Rushchick10 Posted March 10, 2011 Author Share Posted March 10, 2011 Thanks for the support, my friends. As civil as you try to be about this thing, feelings are going to get hurt and tempers are going to flare. I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday after going around town with him and taking care of "business." Yeah, it was ultimately my decision to go forward with the divorce, but that doesn't mean that I don't still care about the guy. The lyric from Emotion Detector came to mind, the one at the end; "Feelings run high." Funny how I always saw that as a positive lyric, and funny how it's the first to come to mind during such a negative time. Songs can have different meanings depending on what you are experiencing at that time. Thank Ged for music (especially Rush...less that a month to my first show now, baby!!), or else I'd be in a pretty bad way right now. "I believe that what I'm feeling changes how the world appears." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 Today will be spent packing more of his stuff for him. It's just easier and less awkward if I get his boxes packed and he just stops briefly to pick them up. I'm tossing up defense mechanisms now, I know. But, I have to keep my sanity somehow. I feel so relieved and so sad at the same time. The conundrum that is my emotions can be a real drag sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Force Ten Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 Thinking of you Jaime. I hope all goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (Force Ten @ Mar 18 2011, 01:13 PM) Thinking of you Jaime. I hope all goes well. Thank you. It will be better in the long run, but it will take a bit of time. Until then, I shall do what I need to get through. Rush (and my man Geddy!!) is just around the corner, so that's a bright light in an otherwise kinda dark time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen of Megadon Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Mar 18 2011, 01:08 PM) Today will be spent packing more of his stuff for him. It's just easier and less awkward if I get his boxes packed and he just stops briefly to pick them up. I'm tossing up defense mechanisms now, I know. But, I have to keep my sanity somehow. I feel so relieved and so sad at the same time. The conundrum that is my emotions can be a real drag sometimes. You're going to do what you have to do to protect yourself...including throwing up your defenses...there will be a whirlwind of emotions, but in the end, relief. I am a child of divorce, and divorced as well. My son and I have been pretty much on our own for 12 years. It's doable. You'll both be cool, no worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted March 18, 2011 Author Share Posted March 18, 2011 QUOTE (Queen of Megadon @ Mar 18 2011, 01:29 PM) QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Mar 18 2011, 01:08 PM) Today will be spent packing more of his stuff for him. It's just easier and less awkward if I get his boxes packed and he just stops briefly to pick them up. I'm tossing up defense mechanisms now, I know. But, I have to keep my sanity somehow. I feel so relieved and so sad at the same time. The conundrum that is my emotions can be a real drag sometimes. You're going to do what you have to do to protect yourself...including throwing up your defenses...there will be a whirlwind of emotions, but in the end, relief. I am a child of divorce, and divorced as well. My son and I have been pretty much on our own for 12 years. It's doable. You'll both be cool, no worries. I'm no stranger to being a single parent. Just making that transition after 8 years of having a partner is a challenge. It's a lot easier now, being that Alex is older and doesn't need constant supervision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted April 4, 2011 Author Share Posted April 4, 2011 Wow. Apparently, in Idaho, if the divorce is uncontested, it is done at record-breaking speeds. So, yeah...I'm officially single as of Friday. Feels odd after 8+ years of being with the same man. Trust me, I'll never do the marriage thing again. Not saying that I won't have a relationship...it just won't include the "M" word. That is, unless Geddy finally returns my phone calls and takes me up on my proposal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SavageAmy Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Anything you need, let me know... You want I should bring a couple bottles of wine to Cleveland to set up a Geddy-trap? (I'm thinking something like an old Road Runner cartoon, with the bottles underneath a big box propped up on a stick, and a sign that reads "Free to Sexy Rockstars...") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxxiStarr Posted April 4, 2011 Share Posted April 4, 2011 Whoa that IS quick ... probably a blessing in disguise though. Can't imagine anything worse than it hanging over your head. Luv ya sis <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 QUOTE (SavageAmy @ Apr 4 2011, 09:56 AM)Anything you need, let me know... You want I should bring a couple bottles of wine to Cleveland to set up a Geddy-trap? (I'm thinking something like an old Road Runner cartoon, with the bottles underneath a big box propped up on a stick, and a sign that reads "Free to Sexy Rockstars...") Hee Hee! I'll be there to help tackle him!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Good,bad,andrush Posted April 5, 2011 Share Posted April 5, 2011 (edited) QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Mar 18 2011, 01:08 PM) I feel so relieved and so sad at the same time. Balance is important. Go listen to the Cygnus X-1 duology now! And as somebody who is still putting up with divorced parents...it is difficult, and rather depressing at times. I like to argue I have a special case however, but I won't really get into that. Let's just say I love both my parents, but I cannot believe what happened between them, and it was not cheating on each other, it was probably worse. But I'm still here. I'm happy because I keep myself busy and sometimes I overanalyze things when some days I sit back and enjoy the good things. I know my parents care for me enough at least to keep me living here until next year at the very least, and I thank them for that. I have a good family as well and a few really great friends, one of which is a TRF member But what I'm saying is that if you're a loving mother, and he has a loving father, he'll be fine provided you give your son time to reflect and other time to enjoy what life has to offer him. I emphasize that because you have to let him focus on himself and what he finds in life, not what you offer him. When he gets off track, push him back on, but let him go from there. That's all it takes really, and that way he develops physical, emotional, and mental strength. Sometimes I think if my parents were not divorced, I would not be exposed to all the great literature I've read, the pleasure that writing stories has brought me, the joy of spending time with my bandmates, my friendship with Rush fans, which happen to be some of the most honest people around, and many other things. I can watch a simple sports game and I enjoy it because I like to see how the plays work and how well each member does their job...i don't just watch it to cheer on people I don't know. I like analyzing it and enjoying the of adrenaline. And heck, watching sports is one of my least favorite things in the world. What I'm saying is that i think I have gained the ability to acknowledge and appreciate everything in life. And when things get dark, and they do often, I know I'm strong enough to handle it. Pay the price, don't count the cost. It'll come out alright, but be aware that dark times will never go away. Learn how to deal with them and make yourself and your son stronger. Edited April 5, 2011 by Good,bad,andrush Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Posted April 7, 2011 Share Posted April 7, 2011 QUOTE (Rushchick10 @ Apr 4 2011, 05:19 AM) Wow. Apparently, in Idaho, if the divorce is uncontested, it is done at record-breaking speeds. So, yeah...I'm officially single as of Friday. Feels odd after 8+ years of being with the same man. Trust me, I'll never do the marriage thing again. Not saying that I won't have a relationship...it just won't include the "M" word. That is, unless Geddy finally returns my phone calls and takes me up on my proposal. Wow! It sounds like everything went smoothly. That's always a good thing. An aunt of mine just divorced her husband last year. Another has gone through two divorces. I've seen how the process affects people. You sound like you are handling things well. Are you nervous about doing the dating thing again? I will admit I kind of miss the excitement of a first date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted April 7, 2011 Author Share Posted April 7, 2011 (edited) Edited April 7, 2011 by Rushchick10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberpunk bee Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 reply to original post. i know how you feel, been going through similar myself. iv not read the other posts to this thread, but i would just like to say, you are not alone you know. life is hard and marriage is hard at times and having kids involved makes it worse, but the best thing you can do is to be true to yourself and your kids (if you have any) do whats best for your life. in my oppinion kids need food, water, shelter, love, encouragement and compassion. that can be applied to yourself aswell. not to be corny but oh well...some rush songs that have helped me...'something for nothing' and 'enemy within' listening to those songs helped me through a lot. hope things are ok, fancy a rant, message me. if not, its ok. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyberpunk bee Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 also...one day, you will find someone who makes you feel like a million times more special etc...and you will soon forget the bad times you have had. hugs xxxxxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 Rushchick10 here, reporting from the trenches! So far, I have abstained from my usual post-relationship ritual (i.e. rebounding with a vengeance) and have quite enjoyed my time without a partner. It's just been me and Lil' Lerxst (with the exception of the Rush shows I attended back in April...those peeps are my brothers and sisters!) and it's been peaceful. I'm clearing out some of the garbage in my life (physically and mentally), and am getting back on track. I had fallen into a pretty dark place towards the end of my marriage, and had started down a path that the outcome would have been nothing but heartache. So, I'm good...a little lonely at times, but nothing a phone call or chat with my Rush pals doesn't fix! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NobodysHeroine Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 I am very glad to know that you've adjusted well. We may not know each other personally, but from what I can see, you are a strong woman. Plus a wonderful mother who has kept a loving and supportive environment for her son. You've taken it all in stride and survived. Good for you. My parents are still together after twenty-seven years; I have never been married or divorced myself, nor do I plan to be anytime soon, so I can't really empathize. But all the same, you have my love, Jaime, and many other New World Women's, as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rushchick10 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 QUOTE (NobodysHeroine @ May 23 2011, 04:01 PM) I am very glad to know that you've adjusted well. We may not know each other personally, but from what I can see, you are a strong woman. Plus a wonderful mother who has kept a loving and supportive environment for her son. You've taken it all in stride and survived. Good for you. My parents are still together after twenty-seven years; I have never been married or divorced myself, nor do I plan to be anytime soon, so I can't really empathize. But all the same, you have my love, Jaime, and many other New World Women's, as well. Your kind words are much appreciated. My parents were also married for a long time...until mom snapped. I think they were together, all told, for around 30 years. Sad, definitely, but it was better for my father. He'd become quite hard and withdrawn. He's not so much like that anymore and, for that, I am glad. I do feel that I am adjusting well, and approaching life with a much healthier attitude. Not having a partner right now, I think, is just what the doctor ordered. Besides...I'm saving myself for Geddy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxxiStarr Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 ... or a holodeck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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