Those other Mommy moments...

[owlswing]

Thought it was time we had a thread to share our other Mommy moments.

 

You know the ones that make you want to call you own parents and ask them to remove the dreaded curse they put on you as a child by uttering the words "Wait 'till you have kids of your own"

 

The moments we feel that we are the only one dealing with such things...the moments we feel that we have just won the award for worst parent of the year!...those moments where you just wish you could let it out...

 

...well here is your chance to share those moments of or or or or with others that are in the same boat or sucessfully rowed that boat to safer ground.

 

 

 

[owlswing]

I'll start with a typically other mommy moment that has been the subject around here the past few days. Our girls are fighting soooo much it has been driving me crazy. Everything is an arguement, everything is something new to fight about.

 

Just yesterday, leaving the grocery store just as a storm was rolling in I ask them to hurry and get in the car, no instead the stood by the door and fought over who would open the car door and how it was unfair one did it more than the other.

 

Wonder why they never fight over who helps mommy more?

[blonde77th]

This is so funny just last night I was talking to my youngest Daughter & she was complaining about her 13 yr old & said I remember that curse you put on us.

But I got my sister & my sister got 1 of me What can a Mother say I just & said remember what I said about you 3 when you where teen's I Love you guy's so much but I hated being a mother of teenager's ....your years of this is just starting so enjoy & I will help you out as much as I can .( to me being a single parent it was a time of pure hell with some enjoyment along the way )

 

But I was so happy when it was over .

 

 

 

When I wrote in their kid's baby book's I wrote .....Just remember there is No book of Instructions just Love & Guide them & Take Deep Breath's along the way ) .

 

 

This does pass Mother's

[owlswing]

Alright today one of those mommy moments that just has me so pissed happened.

 

I go to listen to the messages on our answering machine after hearing a few I get one from my daughter's friend "call me back as soon as you can I need to talk to you" hangs up, Okay two minutes laster she left a second message "Ah, I need to talk to you, I have a serious problem with you and (some guy) and what (other girl) has said, she also said if you talk to (some guy) again she is going to beat you up.

 

This is the second issue in as many weeks with (other girl). Last week, again through my daughter's friend, (other girl) had her tell my daughter not to sit at the lunch table anymore because she didn't like her. When my daughter asked (other girl) about it she said oh no I didn't mean you. Yeah righttttt

 

I hated teenage girls when I was a teenage girl, now I know I really should be better at this but my first thought is to ask this little young one - "what's your problem bit*h."

 

So I have vented - any thoughts?

 

 

[nettiesaur]

QUOTE (owlswing @ Sep 17 2008, 07:47 PM)

Alright today one of those mommy moments that just has me so pissed happened. I go to listen to the messages on our answering machine after hearing a few I get one from my daughter's friend "call me back as soon as you can I need to talk to you" hangs up, Okay two minutes laster she left a second message "Ah, I need to talk to you, I have a serious problem with you and (some guy) and what (other girl) has said, she also said if you talk to (some guy) again she is going to beat you up. This is the second issue in as many weeks with (other girl). Last week, again through my daughter's friend, (other girl) had her tell my daughter not to sit at the lunch table anymore because she didn't like her. When my daughter asked (other girl) about it she said oh no I didn't mean you. Yeah righttttt I hated teenage girls when I was a teenage girl, now I know I really should be better at this but my first thought is to ask this little young one - "what's your problem bit*h." So I have vented - any thoughts?

Take it to the principal. This is the beginning of being bullied.

[owlswing]

QUOTE (nettiesaur @ Sep 17 2008, 09:15 PM)

QUOTE (owlswing @ Sep 17 2008, 07:47 PM) Alright today one of those mommy moments that just has me so pissed happened. I go to listen to the messages on our answering machine after hearing a few I get one from my daughter's friend "call me back as soon as you can I need to talk to you" hangs up, Okay two minutes laster she left a second message "Ah, I need to talk to you, I have a serious problem with you and (some guy) and what (other girl) has said, she also said if you talk to (some guy) again she is going to beat you up.            This is the second issue in as many weeks with (other girl). Last week, again through my daughter's friend, (other girl) had her tell my daughter not to sit at the lunch table anymore because she didn't like her. When my daughter asked (other girl) about it she said oh no I didn't mean you.    Yeah righttttt I hated teenage girls when I was a teenage girl, now I know I really should be better at this but my first thought is to ask this little young one - "what's your problem bit*h." So I have vented - any thoughts? Take it to the principal. This is the beginning of being bullied. Last year we took an issue to the school and they made it seem as if it was my daughters fault. The girl in that case denied everything and no help was offered to my daughter. The bulling continued and my daughter with our help became stronger in dealing with it. So much for a zero tolerence policy!   Since this message was left by a friend and not the actual girl saying these things. It makes it a bit harder to approach.   We plan on talking to her friends parents first to find out the situation from that side. Her parents are away until next week. I have known her friend and her mom since daisy girl scouts and hope we can sit down together with the girls and work out what this other girl is doing to them, as friends, as well as dealing with the issue of beating up.   My daughter was in tears last night afraid of losing her friend because of this other girls influence.   My anger has turned to worry and hurt for my daughter.

[ladirushfan80]

well D, I think you're on the right path by wanting to sit down with the parents & the girls to hash all of this out.

 

Doesn't it suck when this kind of shit happens to our kids? I remember similar situations happening to me, and my daughters. I would share my experiences with my kids, and offer my advice as to how to handle it, and leave it up to them to figure it out. If the situation got worse, and the school had to intervene, then that's the course we took.

 

good luck hon. i'll be curious to see how things pan out.

[Mara]

My husband is a tennis coach, and the lessons he dreads most are the ones with the teen girls. By the time they're 17 or 18, they're better, but the 13-16 year olds are just moody as hell.

I quipped once that teenage girls are the reason we don't have kids. I said, "yeah, and if it was a girl that would mean that someday she'll grow up to be a vicious little teenaged girl. No thanks!" There's no creature meaner than a 7th or 8th grade girl, IMO. And I went through it too.

 

I really hope things improve for you and your daughter, Owlswing. I'm sure it's hard to see her going through this, especially since the school won't help.

[owlswing]

QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Sep 18 2008, 07:04 AM)

well D, I think you're on the right path by wanting to sit down with the parents & the girls to hash all of this out.  Doesn't it suck when this kind of shit happens to our kids?  I remember similar situations happening to me, and my daughters.  I would share my experiences with my kids, and offer my advice as to how to handle it, and leave it up to them to figure it out.  If the situation got worse, and the school had to intervene, then that's the course we took.  good luck hon.  i'll be curious to see how things pan out.

Thanks I needed a boost that I was headed in the right direction.

 

I talk to them in the same way you do and hope they can handle it themselves. It just seems that this one has escalated from mere words to a threat, so a bit of intervention is needed.

 

You just never know when something will get pushed to far. Some cases a bully will back down if you stand up to them, but there are those times it makes the situation worse and the threats are carried out.

[Daylin]

That's awful that the school took the other side of things instead of helping your daughter last year.

I hope you and the other girls mom can work things out. Some teenage girls are terrible! Give your daughter a hug from me (even though she doesn't know me) and tell her I/we all know how hard these things can be. Like ladi said, I also would like to know how this turns out.

 

for you for your girl

 

and....can't forget Dad

 

 

 

 

[RockAngel]

My daughter's 6 and she's starting to get a right little madam! When i ask her to do something, its ' in a minute i'm busy'...then when i tell her off, its quivering bottom lip and ' are you angry mummy?'

 

er...that'll be a yes then!

[owlswing]

QUOTE (RockAngel @ Sep 18 2008, 09:35 PM)

My daughter's 6 and she's starting to get a right little madam! When i ask her to do something, its ' in a minute i'm busy'...then when i tell her off, its quivering bottom lip and ' are you angry mummy?' er...that'll be a yes then!

Ah - the Kindergarten attitude! So far each of my 3 girls have had this...most of my friends daughter have also.

 

It is something about the age, going to school and trying to claim a bit of independance and pushing that threshold of how much they can do.

 

It does get better around the 2nd grade mark. You'll have about 2 years until the preteen attitude starts but the steps you take now will help with that.

 

Keep talking to her ask what the attitude is about, what is she trying to get from it. It's hard - all you want to do is knock that little chip off, but slowly removing it helps both of you.

 

[owlswing]

An update!!

 

It seems as if (the other girl) has backed a bit out of the picture. Not really sure why or how far yet. Just holding back watching what may or may not happen.

 

My daughter has choosen to work on repairing the small rif between her and her friend. I'm proud of her that this is the road she choose. We had her friend over yesterday to just hang out - they had a great time. No mention of the problem from the week arose. Could the message just have been that of a friend giving a warning of concern. We can only hope.

 

Right now we are sitting back watching how this might develop. I think it was a triangle created that none of the girls involved knew how to handle. Why do these preteen/teen years need to be so hard for young girls.

 

It has really opened my eyes that the preparing vs. the protecting route I took a few years back has been the right route. I HOPE!!

[nettiesaur]

I didn't know where else to put this. I think only Moms could understand.

Why does a kid pick the worst time to puke? One of my little guys(first grader)threw up his chocolate snack milk on our new carpet at 2:50 p.m. They leave at 3:00. Then he asked if he was going to the office. I said, um no, you're going home. I'll talk to your mom when she comes to get you(there was no point in calling her, she was on her way of course).

So in the middle of getting 25 kids ready to go home, I have to cover the mess with paper towels and pray that no one else does a copy cat.

 

Argh.

Poor kid, I know, he can't help being sick, but I spent half an hour cleaning up and sanitizing when I should have been going home.

 

 

[owlswing]

QUOTE (nettiesaur @ Nov 3 2008, 10:22 PM)

I didn't know where else to put this. I think only Moms could understand. Why does a kid pick the worst time to puke?  One of my little guys(first grader)threw up his chocolate snack milk on our new carpet at 2:50 p.m. They leave at 3:00.  Then he asked if he was going to the office. I said, um no, you're going home. I'll talk to your mom when she comes to get you(there was no point in calling her, she was on her way of course). So in the middle of getting 25 kids ready to go home, I have to cover the mess with paper towels and pray that no one else does a copy cat. Argh. Poor kid, I know, he can't help being sick, but I spent half an hour cleaning up and sanitizing when I should have been going home.

I'm so sorry for that poor kid - and you for being stuck with the clean up.

 

I agree - that is exactly when it happens! Just as your trying to run out the door, in the car or at some awful hour in the night.

[GhostGirl]

Resurrecting this thread to ask a mom/parenting question - if you have teens...

 

When Kerry got a cellphone and a Facebook account, I told him I'd be checking them both periodically.

 

He hates that I do it, and now I'm starting to re-think it. I've read that it makes kids do MORE sneaking around if you are reading their texts, etc.

 

I'm thinking of telling him that I'm no longer going to monitor, AS LONG AS he is talking to me, and I know what's really going on with him, and that if I sense he is keeping something secret that he shouldn't (or something just doesn't feel right) that I will have to get more involved again.

 

I do believe kids are entitled to SOME measure of privacy, but the problem is, I just don't trust teenagers... so I'm torn but hoping I'm handling this right.

 

Just wondering how other moms/parents handle this type of thing?

[Rushchick10]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Mar 29 2011, 11:35 AM)

Resurrecting this thread to ask a mom/parenting question - if you have teens... When Kerry got a cellphone and a Facebook account, I told him I'd be checking them both periodically. He hates that I do it, and now I'm starting to re-think it. I've read that it makes kids do MORE sneaking around if you are reading their texts, etc. I'm thinking of telling him that I'm no longer going to monitor, AS LONG AS he is talking to me, and I know what's really going on with him, and that if I sense he is keeping something secret that he shouldn't (or something just doesn't feel right) that I will have to get more involved again. I do believe kids are entitled to SOME measure of privacy, but the problem is, I just don't trust teenagers... so I'm torn but hoping I'm handling this right. Just wondering how other moms/parents handle this type of thing?

Unfortunately, teenagers are probably going to do something we don't want them to do (sex. drugs, etc) even if we are watching them and trying to prevent it. I see it all the time in my job. Before I was a cop, i was a juvenile detention officer. I have seen all extremes. Sometimes proper child rearing can prevent it, and sometimes peer pressure pushes an otherwise awesome kid over the edge. Sometimes it is worlds worse.

 

My son is 11, so I haven't hit the teens with him yet. Personally, I think a teenager EARNS their privacy with their behavior. Give me a reason to wonder and your room is getting tossed. I had teenage step-daughters in my marriage and they were a CONSTANT stress. But, their mother pretty much let them get away with anything...so, lying to us and sneaking around with their boyfriends was a common occurrence. In my house, they had NO privacy...caused a lot of problems, to say the least.

 

I guess what I am trying to say is, it really depends on the kid. My lil' Lerxst will have some wiggle room, but he has earned that with stellar behavior, and the fact that he has (so far) been very open with me. The second I feel that he is being less-than-honest is when his room gets searched and his phone monitored. Remember, you are COMPLETELY responsible for that child until they are an "adult," so you have EVERY right to monitor their phone calls, etc.

[HowItIs]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Mar 29 2011, 09:35 AM)

Resurrecting this thread to ask a mom/parenting question - if you have teens... When Kerry got a cellphone and a Facebook account, I told him I'd be checking them both periodically. He hates that I do it, and now I'm starting to re-think it. I've read that it makes kids do MORE sneaking around if you are reading their texts, etc. I'm thinking of telling him that I'm no longer going to monitor, AS LONG AS he is talking to me, and I know what's really going on with him, and that if I sense he is keeping something secret that he shouldn't (or something just doesn't feel right) that I will have to get more involved again. I do believe kids are entitled to SOME measure of privacy, but the problem is, I just don't trust teenagers... so I'm torn but hoping I'm handling this right. Just wondering how other moms/parents handle this type of thing?

Well, you have every right to keep an eye on the cellphone as (I assume) you pay for it. That's a matter of monitoring YOUR phone bill. If he doesn't like that, he is free to either give the phone up or get a phone in his own name.

 

The FB isn't as clear cut. I was inclined, with my teen, that if school (esp. grades) was puffing along fine and she kept me apprised of what was going on in her life, to give her quite a bit of leeway. I could always tell if she was lying - and I bet you can, too. It's a Mom thing.

 

Good luck!