Tarkus406 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 "BUFFALO BAGELS!" - Col. Potter "I will not carry a gun.... I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun!" - Hawkeye Pierce "Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce." - Frank Burns "She was a little brunette of Jewish persuasion..." - Frank Burns "I wonder who persuaded her to be that..." - Hawkeye Pierce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted January 28, 2009 Share Posted January 28, 2009 "Frank Burns eat worms." "Here's to Klinger's nose, thats a double." "Henry, do you have clearance?" "Oh, I get through the door with a couple of inches to spare.." "Ahhhhhhh, Bach!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alphseeker Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 (edited) This is Frank Burns, one of our best surgeons. A real killer. -- Henry "It's the duty of every real American to be on the lookout for goldbricks, pinko's and fellow travelers. 'Course without the likes of Americans like you the jobs of Americans like me would be a lot more difficult. But don't get me wrong, Americans like me like difficult jobs. So don't get the idea you're doing the CIA any favors. We don't really need Americans like you, we don' need anybody." -- Flagg Colonel Flagg: This won't look good on your record. Frank Burns: But colonel, it's just Reader's Digest. Colonel Flagg: Not if you eliminate the third, fifth, and sixth letters, then it's Red's Digest, comrade. Edited January 29, 2009 by alphseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelcaressed Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 "You tell 'em, ferret face." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steelcaressed Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 And how many times did this get said: "Uh-oh....choppers!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 QUOTE (alphseeker @ Jan 29 2009, 12:55 AM) Colonel Flagg: This won't look good on your record. Frank Burns: But colonel, it's just Reader's Digest. Colonel Flagg: Not if you eliminate the third, fifth, and sixth letters, then it's Red's Digest, comrade. "I tell people Im with the CIC just so theyll think Im with the CID..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merely Space Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 (sings) "...with your feet slapping on the warm Mississippi mud!" - General Bartford Hamilton Steele (Harry Morgan before he was Col. Potter) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lerxt1990 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Col. Potter: "Monkey muffins!" "Ohhhh I like to go swimmin' with bowlegged women and swim between their legs!" (singing) Upon receiving 10,000 tongue depressers: "Shouldve taken that severance pay in '48, bought that dude ranch, damn zoning laws!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaye Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Radar: "I think I've been slaked.." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkus406 Posted February 9, 2009 Author Share Posted February 9, 2009 "Ya know, they say Benedict Arnold was always the first one to stand when Washington entered the room. But the minute Washington left he started throwing erasers and tried to take over the country." - Hawkeye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouchithurts Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 QUOTE No Frank, you know, is she better than self-abuse? Does that- does that big ass of hers move around a lot, Frank or does it sort of lie there flaccid? What would you say about that? QUOTE Would you say that she was a moaner, Frank? Seriously Frank. I mean, does she go "ooooh" or does she lie there quiet and not do anything at all? QUOTE Watch out for your goodies, Hawkeye. That man is a sex maniac; I don't think Hot Lips satisfied him. Don't let him kiss you, Hawkeye. QUOTE Well goddamnit, Hot Lips, resign your goddamn comission! QUOTE Now, fair's fair Henry. If I nail Hotlips and hit Hawkeye can I go home too? QUOTE Oh, Frank, my lips are hot. Kiss my hot lips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Territorial_Game Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Radar: Well a lot of people don't look at it like you were sick, Hawkeye. A lot of people look up to you here. They admire you and they kinda feel they want to be like you. And... Gee, when you walk out on an operation, you make them feel like you've let them down. If they can't depend on you, well, they figure, well, maybe there's no point in depending on anything. Hawkeye: Look you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? The blood of children. I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then the hell with it. How DARE you! The hell with your Iowa naivete and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear and while you're at it, the hell with you. Why don't you grow up, for crying out loud? I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder. If possible, without going crazy. Period. -Radar and Hawkeye Come one, come all to a wake... for the late, great Captain Pierce. We'll be mourning all afternoon and evening. The deceased will deliver the eulogy. And the guests will have twenty minutes for rebuttal. Remains to be seen in the Swamp. -Over the PA after Hawkeye is pronounced dead by the Army "Thank you, Max" - Charles to Klinger in the episode, "Death Takes a Holiday" I really like this episode. I love Charles, and this was a perfect example of the depth of character he truly had. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 QUOTE (Merely Space @ Jan 29 2009, 07:51 AM) (sings) "...with your feet slapping on the warm Mississippi mud!" - General Bartford Hamilton Steele (Harry Morgan before he was Col. Potter) noooo, it was "it's a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Charles, on sweating: "A Winchester never sweats, he perspires. And a Winchester never perspires." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaye Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Margaret: "You've made a mockery of my majority" Hawkeye: "Well whaddya know, we're major mockers!" --- Margaret: "I'm not so think as you drunk I am" --- Frank (I think): "You've made a hollow mockery out of this army" Hawkeye: "That's a lie! I have never taken the insides out of a mockery!" --- Hawkeye, Trapper and Margaret: "Come on in, take off your skin, and rattle around in your bones!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeddyRulz Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 Trapper tells a knock-knock joke... Trapper: Knock knock. Hawkeye: Who's there? Trapper: Abraham Lincoln. Hawkeye: Abraham Lincoln who? Trapper: (after a pause) Don't you know me????? Hawkeye cracks up. ----------------- Everyone makes a toast... "To Harry Truman!" "To Bess Truman!" Hawkeye: "To err is truman!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReflectedLight Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 This is Frank Burns, one of our best surgeons. A real killer. -- Henry We all know it's brutal up there at the front, especially those of us at the rear -- Frank Attention. Major Houlihan, your chest x-rays are ready and they really came out beautiful. -- PA Attention all personnel. Due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today. -- PA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-D-RocK- Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 I can't remember the dialogue verbatim, but one of my favorite MASH scenes is the one where they're trying to diffuse a bomb. Hilarity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReflectedLight Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Feb 9 2009, 11:44 AM) I can't remember the dialogue verbatim, but one of my favorite MASH scenes is the one where they're trying to diffuse a bomb. Hilarity! i remember that one. Henry is reading the instructions to deffuse the bomb: Henry: Then you cut the wires that lead to the fuse box (Hawkeye Cuts the wires) Henry: After removing the fuse box first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReflectedLight Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 i love the episode when they order spare ribs from chicago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-D-RocK- Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 QUOTE (ReflectedLight @ Feb 9 2009, 11:13 AM) QUOTE (-D-RocK- @ Feb 9 2009, 11:44 AM) I can't remember the dialogue verbatim, but one of my favorite MASH scenes is the one where they're trying to diffuse a bomb. Hilarity! i remember that one. Henry is reading the instructions to deffuse the bomb: Henry: Then you cut the wires that lead to the fuse box (Hawkeye Cuts the wires) Henry: After removing the fuse box first. Ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaye Posted February 9, 2009 Share Posted February 9, 2009 QUOTE (ReflectedLight @ Feb 9 2009, 05:15 PM)i love the episode when they order spare ribs from chicago. Oh yes, that's one of my faves! "I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish!" We want something else! We want something else!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sark Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 When B.J. meets Frank for the first time- "Whadda ya say ferret face?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarkus406 Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 *Major Winchester moans in pain* Hawkeye: "Beej, don't forget. In the morning it's your turn to milk Charles." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumnut Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 QUOTE (ReflectedLight @ Feb 9 2009, 12:15 PM)i love the episode when they order spare ribs from chicago. Didn't the rib place forget the sauce? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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