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Everything posted by Lorraine

  1. I have nothing to say that I haven't before. Cancer is awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I'd give anything to go back to the old days. I'm so depressed I just had two or thregood days. Today I awoke feeling like crap. Keep the prayers coming. I''m s worn out. Down to 102. Please anyone want to contact me Becky has all the info Thanks 73 for the new you-know-what. My memory is shot Pray for me. It wont be long now S o many of you are in my heart
  2. Going out of harbor aboard ship. No joke. Wouldn't surprise me if I am in Hospice by the end of the week. Haven't any more energy to write more at this time. Don't ever die of cancer. Love and prayers to all. There is no unforgiveness on the other side. Only in hell.
  3. I lost my post. Will try to fix it later.
  4. :hug2: Lorraine! PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!! YOU ARE STRONG!!! I had gastritis when I was a kid and it was terrible! They had to give me a shot in my ass check. It hurt like Hell!! Please hang in there Lorraine! You are surrounded by many who love you so much!! YOU FUCKKING ROCK!!! Merry Christmas my great friend!! LOVE, Earl Earl, you get worn down and out. You're not giving up, you just want relief. The pain wears you out. Developing gastritis didn't help. That pain is through the roof. I have to back on hospice. Someone in my condition doesn't care if they have borderline high cholesterol. I am already dying, so who cares about minor stuff like that?
  5. Just dropped in for a sec. I am in pain, but wanted you to know that you are all so much in my heart and I am grateful to each of you for all you have done and are doing. Don't stop. :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:
  6. Still alive Latest development is gastritis. Do you know how painful that is? Not even morphine helps that pain. Honestly, I can't take much more.
  7. It wasn't pain free, but it was peaceful. The pain is always in a different spot. Today, it was in along the side of the right rib-cage kind of towards the back. Hard to describe the location, but the pain was like a toothache - constant and annoying. Finally had to give in and take a 15 mg. morphine tab. It went away. :hug2:
  8. Bravery is doing chemo with all its horrors. I am not brave. I really chose the coward's way out.
  9. :facepalm: :eh: :lol: Now, Goose. :blink: Let's not get out of hand. :tsk: If you continue, I will ask the rock gods to play I'll Wait nonstop in your head for weeks. :yes: :madra: :codger: :hug2:
  10. What does that mean anyway - "died from natural causes"?
  11. My favorite song by them. I was in the 7th grade when it came out. RIP Mike!
  12. I just want to say that I wouldn't wish what I am going through on anyone - not even someone I heartily despised. It changes you completely. No one should ever have to go through this. If it is true that they do have a cure for cancer but it would kill the economy if revealed (think of it just in the amount of jobs lost - no one apparently wants to work anymore as it is - very strange how you make more money sitting home - didn't work that way when I was younger) it's awful that the almighty dollar is everyone's bottom line anymore - no matter who or what. Chemo alone brings the pharmaceutical companies billions and billions a year. I forget if it is chemo or atorvastatins that is their biggest money-maker. In any event, to be handed a death sentence with unpleasant alternatives to buy just a little time - maybe - is awful. My love to all here. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2: :hug2:
  13. That is absolutely beautiful. I wish I could fall asleep looking at something like that on my wall. Thanks, Goose. :hug2:
  14. Lack of pain would be wonderful. I can't deny the pain. It exist. I still have to take morphine pills at night. Down to one. Two if it is bad. Today I got by without taking any pills at all. Until tonight. Then the pain starts. It's obvious there is still something very wrong.
  15. Still alive. :) Not much to say. I opted to have the morphine pump removed. They didn't like that one bit. Actually fought me on it. They got me suspicious of the whole outfit. I don't want to die yet. I am going to look for a doctor to see if he can help me and prescribe the pills to help manage the pain when I needed. If it turns out not, then I can always go back on.
  16. I am at home receiving their services. I will only go there the last few weeks of my life o die. Easier to die there than here.
  17. She was a beautiful woman. Rest in Peace. :rose:
  18. But I still can't wait to get up each morning. :) Isn't that strange? Still can't explain that inexplicable joy in my heart. :wub:
  19. That sounds so frustrating! I hope tomorrow is better. Can you maybe check with your church? I know ours has retired people that volunteer to drive others to the store, medical appointments, things like that. Maybe they could find someone to coordinate and drive trips for you? :hug2: :hug2: The first place I checked was with my church. There are no medical appointments when you are on Hospice. Hospice isn't there to get you well; it is there to help you die in comfort without pain. All I need is someone to take me to the store once or twice a week. I am not one of those goes down each and every aisle and stops and looks at every single item shopper. I know what I need and want and where it is. I just go, get what I need and leave. The church office is having a hard time getting anyone to help. I'm not the only frustrated senior. It will work out. I hope.
  20. They can't tell me how much time I have, but they told me they have a room fixed up for me and getting decorated for Christmas These people are started to drive me nuts. So, which is it? Either could live for weeks or almost a year???? I wish I could lock myself up in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel tomorrow for hours just to get my brain set straight. All I do here all day is text endlessly to no one who can be of any real help to me. Tomorrow I am putting my phone on DND I can't even find someone to drive me to the store. When the other person who drives here that has cancer found out I was on a morphine pump and could no longer drive. that was the end of my use. And the social worker from hospice asked me today why I don't sell my car back to subaru Probably because they'd give me $10,000 for it and turn around and sell it for $23,000 Woe is me.
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