Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I'm mexican so i don't mean to offend anyone. And if this material is offensive 1001001 can close it. An Italian, American, and Mexican are walking in the desert, dying of thirst. They are all athletes. A small coke bottle appears out of nowhere, but it is not a mirage. However, if they share it, there thirst will not be satisfied and they'd die anyway. Only one person can drink it. The American suggests they have a long jump contest. The italian jumps 15 feet, only to be trumped by the American, who jumps 17 feet. When the Mexican jumps, he covers a distance of two feet. The Italian and American begin to laugh when the Mexican says, "I can't jump so far after having a bottle of coke." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 A Mexican, an Arab, and a Japanese man are on a plane. The plane is failing, and one of them has to jump off for the other two to survive. They decided to have the person with the longest name jump off. The Japanese man laughs, saying his name is "o." Then the Arab laughs, saying his name is "casio." the Mexican is cracking up. "Yo me llamo 'nicasio.'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancient Ways Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Are you also Arab, Japanese, and Italian? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 A Mexican and an American are duck hunting. They shoot at the same time and begin to argue over who will take the duck home, since they don't know who killed it. After some debate, they decide they will kick each other in the balls until one of them gives up, and the one who doesn't give up keeps the duck. The American prepares himself and braces himself. The Mexican gets a running start and with his boots gets a powerful kick in, causing the American to cripple and cry out in pain. After a moment, he stands up and says, "my turn." The Mexican replies, "nah, you can keep the duck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (Ancient Ways @ Sep 4 2011, 07:32 PM) Are you also Arab, Japanese, and Italian? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 What do you call a school bus full of Mexican children? An oversized bean burrito. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USB Connector Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Your first and third jokes don't need to be racist. The races can be substituted for any name, gender or classification. I don't even understand your second joke (and I understand what the last line means). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (USB Connector @ Sep 4 2011, 07:44 PM) Your first and third jokes don't need to be racist. The races can be substituted for any name, gender or classification. I don't even understand your second joke (and I understand what the last line means). Well I guess because in the culture this town has, this is how we hypocrites see each other. and in Spanish, casi o means barely o, and ni casi o means "not even barely o" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 A Mexican, and Muslim, and a Christian are on a plane, and one of thy all need to jump off into the ocean or they will die in an explosion. The Christian jumps off and says, "God, please help me." The Muslim jumps off and says "Allah" multiple times and stays there a while and the Mexican gets desperate. When the Muslim finally jumps off, the Mexican says, "A la chingada!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Sawyer Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 It might help is I knew more Spanish...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Sep 4 2011, 08:02 PM) It might help is I knew more Spanish...? A la means to the, and chingado is a bad word you say when something goes wrong. ChingadA means to a place where things are wrong, kinda like saying, "it's gone to heck." and the Muslim was saying "Allah," so the mexican says "A la chingada" (Allah and a la are pronounced the same way.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Sawyer Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (Good,bad,andrush @ Sep 4 2011, 09:05 PM) QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Sep 4 2011, 08:02 PM) It might help is I knew more Spanish...? A la means to the, and chingado is a bad word you say when something goes wrong. ChingadA means to a place where things are wrong, kinda like saying, "it's gone to heck." and the Muslim was saying "Allah," so the mexican says "A la chingada" (Allah and a la are pronounced the same way.) Oh. That's sort of funny. Maybe if I had gotten it the first time I would have laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 (edited) QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Sep 4 2011, 08:12 PM) QUOTE (Good @ bad,andrush,Sep 4 2011, 09:05 PM) QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Sep 4 2011, 08:02 PM) It might help is I knew more Spanish...? A la means to the, and chingado is a bad word you say when something goes wrong. ChingadA means to a place where things are wrong, kinda like saying, "it's gone to heck." and the Muslim was saying "Allah," so the mexican says "A la chingada" (Allah and a la are pronounced the same way.) Oh. That's sort of funny. Maybe if I had gotten it the first time I would have laughed. I think these are supposed to be spoken...I heard tons today which is why I came up with the thread but i forgot most. And some are completely in Spanish so I don't know if I should post those because then they won't be funny. Edited September 5, 2011 by Good,bad,andrush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theredtamasrule Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 This thread can't possibly go wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 How do mexicans play basketball? Juan on Juan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 How do you keep mexicans from stealing? Put everything on the top shelf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guys pushing it. What do you call stoned Mexicans? Baked Beans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them. The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it. The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Texan, and a Mexican are riding a plane. Due to some difficulty with the engines, three men have to jump off so that at least one can survive. Conjuring up some inspiration, the Englishman screams "God save the Queen!" and jumps off. The Frenchman screams "Viva la France!" and jumps. The Texan screams "Remember the Alamo" and throws the Mexican. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Enemy Without Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 So I'm not allowed to tell them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 4 2011, 11:25 PM) So I'm not allowed to tell them? Go for it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Enemy Without Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (Good,bad,andrush @ Sep 4 2011, 11:29 PM) QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 4 2011, 11:25 PM) So I'm not allowed to tell them? Go for it I don't really know any. I've heard one involving a policeman or something but I can't remember the details. Carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 4 2011, 11:35 PM) QUOTE (Good @ bad,andrush,Sep 4 2011, 11:29 PM) QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 4 2011, 11:25 PM) So I'm not allowed to tell them? Go for it I don't really know any. I've heard one involving a policeman or something but I can't remember the details. Carry on. There are two mexicans in a car. Who's driving? A cop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 QUOTE (Good,bad,andrush @ Sep 5 2011, 10:20 AM) QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Sep 4 2011, 08:12 PM) QUOTE (Good @ bad,andrush,Sep 4 2011, 09:05 PM) QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Sep 4 2011, 08:02 PM) It might help is I knew more Spanish...? A la means to the, and chingado is a bad word you say when something goes wrong. ChingadA means to a place where things are wrong, kinda like saying, "it's gone to heck." and the Muslim was saying "Allah," so the mexican says "A la chingada" (Allah and a la are pronounced the same way.) Oh. That's sort of funny. Maybe if I had gotten it the first time I would have laughed. I think these are supposed to be spoken...I heard tons today which is why I came up with the thread but i forgot most. And some are completely in Spanish so I don't know if I should post those because then they won't be funny. No problem...they're not funny in English either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fledgehog Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 jajajajajajajaja Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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