Choose/the/light Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 this thread is getting ridiculous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleamingalloyaircar81 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 04:28 PM) Constipation A man alone, trapped in his home Backed up on the porcelain throne I felt the gloom of my bathroom A battle does resume Sometimes I felt so wound up I felt my clenched ass cheeks so bound up Persistence gave me confidence To go up against brutality On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart I've tried enemas and laxatives That my doctor prescribed me Irritable bowel syndrome Led to caked hardened feces And what it is I'm needing Sweet relief from anal bleeding Just one more who's straining forth A shit that ought to be On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choose/the/light Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 i can't even tell what song that is parodying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleamingalloyaircar81 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 QUOTE (Choose/the/light @ Jun 23 2008, 04:35 PM) i can't even tell what song that is parodying Circumstances dude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushgoober Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Three words, Taylor:Â Â BEST. THREAD. EVER. Â Â Â Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Did Lee Squat? Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 QUOTE (gleamingalloyaircar81 @ Jun 23 2008, 04:33 PM) QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 04:28 PM) Constipation A man alone, trapped in his home Backed up on the porcelain throne I felt the gloom of my bathroom A battle does resume Sometimes I felt so wound up I felt my clenched ass cheeks so bound up Persistence gave me confidence To go up against brutality On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart I've tried enemas and laxatives That my doctor prescribed me Irritable bowel syndrome Led to caked hardened feces And what it is I'm needing Sweet relief from anal bleeding Just one more who's straining forth A shit that ought to be On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidcrystalcompass Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 04:28 PM) Constipation A man alone, trapped in his home Backed up on the porcelain throne I felt the gloom of my bathroom A battle does resume Sometimes I felt so wound up I felt my clenched ass cheeks so bound up Persistence gave me confidence To go up against brutality On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart I've tried enemas and laxatives That my doctor prescribed me Irritable bowel syndrome Led to caked hardened feces And what it is I'm needing Sweet relief from anal bleeding Just one more who's straining forth A shit that ought to be On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart That rivals Tom Farter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleamingalloyaircar81 Posted June 23, 2008 Author Share Posted June 23, 2008 QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 04:38 PM) Three words, Taylor: BEST. THREAD. EVER. Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleamingalloyaircar81 Posted June 24, 2008 Author Share Posted June 24, 2008 *eagerly awaits goobs next classic hit* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 EVERYDAY FARTING In the house where nobody farts And nobody sleeps In the house where flatulence lies dying And the shadows creep A little girl hides, farting, With her hands on her ears Pushing back the farts, 'til the pain disappears Mama blasts some ugly farts Daddy pounds the wall They can fight about their little girl later Right now they don't fart at all No matter what they say... No matter what they say... EVERYDAY PEOPLE EVERYDAY SHAME EVERYDAY FARTING SHOT DOWN IN FLAMES EVERYDAY FLATUS ANOTHER EVERYDAY STORY RISE FROM THE ASHES - A BLAZE OF EVERYDAY FARTING In the city where nobody farts And nobody dreams In the city where desperation Drives the farters to extremes Just one spark of cutting one Against a starless night One glow of hope and flatulence A child can follow the smell No matter what they say No matter what they say... If the future's looking dark We're the ones who have to fart If there's no one in control We're the ones who expel the gas Though we live in trying times - We're the ones who have to try to fart Though we know that underwear has skid marks - We're the ones who have to wear them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Show Don't Tell Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 QUOTE (Did Lee Squat? @ Jun 23 2008, 05:39 PM) QUOTE (gleamingalloyaircar81 @ Jun 23 2008, 04:33 PM) QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 04:28 PM) Constipation A man alone, trapped in his home Backed up on the porcelain throne I felt the gloom of my bathroom A battle does resume Sometimes I felt so wound up I felt my clenched ass cheeks so bound up Persistence gave me confidence To go up against brutality On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart I've tried enemas and laxatives That my doctor prescribed me Irritable bowel syndrome Led to caked hardened feces And what it is I'm needing Sweet relief from anal bleeding Just one more who's straining forth A shit that ought to be On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart  I repeat:   That was brilliant, Gary! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Show Don't Tell Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Need A Crapper  I'm runnin' here, I'm runnin' there I'm lookin' for a crapper 'Cause there's nothin' I need, there's nothin' I want more In the whole wide world Well, I need it quick and I need it now Before I start to shit away That's why I'm searchin', that's why I'm fartin' Each and ev'ry day [Chorus:] Ooh, I need a toilet I said I need a John Ooh yes, I need to crap! This feelin' I can't fart above Ooh, yeah, yeah Well, I been fartin' here, I been fartin' there I been searchin' for about a week And I started feelin' this strange sensation My ass cheeks a gettin' weak Well, I need a place to sit down and shit I'm sayin' I need it now I'm gonna get the flatulence across to you Some way, some how [Chorus] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turn Me On Dead Man Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 The Final Fart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushgoober Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 QUOTE (Show Don't Tell @ Jun 24 2008, 10:56 AM) QUOTE (Did Lee Squat? @ Jun 23 2008, 05:39 PM) QUOTE (gleamingalloyaircar81 @ Jun 23 2008, 04:33 PM) QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 04:28 PM) Constipation A man alone, trapped in his home Backed up on the porcelain throne I felt the gloom of my bathroom A battle does resume Sometimes I felt so wound up I felt my clenched ass cheeks so bound up Persistence gave me confidence To go up against brutality On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart I've tried enemas and laxatives That my doctor prescribed me Irritable bowel syndrome Led to caked hardened feces And what it is I'm needing Sweet relief from anal bleeding Just one more who's straining forth A shit that ought to be On the toilet In deep frustration Pushing so hard Gripped by constipation Plus ca change Plus c'est la meme chose Every time I start All I can do is fart  I repeat:   That was brilliant, Gary! ty, everyone, i'll be here all week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushgoober Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Cut To The Cheese It is the asshole that lights itself And it burns with a gaseous flame Someone floated an air biscuit A foul smell that no one would claim It's the brown thunder from down under And it chooses the uphill climb Heading for the open sphincter Ready to blast forward all the time Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease Farting I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese It's the butt trumpet that ignites itself And ripples its way to the stars A putrid smell that warps time and space Anal vapor you could smell on Mars It's the curse of the anal leakage Exploding liquid diarrhea Repugnant as a lover's ass rip Evil as a bowl of ass cream Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A fart I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese Young enough to survive the blast A fart that's earsplittingly loud I'm young enough to remember the big one An exploding mushroom cloud I'm old enough that I'll gag to death The coming gas destruction I'm young enough to remember the big one Volcanic ass eruption Cut Cut... Cut to the cheese I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A stench I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese What vile odor can one person queef Cut to the cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PassTheAmmunition Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 24 2008, 05:55 PM) Cut To The Cheese It is the asshole that lights itself And it burns with a gaseous flame Someone floated an air biscuit A foul smell that no one would claim It's the brown thunder from down under And it chooses the uphill climb Heading for the open sphincter Ready to blast forward all the time Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease Farting I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese It's the butt trumpet that ignites itself And ripples its way to the stars A putrid smell that warps time and space Anal vapor you could smell on Mars It's the curse of the anal leakage Exploding liquid diarrhea Repugnant as a lover's ass rip Evil as a bowl of ass cream Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A fart I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese Young enough to survive the blast A fart that's earsplittingly loud I'm young enough to remember the big one An exploding mushroom cloud I'm old enough that I'll gag to death The coming gas destruction I'm young enough to remember the big one Volcanic ass eruption Cut Cut... Cut to the cheese I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A stench I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese What vile odor can one person queef Cut to the cheese i drove off the road reading this on my blackberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 The Enemy Fart Within Part one of 'Fear' Things fart in the darkness That imagination smells Farting makes your nerve ends Crawl like spiders on your ass cheeks Pounding in your gluteus And a surge of nitrogen Every ass muscle tense- To fence The enemy fart within I'm not giving in To bowels under pressure I'm not missing out On the promise of a fissure I'm not giving up On implausible scents- Of farting to extremes- Of farting to extremes Suspicious-looking stranger Just rips one dangerous fart Shadows across your buttocks- Was it only gas in the wind? Every fart a static charge- A nose that smells rectum Steely-cheeked outside- To hide The enemy fart within... To you-is it bowl movement or is it gas extraction? Is it bearing down or just sphincter reaction? And you-just gastrointestinal resistance? Is it the fart, or the fart's existence? Yeah, you-it takes a little more persistence To avoid accidental defecation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umoveme Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Goob, you are the Neil of ass lyrics... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushgoober Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 QUOTE (Lerxster @ Jun 24 2008, 04:11 PM) The Enemy Fart Within Part one of 'Fear' Things fart in the darkness That imagination smells Farting makes your nerve ends Crawl like spiders on your ass cheeks Pounding in your gluteus And a surge of nitrogen Every ass muscle tense- To fence The enemy fart within I'm not giving in To bowels under pressure I'm not missing out On the promise of a fissure I'm not giving up On implausible scents- Of farting to extremes- Of farting to extremes Suspicious-looking stranger Just rips one dangerous fart Shadows across your buttocks- Was it only gas in the wind? Every fart a static charge- A nose that smells rectum Steely-cheeked outside- To hide The enemy fart within... To you-is it bowl movement or is it gas extraction? Is it bearing down or just sphincter reaction? And you-just gastrointestinal resistance? Is it the fart, or the fart's existence? Yeah, you-it takes a little more persistence To avoid accidental defecation... Every fart a static charge- A nose that smells rectum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 23 2008, 05:38 PM)Three words, Taylor: BEST. THREAD. EVER.  this thread gets two fog horns and a gail force wind!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 FARTS I've stood upon my mountaintop and farted at the sky let rip above the pavement with my nostrils amplified - I emit this reeking a fart is how the ass perspires shortly after lunch sometimes supersonic but who can fart too much? - I emit this reeking farts of pleasure farts of pain baked beans and cabbage make me fart and fart again each repeated Bronx cheer leaves behind its mark sometimes they come rapid fire like Marines firing in the dark - I emit this reeking when I think about that smell obscene and farts to be set free when I think about the people who have opened up their ass to me - I emit this reeking toilet paper falls deep inside the bowl I need to flush it down I've seen friends walk up to the bathroom then turn around and frown - I emit this reeking parties turned to mortuaries the guests all stared and froze child in the line of fire and the gas that clouds her nose - I emit this reeking Farting leaves no fingerprint It surely makes hard to blame Memories of that room clearer I won that farting game -I emit this reeking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gleamingalloyaircar81 Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 QUOTE (PassTheAmmunition @ Jun 24 2008, 06:02 PM) QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 24 2008, 05:55 PM) Cut To The Cheese It is the asshole that lights itself And it burns with a gaseous flame Someone floated an air biscuit A foul smell that no one would claim It's the brown thunder from down under And it chooses the uphill climb Heading for the open sphincter Ready to blast forward all the time Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease Farting I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese It's the butt trumpet that ignites itself And ripples its way to the stars A putrid smell that warps time and space Anal vapor you could smell on Mars It's the curse of the anal leakage Exploding liquid diarrhea Repugnant as a lover's ass rip Evil as a bowl of ass cream Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A fart I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese Young enough to survive the blast A fart that's earsplittingly loud I'm young enough to remember the big one An exploding mushroom cloud I'm old enough that I'll gag to death The coming gas destruction I'm young enough to remember the big one Volcanic ass eruption Cut Cut... Cut to the cheese I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A stench I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese What vile odor can one person queef Cut to the cheese i drove off the road reading this on my blackberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liquidcrystalcompass Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 24 2008, 05:55 PM) Cut To The Cheese It is the asshole that lights itself And it burns with a gaseous flame Someone floated an air biscuit A foul smell that no one would claim It's the brown thunder from down under And it chooses the uphill climb Heading for the open sphincter Ready to blast forward all the time Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease Farting I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese It's the butt trumpet that ignites itself And ripples its way to the stars A putrid smell that warps time and space Anal vapor you could smell on Mars It's the curse of the anal leakage Exploding liquid diarrhea Repugnant as a lover's ass rip Evil as a bowl of ass cream Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A fart I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese Young enough to survive the blast A fart that's earsplittingly loud I'm young enough to remember the big one An exploding mushroom cloud I'm old enough that I'll gag to death The coming gas destruction I'm young enough to remember the big one Volcanic ass eruption Cut Cut... Cut to the cheese I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A stench I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese What vile odor can one person queef Cut to the cheese I'm convinced that you are a genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushgoober Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 (edited) QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ Jun 25 2008, 08:22 AM)QUOTE (rushgoober @ Jun 24 2008, 05:55 PM) Cut To The Cheese It is the asshole that lights itself And it burns with a gaseous flame Someone floated an air biscuit A foul smell that no one would claim It's the brown thunder from down under And it chooses the uphill climb Heading for the open sphincter Ready to blast forward all the time Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease Farting I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese It's the butt trumpet that ignites itself And ripples its way to the stars A putrid smell that warps time and space Anal vapor you could smell on Mars It's the curse of the anal leakage Exploding liquid diarrhea Repugnant as a lover's ass rip Evil as a bowl of ass cream Can't stop farting Can't stop farting Can't stop... I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A fart I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese Young enough to survive the blast A fart that's earsplittingly loud I'm young enough to remember the big one An exploding mushroom cloud I'm old enough that I'll gag to death The coming gas destruction I'm young enough to remember the big one Volcanic ass eruption Cut Cut... Cut to the cheese I let one rip An anal kiss of love That's a gas attack I'm not prepared to cease A stench I'm prepared to release Cut to the cheese What vile odor can one person queef Cut to the cheese I'm convinced that you are a genius. aw, shucks! Â I don't mean to toot my own horn, butt... Edited June 25, 2008 by rushgoober Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushgoober Posted June 25, 2008 Share Posted June 25, 2008 I've reached new heights of creative stupidity! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now