezJem

[IbanezJem]

Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up.

No, too simple, too clear cut.

Edited May 13, 2019 by IbanezJem

[Citizen of the World]

Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up.

No, too simple, too clear cut.

 

Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.

[blackhawkrush]

Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up.

 

No, too simple, too clear cut.

 

Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.

Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya:

[Citizen of the World]

Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up.

 

No, too simple, too clear cut.

 

Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.

Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya:

 

Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.