Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v636/palominodweezil/images.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 http://sa.nextwish.org/Unsorted/War%20Photos/Peace%20girl.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 http://www.networkforgood.org/images/program_pages/child_abuse.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 http://www.thejcdp.com/issue002/amyot/graphics/abuse.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let The Fray Begin Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 Hopefully I don't mis-interperet the meaning of your thread, Dweez, and I apologize if I do...... 6 years ago, when I was 10, my mom was assaulted by a co-woker, a fellow teacher. For weeks leading up to it he had been coming in to the classroom and uttering obscenities and making her feel comfortable, until the day he came in and smacked her around, for seemingly no reason. She pressed charges, but got nowhere because everyone in the school stood up for the dickhead teacher that hit her because they didn't want negative publicity cast upon their school. This, coupled with a terrible childhood, threw my mom into a serious depression from which she has never recovered....... it has landed her in the hospital, from which she has escaped and shown up at my elementary school, yelling at me for no reason, coming home to her throwing mugs at me, my dad and the wall, spitting on my face, overdosing on drugs, having ambulances come to our house at 2 in the morning, slit wrists, and a severe money problem as my family tried to live on one income. this made me question life more than once... and the value of living in a life where such heinous things could happen to a person. Its been Rush that's helped me get through these difficult times, strangely enough, and I've never been to one of their shows...... just thought I'd post some of my dealings with life, sorry if i'm out of line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 QUOTE (Let The Fray Begin @ Feb 24 2005, 08:09 PM) Hopefully I don't mis-interperet the meaning of your thread, Dweez, and I apologize if I do...... 6 years ago, when I was 10, my mom was assaulted by a co-woker, a fellow teacher. For weeks leading up to it he had been coming in to the classroom and uttering obscenities and making her feel comfortable, until the day he came in and smacked her around, for seemingly no reason. She pressed charges, but got nowhere because everyone in the school stood up for the dickhead teacher that hit her because they didn't want negative publicity cast upon their school. This, coupled with a terrible childhood, threw my mom into a serious depression from which she has never recovered....... it has landed her in the hospital, from which she has escaped and shown up at my elementary school, yelling at me for no reason, coming home to her throwing mugs at me, my dad and the wall, spitting on my face, overdosing on drugs, having ambulances come to our house at 2 in the morning, slit wrists, and a severe money problem as my family tried to live on one income. this made me question life more than once... and the value of living in a life where such heinous things could happen to a person. Its been Rush that's helped me get through these difficult times, strangely enough, and I've never been to one of their shows...... just thought I'd post some of my dealings with life, sorry if i'm out of line. Welcome to the Sanity thread, brother. You are loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 I had a huge anxiety attack today even though I took some meds before the meeting. I'm so f*cked up I don't want to deal with life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 QUOTE (Let The Fray Begin @ Feb 24 2005, 09:09 PM) Hopefully I don't mis-interperet the meaning of your thread, Dweez, and I apologize if I do...... 6 years ago, when I was 10, my mom was assaulted by a co-woker, a fellow teacher. For weeks leading up to it he had been coming in to the classroom and uttering obscenities and making her feel comfortable, until the day he came in and smacked her around, for seemingly no reason. She pressed charges, but got nowhere because everyone in the school stood up for the dickhead teacher that hit her because they didn't want negative publicity cast upon their school. This, coupled with a terrible childhood, threw my mom into a serious depression from which she has never recovered....... it has landed her in the hospital, from which she has escaped and shown up at my elementary school, yelling at me for no reason, coming home to her throwing mugs at me, my dad and the wall, spitting on my face, overdosing on drugs, having ambulances come to our house at 2 in the morning, slit wrists, and a severe money problem as my family tried to live on one income. this made me question life more than once... and the value of living in a life where such heinous things could happen to a person. Its been Rush that's helped me get through these difficult times, strangely enough, and I've never been to one of their shows...... just thought I'd post some of my dealings with life, sorry if i'm out of line. Your bravery is impressive, and it touches my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 25 2005, 10:42 AM) I had a huge anxiety attack today even though I took some meds before the meeting. I'm so f*cked up I don't want to deal with life. I don't show it, but I feel this way way too often. Sometimes life scares me, the pressure to handle everything is overwhelming, and I just want to run away. You're not alone. And I mean THAT from the heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Let The Fray Begin Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Feb 25 2005, 12:37 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 25 2005, 10:42 AM) I had a huge anxiety attack today even though I took some meds before the meeting. I'm so f*cked up I don't want to deal with life. I don't show it, but I feel this way way too often. Sometimes life scares me, the pressure to handle everything is overwhelming, and I just want to run away. You're not alone. And I mean THAT from the heart. Right... I woke up 6 hours ago with a rather large anxiety lump in my throat and it hasn't gone away all day. It may not mean much coming from me, but I have an inkling where your coming from, and I care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 f**k the world f**k all the haters. Bye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaWanna Posted February 25, 2005 Share Posted February 25, 2005 QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Feb 25 2005, 12:37 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 25 2005, 10:42 AM) I had a huge anxiety attack today even though I took some meds before the meeting. I'm so f*cked up I don't want to deal with life. I don't show it, but I feel this way way too often. Sometimes life scares me, the pressure to handle everything is overwhelming, and I just want to run away. You're not alone. And I mean THAT from the heart. Oh ino that feeling TOO well, thinkin WTF am i here ? im just a burden on all around me Why do awsume people that are goin places die for no good reason and im STILL here livin( if u wanna call it that) in this world. Somthings arent fair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 25, 2005 Author Share Posted February 25, 2005 A very good friend sent me this. Thankyou LizardWiz. A special song for you **********! http://www.rawmelodymen.net/pkzych/mp3/fix/i-love-the-world.[t&c].mp3 New Model Army - I Love The World The roll of distant thunder breaks, the afternoon of silence wakes They hurry through from Petergate as if they know this dance In fury blind, I drive at night across the moors, the open roads Beneath the freezing starry skies, racing in some trance These cities are illusions of some triumph over Nature's laws We've seen the iron carcass rust and buildings topple into dust And as the waters rise, it seems we cling to all the rootless things The Christian lies, technology, while spirits scream and sing Oh God I love the world Well I never said I was a clever man but I know enough to understand That the endless leaps and forward plans will someday have to cease You blind yourselves with comfort lies like lightning never strikes you twice And we laugh at your amazed surprise as the Ark begins to sink This temple that is built so well to separate us from ourselves Is a power grown beyond control, a will without a face And watching from outside I wish that I could wash my hands of this But we are locked together here, this bittersweet embrace Oh God I love the world And if one day the final fire explodes across the whitened sky I know you've said you'd rather die and make it over fast With courage from your bravest friends, waiting outside for the end With no bitterness but an innocence that I can't seem to grasp I know somehow I will survive - this fury just to stay alive So drunk with sickness, weak with pain, I can walk the hills one last time Scarred and smiling, dying slow, I'll scream to no one left at all I told you so, I told you so, I told you so . . Oh God I love the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-13 Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Feb 25 2005, 10:36 AM) QUOTE (Let The Fray Begin @ Feb 24 2005, 09:09 PM) Hopefully I don't mis-interperet the meaning of your thread, Dweez, and I apologize if I do...... 6 years ago, when I was 10, my mom was assaulted by a co-woker, a fellow teacher. For weeks leading up to it he had been coming in to the classroom and uttering obscenities and making her feel comfortable, until the day he came in and smacked her around, for seemingly no reason. She pressed charges, but got nowhere because everyone in the school stood up for the dickhead teacher that hit her because they didn't want negative publicity cast upon their school. This, coupled with a terrible childhood, threw my mom into a serious depression from which she has never recovered....... it has landed her in the hospital, from which she has escaped and shown up at my elementary school, yelling at me for no reason, coming home to her throwing mugs at me, my dad and the wall, spitting on my face, overdosing on drugs, having ambulances come to our house at 2 in the morning, slit wrists, and a severe money problem as my family tried to live on one income. this made me question life more than once... and the value of living in a life where such heinous things could happen to a person. Its been Rush that's helped me get through these difficult times, strangely enough, and I've never been to one of their shows...... just thought I'd post some of my dealings with life, sorry if i'm out of line. Your bravery is impressive, and it touches my heart. Same here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bastille Night Posted February 26, 2005 Share Posted February 26, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 25 2005, 06:33 PM) A very good friend sent me this. Thankyou LizardWiz. A special song for you **********! http://www.rawmelodymen.net/pkzych/mp3/fix/i-love-the-world.[t&c].mp3 New Model Army - I Love The World The roll of distant thunder breaks, the afternoon of silence wakes They hurry through from Petergate as if they know this dance In fury blind, I drive at night across the moors, the open roads Beneath the freezing starry skies, racing in some trance These cities are illusions of some triumph over Nature's laws We've seen the iron carcass rust and buildings topple into dust And as the waters rise, it seems we cling to all the rootless things The Christian lies, technology, while spirits scream and sing Oh God I love the world Well I never said I was a clever man but I know enough to understand That the endless leaps and forward plans will someday have to cease You blind yourselves with comfort lies like lightning never strikes you twice And we laugh at your amazed surprise as the Ark begins to sink This temple that is built so well to separate us from ourselves Is a power grown beyond control, a will without a face And watching from outside I wish that I could wash my hands of this But we are locked together here, this bittersweet embrace Oh God I love the world And if one day the final fire explodes across the whitened sky I know you've said you'd rather die and make it over fast With courage from your bravest friends, waiting outside for the end With no bitterness but an innocence that I can't seem to grasp I know somehow I will survive - this fury just to stay alive So drunk with sickness, weak with pain, I can walk the hills one last time Scarred and smiling, dying slow, I'll scream to no one left at all I told you so, I told you so, I told you so . . Oh God I love the world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 26, 2005 Author Share Posted February 26, 2005 Sometimes I wonder if your heart has been programmed with X number of heartbeats. If so, should we make them slow heart beats so we last longer? Cut out all that excitement? No more sex, I tell ya. Can ya mess with the programming to keep it going longer? If we are programmed with X number of heartbeats, I am truly wasting away heartbeats. I am not enjoying the time to the fullest. Too bad employers don't get that. Hey man, I'm here for a limited time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 25 2005, 11:33 PM)A very good friend sent me this. Thankyou LizardWiz. A special song for you **********! http://www.rawmelodymen.net/pkzych/mp3/fix/i-love-the-world.[t&c].mp3 New Model Army - I Love The World The roll of distant thunder breaks, the afternoon of silence wakes They hurry through from Petergate as if they know this dance In fury blind, I drive at night across the moors, the open roads Beneath the freezing starry skies, racing in some trance These cities are illusions of some triumph over Nature's laws We've seen the iron carcass rust and buildings topple into dust And as the waters rise, it seems we cling to all the rootless things The Christian lies, technology, while spirits scream and sing Oh God I love the world Well I never said I was a clever man but I know enough to understand That the endless leaps and forward plans will someday have to cease You blind yourselves with comfort lies like lightning never strikes you twice And we laugh at your amazed surprise as the Ark begins to sink This temple that is built so well to separate us from ourselves Is a power grown beyond control, a will without a face And watching from outside I wish that I could wash my hands of this But we are locked together here, this bittersweet embrace Oh God I love the world And if one day the final fire explodes across the whitened sky I know you've said you'd rather die and make it over fast With courage from your bravest friends, waiting outside for the end With no bitterness but an innocence that I can't seem to grasp I know somehow I will survive - this fury just to stay alive So drunk with sickness, weak with pain, I can walk the hills one last time Scarred and smiling, dying slow, I'll scream to no one left at all I told you so, I told you so, I told you so . . Oh God I love the world Great tune dweez..with some meaningful lyrics too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trance Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 26 2005, 02:49 PM) Sometimes I wonder if your heart has been programmed with X number of heartbeats. If so, should we make them slow heart beats so we last longer? Cut out all that excitement? No more sex, I tell ya. Can ya mess with the programming to keep it going longer? If we are programmed with X number of heartbeats, I am truly wasting away heartbeats. I am not enjoying the time to the fullest. Too bad employers don't get that. Hey man, I'm here for a limited time. You too, huh? Employers suck rice, I tell ya. The heart though, it's pretty wild actually if you think about it. It beats and beats every day for an average of what, 85 years? That's a lot of work I wonder too if it's been "pre-programmed" with the number of beats... that might be somewhere in our genetic code. I wonder if they will find that out, or if they already have? And if there's a way to change the number of beats perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 QUOTE (Trance @ Feb 26 2005, 06:50 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 26 2005, 02:49 PM) Sometimes I wonder if your heart has been programmed with X number of heartbeats. If so, should we make them slow heart beats so we last longer? Cut out all that excitement? No more sex, I tell ya. Can ya mess with the programming to keep it going longer? If we are programmed with X number of heartbeats, I am truly wasting away heartbeats. I am not enjoying the time to the fullest. Too bad employers don't get that. Hey man, I'm here for a limited time. You too, huh? Employers suck rice, I tell ya. The heart though, it's pretty wild actually if you think about it. It beats and beats every day for an average of what, 85 years? That's a lot of work I wonder too if it's been "pre-programmed" with the number of beats... that might be somewhere in our genetic code. I wonder if they will find that out, or if they already have? And if there's a way to change the number of beats perhaps? Funny you should ask. There is a book called The Pleasure Prescription by Dr. Paul Pearsall It is full of psychoimmuneurology stuff like that. And written so that dumb peeps like me can get it. One of my fav parts is how altruism affects your body positively. It's my bible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 15 2005, 09:31 PM) Kay. I got in major shit today. See, you peeps know more about me by reading my posts than anyone except maybe my kids. Dweezil knows she can be mean sometimes. Dweezil doesn't like to share her feelings. Being nice means peeps will take advantage of you and hurt you so it's better to give them a reason right off the bat and since they don't know you much anyhow, it will not hurt so much. The board is safe because, hey, it's just words on a f*cking computer isn't it? Hmmm. Still hurts. Apparently people share feelings in real life? I've kept this guy hanging for almost 8 years. That f*cker is so stubborn he wont give up on me. He says it's not being stubborn its that four letter word **** and he says I will never get rid of him because he knows I feel it too. I need help. Never ever ever ever trust a man. Lying asshole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Mar 1 2005, 11:19 PM)QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 15 2005, 09:31 PM) Kay. I got in major shit today. See, you peeps know more about me by reading my posts than anyone except maybe my kids. Dweezil knows she can be mean sometimes. Dweezil doesn't like to share her feelings. Being nice means peeps will take advantage of you and hurt you so it's better to give them a reason right off the bat and since they don't know you much anyhow, it will not hurt so much. The board is safe because, hey, it's just words on a f*cking computer isn't it? Hmmm. Still hurts. Apparently people share feelings in real life? I've kept this guy hanging for almost 8 years. That f*cker is so stubborn he wont give up on me. He says it's not being stubborn its that four letter word **** and he says I will never get rid of him because he knows I feel it too. I need help. Never ever ever ever trust a man. Lying asshole. We are not all the same dweez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted March 2, 2005 Author Share Posted March 2, 2005 QUOTE (Huck @ Mar 1 2005, 05:17 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Mar 1 2005, 11:19 PM)QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 15 2005, 09:31 PM) Kay. I got in major shit today. See, you peeps know more about me by reading my posts than anyone except maybe my kids. Dweezil knows she can be mean sometimes. Dweezil doesn't like to share her feelings. Being nice means peeps will take advantage of you and hurt you so it's better to give them a reason right off the bat and since they don't know you much anyhow, it will not hurt so much. The board is safe because, hey, it's just words on a f*cking computer isn't it? Hmmm. Still hurts. Apparently people share feelings in real life? I've kept this guy hanging for almost 8 years. That f*cker is so stubborn he wont give up on me. He says it's not being stubborn its that four letter word **** and he says I will never get rid of him because he knows I feel it too. I need help. Never ever ever ever trust a man. Lying asshole. We are not all the same dweez I'm getting too old for this shit, Huck. I see myself as some old lady with a shopping cart and not much else. ANd miserable as hell. Well, okay, Maybe some local crazy woman. http://www.mcphee.com/pixlarge/11377.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Mar 2 2005, 01:06 AM)QUOTE (Huck @ Mar 1 2005, 05:17 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Mar 1 2005, 11:19 PM)QUOTE (dweezil @ Feb 15 2005, 09:31 PM) Kay. I got in major shit today. See, you peeps know more about me by reading my posts than anyone except maybe my kids. Dweezil knows she can be mean sometimes. Dweezil doesn't like to share her feelings. Being nice means peeps will take advantage of you and hurt you so it's better to give them a reason right off the bat and since they don't know you much anyhow, it will not hurt so much. The board is safe because, hey, it's just words on a f*cking computer isn't it? Hmmm. Still hurts. Apparently people share feelings in real life? I've kept this guy hanging for almost 8 years. That f*cker is so stubborn he wont give up on me. He says it's not being stubborn its that four letter word **** and he says I will never get rid of him because he knows I feel it too. I need help. Never ever ever ever trust a man. Lying asshole. We are not all the same dweez I'm getting too old for this shit, Huck. I see myself as some old lady with a shopping cart and not much else. ANd miserable as hell. Well, okay, Maybe some local crazy woman. http://www.mcphee.com/pixlarge/11377.jpg Shopping cart? Local crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted March 5, 2005 Author Share Posted March 5, 2005 Roger On the road that I have taken one day, walking, I awaken, amazed to see where I have come, where I'm going, where I'm from ~excerpt from the Book of Counted Sorrows However, this road that I am taking at this moment is not one of sorrow. Rather, a most interesting twist of fate? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v636/palominodweezil/icon_flip.gif Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Take some time to make some sense Of what you want to say And cast your words away upon the waves Sail them home with Acquiesce On a ship of hope today And as they land upon the shore Tell them not to fear no more Say it loud and sing it proud today I'm not saying right is wrong It's up to us to make The best of all things that come our way Coz everything that's been has passed The answers in the looking glass There's four and twenty million doors On life's endless corridor Say it loud and sing it proud today Oasis - The Masterplan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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