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And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

Monty Python

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#61 Your_Lion

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 08:37 AM

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 08:23 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 11 October 2013 - 05:06 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 10 October 2013 - 07:01 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 04:12 PM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 10 October 2013 - 02:41 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 01:32 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 01:06 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 01:00 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 10:43 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 10:37 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 09:05 AM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 10 October 2013 - 08:52 AM, said:

We apologize. Those responsible for changing the caption have been sacked.
Better still, we can't afford to take any chances, sack the entire washing-up staff.
Now you may think that this is very harsh behaviour but let me tell you that our management consultants actually queried the necessity for us to employ a pantomime horse at all. :huh:
Oh... Bloody Hell! Er ... a Scotsman on a horse!
Yes. And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?
For breakfast every day, Ken places a plate of liver and bacon under his chair, and locks himself in the cupboard.
Anybody who did that round here would be laughed off the street. No, nowadays people want something wittier.
There is only one thing in the world worse than being witty, and that is not being witty.
Oh, what a frightfully witty song. :blush:
Anything goes in.
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pyjamas,
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in ...
I think we'll have to keep him, he's going down well. :ebert: He's more fun than he used to be.
What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it! :tsk:
The practised voice of the seasoned campaigner cannot hide the basic tragedy here... :bang bang: :blah:
Well speaking as Conservative candidate I just drone on and on and on...never letting anyone else get a word in edgeways, until I start foaming at the mouth and fall over backwards.

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#62 Citizen of the World

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 01:54 PM

View PostYour_Lion, on 11 October 2013 - 08:37 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 08:23 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 11 October 2013 - 05:06 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 10 October 2013 - 07:01 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 04:12 PM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 10 October 2013 - 02:41 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 01:32 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 01:06 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 01:00 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 10:43 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 10:37 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 09:05 AM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 10 October 2013 - 08:52 AM, said:

We apologize. Those responsible for changing the caption have been sacked.
Better still, we can't afford to take any chances, sack the entire washing-up staff.
Now you may think that this is very harsh behaviour but let me tell you that our management consultants actually queried the necessity for us to employ a pantomime horse at all. :huh:
Oh... Bloody Hell! Er ... a Scotsman on a horse!
Yes. And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?
For breakfast every day, Ken places a plate of liver and bacon under his chair, and locks himself in the cupboard.
Anybody who did that round here would be laughed off the street. No, nowadays people want something wittier.
There is only one thing in the world worse than being witty, and that is not being witty.
Oh, what a frightfully witty song. :blush:
Anything goes in.
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pyjamas,
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in ...
I think we'll have to keep him, he's going down well. :ebert: He's more fun than he used to be.
What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it! :tsk:
The practised voice of the seasoned campaigner cannot hide the basic tragedy here... :bang bang: :blah:
Well speaking as Conservative candidate I just drone on and on and on...never letting anyone else get a word in edgeways, until I start foaming at the mouth and fall over backwards.
Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that post about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once.... arrgghhh

#63 Your_Lion

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 02:28 PM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 01:54 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 11 October 2013 - 08:37 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 08:23 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 11 October 2013 - 05:06 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 10 October 2013 - 07:01 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 04:12 PM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 10 October 2013 - 02:41 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 01:32 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 01:06 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 01:00 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 10:43 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 10:37 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 10 October 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 10 October 2013 - 09:05 AM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 10 October 2013 - 08:52 AM, said:

We apologize. Those responsible for changing the caption have been sacked.
Better still, we can't afford to take any chances, sack the entire washing-up staff.
Now you may think that this is very harsh behaviour but let me tell you that our management consultants actually queried the necessity for us to employ a pantomime horse at all. :huh:
Oh... Bloody Hell! Er ... a Scotsman on a horse!
Yes. And, er, he never showed any inclination towards being a Scotsman before this happened?
For breakfast every day, Ken places a plate of liver and bacon under his chair, and locks himself in the cupboard.
Anybody who did that round here would be laughed off the street. No, nowadays people want something wittier.
There is only one thing in the world worse than being witty, and that is not being witty.
Oh, what a frightfully witty song. :blush:
Anything goes in.
Anything goes out!
Fish, bananas, old pyjamas,
Mutton! Beef! and Trout!
Anything goes in ...
I think we'll have to keep him, he's going down well. :ebert: He's more fun than he used to be.
What do you know about getting up at five o'clock in t'morning to fly to Paris... back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That's a full working day, lad, and don't you forget it! :tsk:
The practised voice of the seasoned campaigner cannot hide the basic tragedy here... :bang bang: :blah:
Well speaking as Conservative candidate I just drone on and on and on...never letting anyone else get a word in edgeways, until I start foaming at the mouth and fall over backwards.
Dear Sir, I am writing to complain about that post about people failing out of a high building. I have worked all my life in such a building and have never once.... arrgghhh
He must have died while carving it.

#64 KennyLee

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

#65 Citizen of the World

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.

#66 blackhawkrush

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Posted 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:

#67 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:03 AM

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:
Take this bus to Cuba.

#68 Your_Lion

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 05:27 AM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:03 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:
Take this bus to Cuba.
Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.

#69 blackhawkrush

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 08:43 AM

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 05:27 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:03 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:
Take this bus to Cuba.
Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
Stop! Stop this adaptation of "Puss-in-Boots!" This is the Police Department of the State of Venezuela! :smash: :bitchslap: :hug2: :poke:

#70 Your_Lion

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 10:25 AM

View Postblackhawkrush, on 12 October 2013 - 08:43 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 05:27 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:03 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:
Take this bus to Cuba.
Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
Stop! Stop this adaptation of "Puss-in-Boots!" This is the Police Department of the State of Venezuela! :smash: :bitchslap: :hug2: :poke:
Offences against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in. :tsk:

Edited by Your_Lion, 12 October 2013 - 10:25 AM.


#71 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:00 PM

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 10:25 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 12 October 2013 - 08:43 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 05:27 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:03 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:
Take this bus to Cuba.
Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
Stop! Stop this adaptation of "Puss-in-Boots!" This is the Police Department of the State of Venezuela! :smash: :bitchslap: :hug2: :poke:
Offences against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in. :tsk:


#72 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:00 PM

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 10:25 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 12 October 2013 - 08:43 AM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 05:27 AM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:03 AM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 11 October 2013 - 07:53 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 11 October 2013 - 04:00 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 11 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

He wouldn't have bothered to carve out Aaarggghhh.

Perhaps he was dictating.
Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
Now, when I've got these antlers on - when I've got these antlers on I am dictating and when I take them off...I am not dictating.
I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus. :laughing yellow guy:
Take this bus to Cuba.
Top brass were impressed. Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed the joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
Stop! Stop this adaptation of "Puss-in-Boots!" This is the Police Department of the State of Venezuela! :smash: :bitchslap: :hug2: :poke:
Offences against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in. :tsk:


#73 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

#74 Your_Lion

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

#75 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 02:01 PM

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.
All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

#76 Your_Lion

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 02:38 PM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 02:01 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.
All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.
What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

#77 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 03:28 PM

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 02:01 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.
All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.
What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!
I've never even been to Spain.

#78 blackhawkrush

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 03:58 PM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 03:28 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 02:01 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.
All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.
What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!
I've never even been to Spain.
The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

#79 Citizen of the World

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 08:34 PM

View Postblackhawkrush, on 12 October 2013 - 03:58 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 03:28 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 02:01 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.
All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.
What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!
I've never even been to Spain.
The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:
I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

#80 blackhawkrush

blackhawkrush

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Posted 12 October 2013 - 08:52 PM

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 08:34 PM, said:

View Postblackhawkrush, on 12 October 2013 - 03:58 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 03:28 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 02:01 PM, said:

View PostYour_Lion, on 12 October 2013 - 01:31 PM, said:

View PostCitizen of the World, on 12 October 2013 - 12:01 PM, said:

Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.
No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.
All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.
What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!
I've never even been to Spain.
The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:
I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'
Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:




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