Car prejudices

[Mara]

Do you tend to make assumptions about someone you do not know from Adam's housecat based solely on the vehicle they drive? Because I do. :D I mean just random people on the road.

 

Here are a few of mine:

 

Kia Soul: goofy high school girl or an aging housewife desperately trying to hold on to youth. If it's a man behind the wheel (apologies in advance to Varian Star, who I am pretty sure would not be caught in one unless he was in a coffin), I tend to think he must be gay.

 

Range Rover of any kind: more money than sense. I.e., they are OK with the fact that the thing needs frequent repairs and gets crap gas mileage.

 

Jaguar X-Type (now defunct): think they're cool because it's a Jag. Those of us who know better think they're stupid because they overpaid for a Ford Contour in a Jaguar costume. If it's possible, the X-Type is even less reliable than the Contour.

 

Smart Car: hipster twit. If it's a man - and for some reason 99% of the ones I see around here ARE driven by men, I figure their wives keep their balls locked in a safe deposit box. They always look angry and drive aggressively. Dude, it does not matter how much you gun what Smart likes to think of as an engine, or how many people you cut off in traffic: you are driving a f*ucking clown car and people are laughing at you.

 

Saabs, and to a lesser extent Volvos: They might be nice people in the grocery store, at church, or in social settings, but on the road they are Olympic-class assholes. They will cut you off as soon as look at you, and don't even think they might possibly let you merge.

Edited December 5, 2013 by Mara

[ILSnwdog]

Toyota Corolla - You make love in your pajamas, and your idea of letting your hair down is ordering the wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with the spicy garlic sauce...but not before you take a Zantac.

[ILSnwdog]

Ford Escort Wagon - You are a ten year veteran with The Geek Squad at Best Buy. You live in your parent's basement, but think its cool because it has a separate entrance from the rest of the house. You have every CD in Weird Al's catalog.

[Narps]

Toyota Corolla - You make love in your pajamas, and your idea of letting your hair down is ordering the wings at Buffalo Wild Wings with the spicy garlic sauce...but not before you take a Zantac.

You forgot sleeping in your socks... ;)

[ILSnwdog]

BMW 3 series - You got picked on in high school for being a dork, and you have spent the last 19 years of your life compensating for that fact...or you're compensating for the fact that you are hung like an infant.

[ILSnwdog]

Saabs, and to a lesser extent Volvos: They might be nice people in the grocery store, at church, or in social settings, but on the road they are Olympic-class assholes. They will cut you off as soon as look at you, and don't even think they might possibly let you merge.

I had a Saab 9/4 for a couple of years.

 

Sorry if I cut you off. :D

[Mara]

BMW 3 series - You got picked on in high school for being a dork, and you have spent the last 19 years of your life compensating for that fact...or you're compensating for the fact that you are hung like an infant.

 

The "hung-like-an-infant" thing:

 

I usually think that about guys who have jacked their pickups so far off the ground they just barely clear bridges and overhangs, put tires on that look better suited to a combine harvester (complete with shocks and struts as thick as one of Rosie O'Donnell's thighs), and have barely-legal mufflers. Also don't forget the stadium-lighting on the roof and grill. Serious compensation going on there.

 

That only applies to the ones out on the road - monster truck rallies are where they belong.

Edited December 5, 2013 by Mara

[ILSnwdog]

A 1985 Chevy Impala with 22 inch rims - you're black and like hoodies and baggy jeans that ride about 7 inches below your buttocks. Edited December 5, 2013 by ILSnwdog

[ILSnwdog]

BMW 3 series - You got picked on in high school for being a dork, and you have spent the last 19 years of your life compensating for that fact...or you're compensating for the fact that you are hung like an infant.

 

The "hung-like-an-infant" thing:

 

I usually think that about guys who have jacked their pickups so far off the ground they just barely clear bridges and overhangs, put tires on that look better suited to a combine harvester (complete with shocks and struts as thick as one of Rosie O'Donnell's thighs), and have barely-legal mufflers. Also don't forget the stadium-lighting on the roof and grill. Serious compensation going on there.

 

That only applies to the ones out on the road - monster truck rallies are where they belong.

its a geographical thing. In rural areas, its the monster truck, and in urban areas, the BMW. :)

[Narps]

BMW 3 series - You got picked on in high school for being a dork, and you have spent the last 19 years of your life compensating for that fact...or you're compensating for the fact that you are hung like an infant.

 

The "hung-like-an-infant" thing:

 

I usually think that about guys who have jacked their pickups so far off the ground they just barely clear bridges and overhangs, put tires on that look better suited to a combine harvester (complete with shocks and struts as thick as one of Rosie O'Donnell's thighs), and have barely-legal mufflers. Also don't forget the stadium-lighting on the roof and grill. Serious compensation going on there.

 

That only applies to the ones out on the road - monster truck rallies are where they belong.

I have heard too, that males that drive Plymouth Voyagers the opposite is true.... :P

[Mara]

BMW 3 series - You got picked on in high school for being a dork, and you have spent the last 19 years of your life compensating for that fact...or you're compensating for the fact that you are hung like an infant.

 

The "hung-like-an-infant" thing:

 

I usually think that about guys who have jacked their pickups so far off the ground they just barely clear bridges and overhangs, put tires on that look better suited to a combine harvester (complete with shocks and struts as thick as one of Rosie O'Donnell's thighs), and have barely-legal mufflers. Also don't forget the stadium-lighting on the roof and grill. Serious compensation going on there.

 

That only applies to the ones out on the road - monster truck rallies are where they belong.

its a geographical thing. In rural areas, its the monster truck, and in urban areas, the BMW. :)

 

It also applies to over-modded Hummers. Poor guys lack wienerage AND brains.

 

I work with a guy who has a sweet little Honda S2000. Those were really nifty little cars and it's a shame Honda quit making them.

 

Anyway, co-worker TOTALLY ruined his by bolting one of those giant ugly-ass whale-tail spoilers on the back. Shithead.

[Narps]

I tend to probably judge more on the age and condition of the car someone drives. I probably do the other too, but really don't spend much time on it. In South Carolina there are no vehicle inspections and you see all kinds of strange things coming down the road. Fenders missing, hoods missing and it's the duct tape and glad bag your broken window capital of the world... :)

[Mara]

I tend to probably judge more on the age and condition of the car someone drives. I probably do the other too, but really don't spend much time on it. In South Carolina there are no vehicle inspections and you see all kinds of strange things coming down the road. Fenders missing, hoods missing and it's the duct tape and glad bag your broken window capital of the world... :)

 

We get a few of those here. One of my neighbors may be the worst driver in the world. He has a Hyundai Elantra (not the current cool-looking model) and every time I drive/walk past his house, there's another piece of the car missing or trashed. If I see him get in the car, I just wait until he's out of the driveway before I continue on. I do not trust him to not back right into me without looking.

 

Other favorite: "Tag Applied For". Bullshit. You took the tag off for one of two reasons:

 

-The car will not pass inspections, you can't get current registration, and you have reasons for not wanting to be pulled over

 

OR

 

-You're trying to hide from the repo men.

 

Of course those are not legal in GA - you either have to have real official dealer tags or the plates. "Tag Applied For" is code for "Please Pull Me Over".

[Narps]

I tend to probably judge more on the age and condition of the car someone drives. I probably do the other too, but really don't spend much time on it. In South Carolina there are no vehicle inspections and you see all kinds of strange things coming down the road. Fenders missing, hoods missing and it's the duct tape and glad bag your broken window capital of the world... :)

 

We get a few of those here. One of my neighbors may be the worst driver in the world. He has a Hyundai Elantra (not the current cool-looking model) and every time I drive/walk past his house, there's another piece of the car missing or trashed. If I see him get in the car, I just wait until he's out of the driveway before I continue on. I do not trust him to not back right into me without looking.

 

Other favorite: "Tag Applied For". Bullshit. You took the tag off for one of two reasons:

 

-The car will not pass inspections, you can't get current registration, and you have reasons for not wanting to be pulled over

 

OR

 

-You're trying to hide from the repo men.

 

Of course those are not legal in GA - you either have to have real official dealer tags or the plates. "Tag Applied For" is code for "Please Pull Me Over".

"Tag Applied For" is everywhere in South Carolina also needless to say. Also Joe Blows Auto tags everywhere with expiration dates on them. There are Mopeds' all over the roads too... I still prefer this sh*t to the crap I went through to have a legal vehicle on the road in the state of Maryland....

[Principled Man]

If it's a newer Cadillac, I automatically assume that it's a retired white man who thinks he owns the road and can go as slowly as possible.

[Babycat]

Do you tend to make assumptions about someone you do not know from Adam's housecat based solely on the vehicle they drive? Because I do. :D I mean just random people on the road.

 

Here are a few of mine:

 

Kia Soul: goofy high school girl or an aging housewife desperately trying to hold on to youth. If it's a man behind the wheel (apologies in advance to Varian Star, who I am pretty sure would not be caught in one unless he was in a coffin), I tend to think he must be gay.

 

Range Rover of any kind: more money than sense. I.e., they are OK with the fact that the thing needs frequent repairs and gets crap gas mileage.

 

Jaguar X-Type (now defunct): think they're cool because it's a Jag. Those of us who know better think they're stupid because they overpaid for a Ford Contour in a Jaguar costume. If it's possible, the X-Type is even less reliable than the Contour.

 

Smart Car: hipster twit. If it's a man - and for some reason 99% of the ones I see around here ARE driven by men, I figure their wives keep their balls locked in a safe deposit box. They always look angry and drive aggressively. Dude, it does not matter how much you gun what Smart likes to think of as an engine, or how many people you cut off in traffic: you are driving a f*ucking clown car and people are laughing at you.

 

Saabs, and to a lesser extent Volvos: They might be nice people in the grocery store, at church, or in social settings, but on the road they are Olympic-class assholes. They will cut you off as soon as look at you, and don't even think they might possibly let you merge.

 

Isn't the Smart Car the one that looks like a box on wheels? There's barely enough room for one person, let alone two. I always think they look like they've been punted in the rear.

[Mara]

If it's a newer Cadillac, I automatically assume that it's a retired white man who thinks he owns the road and can go as slowly as possible.

 

I don't know quite how to say this without sounding mean or insensitive, but why is it that having a Disabled Person plate generally means the driver is really, really, really slow? It's not always because they're elderly either.

I had a temp Handicapped tag when I had my hip replaced and believe me, it didn't seem to affect the drag coefficient of my car.

[Principled Man]

If it's a newer Cadillac, I automatically assume that it's a retired white man who thinks he owns the road and can go as slowly as possible.

 

I don't know quite how to say this without sounding mean or insensitive, but why is it that having a Disabled Person plate generally means the driver is really, really, really slow? It's not always because they're elderly either.

I had a temp Handicapped tag when I had my hip replaced and believe me, it didn't seem to affect the drag coefficient of my car.

 

I've never really noticed cars with disabled plates going slow.....except for when they're getting out of parking spaces at the store.

 

No, wait.....everyone takes forever getting out of parking spaces..... :P

[ILSnwdog]

If it's a newer Cadillac, I automatically assume that it's a retired white man who thinks he owns the road and can go as slowly as possible.

Not this Cadillac.

http://media.caranddriver.com/images/media/272380/2009-cadillac-cts-v-photo-272424-s-1280x782.jpg

Cadillac CTS-V. 0-60 in 3.9 seconds. 556 horsepower. 7.59 lap at the Nürburgring Nordschleife. :haz:

Edited December 5, 2013 by ILSnwdog

[Mara]

Chrysler 300 Series: wants to own a Bentley because all the rappers/NBA players have one. Thinks this might fool a few people.

 

Seriously, I think I have seen maybe 3 WASPS driving a 300, ever.

[Lerxster]

Minivans are a menace on the roadway. Toyota and Nissan make ugly cars. Camrys are by far America's ugliest sedan. Old hooptie = bad/slow driver.

[Mara]

If you absolutely MUST have a Chevrolet Suburban, buy a new one if you are concerned with appearances. The used ones all belonged to harried moms in charge of ferrying too many kids around. Chances are that someone's closed the garage door on the thing more than once. EIther that or it belonged to the FBI and might have bloodstains still in the seat fabric. :D

 

This is also a vehicle you never, ever want to park within visual radius of. The same applies to most minivans.

[Aikenrooster]

Suburu Outback: socialist and likely s Yankee.

Florida license plate: Bona fide idiot and accident waiting to happen.

 

[Digital Man]

BMW - all of tehm

 

I think you get a certificate when you buy one that says you can drive however, whenever, wherever regardles of who else is on the road. Everyone has to get out of your way and you don't even have to look out for other cars because they will somehow know when to get out of your way.

[Aikenrooster]

Chevrolet Caprice Classic: drug dealer.