And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

[Citizen of the World]

What d'you want one of them for! I'm not going to clean it out. You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now.

...it's because we were thinking of training as taxidermists and we want to get the feel of it from the animal's point of view.

Now they have been joined by an enraged Jacques Cousteau... :bang bang: :eh:

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper.

He's superb. His gobbing is consistent and accurate.

Ralph used to spit - he could hit a Van Gogh at thirty yards.

:spitwater: Sounds more like Dickens...

Ah well, I can't touch him. He's a novelist.

Well tried, Harry. Harry Bagot, you're from Luton? Well, thank you, Harry. :syrinx:

Harry, I want you to sell me a condom

Yeah. Splunge for me too. :ebert:

Mr blackhawkrush, I think you're the silliest person we've ever had on this thread, and so I'm going to ask you to have dinner with me.

Um, incidentally, do call me Robert. I don't want you bothering with this "blackhawkrush" nonsense. :hi:

Oh Robert, do you mean that?

Oh, forget him! What's your name, deary?

it's spelt Raymond Luxury Yach-t, but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove

...son of Gudleif, half brother of Thorgier, the priest of Ljosa water, who took to wife Thurunn, the mother of Thorkel Braggart, the slayer of Cudround the powerful, who knew Howal, son of Geernon, son of Erik from Valdalesc, son of Arval Gristlebeard, son of Harken, who killed Bjortguaard in Sochnadale in Norway over Cudreed, daughter of Thorkel Long, the son of Kettle-Trout, the half son of Harviyoun Half-troll, father of Ingbare the Brave, who with Isenbert of Gottenberg the daughter of Hangbard the Fierce ...

Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

Yes, yes! One final question, Karl, and the beautiful lounge suite will be yours! :clap:

What is the next number in this sequence - 2, 4, 6. . .

[Your_Lion]

What d'you want one of them for! I'm not going to clean it out. You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now.

...it's because we were thinking of training as taxidermists and we want to get the feel of it from the animal's point of view.

Now they have been joined by an enraged Jacques Cousteau... :bang bang: :eh:

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper.

He's superb. His gobbing is consistent and accurate.

Ralph used to spit - he could hit a Van Gogh at thirty yards.

:spitwater: Sounds more like Dickens...

Ah well, I can't touch him. He's a novelist.

Well tried, Harry. Harry Bagot, you're from Luton? Well, thank you, Harry. :syrinx:

Harry, I want you to sell me a condom

Yeah. Splunge for me too. :ebert:

Mr blackhawkrush, I think you're the silliest person we've ever had on this thread, and so I'm going to ask you to have dinner with me.

Um, incidentally, do call me Robert. I don't want you bothering with this "blackhawkrush" nonsense. :hi:

Oh Robert, do you mean that?

Oh, forget him! What's your name, deary?

it's spelt Raymond Luxury Yach-t, but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove

...son of Gudleif, half brother of Thorgier, the priest of Ljosa water, who took to wife Thurunn, the mother of Thorkel Braggart, the slayer of Cudround the powerful, who knew Howal, son of Geernon, son of Erik from Valdalesc, son of Arval Gristlebeard, son of Harken, who killed Bjortguaard in Sochnadale in Norway over Cudreed, daughter of Thorkel Long, the son of Kettle-Trout, the half son of Harviyoun Half-troll, father of Ingbare the Brave, who with Isenbert of Gottenberg the daughter of Hangbard the Fierce ...

Very nice. And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.

Yes, yes! One final question, Karl, and the beautiful lounge suite will be yours! :clap:

What is the next number in this sequence - 2, 4, 6. . .

That I don't know. I just don't know. I really just don't know. I'm afraid I really just don't know. I'm afraid even I really just don't know. I have to tell you I'm afraid even I really just don't know. I'm afraid I have to tell you...

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

[Citizen of the World]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

[Citizen of the World]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

[Citizen of the World]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

[Citizen of the World]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

[Citizen of the World]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

Still, never mind - could be worse. How's the nude lady?

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

Still, never mind - could be worse. How's the nude lady?

Well, she's broken our hearts, the little bastard. She's been nothing but trouble and if she comes round here again I'll kick her teeth in.

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

Still, never mind - could be worse. How's the nude lady?

Well, she's broken our hearts, the little bastard. She's been nothing but trouble and if she comes round here again I'll kick her teeth in.

... See Miss Evans pursued by the man-eating roll-top writing desk.

[Citizen of the World]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

Still, never mind - could be worse. How's the nude lady?

Well, she's broken our hearts, the little bastard. She's been nothing but trouble and if she comes round here again I'll kick her teeth in.

... See Miss Evans pursued by the man-eating roll-top writing desk.

Yes! Coming to this cinema soon! The tender compassionate story of one man's love for another man in drag. THRILL! to the excitement of a night emission over Germany.

[blackhawkrush]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

Still, never mind - could be worse. How's the nude lady?

Well, she's broken our hearts, the little bastard. She's been nothing but trouble and if she comes round here again I'll kick her teeth in.

... See Miss Evans pursued by the man-eating roll-top writing desk.

Yes! Coming to this cinema soon! The tender compassionate story of one man's love for another man in drag. THRILL! to the excitement of a night emission over Germany.

Ja, ja. We haff a little...Was ist ruckweise bewegen?

[Your_Lion]

...that unfortunately Miss Cicely Courtneidge is unable to appear, owing to..

No... no ... not a murder... no what's like a murder but begins with B?

Basingstoke in Westphalia, sir. :bang bang:

I know - I know. There's a bale of hay outside Basingstoke. We could throw you out.

If you want to play with balloons, get outside.

Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.

I always preferred the outdoor life. Hunting, shooting, :bang bang: fishing.

I would like to buy a fish licence, please. A license for my pet fish, Eric.

Well, what fish have you got that isn't jugged?

No, we haven't got any of that... ah, I've got mackerel... or cod... or hake...

It's not much of a cheese shop really, is it?

Our sales would plummet!

When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, 'Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit'. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign 'the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete's head. From the House of Conquistador'.

Ah well, this is your free dead Indian, as advertised...

If you want to get anything done on this site, you've got to complain 'till you're blue in the face. :eyeroll:

Still, never mind - could be worse. How's the nude lady?

Well, she's broken our hearts, the little bastard. She's been nothing but trouble and if she comes round here again I'll kick her teeth in.

... See Miss Evans pursued by the man-eating roll-top writing desk.

Yes! Coming to this cinema soon! The tender compassionate story of one man's love for another man in drag. THRILL! to the excitement of a night emission over Germany.

Ja, ja. We haff a little...Was ist ruckweise bewegen?

Herr Zeppelin - it's wonderful! It's put ballooning right back on the map. :clap:

[blackhawkrush]

Watch it, mate. I'm not going to stay round here getting poked and prodded all day. I'm off... :outtahere:

[Citizen of the World]

Watch it, mate. I'm not going to stay round here getting poked and prodded all day. I'm off... :outtahere:

After all we've done for him...Get out! Get out! Get OUT! You ... LABOURER!