Your_Lion Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!
Citizen of the World Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.
blackhawkrush Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir.
Citizen of the World Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'
blackhawkrush Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:
Citizen of the World Posted October 13, 2013 Author Posted October 13, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.
blackhawkrush Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence.
Your_Lion Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:
blackhawkrush Posted October 13, 2013 Posted October 13, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty.
Citizen of the World Posted October 14, 2013 Author Posted October 14, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.
Your_Lion Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.
blackhawkrush Posted October 14, 2013 Posted October 14, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...
Citizen of the World Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...It was a most elusive fish
blackhawkrush Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...It was a most elusive fish Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.
Citizen of the World Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...It was a most elusive fish Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
Your_Lion Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...It was a most elusive fish Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.
Citizen of the World Posted October 15, 2013 Author Posted October 15, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...It was a most elusive fish Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.he was convinced that he was being watched by a giant hedgehog whom he referred to as Spiny Norman
Your_Lion Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!I've never even been to Spain.The label says "Zurich", sir. I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.It's only a bloody parking offence. Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:I'll smack your little botty. Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...It was a most elusive fish Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.he was convinced that he was being watched by a giant hedgehog whom he referred to as Spiny NormanWhat d'you want one of them for! I'm not going to clean it out. You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now. Now it'll be ant ant ant for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, 'oh, mum, I've bought a sloth' or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.
blackhawkrush Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness.
Your_Lion Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.
blackhawkrush Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir. I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.
Citizen of the World Posted October 16, 2013 Author Posted October 16, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir. I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.
blackhawkrush Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir. I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.What? It's acting innit? Well, I'm a plumber. I can't act.
Citizen of the World Posted October 16, 2013 Author Posted October 16, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir. I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.What? It's acting innit? Well, I'm a plumber. I can't act. And now the moment you have been waiting for! Your chance to be like Sir Lawrence Olivier, Sir Alec Guiness, and Laurence Harvey in the privacy of your own living room. Yes, all you need is this record and the script supplied with it and you too can be a great actor.
blackhawkrush Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir. I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.What? It's acting innit? Well, I'm a plumber. I can't act. And now the moment you have been waiting for! Your chance to be like Sir Lawrence Olivier, Sir Alec Guiness, and Laurence Harvey in the privacy of your own living room. Yes, all you need is this record and the script supplied with it and you too can be a great actor.Come on you dogs, we have time to lose, this has gone too far. :ebert:
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