ThatLightInYourEyes Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Spaghetti Lee Has Been Sneaking Progesterone Into My Macallan by Neil Ellwood Peart It has come to my attention, as I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat, that a certain member of The Rush Forum's group of obstreperous ne'er-do-wells has used those pictures of my house on the Internet (Thanks, assholes.) to form a break-in plan to the room in which I keep my trusty liquor cabinet. This would concern me more if the member turned out to be one of many of those in the Sense O'Clock News forum, none of whom I would care to have on my property without at least an adequate sharks with frickin' laser beams tank for them to "accidentally" find once they start asking me why I'm not a fan of Rand Paul or his father. Or his namesake, at least not anymore. Damn it, I don't know. What do you people want from me, anyway? Screw you, this is MY guest column! Damn it, Spaghetti Lee is such a jerk! Am I having hot flashes now? I swear it's a thousand degrees out here. Maybe it's because I've been out in the middle of the desert again on my motorcycle. Why do I do that? God, I'm so stupid! Stupid female hormones... wait, am I growing breasts? Gah, are you kidding?? I am NOT taking a blog selfie with boobs! Michael?? Michael, do you have any liquor that isn't mine? Oh wait, just that stuff you drink? Eww, gross! Gawwd, how am I EVER going to face my wife again like this?? I mean, my boobs are bigger than hers! Well, okay, maybe they were before, but gawd. Oh no, is that one of my fans? Is he, like, seeing me like this?? Is he walking over to... oh crap, he has a cell phone camera! RUN!!! Phew! Man, I'm going to have to have these surgically removed. How do women live with these anyway? Spaghetti Lee, you are, like, SUCH a dead man! UPDATE: The Guys at Work visited and said that they don't notice much of a difference. Then they laughed at me. This sucks so bad, I'm gonna go in my room now and write a bunch of songs about it. Then they'll have to play them all. Serves them right. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted September 7, 2014 Share Posted September 7, 2014 Obstreperous. Is that a cousin of ebola? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatLightInYourEyes Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 Nah, it's product of Thesaurus. Certain types of writers do that... a lot. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savagegrace26 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Neil's grammar has gone downhill since his last blog. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughedatbytime Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Where's the other 100,000 words? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 (edited) I rather enjoyed this one. I didn't realize Neil and Spaghetti were so tight. All of his bad-mouthing Neil on the forum must be just a facade then. Edited September 9, 2014 by Lorraine 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tombstone Mountain Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 (edited) Where's the other 100,000 words?Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit RegardsTM Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!! Edited September 9, 2014 by Tombstone Mountain 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatLightInYourEyes Posted September 10, 2014 Author Share Posted September 10, 2014 Where's the other 100,000 words?Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit RegardsTM Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!! Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Where's the other 100,000 words?Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit RegardsTM Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!! Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it. That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CygnusGal Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 .. I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat...Classic! :ebert: Well played. :) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatLightInYourEyes Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 Where's the other 100,000 words?Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit RegardsTM Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!! Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it. That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key. Probably. As for the "Morrissey is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker, claimed by some of those house photographers to be on his Aston Martin, that must have influenced a lot of stuff as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Where's the other 100,000 words?Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit RegardsTM Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!! Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it. That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key. Probably. As for the "Morrissey is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker, claimed by some of those house photographers to be on his Aston Martin, that must have influenced a lot of stuff as well. But...who buys an Aston Martin and puts a bumper sticker on it??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatLightInYourEyes Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 Where's the other 100,000 words?Whoaaaaaa—she's a cub reporter. Gotta keep her reigned in a bit RegardsTM Yukon Blade Grinder, Editor in Chief PS—we're elated with the piece however. You go girl!!! Well, Chief, I tried my best to obtain the entire file. Unfortunately, I could only get the first paragraph after the unnamed source said Neil just didn't feel like sharing the rest of it. He's written more since then, but he insists on keeping it in one of those diaries with a lock on it. That diary must have been the inspiration for the lyrics to Lock and Key. Probably. As for the "Morrissey is My Co-Pilot" bumper sticker, claimed by some of those house photographers to be on his Aston Martin, that must have influenced a lot of stuff as well. But...who buys an Aston Martin and puts a bumper sticker on it??? The same guy who puts ice cubes in Macallan, I guess. Good thing he does that, or the symptoms would be worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Spaghetti Lee Has Been Sneaking Progesterone Into My Macallan by Neil Ellwood Peart It has come to my attention, as I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat, that a certain member of The Rush Forum's group of obstreperous ne'er-do-wells has used those pictures of my house on the Internet (Thanks, assholes.) to form a break-in plan to the room in which I keep my trusty liquor cabinet. This would concern me more if the member turned out to be one of many of those in the Sense O'Clock News forum, none of whom I would care to have on my property without at least an adequate sharks with frickin' laser beams tank for them to "accidentally" find once they start asking me why I'm not a fan of Rand Paul or his father. Or his namesake, at least not anymore. Damn it, I don't know. What do you people want from me, anyway? Screw you, this is MY guest column! Damn it, Spaghetti Lee is such a jerk! Am I having hot flashes now? I swear it's a thousand degrees out here. Maybe it's because I've been out in the middle of the desert again on my motorcycle. Why do I do that? God, I'm so stupid! Stupid female hormones... wait, am I growing breasts? Gah, are you kidding?? I am NOT taking a blog selfie with boobs! Michael?? Michael, do you have any liquor that isn't mine? Oh wait, just that stuff you drink? Eww, gross! Gawwd, how am I EVER going to face my wife again like this?? I mean, my boobs are bigger than hers! Well, okay, maybe they were before, but gawd. Oh no, is that one of my fans? Is he, like, seeing me like this?? Is he walking over to... oh crap, he has a cell phone camera! RUN!!! Phew! Man, I'm going to have to have these surgically removed. How do women live with these anyway? Spaghetti Lee, you are, like, SUCH a dead man! UPDATE: The Guys at Work visited and said that they don't notice much of a difference. Then they laughed at me. This sucks so bad, I'm gonna go in my room now and write a bunch of songs about it. Then they'll have to play them all. Serves them right. Love it! :P 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatLightInYourEyes Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Spaghetti Lee Has Been Sneaking Progesterone Into My Macallan by Neil Ellwood Peart It has come to my attention, as I gaze into the mirror and wonder if my motorcycle armor makes me look fat, that a certain member of The Rush Forum's group of obstreperous ne'er-do-wells has used those pictures of my house on the Internet (Thanks, assholes.) to form a break-in plan to the room in which I keep my trusty liquor cabinet. This would concern me more if the member turned out to be one of many of those in the Sense O'Clock News forum, none of whom I would care to have on my property without at least an adequate sharks with frickin' laser beams tank for them to "accidentally" find once they start asking me why I'm not a fan of Rand Paul or his father. Or his namesake, at least not anymore. Damn it, I don't know. What do you people want from me, anyway? Screw you, this is MY guest column! Damn it, Spaghetti Lee is such a jerk! Am I having hot flashes now? I swear it's a thousand degrees out here. Maybe it's because I've been out in the middle of the desert again on my motorcycle. Why do I do that? God, I'm so stupid! Stupid female hormones... wait, am I growing breasts? Gah, are you kidding?? I am NOT taking a blog selfie with boobs! Michael?? Michael, do you have any liquor that isn't mine? Oh wait, just that stuff you drink? Eww, gross! Gawwd, how am I EVER going to face my wife again like this?? I mean, my boobs are bigger than hers! Well, okay, maybe they were before, but gawd. Oh no, is that one of my fans? Is he, like, seeing me like this?? Is he walking over to... oh crap, he has a cell phone camera! RUN!!! Phew! Man, I'm going to have to have these surgically removed. How do women live with these anyway? Spaghetti Lee, you are, like, SUCH a dead man! UPDATE: The Guys at Work visited and said that they don't notice much of a difference. Then they laughed at me. This sucks so bad, I'm gonna go in my room now and write a bunch of songs about it. Then they'll have to play them all. Serves them right. Love it! :P Thanks, Babycat! Neil's always a tough subject, of course. Sometimes we have to rely on those really... um, dedicated Rush fans who tend to go through his stuff now and then. Of course, we have to wait for the security clearances in the places where they find themselves as well in order to get any news of what they discover. Thankfully, they're easy to spot once you get to their cell blocks because they're always the last ones picked to join any of the gangs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now