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THE ONLY BORED THREAD v.1


ghostworks
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There I was, sitting in a train carriage just the other day, pondering about railway announcers and how they should phrase their oft-repeated request that every passenger should remember to take all their belongings with them when they disembark from a train, and lo and behold, I was interrupted by a man who wanted to see my ticket. Ignoring him, I continued my philosophical and linguistic cogitations.

"Sorry to disturb you, Sir," said the man in a louder but polite voice, "but could I see your ticket?"

I, realizing that this man, a conductor, wasn't going to go away, said: "We apologise for the delay in your service and we hope to be able to show you our ticket shortly."

The conductor cocked a puzzled eyebrow wacko.gif . "Your ticket, please, Sir," was what he finally said.

"Thank you for your patience," I added. "My left arm is being held at a red signal by my nervous system - I will let you know when it's safely on the move again."

The conductor was starting to look pissed off, angry.gif and he said, with a pugnacious tone: "You will have to leave this train if you do not have a valid ticket - and - " he continued, over-riding my assurances that I did indeed have a valid ticket - "as such, you have to show it when asked."

"I fully intend to do so," I eventually said, "but as soon as my left arm is on the move - which will be in about 3 minutes, rest assured, you will see my ticket." A moment later, I added: "I have just been informed by my nervous system that the reason why my left arm has been held up is because the latest novel by Ovningskora Spaceman Spiff, entitled ghostworks - The God of Pants is resting on it."

"F*** me," thought the conductor, getting really hacked off by now, finally exploded: rage.gif,"Just show me your ticket, or I'll have a guard throw you off this train!" rage.gif

I blinked. "I see," I said after a moment. "But would it not be easier for you to say: 'Please remember to take with you, when disembarking from this train, your belongings, be they personal, impersonal, someone else's baggage, things you may have found since boarding this train or passed on to others...' "

The conductor b_sigh.gif ed, giving in, and he wearily said: "Look, mate, just show me your ticket - I can't be arsed with this."

"Sure," I said, and did so.

The conductor, satisfied with the validity of my ticket, said: "This book..."

"By Ovningskora Spaceman Spiff," I said. "Entitled, ghostworks - The God of Pants"

"What's it about?" he asked.

I answered with a slight smile: "A complete mystery." I opened the book and began to read.

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KUBLA KHAN

 

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

A stately pleasure dome decree:

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran

Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground

With walls and towers were girdled round:

And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,

Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;

And here were forests ancient as the hills,

Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

 

But oh! that deep romantic chasm which slanted

Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover!

A savage place! as holy and enchanted

As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted

By woman wailing for her demon lover!

And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,

As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,

A mighty fountain momently was forced:

Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst

Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,

Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail:

And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever

It flung up momently the sacred river.

Five miles meandering with a mazy motion

Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,

Then reached the caverns measureless to man,

And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean:

And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far

Ancestral voices prophesying war!

The shadow of the dome of pleasure

Floated midway on the waves;

Where was heard the mingled measure

From the fountain and the caves.

It was a miracle of rare device,

A sunny pleasure dome with caves of ice!

 

A damsel with a dulcimer

In a vision I once saw:

It was an Abyssinian maid,

And on her dulcimer she played,

Singing of Mount Abora.

Could I revive within me

Her symphony and song,

To such a deep delight 'twould win me,

That with music loud and long,

I would build that dome in air,

That sunny dome! Those caves of ice!

And all who heard should see them there,

And all should cry, Beware! Beware!

His flashing eyes, his floating hair!

Weave a circle round him thrice,

And close your eyes with holy dread,

For he on honeydew hath fed,

And drunk the milk of Paradise.

 

Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1816]

Edited by Katana2112
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Last Active: 17th February 2012 - 12:01 PM

 

 

 

awol ghostworks

 

 

 

it would seem as though anime, "kiddie porn which isn't at all kiddie porn" posted in a thread which he was no way active in drove him away. i'm assuming this based on his last few posts before the unusual SUPER LONG OMG inactivity of 2 days.

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QUOTE (Ovningskora @ Feb 19 2012, 06:02 PM)

Turn Options:
>Hunt (gain EXP and may find items)
>Quest (once started, opting out is hard)
>Shop (buy items)
>Rest (regain HP / MP)
>Interact (trade or team up with other players, need their consent)


Matt The Elf:
-Specializes in Healing and Speed
Stats: Level One
10 HP, 8 MP, 6 Strength, 5 Defense, 7 Magic, 10 Speed
Items (Matt, select which armor / weaponry you'd like to equip):
100 coins, 3 potions, 3 revives, oak shortbow , phoenix crossbow, leather top, peasant's shorts, leather boots.
Equipped Armour/Weaponry:
None (Weapon), None (Chest), None (Legs), None (Boots), None (Necklace), None (Head)
Abilities (Matt, select one):
Multiple Shot - Shoots several arrows, hitting each standing opponent accurately
Restoration - Heals ally or self to a near full, and restores a small amount of MP

I will be substituting for Matt the Elf.

 

I choose to equip the oak shortbow, leather top, peasant's shorts, and leather boots

 

my ability will be restoration

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