laughedatbytime Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 OAK RIDGE, TN—Snack physicists at Nabisco Labs announced Friday the first successful synthesis of a Quadriscuit cracker, a salty treat long postulated by the theoretical models of food scientists but never confirmed by experiment until now. “At the moment, this hyperwafer can only exist for six milliseconds in a precisely calibrated field of magnetic energy, positrons, roasted garlic, and beta particles,” lab chief Dr. Paul Ellison told reporters at a press conference outside Nabisco’s $200 million seven-whole-grain accelerator. “However, by bombarding the cracker with neutrons until it reaches critical levels of zestiness and crunchability, we believe we can one day develop a chemically stable and edible Quadriscuit. Needless to say, such an irresistibly tasty breakthrough could upend everything we thought we knew about snacking.” Ellison added that the snack’s existence cannot be explained by classical Fig Newtonian physics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I'd settle for a Triscuit that doesn't turn the inside of my mouth into bloody shreds. When they get that one worked out, THAT will be a newsworthy event, more so than what The Onion just "reported". ;) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 I'd settle for a Triscuit that doesn't turn the inside of my mouth into bloody shreds. When they get that one worked out, THAT will be a newsworthy event, more so than what The Onion just "reported". ;)I hate em too, but for some reason the rest of my family loves them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narps Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 When I need a cracker I will stick with an old school original plain old Ritz....... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 When I need a cracker I will stick with an old school original plain old Ritz....... My favorite is Sociables, more for the irony than the taste... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narps Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 When I need a cracker I will stick with an old school original plain old Ritz....... My favorite is Sociables, more for the irony than the taste...I don't get it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted December 29, 2013 Author Share Posted December 29, 2013 When I need a cracker I will stick with an old school original plain old Ritz....... My favorite is Sociables, more for the irony than the taste...I don't get it.... HInt: I spend a lot of time here... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I know nothing about Triscuits, other than Stephen King mentioning them in The Shining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narps Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I know nothing about Triscuits, other than Stephen King mentioning them in The Shining.In the grand scheme of life, you have missed nothing by knowing nothing about Triscuits...... :) As long as you know Ritz, you will be fine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted December 29, 2013 Share Posted December 29, 2013 I know nothing about Triscuits, other than Stephen King mentioning them in The Shining.In the grand scheme of life, you have missed nothing by knowing nothing about Triscuits...... :) As long as you know Ritz, you will be fine...I know Ritz! :D 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomesickAlien Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted December 30, 2013 Author Share Posted December 30, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khan Posted December 30, 2013 Share Posted December 30, 2013 LOVE Triscuits...my absolute favorite cracker. Eat 'em plain by the box ful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomesickAlien Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomesickAlien Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.png 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomesickAlien Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? http://i.imgur.com/P9v0EiT.png No more suggestions. If anyone should ask me what I'm doing right now, I'd have to tell them that I'm searching for pics of Triscuit and pistachio shell art and posting them on a Rush message board. Edited December 31, 2013 by substancewithoutstyle 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mara Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 LOVE Triscuits...my absolute favorite cracker. Eat 'em plain by the box ful And then spend the rest of the week eating bland mushy food because the skin on the inside of your mouth has been completely flayed away. You can't eat anything that might have sharp edges, or an acid base. Or anything hot. Eating an entire box of Triscuits gives you an insight into what life will be like in your nineties. I love Triscuits, I really do. They are the perfect conveyance for a nice slice of sharp cheddar. But it isn't worth the pain. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? http://i.imgur.com/P9v0EiT.png No more suggestions. If anyone should ask me what I'm doing right now I'd have to tell them that I'm searching for pics of Triscuit and pistachio shell art and posting them on a Rush message board. Oh you're making TRF and the world a better place with these...any macadamia art? Edited December 31, 2013 by Tombstone Mountain 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I missread this thread. I thought it was Love Triscuits. Not love Triscuits? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? Are these the famous Triscuits? :) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? Are these the famous Triscuits? :)You're correct. The triscuit. An American icon and staple of dinner parties. It's flavor is enhanced by cheese or potted meat products, such as vienna sausage or deviled ham. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted December 31, 2013 Author Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? Are these the famous Triscuits? :)Are there any other kind? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted December 31, 2013 Share Posted December 31, 2013 I always thought Triscuits were for the geriatric set, right up there with Ry-Krisps. The last person I knew who ate them was my grandmother, and she died ten years ago.They still make Ry-Krisps? Those things were awesome... I'm pretty sure they still make them. I recall them being dry and tasteless, but maybe that was just my unsophisticated childhood palate. Funny how many foods you hated as a child turn out to be favorites as an adult.Have you considered Triscuit art? You do well with pasta and walnuts...a Triscuit is mere child's play in your capable hands For the gerbils to sit on (or eat): http://i.imgur.com/ZkWPFHT.pngSee I knew you could do it! Talented man you are...anything with pistachio shells? Are these the famous Triscuits? :)Are there any other kind? :)I think the cushion is Chex cereal...can't be sure. Looks comfy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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