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Post 3 useless facts


Geds
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1. I asked the postman if he could drop a line to my uncle-in-law in Arizona.

2. He said, "Well, son, I'll give you a lollipop if you give me 3."

3. I said "Man, man, why are you the pusher, man?"

4. He said, "Dude, I only asked for your zip code.

5. Then I was like, "Yeah right, you totally gave me a 6 of diamonds there if you know what I mean."

6. He displayed a look of confusion.

7. "You need help," said the postman.

8. "Well, I've never been so disappointed in service from a federal agency," I proclaimed.

9. He then slowly backed away from me, and broke into a fast run.

10. I felt an odd compulsion to run after him.

11. So I did.

12. I ran after him until he reached the police station, where he talked to lieutenant Brannigan.

13. "Sir, this man keeps telling me that his name is Nathan Detroit and that he runs a floating pea game. Is that slang for something?"

14. "Of course not," said the lieutenant. "He just wants a little porridge!"

15. Brannigan gave me a bowl of porridge with brown sugar and apples.

16. "Is that better little buddy?" he said.

17. I immediately nodded my head and clapped my hands.

18. "See, Mr. Postman? All he needed was some porridge and some love. Isn't that right, Nathan?"

19. "Yes, yes, lieutenant," I said. "So sue me if I like porridge and I don't like frilly doily doodles."

20. The lieutenant said, "I understand. When I was a young boy like you, I had difficulty understanding circumstances perpendicular to subsequent galaxies as well. Like this porridge."

21. He lifted the empty bowl high in the air.

22. He then put the bowl down the back of his shirt.

23. "You see, Nathan," he said, "with this bowl in my shirt, no repercussions will happen. Nobody can hurt me, and I'm in my own little world. Neither man nor beast can find fault in my solace."

24. "I've never heard such majestic speech," I said. "Can you do it again?"

25. He nodded his head, with just a little bit of froth at the corners of his mouth.

26. "You see, Nathan," he said, "with this bowl in my shirt, no repercussions will happen. Nobody can hurt me, and I'm in my own little world. Neither man nor beast can find fault in my solace."

27. I clapped my hands like a monkey that was trained to clap his hands like a really excited person with no hands.

28. When I was finished with the candy cane that I gave to the eggman, I continued making my case to the postman.

29. "You see, paragraph 8 of section 4 of article 1 of document 12 states that no postman shall ever make a transgression towards an employee or customer. Because I did nothing to provoke you, the action was unnecessary, and will now be considered null and void by paragraph 7 of section 3 of article 2 of document 9," I said, on only one breath.

30. "Well, I've never heard so much sense talked by anybody in my time," said the postman. "Now, about that uncle-in-law of yours..."

31. "Yes?" I said, with a bit of confusion, delusion, and allusion.

32. "Does he like chocolate turtles?" he inquired.

33. "Well, of course," I replied, "but only if they are in chicken broth."

34. "I will immediately send a package to him, free of charge to any constituent third parties whose contents will never be described by an entity outside the paranormal paraphernalia listed in paragraph 3 of section 2 of article 16 of document 426. He will receive it in a non-liable manner, without obligation to any particular object or person. Does that sound exciting?"

35. I once again clapped.

36. All was well...

37. ...Until the next post...

38. ohmy.gif

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My bike keeps changing gears by herself. unsure.gif

 

And the handlebars are slightly misaligned, wacko.gif I forgot to fix that.

 

Also, she doesn't like the wind. no.gif

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Today is Thursday.

My coffee is cold.

My cube walls are 60 inches tall.

Edited by OriginalFan
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I have a man-crush on Geddy.

 

I wish the foot-size thing was true.

 

The first time I heard the song "Serenity," which wasn't very long ago, I thought of Neil. Then, sure enough, Godsmack says it's about Ghost Rider. This leads to my 3rd fact- I should start a TV Psychic Hotline.

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Three more useless facts:

 

1. I don't know what a man-crush is unsure.gif

 

2. My computer fan hums really loud eh.gif

 

3. I just burned the chili fists crying.gif

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The plants in my office are dying.

 

Bad network maps are hard to read.

 

I love Microsoft Excel. (oops, that needs to go in the "Tell a Lie" thread biggrin.gif)

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I was expecting two calls today.

 

Neither of them called. sarcasm.gif

 

I could have gone for an extra long bike ride as well... eyesre4.gif

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QUOTE (TheRocinanteKid @ Jan 10 2008, 07:50 AM)
QUOTE (Screvato @ Jan 10 2008, 01:27 PM)
It's cold outside.

It's dark outside.

There is a crab on some beach somewhere eating sand right now.

Crabs eat sand?

yeah, seriously, do crabs eat sand?

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I'm listening to Yes.

 

I'm enjoying it.

 

Jon Anderson is a wonderful singer.

 

yes.gif yes.gif yes.gif

Edited by Jaye
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