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A lawyer's Story


Slaine mac Roth

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Don't know if this is true or not (a friend e-mailed it to me) but, true or not, I find it quite amusing:

 

A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy. The lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

 

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

 

The lawyer sued... and WON!

 

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and! paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

 

 

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

 

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QUOTE (pedro2112 @ Sep 28 2005, 01:22 PM)
QUOTE (Slaine mac Roth @ Sep 28 2005, 01:38 PM)
Don't know if this is true or not

It's not true. It's just more typical lawyer bashing.

 

Proof

rofl3.gif You gotta admit though, repod4162, that is a good lawyer story. I thought this was going to start out with something like, "What do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?"

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QUOTE (Drumnut @ Sep 29 2005, 01:01 AM)
QUOTE (pedro2112 @ Sep 28 2005, 01:22 PM)
QUOTE (Slaine mac Roth @ Sep 28 2005, 01:38 PM)
Don't know if this is true or not

It's not true. It's just more typical lawyer bashing.

 

Proof

rofl3.gif You gotta admit though, repod4162, that is a good lawyer story. I thought this was going to start out with something like, "What do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?"

I like a good lawyer joke as much as the next guy. However, this wasn't a "lawyer" joke. The original joke had nothing to do with a lawyer.

 

Now if the joke was instead, "A man and a woman were on their way to the chapel to get married when they were in a terrible accident. Both were instantly killed. They both went up to heaven together. While in heaven, they spoke to St. Peter and asked, "Do you think we can get married here in heaven?" St. Peter answered, "Let me find out for you." Several hundred years later they were married. After another thousand years or so, they came to St. Peter again and asked, "is it possible for us to get divorced in heaven?" St. Peter replied, "Oh, for the love of everything holy! When you asked to get married it took me months to find a priest in heaven. Now you ask the impossible.... to find a lawyer here!"

 

That would have been funny...

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A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.

 

Fortunately , a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

 

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

 

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are, he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

 

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

 

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

 

"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer, "MY ROLEX!"

 

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QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 8 2006, 01:50 PM)
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.

Fortunately , a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing. But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief.

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are, he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer, "MY ROLEX!"

z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif

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QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 8 2006, 01:50 PM)
"OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer, "MY ROLEX!"

That made me giggle.

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