Lorraine

My first suppository! Yay!!!! :dweez: :cheers: :ebert: :clap:

Props to this. I think I want to be aware when I am checking out as well. That's why I'm so grateful for the Hemp oil. My father remains lucid with focus. The Morphine was dulling things. From the many accounts and reviews of Hemp oil, this quality to remain focuse d is widesread. If that is true, all the more reason to check it out. I may wind up hating it, but it is worth trying it out. Please feel free, anyone, to pm me details. Nurse was here for 2 hours. Morphine upped substantially as well as Ativans. Left me with good supply of enemas, suppositories, laxatives and aloe Vera wipes so I don't get too irritated. Also threw out my aluminum free deodorant . You know, the one that they say causes breast cancer? At this point, who cares? Right? :huh:

It was that or cry, but I made a smoothie because people are driving me crazy about making these smoothies that are supposed to be so terrific. I think all the stuff they made me drink before imaging and cat scans swore me off to smoothies forevery. Anyway, some kind soul provided me with an A-1 smoothie maker. I was so excited. I got all the ingredients together. Then I flipped the on switch and the smoothie wound up all over the place. I forgot to tighten the lid.

What his doctor prescribed him are meds to fall asleep, not stay asleep. I take two Ativans and one morphine and I sleep better than ever. Most of the time. If I awaken at 1 or 2 and my mind starts gong, I take another half of an ativan. It does the trick. I never even considered hemp oil. I won't be around much longer for one, and I have already told me that I do not want to be zonked out at the end. I want to know what's going on and be able to respond to people. But if anyone hands it to me and says use it, it is worth a try, I may try it. Thank you for the suggestion.

I never ever liked the stuff. I never liked the way it made me feel. If it can't get rid of the pain, it is of not much use to me. Besides, it is illegal in Idaho.

:musicnote: Love is all you need [repeat endlessly] :musicnote:

That they are! :) Aren't the flowers absolutely beautiful? They'd be even better if I was a better photographer, but I did the best I could considering I know about 15% of how the phone functions and what it can and can't do. Not even one of the hospice workers, whose job it is to report such things, telling me I look pretty bad, feel bad. Since we first met - maybe six weeks ago? - she said I lost weight, my face looks tired and drawn, and my voice is losing its oomph.

I cannot listen to any music other than gregorian chant. Anything else would rip me to shreds emotionally, and I am already in a bad enough state. But one song that keeps going through my mind is this one: I can't listen to it, but that last plaintive "I just want someone to love" ought to be put my on my gravestone.

That's beautiful. I could sit there for hours and hours and hours. Maybe even fall asleep under one of those trees if I had enough of warm blankets and a fluffy pillow.

Off to Mass, and I am praying for you whether you want the prayers or not, believe or not. (Watch out, TonyR - you get two candles ;) :cool: ) This is the highlight of my week. I'm all dressed up and ready to go. How do I look? :)

Autumn has always been my favorite season for many reasons - primarily it signaled the end of heat and summer, and the fall foliage was usually breathtaking. But now I think: this is the last Fall I will ever experience. Please. I'm not trying to be melodramatic. But that's the way I'm thinking because that is what is happening. Everything is finished. My life is over. There won't be a next year.

Thank you. I actually had a peaceful day but I am always so tired. So very tired Now my left eye is swollen. Mostly the pocket underneath near the outer end. Cold didn't help. Heat didn't do anything either.

Don't have the time to watch, but I think it was very nice of them to do that. I'm sure it even got Geddy excited. :geddy:

Someone told me that when I was in high school when I questioned her about happiness. Her name was (probably still is) Karen. She said life was made up of fleeting moments of joy and happiness. She wound up getting this top secret government job and making more money than Earl. I never forgot what she told me though. And now you say the same. Maybe that's the best and the most any of us can ever ask for. Now here I go crying again.

So will I, but today was not one of them. Maybe tomorrow will be better. :)

A true hive of scum and villainy. The lice will love it.

It was a really good day today. Too good. Days like this make me paranoid. This means I'll probably drop dead tomorrow. Only thing is my appetite is gone completely. I don't have to force myself to eat; I know I have to do eat, but my intake is half of what it was. My breakfast is half now too. So I eat a little bit all day. And the pain in my rectum when I happen to have a b.m. that doesn't look like shredded wheat. That's new and getting worse ' But I still have my sense of humor, and that's what I used to keep me sane this morning on my trip to Walmart while they tried to figure out my husband's prescription dilemma. Then when I stopped laughing (I could've sworn I heard someone from Brooklyn there - all of a sudden I hear a slap on the back and a real nasally "Hey! How ya 'doin'??? Good to see ya!") , I started crying looking at all the old sick people hoping this latest med will do the trick and bring them relief. Hospice nurse calls me tomorrow for end of week checkup. I have an earful for her. Poor woman. ;)

Another two beauties. You know, today was the first day I did not find one bee on any sunflower. We had it in the 30s late night and again it will be the same. Daytime high upper 50s and sunny. Still, no bees. I don't know much about their habits, but it would explain why they were working so furiously at those sunflowers the last few weeks.

Awww! A very happy 17th TRF anniversary to one of the most genuine and nicest people on the forum Hugs to you, dear lady! You deserve the best. :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

That made me cry. Here I am sober since June 1987. That actually is a beautiful idea. Stop drinking for one lousy month and give the money to help those with cancer. It you can't manage to stay sober one month, get yourself into either a rehab or an AA meeting because you've got a problem. I could feel all those positive electrical vibs across the ocean. Zzzzzzzzzz ZZZ zzzzZZZZZZZZZZZ. z-z-z-z-z-z-zzzzzz-zzz-ZZ No wonder why I had such a peaceful day. Even though the hospice nurse was here for almost two hours. She didn't have much to say. When she doesn't have much to say, it means that things aren't looking that good. Spent a long time listening to my stomach. Only one side seems to have any type of sound. I appreciate with all my heart not only the positive thoughts, but that you didn't electrocute yourself. You might have come out of that one looking like Joe Jackson. :scared: :yes: :LOLsign: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: "Look Sharp" my dear! Love You! Oh Earl, I could kiss you. You made me laugh. :kisshug: :hug2:

One of the absolutely worse days yet.

That made me cry. Here I am sober since June 1987. That actually is a beautiful idea. Stop drinking for one lousy month and give the money to help those with cancer. It you can't manage to stay sober one month, get yourself into either a rehab or an AA meeting because you've got a problem. I could feel all those positive electrical vibs across the ocean. Zzzzzzzzzz ZZZ zzzzZZZZZZZZZZZ. z-z-z-z-z-z-zzzzzz-zzz-ZZ No wonder why I had such a peaceful day. Even though the hospice nurse was here for almost two hours. She didn't have much to say. When she doesn't have much to say, it means that things aren't looking that good. Spent a long time listening to my stomach. Only one side seems to have any type of sound. I appreciate with all my heart not only the positive thoughts, but that you didn't electrocute yourself. You might have come out of that one looking like Joe Jackson. :scared: :yes: :LOLsign: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

Awww! Wish you could too. :hug2:

Hospice nurse on way over. Deo gratias