TRF Prediction Thread and Roast: Rushgoober's 30,000th post

[Tombstone Mountain]

It's been a confusing day here in Santa Barbara. Rumors swirled all morning that Goober's legal team would soon be releasing a statement. This caused the crowds outside the jail to swell, as curious onlookers, reporters, and sketchy looking new age types who'd heard of the Neverland cult, gathered to hear the latest. Deputy Fife, in typically inept fashion, was unable to exert any authority over the crowd, so he confiscated our "Justice for Goober" signs. Fearing he would resort to pepper spray, we headed back to the Thistle Dew.

 

After a lunch of leftover smoked ostrich, Lorraine headed into the town to purchase products to deal with her puffy eyes and morning bed head. She's been gone for hours, and I hope she hasn't abandoned me. I'd hate to be left here with only the rats and bed bugs to keep me company.

 

She obviously got too close to the truth! I'll be wearing my magneto-shaped tinfoil helmet to make sure that you can't find me. I refuse to be next!

 

If Lorraine doesn't return soon I'll come looking for you. The tinfoil helmet would be an appropriate addition to this thread. Besides, I think our room at the Thistle Dew is pre-paid for the duration of this farce.

Yep I'll pay the motel tab. However, you gotta put quarters in the vibrating bed.

[H. P. L.]

Intrepid YBG reporter, please don't put yourself in peril. Who knows what foul kind of dastardly lawyers Goobs might deploy if he perceives your quest for truth as merely a way to take the piss off him. He could sue you till the end of time.

[HomesickAlien]

It was a sleepless night at the Thistle Dew. Unable to sleep due to concern about Lorraine, I paced the floor with worry for hours. Then I discovered a box in the corner filled with old VHS tapes. Strangely, one was the Martin Bashir documentary, Living with Michael Jackson. As I watched that odious hack Bashir interview Jackson, I pondered what would cause Goober to become one of his lackeys. Finally, I fell into a fitful sleep at 3am, clutching the stuffed llama that I'd purchased for Goober.

 

I hope Lorraine returns soon. I have to get to the jail and she has our rental car. Maybe I should ask Kato for a ride; he seems to have a lot of time on his hands.

[Tombstone Mountain]

The only thing I know is that I trust the YBG to put me through these dire times.

We cater to our longsuffering friends in Italy...you are the life-blood of the YBG.

This is how I imagine the YBG editorial meetings...

This is exactly what its like HPL, except we have loads of Chinese food containers strewn about the office. Oh yeah, our production meetings are in color.

[Lorraine]

Don't ask any questions.

 

All I will say is don't ever pick up Hare Krishnas hitching. Who knew they were vegans in disguise? And has anyone here ever been to Laurel Canyon? Don't ever go there again. You may not make it out with your sanity intact.

 

The good news is that I was able to charm one of the vegans into giving me her stuffed donkey for Goobs. It will make a nice addition to his collection.

 

Has anyone else noticed how the proprietor of that wretched Thistle Dew looks a lot like the proprietor of the Bates Motel?

 

Any word from our brother in distress? If not, why not? Much more of this I do not know if I can take. I am all for sacrifice, but even Lorraine has limits. I may have to be in counseling until the chicks come home to roost at this rate.

 

As if all of this isn't distressing enough, my computer is acting up today. I bet those vegans did something to it when they were holding me captive.

[HomesickAlien]

Don't ask any questions.

 

All I will say is don't ever pick up Hare Krishnas hitching. Who knew they were vegans in disguise? And has anyone here ever been to Laurel Canyon? Don't ever go there again. You may not make it out with your sanity intact.

 

The good news is that I was able to charm one of the vegans into giving me her stuffed donkey for Goobs. It will make a nice addition to his collection.

 

Has anyone else noticed how the proprietor of that wretched Thistle Dew looks a lot like the proprietor of the Bates Motel?

 

Any word from our brother in distress? If not, why not? Much more of this I do not know if I can take. I am all for sacrifice, but even Lorraine has limits. I may have to be in counseling until the chicks come home to roost at this rate.

 

As if all of this isn't distressing enough, my computer is acting up today. I bet those vegans did something to it when they were holding me captive.

 

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call.

 

I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail.

 

I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous.

[greyfriar]

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state.

Meanwhile

[Lorraine]

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state.

Meanwhile

 

Jailbreak! Mercy me!! What will Sheriff Howard do?And as for you Greyfriar, here I thought you showed up here to help us out, and all you do is stand around on the sidelines eating popcorn.Did you at least bring a gift for Goobs?

[Lorraine]

Don't ask any questions.

 

All I will say is don't ever pick up Hare Krishnas hitching. Who knew they were vegans in disguise? And has anyone here ever been to Laurel Canyon? Don't ever go there again. You may not make it out with your sanity intact.

 

The good news is that I was able to charm one of the vegans into giving me her stuffed donkey for Goobs. It will make a nice addition to his collection.

 

Has anyone else noticed how the proprietor of that wretched Thistle Dew looks a lot like the proprietor of the Bates Motel?

 

Any word from our brother in distress? If not, why not? Much more of this I do not know if I can take. I am all for sacrifice, but even Lorraine has limits. I may have to be in counseling until the chicks come home to roost at this rate.

 

As if all of this isn't distressing enough, my computer is acting up today. I bet those vegans did something to it when they were holding me captive.

 

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call.

 

I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail.

 

I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous.

 

I couldn't call because my ObamaPhone was out of range. Haven't you even been to that dastardly Laurel Canyon??? Even the coyotes packed up and left.In any event, don't forget to pack cushions for the chairs. If you can't find anyway, bring those useless pillows that fleabag motel provides.And don't drive too fast. I still haven't recovered from my adventure. I need something to take my mind off of the events of the weekend. Here's hoping that the news conference, or Goobs' jailbreak - whichever comes first - does the trick!

Edited November 18, 2013 by Lorraine

[Lorraine]

For some reason my paragraph thing isn't working here.

 

What next??????

[Lorraine]

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state.

Meanwhile

 

He's headed for Germany. Watch for him rowing his boat up the Rhine.

[greyfriar]

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state.

Meanwhile

 

Jailbreak! Mercy me!! What will Sheriff Howard do?And as for you Greyfriar, here I thought you showed up here to help us out, and all you do is stand around on the sidelines eating popcorn.Did you at least bring a gift for Goobs?

Sorry Lorraine I'm too far away right now, I'm still in Rush heaven. Since I saw that DVD I'm not the same person anymore.

A gift for goobs, damn when he really tries to escape I better bring a file.

[greyfriar]

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state.

Meanwhile

 

He's headed for Germany. Watch for him rowing his boat up the Rhine.

What? Are the rumours true is he out?

[HomesickAlien]

Don't ask any questions.

 

All I will say is don't ever pick up Hare Krishnas hitching. Who knew they were vegans in disguise? And has anyone here ever been to Laurel Canyon? Don't ever go there again. You may not make it out with your sanity intact.

 

The good news is that I was able to charm one of the vegans into giving me her stuffed donkey for Goobs. It will make a nice addition to his collection.

 

Has anyone else noticed how the proprietor of that wretched Thistle Dew looks a lot like the proprietor of the Bates Motel?

 

Any word from our brother in distress? If not, why not? Much more of this I do not know if I can take. I am all for sacrifice, but even Lorraine has limits. I may have to be in counseling until the chicks come home to roost at this rate.

 

As if all of this isn't distressing enough, my computer is acting up today. I bet those vegans did something to it when they were holding me captive.

 

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call.

 

I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail.

 

I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous.

 

I couldn't call because my ObamaPhone was out of range. Haven't you even been to that dastardly Laurel Canyon??? Even the coyotes packed up and left.In any event, don't forget to pack cushions for the chairs. If you can't find anyway, bring those useless pillows that fleabag motel provides.And don't drive too fast. I still haven't recovered from my adventure. I need something to take my mind off of the events of the weekend. Here's hoping that the news conference, or Goobs' jailbreak - whichever comes first - does the trick!

 

Your time with the Hare Krishnas must have been traumatic. I should probably throw out that tambourine I found on the back seat of our rental car.

[HomesickAlien]

Any news on Goobs? I've heard a rumour here at the local butchery, that he plans a jailbreak! Can anyone confirm this and if yes, what are his plans? The rumour has it he will seek refuge in Goober state.

Meanwhile

 

He's headed for Germany. Watch for him rowing his boat up the Rhine.

What? Are the rumours true is he out?

 

All we've heard are rumors. There was a rumor yesterday that Goober's "legal team" would be releasing a statement. . . but nothing. I guess the public defender doesn't work on Sunday. :laughing guy:

[Lorraine]

Don't ask any questions.

 

All I will say is don't ever pick up Hare Krishnas hitching. Who knew they were vegans in disguise? And has anyone here ever been to Laurel Canyon? Don't ever go there again. You may not make it out with your sanity intact.

 

The good news is that I was able to charm one of the vegans into giving me her stuffed donkey for Goobs. It will make a nice addition to his collection.

 

Has anyone else noticed how the proprietor of that wretched Thistle Dew looks a lot like the proprietor of the Bates Motel?

 

Any word from our brother in distress? If not, why not? Much more of this I do not know if I can take. I am all for sacrifice, but even Lorraine has limits. I may have to be in counseling until the chicks come home to roost at this rate.

 

As if all of this isn't distressing enough, my computer is acting up today. I bet those vegans did something to it when they were holding me captive.

 

It's a relief to know that you were incommunicado due to technical difficulties. I was wondering why you didn't call.

 

I put my gifts in the trunk next to your stuffed donkey, so I guess we can head over to the jail.

 

I hope we don't have to wait too long for the news conference to start. Those wooden chairs are uncomfortable, and the smell of rosemary makes me nauseous.

 

I couldn't call because my ObamaPhone was out of range. Haven't you even been to that dastardly Laurel Canyon??? Even the coyotes packed up and left.In any event, don't forget to pack cushions for the chairs. If you can't find anyway, bring those useless pillows that fleabag motel provides.And don't drive too fast. I still haven't recovered from my adventure. I need something to take my mind off of the events of the weekend. Here's hoping that the news conference, or Goobs' jailbreak - whichever comes first - does the trick!

 

Your time with the Hare Krishnas must have been traumatic. I should probably throw out that tambourine I found on the back seat of our rental car.

No!!! Don't throw the tambourine out!!!

 

I was planning to use it to panhandle.

 

By the way, did you slip in a copy of the Vapor Trails Remix CD with our gifts for Goobs?

 

Wouldn't that make a lovely name for a store?

 

Gifts For Goobs

 

It has such a nice ring to it! :)

[Tombstone Mountain]

The Yukon Blade Grinder

Felonius Munk Edition

 

 

11.18.2013

Santa Barbara, Ca

 

Santa Barbara Courthouse

 

 

Rushgoober: The Cult Leader Speaks

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder is proving omniscient as ever when news unfolds in the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” case. Marlon Brando’s famous line from the classic film “Apocalypse Now” seems an appropriate description of the situation—horror. Yep that’s it. Cannibalistic rituals, rock band mythology, and frightened animals running amok have been the calling card for this inner space oddity. The Blade Grinder has learned the disturbed leader of the cult has hired legal counsel and been granted a press conference of his own in an effort to clear his name. According to law enforcement, even the grungiest of ambulance chasers have steered clear of this case.

 

Except for one heavyweight. Who wants to defend the indefensible? John Grisham—Author. Lawyer. Master of Legalese. Willing to leave his Louisiana home for months on end to defend the ringleader of the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch”, Mr. Grisham informs the Yukon Blade Grinder that he’s certainly up to his eyeballs in challenges to overcome. The charges against the defendant are not easily dismissed with such overwhelming evidence on hand. Cruelty to animals. Criminal trespassing. Obstruction of justice. Accessory to cannibalism. Impersonating a Rush fan.

 

All of these claims are tall orders to overcome in Sheriff Howard’s town. The Sheriff, who has been a rock of stability for the city, has called a 10:00 am press conference for the accused. As media outlets push and shove for front row seats, the Yukon Blade Grinder is already there for today’s media event. Sheriff Howard steps up to the podium, accompanied by a shackled Rush Goober, lawyer in tow.

 

Today’s transcript:

 

Sheriff Howard: Been a very quiet weekend here. Thankfully things have calmed down since last week’s well-documented shock. Street crews have cleaned up the last of the ostrich and emu carcasses from our highly successful feeding program. We’re experiencing boisterous crowds outside Neverland Ranch, so we have a constant visible police presence. The Seven Cities of Gold dancers are in a safe house provided by Mr. Larry Flynt, and currently dealing with their own set of legal troubles.

 

Today’s press conference isn’t typical. We’re giving the accused access to you folks in order to say his piece before stepping into the courtroom. The county judge has given special leeway for this to happen. As you all know, Judge Hhang M. Hi, has a soft spot in her heart for dwarves, and Rush Goober fits the bill. So with that said, here’s the man of the moment.

 

Rush Goober: Can somebody please get a stool so I can see over the podium please? Either that, or some phone books to stand on—what kind of an operation is this?

 

Ok, I know that it doesn’t look good holed up at Neverland Ranch with a bunch of strippers in a barn illegally. At one time I was a welcomed friend on the premises. It honestly felt like home to me. After our dismissal from the Clockwork Angels Tour, we were very pissed about the way it was handled. So, the dancers and I just decided to take off and deal with our frustrations and anxiety in a healthy way. Things turned out very different than I ever envisioned.

 

I want to be as transparent as I can. That means brutal honesty. You can ask me any questions you want and I’ll do my best to give you a straightforward and honest answer. I’m told that I have a limited time to field questions. I can’t believe all the reporters here, hard to pick the first one to start off—Ok let’s go with you!

 

Songbird Magazine: Your relationship with Michael Jackson has been described as duo, not unlike Elton John’s collaboration with Bernie Taupin. Is that an accurate portrayal?

Rush Goober: Kind of…we weren’t “lovers” in the literal sense. We were just artists seeking the highest plateau of creativity. Michael would call me up from the guesthouse and just give me these incredible ideas. I would expand them in any and all directions. That’s how we wrote the hits. I had to live on the estate because he’s demanding when he was inspired—had to feed my muse ya know.

Songbird Magazine: What was the cause of the fractured relationship?

Rush Goober: Ever watch a TV show called “Webster”? f***ing Emmanuel Lewis! He was the cause. Next question.

 

David Fricke, RollingStone Magazine: You were a part of the British Repertoire’s Acclaimed Wee Legion, the vaunted acting troupe chosen to bring to life Clockwork Angels in a visual sense, what was your role?

Rush Goober: I was the cabin boy in the song The Wreckers and I was shot out of a cannon during the song Headlong Flight. Everyone in the troupe performed three or four roles for the entire show though.

David Fricke, RollingStone Magazine: We’ve been informed that your dismissal from the employ of Anthem Entertainment was because of a melee at the Orbit Room, the well-known establishment of guitarist Alex Lifeson. What exactly happened that ill-fated night?

Rush Goober: Well, it all started after a rehearsal. Treeduck was messing around on Neil’s kit, playing Hot for Teacher, which is no easy feat. Neil came over and commented on his execution of the song. Treeduck then issued a challenge to Rush for a “Battle of the Bands” at the Orbit Room. They accepted. So the BRAWL’rs threw together a group comprised of four blokes, wrote some songs. They performed and actually won the competition, hands down. Rush is just a bunch of sore losers plain and simple. Hector, Treeduck, Grau, and Tony kicked their ass every which way to Sunday. When Geddy, Neil, and Alex changed the rules midstream everybody got pissed and the fisticuffs started. Never pick on a gang of dwarves—you'll lose every time!

 

The American Journal of Medicine: Rumors have it the band supplied a stimulant to the acting troupe called Todem Natural Male Enhancement as a perk. Is that true?

Rush Goober: Yes, and I highly recommend it. Best thing the band has put out since Hemispheres in my opinion. It works.

The American Journal of Medicine: Did that increase aggression and sexual tension?

Rush Goober: It put a great deal of pressure on the Seven Cities of Gold dancers. Hey, when your work environment was like ours you tend to hit on your co-workers. When we took the medication they seemed to always be around. They thought it was cute and funny at first, hanging around a bunch of randy dwarves. But the power of Todem is not to be denied—just ask the dancers. Next question

 

The Yukon Blade Grinder: What’s with the nose? Why did you feed the dancers the nose of Michael Jackson?

Rush Goober: Michael gave it to me as a parting gift. Told me it would be worth millions on the open market. When I couldn’t establish the true owner of the nose legally, I was hamstrung. So during our time at Neverland, I thought it would be cool to be “one” with Michael once again, so we all took part in the ceremony.

The Yukon Blade Grinder: Is it true you wrote The way you make me feel? And if so, who do you write that about?

Rush Goober: I wrote it for Michael. I miss him so, so much….sniff. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody…sniff. Sorry if I did!

 

Sheriff Howard: Ok, folks our allotted time is up for questioning. This is obviously and emotional time for all parties involved. We’ll learn more at the actual hearings. Thank you for your patience and pleasant demeanors during an awfully unpleasant time.

 

In closing, I do need to mention that we’ve hacked into Rush Goober’s laptop. So much information to go through. It appears he was writing several books at the time of capture centering on a character known only by the initials TM. One called “The Life Works of TM: Understanding the Maze”. He was also was writing a lexicon of this person’s contribution to print media, which is quite substantial. We think they're relatives. We’ll know more about that later as our code breakers work on it

 

--End transcript--

Rush Goober. Villain? Misunderstood artist? The Yukon Blade Grinder is on a quest to find the answer to that very question. As our role grows in the full realization of this mystery, one thing's for sure...it doesn’t get any easier from here. With our field agents scouring Santa Barbara to gain more insight into the “Spirits of Neverland Ranch” we’re confident we’ll get to the bottom of this quandary. One painful step at a time.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Tombstone Mountain

[Lorraine]

He could have borrowed my high heels to see over the podium. Oh well, next time. If there is one.

[Lorraine]

Did anyone else take note of how Goober took charge of the interview? :) He still has his wits about him. That's a good sign.

[greyfriar]

:clap: :ebert: :clap: :ebert: :clap:

It's getting better and better. I can't get over the nose feed. :LMAO:

Good to see that Booger...äh, Goober is well.

 

Edit: Thanks for the supporting role in the story.

Edited November 18, 2013 by greyfriar

[Lorraine]

I think I'll slip a few sticks of incense into his care package that the Hare Krishnas gave me. He'll like that.

[HomesickAlien]

I think I'll slip a few sticks of incense into his care package that the Hare Krishnas gave me. He'll like that.

 

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goober's? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread.

 

Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ."

 

Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . .

 

Edited November 18, 2013 by substancewithoutstyle

[greyfriar]

I think I'll slip a few sticks of incense into his care package that the Hare Krishnas gave me. He'll like that.

 

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goober's? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread.

 

Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ."

 

Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . .

 

 

I'm in there too. :P

[Tombstone Mountain]

I think I'll slip a few sticks of incense into his care package that the Hare Krishnas gave me. He'll like that.

 

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goobers? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread.

 

Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ."

 

Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . .

 

The story isn't finished...patience. Edited November 18, 2013 by Tombstone Mountain

[greyfriar]

I think I'll slip a few sticks of incense into his care package that the Hare Krishnas gave me. He'll like that.

 

Haven't you noticed that our sad tale seems to be running in parallel to Goobers? Despite the fact that we're the only TRF members who've been willing to subject ourselves to the insanity of the Thistle Dew and environs, Tombstone doesn't bother to incorporate us into the story. Treeduck gets mentioned, yet there's no evidence to suggest that he's even visited this thread.

 

Not even a footnote: "By the way, we've noticed two misguided souls from TRF who've been protesting Goober's incarceration. . ."

 

Some thanks we get for helping to prolong the life of this pathetic thread. We're left dangling in the breeze. . .

 

The story isn't finished...patience.

Good to know that the epic cycle continues.