LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun. Bart: Right, the leprechaun. Ralph: He told me to burn things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way. Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way? Homer: Yeah, but faster! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Moe: I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Carl: Oh no! Homer's going over those falls! Lenny: Oh good! He snagged that tree branch. Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off! Lenny: Oh good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks! Carl: Oh no! Them pointy rocks broke his arms and legs. Lenny: Oh good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him! Carl: Oh no! They're biting him, and stealing his pants! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Moe: Hi, my name's Moe. Or as the ladies like to refer to me, 'hey you in the bushes' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown. Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down. Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros. Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered? Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Trent: [walking up] The man knows what he likes. Homer: Just taking care of business. Trent: If you don't, who will, huh? Trent Steele. Homer: Homer Si ... uh, Max Power. Trent: Oh, hey! Great name! Homer: Yeah, isn't it? I got it off a hair dryer. Trent: [laughs] I like a man who can poke fun at himself. [looks at his watch] Ooh, hey, my one o'clock cancelled. Eh, you had any lunch? Homer: Yeah, but I usually have three or four. Trent: So where to eat? You like Thai? Homer: Tie good. You like shirt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau? Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it. Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ralph: [whispering] Lisa, what's the answer to number seven? Lisa: [whispering] Sorry, Ralph. That would defeat the purpose of testing as a means of student evaluation. Ralph: [pauses] My cat's name is Mittens Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer's Brain: Use reverse psychology. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Homer's Brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology. Homer: Okay, I will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Chief Wiggum on phone: Uh, Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh my god! He's dead? Chief Wiggum: Oh, I'm sorry. He was DUI. I get those two confused. (hangs up phone) Woman walks in: My name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was DUI? Chief Wiggum: Uh... talk to one of those officers over there. I'm going to lunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubled_mystic Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Donuts, I've got donuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Edna: Seymour, you have to think of the children's future. Seymour: Oh, Edna. We all know that these children HAVE no future. [Everyone stops and stares at Seymour.] Seymour: Prove me wrong children. Prove me wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Troy McClure: HI. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Homer: How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects (makes sound effects and laughs) Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LakesideMaiden Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting. Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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