It's been a year...

[EagleMoon]

I guess learning boundaries in relationships is one of those hard lessons we all have to learn over the period of our lives. It's hard to let go of someone that you've shared with and who has become a part of your life, Even if that relationship has become toxic. I think everyone wants to think the best of the people that they know and sometimes it's easy to turn a blind eye to the terrible things that they do. Sometimes you just get sucked in and you don't realize what's going on until it gets so bad that it's ruining your life. Life is tough, and anyone who said that things should be fair, lied.

[ILSnwdog]

I hate typing with my phone. Makes me look like I'm drunk posting.

 

I hate posting when I'm drunk. Makes it look like I'm typing with my phone. :D

[Alsgalpal]

[Alsgalpal]

I've been really struggling since this year mark has passed.

 

Back in August, towards the end of the month, she was heavy in my heart and mind. I dreamt of her. I would cry and hurt all over again.

 

 

I just recently found out her kitty died at that time. I've always have been thinking a lot about her when bad things have happened to her.

 

She had emailed me telling me that she couldn't forgive what I had done and that she knows we did horrible things to each other. (I had posted on my LiveJournal ranting and calling her out using the LJ app on my phone, I set the permissions to private, but it made every post I made on the app public, and she saw it and threatened legal action since I took pieces of her journal and then responded to what she's done and what had happened to her and hypocritical it was of her to do what she did to me.) She knows and admits that she was the cause of the problem, but can't forgive me for how I responded. I emailed her back and told her I need her to tell my boyfriend that she was the one who started all of this. She hasn't. She never will. That's ok.

 

 

I have a friend who slept with my boyfriend when he told her that I broke up with him, but he never broke up with me, nor I him. It was a mess. Now, that gal and I are super close friends. We grew up together. We work a block away from each other right now and she's one of my closest friends and has been my rock through the best friend thing. She even has a friend that works with ex bf. Ex bf told her friend to tell my friend to watch her back around me. Really???!!!?? I've known her for 20+ years. She knows me better than ex bf did.

 

It still hurts. I still miss her. I still care. I sent her a text telling her I heard about her beloved kitty and how sorry I was. I didn't get anything back. That's ok. I didn't expect it, really.

 

She's doing well and I'm happy for her. But, she's still the same.

 

 

I look back and see the mistakes I've made. I see what I could have done differently, I see how I could have hurt her and I'm so sorry for it.

 

 

Maybe I'm just emotional because Eric is on a business trip and I miss him, but I've felt this way about her for over a month now. I've always been a bit connected to her. Maybe we will have that final healing talk.

 

Does it get better? It hurts. It feels like there's a hole in my chest ripping me from the inside out.

 

 

What's wrong with me? My best friend tried to destroy my life and take my boyfriend with her(her, her husband and E were all best friends before I came along.), his mom and step mom all despise me. What's wrong with me?

 

Why does everyone I love turn on me? I try to live honestly, lovingly, and I don't put up with shit. I speak my mind, but I go out of my way to be good to people. I do have issues with depression and can be a royal bitch, but usually hole up or disappear when I need to to keep people from really really hating me. I've not done a good enough job.

 

 

I hurt so much. :(

[EagleMoon]

Sounds like it's their problem nothing wrong with you. Sometimes you just have to purge people from your life and move on to something better. Quit blaming yourself.

[Ya_Big_Tree]

Honestly someone who will go out of their way to hurt you and betray you like that isn't worth your energy thinking about.

They aren't worth your time that is much better spent on things and people who make you happy and deserve your attention.

 

I have forgiven A LOT of things in the past with a lot of people... but that doesn't mean I forget, it just means I choose to not give them the power of that over me. Life is too short to waste on people who aren't worth their weight in salt.

 

Believe me.

[Maverick]

I've been really struggling since this year mark has passed.

 

Back in August, towards the end of the month, she was heavy in my heart and mind. I dreamt of her. I would cry and hurt all over again.

 

 

I just recently found out her kitty died at that time. I've always have been thinking a lot about her when bad things have happened to her.

 

She had emailed me telling me that she couldn't forgive what I had done and that she knows we did horrible things to each other. (I had posted on my LiveJournal ranting and calling her out using the LJ app on my phone, I set the permissions to private, but it made every post I made on the app public, and she saw it and threatened legal action since I took pieces of her journal and then responded to what she's done and what had happened to her and hypocritical it was of her to do what she did to me.) She knows and admits that she was the cause of the problem, but can't forgive me for how I responded. I emailed her back and told her I need her to tell my boyfriend that she was the one who started all of this. She hasn't. She never will. That's ok.

 

 

I have a friend who slept with my boyfriend when he told her that I broke up with him, but he never broke up with me, nor I him. It was a mess. Now, that gal and I are super close friends. We grew up together. We work a block away from each other right now and she's one of my closest friends and has been my rock through the best friend thing. She even has a friend that works with ex bf. Ex bf told her friend to tell my friend to watch her back around me. Really???!!!?? I've known her for 20+ years. She knows me better than ex bf did.

 

It still hurts. I still miss her. I still care. I sent her a text telling her I heard about her beloved kitty and how sorry I was. I didn't get anything back. That's ok. I didn't expect it, really.

 

She's doing well and I'm happy for her. But, she's still the same.

 

 

I look back and see the mistakes I've made. I see what I could have done differently, I see how I could have hurt her and I'm so sorry for it.

 

 

Maybe I'm just emotional because Eric is on a business trip and I miss him, but I've felt this way about her for over a month now. I've always been a bit connected to her. Maybe we will have that final healing talk.

 

Does it get better? It hurts. It feels like there's a hole in my chest ripping me from the inside out.

 

 

What's wrong with me? My best friend tried to destroy my life and take my boyfriend with her(her, her husband and E were all best friends before I came along.), his mom and step mom all despise me. What's wrong with me?

 

Why does everyone I love turn on me? I try to live honestly, lovingly, and I don't put up with shit. I speak my mind, but I go out of my way to be good to people. I do have issues with depression and can be a royal bitch, but usually hole up or disappear when I need to to keep people from really really hating me. I've not done a good enough job.

 

 

I hurt so much. :(

 

http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff508/blackcc/Smilies%20GIFs/tear.gif

[Babycat]

I've been really struggling since this year mark has passed.

 

Back in August, towards the end of the month, she was heavy in my heart and mind. I dreamt of her. I would cry and hurt all over again.

 

 

I just recently found out her kitty died at that time. I've always have been thinking a lot about her when bad things have happened to her.

 

She had emailed me telling me that she couldn't forgive what I had done and that she knows we did horrible things to each other. (I had posted on my LiveJournal ranting and calling her out using the LJ app on my phone, I set the permissions to private, but it made every post I made on the app public, and she saw it and threatened legal action since I took pieces of her journal and then responded to what she's done and what had happened to her and hypocritical it was of her to do what she did to me.) She knows and admits that she was the cause of the problem, but can't forgive me for how I responded. I emailed her back and told her I need her to tell my boyfriend that she was the one who started all of this. She hasn't. She never will. That's ok.

 

 

I have a friend who slept with my boyfriend when he told her that I broke up with him, but he never broke up with me, nor I him. It was a mess. Now, that gal and I are super close friends. We grew up together. We work a block away from each other right now and she's one of my closest friends and has been my rock through the best friend thing. She even has a friend that works with ex bf. Ex bf told her friend to tell my friend to watch her back around me. Really???!!!?? I've known her for 20+ years. She knows me better than ex bf did.

 

It still hurts. I still miss her. I still care. I sent her a text telling her I heard about her beloved kitty and how sorry I was. I didn't get anything back. That's ok. I didn't expect it, really.

 

She's doing well and I'm happy for her. But, she's still the same.

 

 

I look back and see the mistakes I've made. I see what I could have done differently, I see how I could have hurt her and I'm so sorry for it.

 

 

Maybe I'm just emotional because Eric is on a business trip and I miss him, but I've felt this way about her for over a month now. I've always been a bit connected to her. Maybe we will have that final healing talk.

 

Does it get better? It hurts. It feels like there's a hole in my chest ripping me from the inside out.

 

 

What's wrong with me? My best friend tried to destroy my life and take my boyfriend with her(her, her husband and E were all best friends before I came along.), his mom and step mom all despise me. What's wrong with me?

 

Why does everyone I love turn on me? I try to live honestly, lovingly, and I don't put up with shit. I speak my mind, but I go out of my way to be good to people. I do have issues with depression and can be a royal bitch, but usually hole up or disappear when I need to to keep people from really really hating me. I've not done a good enough job.

 

 

I hurt so much. :(

 

There is nothing wrong with you. You're sweet, honest, kind. Remember that.

[Alsgalpal]

Thank you. I talked to my mom this weekend about it. She always said to just get over it. That this woman wasn't someone I should want in my life.

 

I don't think she realises that in one months time, I lost both jobs, my best friend and she almost took my boyfriend with her. I was devastated and I could hardly function in my day to day life. I had no life. I feel like I'm still picking up the pieces when she moved on and is happy and perfect in her life. I was just a tool to make her feel better about herself. That's how I feel.

 

I take people as they are. Faults, inconsistencies, issues, baggage and all of it. I forgive people. I don't forget though. I forgive them. I love unconditionally.

 

I think there isn't enough of that in this world. In the days of reality shows where people hurt each other and are pigs to each other and it feels good to 'pay back' wrongs and then dump people for simple mistakes (not the above mentioned transgressions!!!), this world needs more love and unconditional friendships. We just don't have that anymore. Everyone is every person for themselves. If someone wants something, they don't care who they take out in the process.

 

I wish there was something I could say to her that would make her realise just how much I miss her without seeming like I'm begging or kissing her ass. I'm forgiving and loving, but I'm not weak.

Edited October 21, 2013 by Alsgalpal

[Narps]

Thank you. I talked to my mom this weekend about it. She always said to just get over it. That this woman wasn't someone I should want in my life.

 

I don't think she realises that in one months time, I lost both jobs, my best friend and she almost took my boyfriend with her. I was devastated and I could hardly function in my day to day life. I had no life. I feel like I'm still picking up the pieces when she moved on and is happy and perfect in her life. I was just a tool to make her feel better about herself. That's how I feel.

 

I take people as they are. Faults, inconsistencies, issues, baggage and all of it. I forgive people. I don't forget though. I forgive them. I love unconditionally.

 

I think there isn't enough of that in this world. In the days of reality shows where people hurt each other and are pigs to each other and it feels good to 'pay back' wrongs and then dump people for simple mistakes (not the above mentioned transgressions!!!), this world needs more love and unconditional friendships. We just don't have that anymore. Everyone is every person for themselves. If someone wants something, they don't care who they take out in the process.

 

I wish there was something I could say to her that would make her realise just how much I miss her without seeming like I'm begging or kissing her ass. I'm forgiving and loving, but I'm not weak.

Amen. I believe back in my day they call that a lack of "Home Training" :codger: A set of basic principle's and mores taught to you typically by the two people that made you. Where did that go!? :(