And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

[Citizen of the World]

I'm sure the head waiter, he will want to apologize to you himself. I will fetch him at once.

Well, I'm awfully sorry, I'm -- I really can explain everything. Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Wonderful what we can do nowadays. Ah! I see you have the machine that goes 'Ping'. This is my favourite.

That's definitely the cooker I ordered - a blue and white CookEasy.

I'll throw that in and a fiver, for the briefcase and the umbrella ... no, make it fair, the briefcase and the umbrella and the two pens in your breast pocket and the chair's yours and a fiver and a pair of ex-German U-boat commander's binoculars.

Are you trying to insult me? Me? With a poor dying grandmother?

If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead, but quick. And then we give you handful of ashes, which you can pretend are hers. Or, if we bury her she gets eaten up lots of weevils, and nasty maggots, which as I said before is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead.

It's 9 o'clock and time for 'Mortuary Hour'. An hour of talks, tunes and downright tomfoolery for all those who work in mortuaries, introduced as usual by Shirley Bassey.

Just mind your language... :tsk:

Semprini! :outtahere:

Yes! Tonight we examine the career of Gino Agnelli. The man who started from nothing to build up one of the greatest firms in Europe. :bang bang:

A man, well more than a man, a god, a great god, whose personality is so totally and utterly wonderful my feeble words of welcome sound wretchedly and pathetically inadequate. Someone whose boots I would gladly lick clean until holes wore through my tongue, a man who is so totally and utterly wonderful, that I would rather be sealed in a pit of my own filth, than dare tread on the same stage with him

He's in our Durham studios...which is rather unfortunate as we're all down here in London.

For the few who remained, life was increasingly difficult.

I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

Mr Hitler...Hilter, he says historically Taunton is a part of Minehead already.

I'm sick of all this bloody fighting. If it's not the bloody Treaty of Utrecht it's the bloody binomial theorem. This isn't the senior common room at All Souls, it's the bloody coal face. :tsk:

Bloody heck. Oh, dear, er terribly sorry about this, about saying bloody heck on TRF.

Now I've got to stand in the tea chest.

[blackhawkrush]

I'm sure the head waiter, he will want to apologize to you himself. I will fetch him at once.

Well, I'm awfully sorry, I'm -- I really can explain everything. Well, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Wonderful what we can do nowadays. Ah! I see you have the machine that goes 'Ping'. This is my favourite.

That's definitely the cooker I ordered - a blue and white CookEasy.

I'll throw that in and a fiver, for the briefcase and the umbrella ... no, make it fair, the briefcase and the umbrella and the two pens in your breast pocket and the chair's yours and a fiver and a pair of ex-German U-boat commander's binoculars.

Are you trying to insult me? Me? With a poor dying grandmother?

If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead, but quick. And then we give you handful of ashes, which you can pretend are hers. Or, if we bury her she gets eaten up lots of weevils, and nasty maggots, which as I said before is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead.

It's 9 o'clock and time for 'Mortuary Hour'. An hour of talks, tunes and downright tomfoolery for all those who work in mortuaries, introduced as usual by Shirley Bassey.

Just mind your language... :tsk:

Semprini! :outtahere:

Yes! Tonight we examine the career of Gino Agnelli. The man who started from nothing to build up one of the greatest firms in Europe. :bang bang:

A man, well more than a man, a god, a great god, whose personality is so totally and utterly wonderful my feeble words of welcome sound wretchedly and pathetically inadequate. Someone whose boots I would gladly lick clean until holes wore through my tongue, a man who is so totally and utterly wonderful, that I would rather be sealed in a pit of my own filth, than dare tread on the same stage with him

He's in our Durham studios...which is rather unfortunate as we're all down here in London.

For the few who remained, life was increasingly difficult.

I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

Mr Hitler...Hilter, he says historically Taunton is a part of Minehead already.

I'm sick of all this bloody fighting. If it's not the bloody Treaty of Utrecht it's the bloody binomial theorem. This isn't the senior common room at All Souls, it's the bloody coal face. :tsk:

Bloody heck. Oh, dear, er terribly sorry about this, about saying bloody heck on TRF.

Now I've got to stand in the tea chest.

Antoinette...from now on there is only one Montgolfier brother. :drool:

[Your_Lion]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

[Your_Lion]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

[Your_Lion]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

[Your_Lion]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

Give me my nose back!

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

Give me my nose back!

Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

Give me my nose back!

Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

Let me know the results by the end of break. And don't pick your nose!

[Citizen of the World]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

Give me my nose back!

Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

Let me know the results by the end of break. And don't pick your nose!

I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

[blackhawkrush]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

Give me my nose back!

Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

Let me know the results by the end of break. And don't pick your nose!

I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

I see you've got a Webb's Wonder today. :P

[Your_Lion]

Right, do you four boys take these two girls to be your seven brides?

The strange, damnable, almost diabolic threads of this extraordinary tangled web of intrigue will shortly reveal a plot so fiendish, so infernal, so heinous...

All our patients here are suffering from severe over-acting. When they're brought in they're all really over the top.

Look, you crumb bum, I'm a star. Star, star, star! :Alex:

Sorry, sorry, Timmy. Can we just go from where Mario comes in, we're getting bad sound, OK?

Noises are a major embarrassment source. Even words like "tits", "winkle" and "vibraphone" cannot rival the embarrassment potential of sounds

Get the new Pooh-Pooh machine. Embarrass your guests. :fury: Completely authentic sound.

Aah! I see you have the machine that goes ping. This is my favourite. You see, we lease this back from the company we sold it to, and that way, it comes under the monthly current budget and not the capital account.

The only trouble is, you gave me the idea before I'd given you the pound. And that's not good business. So, um, off you go.

Lend us a couple of bob till Thursday. I'm absolutely skint. But I'm expecting a postal order and I can pay you back as soon as it comes. Love Ewan.

And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?

He was really considerate to his mother, and not at all the kind of person you'd expect to pulverize their opponent into a bloody mess of flesh and raw bone.

Mrs Scum, I'm offering you a boot in the teeth and a dagger up the strap?

Now if we lived in Rhodesia there'd be someone to mop that up for you. :)

So now I'm cleaning up in here but I can't be really sad.

Cause you see I feel that life's a game.

You sometimes win or lose.

And though I may be down right now at least I don't work for Jews.

Give me my nose back!

Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

Let me know the results by the end of break. And don't pick your nose!

I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

I see you've got a Webb's Wonder today. :P

You're the first person to order a salad for two years. All the Eskimos eat here is fish. :boo hiss:

[Citizen of the World]

I wonder where that fish has gone! You did love it so! You looked after it like a son!

[Your_Lion]

I wonder where that fish has gone! You did love it so! You looked after it like a son!

Tell you what though, for free, terriers make lovely fish. I mean I could do that for you straight away. Legs off, fins on, stick a little pipe through the back of its neck so it can breathe, bit of gold paint, make good.